荷塘月色赏析

1、made bymade by：0707级级6 6班班 黄琛（黄琛（2007403104620074031046） 罗罗譞譞（2007403104520074031045） 郭娟（郭娟（2007403104x2007403104x） 贺旭婷（贺旭婷（2007403104220074031042） 贺鹏坤（贺鹏坤（2007403104720074031047） 何昌品（何昌品（2007403104x2007403104x） 唐香香（唐香香（2007403104120074031041） 张飞虹（张飞虹（2007403104020074031040） 滕华（滕华（2007403104x2007403

2、104x） 、 关键段（关键段（4.5.64.5.6自然段自然段）赏析）赏析 the construction of our pptthe construction of our ppt introductions of author is a professor of translation and linguistics of city university of hong kong chinese. he once taught at fujian normal university, national university of singapore. he is experienced

3、 in teaching with the translation of research to guide translation of master and phd students as interpreters and translators master office. contribution: his devote himself to research the text and style of translation, translating the chinese version of the cognitive mechanism of the formation and

4、 effect. representative translations: he is well-known for translating guide to writing short stories短篇 小说写作指南(liaoning education press, 1998); oscar wildes 自深深处from works of oscar wilde, (peoples literature publishing house, 2001) and so on. back brief introduction of戴乃迭 some of lu xuns stories, et

5、c. back background of 荷塘月色 荷塘月色荷塘月色was written in 1927, campus of tsinghua university, after the 4 12 coup. revolutionary united front was going to break up. under the circumstance, as a patriotic intellectuals, zhu, who had participated in fourth movement, was anger, resentment into reality with gr

6、eat depression and disappointment. this is the background for zhu ziqing wrote 荷塘月色. “仍然坚守文化批判阵地的知识分子感到一种从未有过的寂寞和凄凉， 因而陷入苦闷彷徨之中。这是处在“五四”和第一次大革命两个革命 高潮之间的低谷中的时代的苦闷，是觉醒的一代醒来之后面对无际的 黑暗而深感理想失落无路可走的苦闷。怀着火一样的热情的启蒙者碰 到的却是冰一般冷酷的现实，觉醒的个性却无法找到让个性自由伸展 的条件，沮丧的心情可想而知。” back general evaluation 荷塘月色荷塘月色 is a very

7、famous modern lyrical prose, it is characterized in portrait of lyrical. the essay applied concise and spiritual-like description, gently expressed the dissatisfaction of reality, the willing to pursue freedom, the thoughts to escape from the reality without ways such kind of complex feelings. back

8、the fourth paragraph 曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像 亭亭的舞女的裙。 【 version】 all over this winding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, reaching rather high above the surface. like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace. 【version 】 as far as eye could see, the pool with

9、 its winding margin was covered with trim leaves, which rose high out of the water like the flared skirts of dancing girls analysis： （1） version是单句分析，而version 是两句的结合；根据 英语语言特点，英语更趋向与长句的运用，所以更加符合英语 语言习惯。 （2）in words lever: silken ：soft, gentle, sooth trim: neat and well cared for 通过比较可得知用通过比较可得知用a si

10、lken field of leaves 把荷叶的形态更好的描绘。把荷叶的形态更好的描绘。 【revised version】: all over this winding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, which reaches rather high above the surface. like the flared skirts of dancing girls in all their grace. 层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地层层的叶子中间，零星地点

11、缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地 打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的 美人。美人。 【 version】 here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms, some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, or twinkling stars, our beauties just out of the bath 【 version 】

12、and starring these tiers of leaves were white lotus flowers, alluringly open or bashfully in bud, like glimmering pearls, stars in an azure sky, or beauties fresh from the bath. analysis: (1) dot: to spread things or people over an area; to be spread over an area star：features as the star scatter: t

13、o throw or drop things in different directions so that they cover an area of ground. so we can use scatter to describe 荷花零星的分散荷花零星的分散 (2) alluring：highly attractive and able to arouse hope or desire demure: behaving in a way that does not attract attention to herself or her body; quiet and serious.

14、so, use willowy，graceful are better. (3)碧天里的星星：碧天里的星星： 没有表达完整没有表达完整 stars in an azure sky 更好更好 ， azure：of a deep somewhat purplish blue color similar to that of a clear october sky 【 revised version 】：and scattering these tiers of leaves were white lotus flowers, some in demure bloom, others in shy

15、bud, like glimmering pearls, stars in an azure sky, or beauties fresh from the bath. 微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。 【 version】 a breeze stirs, sending over breaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building. 【 version】 the breeze carried past gusts of fragrance, like the strains

16、of a song faintly heard from a far-off tower. analysis： (1) breath of : a small amount of sth. gust of : a sudden strong increase in the amount and speed of sth. here “breaths of fragrance” is more suitable than “gusts of fragrance” because the smell the breeze carries is not strong but flat aroma.

17、(2) drift : to move along smoothly and slowly in water or air hear : to be aware of sounds with your ears drift emphasizes that the faint singing moves slowly by itself from a distant place , while hear plays more stress on the listeners feeling, the singing is hearted by people. whats more, far-off

18、 tower is more appropriate than distant building taking the whole surroundings into consideration. 这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动，像闪电般，霎时传过荷塘的那边去 了。 【 version】 at this moment, a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and flowers, like a streak of lightning, straight across the forest of lotuses. 【 version】 and leave

19、s and blossoms trembled slightly, while in a flash the scent was carried away. analysis： (1) streak: to move very fast in a particular direction here it is used to modify the sudden and fast movement of the leaves and flowers. (2) straight : by a direct route; immediately carry away: to take sb./sth

20、. to a particular point or in a particular direction 【 revised version 】 straight through can express the sudden and immediate movement of the thrill, so it is more suitable here. 叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕 【 version】 the leaves, which have been standing shoulder to shoulde

21、r, are caught trembling in an emerald heave of the pond. 【 version】 as the closely serried leaves bent, a tide of opaque emerald could be glimpsed. analysis： (1) tremble : to shake slightly serried:（literary）standing or arranged closely together in rows or lines 朱译朱译 shoulder to shoulder 似乎是局部看到的场景，

22、杨戴本用似乎是局部看到的场景，杨戴本用 serried描绘荷塘整体的感觉，荷叶多且茂盛。描绘荷塘整体的感觉，荷叶多且茂盛。 (2) heave：（：（especially literary）a rising and falling movement opaque: not clear enough to see through or allow light through opaque 又是将又是将“凝碧凝碧”一词中的一词中的“凝凝”字发挥的淋漓尽致。朱本中字发挥的淋漓尽致。朱本中 trembling描述局部荷叶的动态描述局部荷叶的动态 heave 则将整体动态体现无疑，则将整体动态体现无疑，

23、 将将 trembling 和和heave 结合是局部与整体描写的完美体现，个人认为这结合是局部与整体描写的完美体现，个人认为这 里译的不错。里译的不错。 叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更 见风致了。见风致了。 【 version】underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view，and none can tell its color; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attracti

24、vely. 【 version】that was the softly running water beneath, hidden from sight, its color invisible, though the leaves looked more graceful than ever. analysis： (1) exquisite: delicate and sensitive soft: pleasant gentle and comfortable. 这里这里exquisite 显然没有将文中显然没有将文中“脉脉的脉脉的”表达出来，脉脉有默表达出来，脉脉有默 默和温情的意思，后

25、者译成默和温情的意思，后者译成softly就好多了，而且用就好多了，而且用running 修修 饰饰water ，将水的动态表现出来了。，将水的动态表现出来了。 朱译本中加入on top是非常明智的，无形之中让画面的立体可见， 因为在密密麻麻的叶子中只有在上层的才能被人欣赏到她们的风 致，这就是加词手法的妙用。 此外project是动词，其意为 to present sth. / sb. to other people in a particular way, especially one that gives a good impression .对这句的翻译朱纯深以直译为主， 连断句都差不

26、多，杨宪益、 戴乃迭则异译，句式更为灵活。 将两者结，句式多变且更加生动形象。 【 revised version 】 that is the softly running water beneath, hidden from sight, its color invisible, though the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively. the fifth paragraph 月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在 荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样；又像笼着轻纱的梦。 【 versi

27、on】 the moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood. 【 version】 moonlight cascaded like water over the lotus leaves and flow

28、ers, and a light blue mist floating up from the pool made them seem washed in milk or caught in a gauzy dream. analysis： (1) shed：to send light over sth ; to let light fall somewhere. cascade : fall in or like a small waterfall. shed 表现一般的照射之意；相比而言，cascade如瀑布般倾泻而下， 一切美之意境尽收其中，而如瀑布倾泻之顺畅表现出光流不受阻时普 照池塘

29、的安详，表现出作者此时自由宁静之心境。 (2) silently：making no or little sound ；not speaking . 仅表达没有声音这样一个安静的状态，而相比之下。 tranquilly（calm and peaceful and without noise）之calm（平静） 和 peaceful（安宁）让人更感觉不到嘈杂，更符合作者此时的心境。 故认为 cascade tranquilly 更贴切作者此时安详宁静之心境，窃以为 为最佳译本。 (3)bath: an act of washing your whole body by sitting or ly

30、ing in water. wash: to make yourself clean using water and usually soap. 比较二者可以得出：bath 有浸泡、沐浴 之意，体现出月光犹如少女 出浴之娇媚， 美不胜收，媚而不妖。而wash 仅有“清洗”之意，较 之于 bath，逊色不少。 (4)wrap：to cover sth completely in paper or other materials. 有“包 裹”之意，动作意味过于浓烈，置于此时安详、宁静的之氛围中，略 少几分贴切。而另一译本 catch 更显逊色。 二译本皆不如veil（a covering of

31、very thin transparent material， especially by women ，to protect or hide the face ）来的妙：动中有 静，其transparent“透明”之意正体现了月之澄澈，亦体现了圆月如娇 羞的女子般藏于面纱般的淡云之后，若隐若现。 虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云，所以不能朗照；但我以为这恰 是到了好处酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。 【 version】 although it is a full moon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its

32、brightest; it is, however, just right for me a profound sleep is indispensable, yet a snatched doze also has a savour of its own. 【 version】 though the moon was full, a film of pale clouds in the sky would not allow its rays to shine through brightly; but i felt this was all to the good though refre

33、shing sleep is indispensable, short naps have a charm all their own. analysis： (1) pale：not strong or bright （of a person，their face，etc）， 用pale 似有拟人之意味，此时之云淡风清，恍若人之病时而苍白 无力。用pale于此，恰到好处。 (2) “right for me” 与 “all to the good” 皆有“恰到好处”之意，但 比较而言，“right for me” 有最适合自己之意，而 “all to the good” 有与其他所有相比为最好

34、之意。 窃认为适合自己的才是最好的，right for me 体现了作者此时与 世无争、自由洒脱之逸。 (3) savour：a taste or smell ，especially a pleasant one . charm : a feature or quality that is pleasing or attractive . 从二词词义明显可以看出charm 一词更合适，小睡虽不及酣睡之 来得畅快淋漓，但亦有其特有的韵味，迷人之处亦不逊于酣睡。 体现了作者此时之顺其自然、随性而安的惬意。 月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳 的黑影，峭楞楞如鬼一般；弯弯的杨柳的稀

35、疏的倩影，却又 像是画在荷叶上。 【 version】the moonlight is streaming down through the foliage, casting bushy shadows on the ground from high above, dark and checkered, like an army of ghosts; whereas the benign figures of the drooping willows, here and there, look like paintings on the lotus leaves. 【 version】：as

36、the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves. analysis： (1)本句描写了哪两种树影的哪些特点？ 灌木参差的斑驳的黑影。“参差”是长短、高低、大小 不齐的意思。 “斑驳”的原意是指一种颜色中杂有别的颜色， 这里指影子深浅不一。 灌木株距密，枝

37、干不分明，所以用“参差”、“斑驳”写其 黑影，显示了黑影的长短不齐，浓淡相宜，描绘明确恰切， 给人以美感；杨柳稀疏的倩影，说明距宽，如改为“乱 七八糟”，则不能给人以美感。 因此朱和杨戴的译文中用的checkered都是正确合理的， checkered在牛津高阶英汉双解词典中的解释为：varied, with good and bad parts，也就是包含了参差和斑驳两种意思在里 面了。但从翻译的句子形式来说杨戴的译文更好。 (2)“黑影”、“倩影”形象准确地写出灌木丛和杨柳的不同形象； 这些影又像“画”在荷叶上，“画”字对表现这些特点有何作用？ 能否换为“印”字？为什么？ “画”，pain

38、t: make a picture using paints ; portray or represent sb. or sth. in paint,写出投在荷叶上的月影之真、之美，说明树影的 错落有致、浓淡和谐是恰到好处的，象是出自名画家之手，也让读 者更易联想和想象到荷塘月色的诗情画意。 而“印”,print: make letters, pictures etc on paper by pressing an inked surface against it,是一种机械的动作，没有回味的余地，也不 能透露作者的思想感情。 这里写“黑影”、“倩影”，但其实还是写月色，因为影是月光照 射在物

39、体上落下来的，树影明暗掩映，错落有致，反衬月光的轻盈 荡漾，把岸边树、塘中荷连结在一起，构成了美丽而繁杂的图案， 在其衬映下，使荷塘更显得风情绰约。 因此为了体现作者就像名画家一样画出了荷塘的韵味，这里用动词 paint比名词painting更加贴切，杨戴的更胜一筹。 塘中的月色并不均匀；但光与影有着和谐的旋律，如梵婀玲上奏着的 名曲。 【 version】the moonlight is not spread evenly over the pond, but rather in a harmonious rhythm of light and shade, like a famous me

40、lody played on a violin. 【 version】the moonlight on the pool was not uniform, but light and shadow made up a harmonious rhythm like a beautiful tune played on a violin. analysis： 本句运用比喻和通感的修辞格，本体月色；喻体名曲；相 似点：和谐；是视觉与听觉的互换。烘托出一种温馨、幽雅的氛围， 给我们以联想和想象，乃至带入一种幻境。 因此这里两篇译文用的harmonious：free from disagreement

41、or ill feeling; arranged together in a pleasing, orderly way都是可以的。 而这里的不均匀朱用的是evenly：in an even manner, 杨戴用的 是uniform: not changing in form or character; unvarying, 但这里的 “月色不均匀”是写荷塘上的月色明暗不一，“光与影有着和谐的旋 律”，是说月的光华与阴影的搭配恰到好处，十分协调，如同高低强 弱不同的单音组成了和谐的旋律。 因此这里不能用这两个单词，如果改用balanced: being in a state of prope

42、r balance or equilibrium会更好，更适合语境和作者想表达的意 思。但从翻译的句型和形式结构上说后者的翻译更好。 the sixth paragraph 荷塘的四面，远远近近，高高低低都是树，而杨柳最多。 【 version】 around the pond, far and near, high and low, are trees 【 version】 far and near, high and low around the pool were trees, analysis：they all use parallel; it is very common in th

43、e translation of essays. but i think the later is better than former, because it is clearer. the point of this essay is free, and the later description makes the tree outstanding. 这些树将一片荷塘重重围住；只在小路一旁，漏着几段空隙，像 是特为月光留下的。 【 version】 only on the path side can two or three gaps be seen through the heavy

44、fringe, as if specially reserved for the moon. 【 version】 these trees had the pool entirely hemmed in, the only small clearings left being those by the path, apparently intended for the moon. analysis：reserved for: to keep something for sb., so that it an not be used by any other person or for any o

45、ther reason intended for: planed or designed forhere reserved for is better than intended for, because the express of intension is stronger.” as if specially reserved for the moon” means it is only for the moon but not for any other reasons. 树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾；但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾；但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾

46、里也 辨得出。辨得出。 【 version】 the shadowy shapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into a mass of mist, against which, however, the charm of those willow trees is still discernible. 【 version】 all the trees were somber as dense smoke, but among them you could make out the luxuriant willows. analy

47、sis： (1) mist: a cloud of very small drops of water in the air just above the ground that makes it difficult to see. smoke：the grey, white or black gas that is produced by burning. here they all use metaphors, but mist is better than smoke, because mist is seems to be more mysterious, and at time th

48、ere could have mist. (2) discernible: the ability to show judgment about something. make out: to manage to see something here make out is more appropriate than discernible. because there is a mist we can not see it very clearly and need to have an effort, make out just have the function. 树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山，只有些大意罢了。树缝里也漏着树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山，只有些大意罢了。树缝里也漏着 一两点路灯光，没精打采的，是渴睡人的眼。这时候最热闹的，一两点路灯光，没精打采的，是渴睡人的眼。这时候最热闹的， 要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们的，我什么也没有。要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们的，我什么也没有。 【 ver