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1、Unit 10 Reflections on LifeA Diary of the CenturyHow do I feel upon becoming 50 years old? Surprised. Surprised that I should live so long. Surprised that it should seem so short. Surprised that I am not famous. Surprised that I should be surprised because I am not famous. All my life I have been mo
2、tivated by curiosity. I wonder why? My mother wasnt curious. Although my grandfather died before I was born, judging from what Ive heard about him, read about him, and from the books he left, I think it is possible that I inherited my curiosity from him. Born in England of Welsh parents, he came to
3、America alone when he was only 16 years old. At the age of 50 my mind is better than eversurprise, surprise! I can concentrate with the intensity of a beam of sunshine focused through a magnifying glass. Guilt and passion distract my attention far less frequently. Slowly I begin to perceive the rela
4、tionships among everything I have experienced and read. My analyses and judgments seem sounder than before. My curiosity burns brighter. Problems once mysterious now seem obvious. And yet! Every new answer breeds a dozen new questions. What I know, compared with what I do not know, is like a grain o
5、f sand by the sea. I am not sure whether there is anything absolute. While I believe I am alive, I am unable to say exactly what this phrase means. Maybe the atoms that make up my body now existed before I was born, and maybe they will continue to exist after I die. A few people consider me egotisti
6、cal. Actually, I am humble. I was lucky to have been born with a fairly good mind, and I have spent years polishing this instrument I inherited. Ill admit I become impatient when confronted with ignorance. However, I know my limitations even better than my capabilities. At times I feel discouraged b
7、y my own ignorance. I can find no meaning in life. I believe that the individual life can be filled with meaning only through love and work of ones choice. My wife is a more valuable person than I because she has an infinite capacity for loving others. She is a genius at loving. I am a genius at not
8、hing. When she dies an ocean of tears will flow. I admire her without envying her. When I was a boy of 14 I knew I wanted to become a reporter and then an author. Well, now I am an experienced reporter and next fall my first book will be published. The fact that I say first proves that I am optimist
9、ic about my career. I believe that the next decade of my life will become the most fruitful one. Perhaps my only really valuable creation is this diary. My 10 months of psychoanalysis have helped me learn how to forgive myself. Im more at peace with myself now than at any time in the past. Neverthel
10、ess, Im aware I havent identified all my psychological conflicts, let alone resolved them. Bertrand Russell says there are three major conflicts: 1) Man against his environment; 2) man against man; 3) man against himself. In my opinion, the conflict of man with himself is the most troublesome. Carve
11、d on the temple of Delphi was Know thyself. I think I know myself better than most people because I spend more time studying myself than anything else. A diarist is a writer who watches himself. If I can learn to know myself well, then Ill be able to know others as well. Human beings are more alike
12、than different. By paying close attention to whatever I feel and think, I can learn what others feel and think. Fortunately, it is the differences among people that make them interesting. Now that Ive got rid of much of my guilt, now that I am less rigid about what I expect from myself, I get along
13、better with others because I expect less from them, too. Life hurts. For years Ive realized Im an eccentric, without understanding exactly what I meant by this word. Now I know: An eccentric is one who insists upon being himself regardless of the opinion of others, provided he does not hurt them or
14、himself. If everyone in the world were as eccentric, meaning if everyone accepted himself, there would be no more war. Now that I have lived a half-century, do I have any regrets? Sure, I regret that I was slow to mature. I regret that I did not become a psychoanalyst. Although I am not sorry I deci
15、ded to become a journalist, I wish that early on I had chosen to become a therapist. Why? Because nothing interests me more than human nature. We are left with two frontiers. One is outer space. The other is inner space. While I lack the interest and ability to probe outer space, Im rather well equi
16、pped to probe the mysteries of the human mind. But will I be able to communicate them to others? My brother, an inventor with several patents, is perhaps the worlds leading expert about shock absorbers. But he and I cannot communicate about them. I have no technical knowledge of his specialty. He ca
17、nnot explain it in simple language. This is an example of the failure of communication between the specialist and the layman. This breakdown is spreading. It is as though nerve endings had lost touch with one another. For lack of communication we may come to the end of civilization. 世纪日记想想自己年已五十,感觉会
18、如何?惊奇。对自己活了那么久感到惊奇,对五十年一晃而过感到惊奇,对自己仍旧默默无闻感到惊奇,对惊异于自己的默默无闻感到惊奇。我这一生,求知欲一直促动着我。我也不知道为什么这样,因为我的母亲求知欲并不强。虽然我出生前外祖父就已经过世,但是从别人的谈论里,还有看到的关于他的故事,以及他留下来的书籍,我可以断定,我的求知欲有可能是从他那里遗传来的。外祖父出生在英国,父母都是威尔士人,他年仅十六岁就独自闯荡到美国。五十岁时,我的脑子比从前更好使,奇怪啊,真是太奇怪了!我可以注意力非常集中,其强度就好像用放大镜聚焦一束太阳光一样。因为歉疚或热情导致的分心远远不如以前那么频繁了。渐渐地,我对自己经历过或阅
19、读过的万物之间的关系也能开始理解了,分析和判断力也较以前更准确了,同时我的求知欲更强,曾经令人迷惑的问题也豁然开朗起来。但是,每个新的答案又会产生大量新问题,我们知道的知识和不知道的相比,简直就是沧海一粟。我没法确定世上有什么是绝对的,即便我相信自己还活着,但“活着”是什么意思,我也说不清。那些组成我身体的原子在我出生前就存在,在我死后也同样会继续存在。有些人会认为我很自我,其实不然,我是很谦卑的。我运气还算不错,出生时智力不错,这么多年来,我一直在磨练这项遗传来的工具。我承认,面对无知时我总是焦躁不安,但是,我了解自己的缺点更甚于对自己能力的了解。有时候,我会对自己的无知丧气。我找不到生活的
20、意义。我相信,只有通过表现爱心和选择自己的工作才能体现个人的生命意义所在。我的妻子就比我更有价值,因为她对他热门的关爱是无尽的,在这方面,她是天才。可是我却一无所长。以后她如果去世了,会有万千眼泪为她而流,我会因此而崇拜她,而不是嫉妒她。当我还是个14岁的孩子时,就像日后当名记者,继而成为一名作家。现在我已经是名资深记者,我的第一本书也将于明年秋出版。我说第一本书,是表明我对自己的事业前景非常乐观。我相信未来十年是我最多产的一段时间,可能我真正为一有价值的作品就是这本日记。十个月的心理分析帮我学会了如何体谅自己,我比以前任何时候都对自己更心平气和。但是,我意识到我还没有完全弄清自己的心理矛盾,
21、更别说解决这些矛盾了。波特兰罗素曾经说过有三种主要矛盾:1 人与环境,2 人与人,3 人与自己。在我看来,最后一对矛盾才是最棘手的。特尔斐神庙上刻着“认识你自己”。我想我比其它人更了解自己,因为我花在研究自己的时间要比花在别的事情上的时间要多。日记作家是个观察自己的作家。如果我能学会很好的了解自己,就可以更好地了解他人。人与人的相同之处要多与相异之处。多加注意的自己的感觉和想法,我就可以学会了解别人的感觉和想法。幸运的是,正式人们之间的差异使得人们非常有趣。因为我摆脱了很多愧疚感,对自己的期望野没有那么苛刻了,我何人相处时,也更融洽了,因为我对他们的期望也相对降低了。生活是痛苦。多年来,我一直
22、认为自己比较乖僻,其实这两个字确切的意思我自己也不太明白。但现在我明白了:一个人乖僻指的是只要不伤害到别人和自己,就坚持己见,不在乎他人的想法。如果世界上人人都这样乖僻,就是说,每个人都接受自己的话,那就不会有战争了。我已经50岁了,还有什么遗憾吗?那是当然。我很后悔自己成熟得那么晚。我后悔自己没能当一名精神分析专家。这倒不是说后悔当初决定当记者,但我还是希望我当时学则木讷当一名精神分析治疗师。为什么呢?因为我对人性最感兴趣。有两个领域还需探究。一是外空,另一个是人的内心。对于研究外层空间,我是既没兴趣也没有能力,但是,对于研究人的心灵奥秘,我还是很在行的。但是我没有能力将这些和他人交流吗?我
23、的兄弟是个发明家,拥有几项专利。他或许是世界上减震器方面最优秀的专家,但是我和他就无法就这个专业进行交流。我不懂他这个领域的技术知识,而他又不能三言两语解释得清楚。这就是一个专家和外行交流失败的例子。这种失败正在扩大。正如神经末梢失去了联系。如果人们自己缺乏交流,人类文明将面临终结。Age and YouthOn my last birthday I was ninety-three years old. That is not young, of course. In fact, it is older than ninety. But age is a relative matter. I
24、f you continue to work and to absorb the beauty in the world about you, you find that age does not necessarily mean getting old. At least, not in the ordinary sense. I feel many things more intensely than ever before, and for me life grows more fascinating. Not long ago my friend Sasha brought me a
25、letter addressed to me by a group of musicians in the Caucasus Mountains. This was the text of the letter: Dear Honourable Maestro I have the pleasure on behalf of the Georgian Caucasian Orchestra to invite you to conduct one of our concerts. You will be the first musician of your age who receives t
26、he distinction of conducting our orchestra. Never in the history of our orchestra have we permitted a man under one hundred years to conduct. All of the members of our orchestra are over one hundred years old. But we have heard of your talents as a conductor, and we feel that, despite your youthfuln
27、ess, an exception should be made in your case. We expect a favourable response as soon as possible. We pay travel expenses and of course shall provide living accommodations during your stay with us. Respectfully, Astan Shlarba President, 123 years old Sasha is a man with a sense of humour; he likes
28、to play a joke. That letter was one of his jokes; he had written it himself. But I must admit I took it seriously at first. And why? Because it did not seem to me unbelievable that there should be an orchestra composed of musicians older than a hundred. And, indeed, I was right! That portion of the
29、letter was not a joke. Sasha had read about it in the newspaper. He showed me the article, with photographs of the orchestra. There is such an orchestra in the Caucasus. All of its members were more than a hundred years old. There were about thirty of themthey rehearse regularly and give periodic co
30、ncerts. Most of them are farmers who continue to work in the fields. The oldest of the group, Astan Shlarba, is a tobacco grower who also trains horses. They are splendid-looking men, obviously full of vitality. I should like to hear them play sometimeand, in fact, to conduct them, if the opportunit
31、y arose. Of course I am not sure they would permit this, in view of my inadequate age. There is something to be learned from jokes, and it was so in this case. In spite of their age, those musicians have not lost their zest for life. How does one explain this? I do not think the answer lies simply i
32、n their physical constitutions or in something unique about the climate in which they live. It has to do with their attitude toward life; and I believe that their ability to work is largely due to the fact that they do work. Work helps prevent one from getting old. I, for one, cannot dream of retiri
33、ng. Not now or ever. Retire? The word is alien and the idea inconceivable to me. I dont believe in retirement for anyone in my type of work, not while the spirit remains. My work is my life. I cannot think of one without the other. To retire means to me to begin to die. The man who works and is neve
34、r bored is never old. Work and interest in worthwhile things are the best remedy for age. Each day I am reborn. Each day I must begin again. For the past eighty years I have started each day in the same manner. It is not a mechanical routine but something essential to my daily life. I go to the pian
35、o, and I play two preludes and fugues of Bach. I cannot think of doing otherwise. It is sort of a benediction on the house. But that is not its only meaning for me. It is a rediscovery of the world of which I have the job of being a part. It fills me with awareness of the wonder of life, with a feel
36、ing of the incredible marvel of being a human being. The music is never the same for me. Each day it is something new, fantastic and unbelievable. That is Bach, like nature, a miracle. I do not think a day passes in my life in which I fail to look with fresh amazement at the miracle of nature. It is
37、 there on every side. It can be simply a shadow on a mountainside, or a spiders web gleaming with dew, or sunlight on the leaves of a tree. I have always especially loved the sea. Whenever possible, I have lived by the sea. It has long been a custom of mine to walk along the beach each morning befor
38、e I start work. True, my walks are shorter than they used to be, but that does not lessen the wonder of the sea. How mysterious and beautiful is the sea! How infinitely variable! It is never the same, never, not from one moment to the next, always in the process of change, always becoming something
39、different and new. 年老和年轻上次生日我93岁,这个岁数当然不小了,实际上,已经90多了。但是,年龄是相对的。如果你一直工作,吸取世界的美好,你会发现,年老并不一定意味着衰老,至少不是寻常意义上的衰老。比起从前,我现在对很多事情的感悟深入多了,对我来说,生活越来越精彩。不久前,我的朋友萨沙带给我一封信,是住在高加索山脉的一群音乐家写给我的,内容如下:尊敬的大师阁下:我有幸代表格鲁吉亚高加索管弦乐团邀请您为我们指挥一场音乐会。您将成为同龄人中第一个指挥我们乐团的音乐家。在我团历史上,还从未允许过不到百岁的人出任指挥,所有的成员必须年满100。但是,我们对您指挥上的天赋有所耳闻,
40、虽然我们感觉您太年轻,还是决定为您破一次例。我们期盼您能尽快给予肯定答复。我们会支付差旅费,当然我们还会提供您在这里的食宿。 阿斯顿施拉伯 团长,123岁 萨拉很有幽默感,爱开玩笑,这封由他杜撰的信就是一个例子。不过我得承认,一开始,我还真当真了。为什么呢?因为在我看来,一个由百岁老人组成的乐团也不是不可信的。事实上,我是对的。信里那部份内容不是玩笑话。萨拉就曾经在报纸上看到过这个报导。他还给我也看过那篇文章,还附有乐团的照片。高加索地区的确有一个这样的乐团,一共三十多个成员都年过百岁。他们定期排练,定期举办音乐会。他们中大多数人是农民,还在田间耕作。团里最年长的是阿斯顿施拉伯,他是种植烟草的
41、,同时还驯养马匹。这些老人都神采奕奕,充满活力。我很想听他们演奏,事实上,如果有机会的话,我也想为他们指挥。当然,我不是很确定他们是否允许我这么做,因为我的年龄不够。 从玩笑里也可以学到点什么,这件事也的却如此。虽然年事已高,这些音乐家并没有失去对生活的热情。这该怎么解释呢?我认为这不是简单地归结于他们身体好,或者他们居住的地方气候独特,这与他们的生活态度有关,我坚信,他们的工作能力在很大程度上取决于他们还在工作这个事实。工作可以防止衰老。比如我就不会想着退休。现在不会,永远也不会。退休?这个词很陌生,这个念头也是我无法想象的。做我们这一行的,只要精神尚存,我就不相信退休这一说。工作就是我的生
42、命。我无法想象将二者分离。对我来说,退休就等于走向死亡。一个人如果工作并且从不厌倦工作的人是不会老的。治疗衰老的最佳方法就是工作,并却对有意义的事情保持兴趣。每天我都会新生,每天我都必须重新开始来过。 在过去的八十年里,我每天都是以同一种方式开始的。这不是机械的理性生活,而是对我日常生活非常重要的一点。我走到钢琴边,演奏两首巴赫的序曲和几首赋格曲。除此之外,我想不出我能怎样开始我的一天。这对我的家来说也算是种祝福。但对我来说,意义远非如此。它是我对这世界的重新认识,而我的工作就是要成为这世界的一部分。它使我领悟到生活的精彩,让我体会到做为人类是多么不可思议的美妙。这几只曲子对我来说是绝对不一样
43、的,每天都是崭新的、奇妙的。这就是巴赫的音乐,如同大自然,就是个奇迹。 生命中的每一天,我都是充满惊异地观察大自然的奇迹。这种奇迹充满每个角落。它可能仅仅是个山坡的阴影,可能是闪烁着露珠光泽的蜘蛛网,也可能是树叶上的阳光。我特别喜欢大海。只要可能,我就住在海边,每天早上工作之前沿着沙滩散步已经成为我多年的习惯。不错,现在我散步的距离可比从前短些了,但是大海的魅力并没有减少。大海真是太神秘、太美丽、太变幻无穷了。它从来都不会保持一致,每分每秒都处于变换当中,时刻变化。Let the Questions InI have a friend whose whole life plan consist
44、s of keeping questions at bay. Keep yourself surrounded by sound, Ed says. Always keep moving. When he is driving, he keeps the radio on in his car. When he walks in the house (he lives alone), he turns on the radio or the television. He never allows himself to be alone with himself. Drumming finger
45、s on the windowpane, its as if he senses a presence at the window. He doesnt like to go out into the country. He avoids the mountains, the wind, the quiet fields. They make him nervous. He likes to keep busy. A strange thing about life in Americait often seems designed to block our questioning. Its
46、so busy, it can rush us into death before weve ever had a chance to stop and think. We might never really stop to ask, Why? Life, Blaise Pascal wrote in an earlier era, is a search for continual diversion. That is, for distraction, for keeping the mind occupied with superficial things, for keeping o
47、ut the voices. Which voices? The voices that ask questions. What am I doing on this planet, with the hot sun resting on my face, the wind blowing through my hair? Where am I going? What am I trying to accomplish with my life? Why am I here? Human beings are thinking, question-asking animals. We cann
48、ot live like cats or dogs. We keep asking ourselves that simple question, Why? The questioning impulse in us is our deepest instinct. It is deeper even than the hunger for food. Deeper than the drive to sleep. This instinct to ask questions keeps intruding even during sleep. More than anything else,
49、 to live, you must pay attention to such questions and form some satisfactory answers to them. To truly live is to take charge of your liberties and decide what you intend to do with the short span of years that you are given. Bill, another friend of mine, was giving a lecture in Wisconsin some time
50、 ago in one of those little rural towns that hosts a branch of the state university. He went for a walk across the late October fields, just to be alone. Geese were flying against the gray clouds overhead. He could see his breath, it was so cold, and his feet crunched the frostbitten earth. Rows of
51、cornstalks lay withering as far as his eye could see, out to the woods. As dusk gathered in the dark shadows, my friend suddenly saw the story line of his lifethe way he had been livingsaw it as if it belonged to someone else, and he didnt like it. He felt autumn dying all around him. Bill knew he n
52、eeded a new start. In which direction, he didnt yet know. When he got back to his motel room to prepare his lecture, his heart was pounding. He has never forgotten that walk in the fields, where in the silence, a question awakened him. If that question had not arisen, he says, he might still be wher
53、e he was. It makes him shudder. Moments of questioning creep up on us. They are rare. We need to seize them. At such moments, a person may fix a goal, plot a course, or determine a whole life. Some thinkers call these defining momentstimes when we fill our whole lives with meaning, purpose, goals. T
54、he times when we take charge and dont merely drift with the tide. We all have such moments. Presidential candidates certainly have had them. We all have. William Wordsworth wrote of them: Not for these I raise The song of thanks and praise; But for those obstinate questionings Of sense of outward th
55、ings, Failings from us, vanishings . Even my friend Edwho keeps perpetually busy, perpetually surrounded by soundhas such moments. His answer, his decision, is just to keep moving, just to keep himself in sound, to drive out the questions. The unexamined life is not worth living, Socrates wrote some
56、 23 centuries ago. That is a harsh judgment on my friend and on all of us. Often we do not allow the questions to rise up to full height and meet us. We keep too busy to allow ourselves to take that long valuable look down the yearsbackward maybe, forward certainly. I have often found that air trave
57、l is the best time for doing that. It may not seem that I am doing anything. My mind isnt exactly working. And yet, in fact, the wonder of being alive sweeps over me. And its fragility. And the beauty of it. And the need to concentrate my energies. In any case, I always feel a sense of thankfulness, since to ex-sist (to stand forth out of nothingness, as the Latin roots of the word suggest) is to be receiving a moment-by-moment gift from God. Your own views, though, may be less religious. However diverse our perspectives, such moments of reflection have become too rare today. And yet the
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