情景作文爱与感恩篇

1、爱与感恩篇郭振芳 假设你是红星中学高三（1）班的学生李华。下面四幅图描述了上周六和好友爬西山时你受伤的故事。请根据图片的先后顺序，为校刊“英语园地”写一篇短文。 词数不少于60 假设你是红星中学高三（1）班的学生李华。下面四幅图描述了上周六和好友爬西山时你受伤的故事。请根据图片的先后顺序，为校刊“英语园地”写一篇短文。 词数不少于60审文字时态顺序字数人称注意是你受伤了文体要正式审图四幅图的先后顺序：四幅图的先后顺序：图图1： 爬山爬山 图图2： 山顶合影山顶合影图图3：途中受伤：途中受伤图图4：朋友背我下山：朋友背我下山 图图1 1内容要点及细节内容要点及细节要点set out 细节last

2、 Saturdaymy friends and I climb up the West Mountainsunny daywith high spiritslaughing and singingbeautiful view 要点细节 图图2 2内容要点及细节内容要点及细节 take photosmy friends and Ion the top of the mountaintired and exhausteddelightedtake photoswith different posesenjoy the beautiful scenery 图图3 3内容要点及细节内容要点及细节要点g

3、o downhill and get hurt细节time fliesits time to go downhill its more dificult to go downhelp each otherslip and hurt my legpain goes through my whole bodytry to stand up but fail to do so 图图4 4内容要点及细节内容要点及细节要点carry me on the back 细节 one of my friends realize what is happeningcarry me on his back with

4、out hesitationothers help him tears well upgrateful and proud 顺序要点细节支撑连接词picture 1set out my friends and I, climb up the West Mountain,sunny day, with high spirit, laughing and singing, beautiful view last Saturdaypicture 2take photosmy friends and I, on the top of the mountain, tired and exhausted,

5、 delighted, take photos with different poses, enjoy the beautiful sceneryhardly .whenpicture 3go downhill and get hurtits more dificult to go down, help each otherslip and hurt my leg, pain goes through my whole body , try to stand up but fail to do sotime flies and its time to go downhill therefore

6、picture 4carry me on the backone of my friends, realize what is happening, carry me on his back without hesitation, others help him, tears well up, grateful and proud at that moment阅卷过程中发现的问题阅卷过程中发现的问题 时间和地点不清 关键词错误 无升华 人称错 时态错 无多样的句型和丰富的词汇 无亮点Last Saturday, my friends and I went to climb the West M

7、ountain. While climbing, we enjoyed the sunny weather and a beautiful view. We were very delighted to reach the top without much time or effort. However, we found it more difficult to go down, so we went slowly and helped each other when necessary. Though I took care a lot, unfortunately I slipped a

8、nd hurt my leg badly and could hardly stood up. One of my friends came to me immediately and carried me on the back till we reached the foot of the mountain. I was very thankful and felt proud of having such good friends.请优化下面作文Last Saturday, my friends and I went to climb the West Mountain. In orde

9、r to relax ourselves and enjoy the nature my friends and I decided to climb the West Mountain, which made us all feel excited. While climbing, we enjoyed the sunny weather and a beautiful view. It was the early morning last Saturday that we set out with high spirits. Bathed in the sunshine, we were

10、singing and laughing all the way. Even the beautiful view was influenced by our laughter and became vivid and was filled with energy. We were very delighted to reach the top without much time or effort. Tired and exhausted, we were very delighted to reach the top after one- hour climbing. However, w

11、e found it more difficult to go down, so we went slowly and helped each other when necessary. Hardly had we reached the peak when we started breathing the freash air and enjoying the eye-cathing landscape. We were astonished to see the fantastic scenery as we were overlooking the panorama of the cit

12、y. Therefore, we took a great many photos with excitements and various poses in different angles. How time flied! Our trip was ended at sunset and we had to start going downhill. However, we found it more difficult to go down, so we went slowly and helped each other when necessary. Though I took car

13、e a lot, unfortunately I slipped and hurt my leg badly and could hardly stood up. The track leading to the foot of the mountain was so uneven and slippery that we had to take care a lot. Although I paid much attention to walking downhill, I still could not make it. All of a sundden, I lost my balanc

14、e and slipped and fell on a big rock. A sharp pain went my whole body immediately so I could not help ouching out. I spare no effort to stand up, but unfortunately I hurt my leg badly and I failed to do so. One of my friends came to me immediately and carried me on the back till we reached the foot

15、of the mountain. At that moment, one of my friends realized what was happening and anxiouly asked me whether I was all right. Seeing my sweats rolling down from my cheek, he carried me on his back without hestation. Other friends all concerned about me a lot and helped him with the carrying. What mo

16、oded me most was they carried me all the way utill we reached the foot of the mountain. I was very thankful and felt proud of having such good friends. On his back I felt my tears welled up not because of the pain but the friendship. I was very grateful to them and meanwhile I was so proud of having

17、 good friends. I would cherish our friendship forever. In order to relax ourselves and enjoy the nature, my friends and I decided to climb the West Mountain, which made us all feel excited. It was the early morning last Saturday that we set out with high spirits. Bathed in the sunshine, we were sing

18、ing and laughing all the way. Even the beautiful view was influenced by our laughter and happiness, so it became more vivid and was filled with energy. Tired and exhausted, we were very delighted to reach the top after one- hour climbing. Hardly had we reached the peak when we started breathing the

19、freash air and enjoying the eye-cathing landscape. We were astonished to see the fantastic scenery as we were overlooking the panorama of the city. Therefore, we took a great many photos with excitements and virous poses in different angles. How time flied! Our trip was ended at sunset and we had to start going downhill. However, we found it more difficult to go down, so we went slowly and helped each other when necessary.The track was quite uneven and slippery. Though I took care a lot, all of a sundden I slipped and fell. Unfortunately, my leg was hurt badly. The pain went