一个加拿大人在瑞士居住的感受伸手向你要钱的乞丐都是说5门外语

1、1/ 5这是之前国外比较火的一篇由一个居住在瑞士的加拿大人写的吐槽文，甚 至网上后来还衍生了一个词“ Mother Fucki ng Swis 麻痹瑞。瑞士人奇葩一般的存在着。“I have an acronym for situations like th-isMother Fucking Swiss. I love/hate thesepeople.我对瑞士人有一个缩写-麻痹瑞。我心里同时喜欢/讨厌这些人。You park a bit crooked, but still inside the lines, and the neighbors call the police? MFS 你停

2、车停得有点歪一一但还是在线里，然后下一秒，邻居就叫来了 警察！麻痹瑞。Youre training for a triathlon, cycling top speed, and get passed by a man in a suit on amountainbike? MFS你在训练三项全能，骑车到最高速的时候，旁边一个穿着西装去上班的男 人骑着自行车轻松超过你。麻痹瑞。A (rare) homeless man hits you up for change, and it turns out that he speaks 5 Ian guages?MFS个流浪汉(极其罕见)向你讨要零钱

3、，然后你发现他会五国语 言。麻痹瑞。Youremeetingfriendsinastrangetownandyourphonedies,soyouaskinbarsandhotelswhetheryoucanusetheirs,andeverysinglepersonlooksatyoulikeanalien;theycantevencomprehend the level of disorganization that would result in an unexpectedly dead phone, andallrefuse you help, thinking it must be

4、some kind of trick? MFS你和你朋友约在一个陌生的地方见面，但是你的手机没电了，如果你进去 某个酒吧或者酒店里问他们是否能让你打个电话，他们会用看外星人的眼光看 着你他们无法想象一个人生活居然可以这么没有计划，连手机没电这种事 情都没预先计划好。然后就拒绝借用电话。麻痹瑞。Youre applying for an apartment with a garden, and ask if you can plant in it too. You know,sometomatoes,apumpkin,whatever.TheCorbusier-lookingmother*ers

5、uckshisteethandthenfinally says perhaps. if you can prove geometricallythat these plants would be elegant additionsto the overall theme of the space.MMMFFFFSSSS2/ 5你租个一个带花园的房子，问你的房东是否可以在后院里种些南瓜，西红 柿什么的，她会说。可以吧，如果你能证明这些东西长成后不会破坏总体的空间和外观和谐 度。麻麻麻麻痹瑞。Climbingaterrifyingridgeandgetpassedbyaheavilypregnan

6、twoman,annoyedatyourslowness. MFS攀登的时候被一个挺着大肚子的孕妇超过，脸上还带着一副对你慢动作的 鄙视和厌烦。麻痹瑞。Fire needs to be lit / shed needs to be built / any physical task needs to be done properly?Ask theCanadian. MFS火得是点亮的，棚子得是搭好的，所有事情要按规律按秩序做好。麻痹 瑞。Thebarclosesat12:00.At11:55thebartenderannounceslastcall,at11:59:59thelastpatr

7、onleaves the door, and at12:00:01 the police appear. MFS酒吧 12 点关门， 11 点 55 分的时候酒吧会提醒说最后一次点酒， 11 点 59 分 59 秒的时候最后一个顾客离开， 12 点 01 分的时候如果还不关门警察就出 现。麻痹瑞。Youhikeuptoahighalpinecabin.Theother(swiss)climbers,inperfectunison,andwithouttalking about it, sit down to eat, consume their bread, soup, and cheese

8、in the same order,starttheir ovomaltine together, finish at the same time, go in shifts to brush their teeth, and, intotalsynchronicity hit the sack at precisely 10:00. The next day, without alarms, every personsteps outofbedat6:00,eatsbreakfast,andisgoneby7:00.Youhangoutuntilnoontosoakuptheincredib

9、le scenery and the sole staff member subtly mocks your hiking plans with his eyebrowandtone. Ze col de la Forcla in zose boots!? MFS你和其他瑞士人一起去骑行，他们在度假屋休息吃饭的时候，很有默契的 完全一句话没说就各自坐好，然后点了一样的面包，汤还有芝士。然后一起同 时吃完，轮流有序去刷牙， 10点准时上床睡觉。第二天全部 6 点准时起床，吃 早餐，然后 7 点全走了。你睡过头了一直睡到中午，度假屋工作人员还会用眉 毛和语调嘲笑你的骑行计划。麻痹瑞。You: We

10、 should get moving if were going to catch that train. MFS: What? Why? The train3/ 5leavesin 13 minutes and its only a 7 minute walk, or 9.5 if you stop to buy cigarettes.你：我们要快点走了，不然赶不及火车。麻痹瑞：为啥？火车 13 分钟后才会开，我们走路 7 分钟就到了，即使你停 下买包香烟，那也才 9 分半钟。Hey, can I talk to you about a trip to Canada in January?

11、You: Ok, its a bit early for flightsandstuff but it pays to think in advance I suppose. wait. January of whatyear? MFS: 2015 麻. 痹瑞：我可以和你谈谈一月的时候去加拿大旅游的事吗？你：现在订机票还有点早，不过早点付款也不错的。等等 是哪年的 一月？麻痹瑞：2015 年(文章发表于两年前)Swiss boss: Lets meet at the hotel in Munich (300 km away) at 8:25 pm. And we did.麻痹瑞老板：我们早上

12、8 点 25 分在德国慕尼黑(距离 300 公里)的酒店碰 面吧。然后真的准时到达。Youbuysomelard(smokedbacon,meanttobeeatenuncooked)atthefarmersmarket.Itsgoodraw,butyouwanttotryitfried.Yourco- workersmellsitfromhisoffice,suspectswhatyoureup to, and bursts into the kitchen yelling You cannot DO zis! MFS你在农产品市场里买了一些熏肉，可以生吃的，但你想试试炒一下。你的 同事闻到

13、了气味然后报警，警察冲进你的厨房制止你：你不能这么做！麻痹 瑞。The used bike is 485 francs. I offer 400. Long stare. My price, I think, reflects the actualqualityof the frame, components, and labor. MFS二手车价格 485 法郎，你还价 400。麻痹瑞： “我的这个价格，我觉得，体 现了车的材料，设计工艺和劳力价格，所以是合理的 ”。麻痹瑞。 Im from Canada, have you been? Oh,on a small trip, I spent

14、 one month by bicycle inQuebec,andthenboughtamotorhomeanddrovetovancouver-whatalongdrive!Ilovedtheopenprairies - and then sold the motorhome and spent the next weeksskii ng. Whistler was nice but Iprefer Cham onix for the apreTell me, is the climbing in Squamish as good as theysay? And how do you co

15、mpare Big White4/ 5with Whistler? And do you prefer New York, Montreal,or San Francisco? I found things to loveabout each place. I.I, uh, Ive never been to any ofthose places.MFS“我来自加拿大，你去过加拿大了吗？ ”麻痹瑞： “额。只去过一小段时间呢。我用了一个月在魁北克省（加拿大 地点，下同）骑行，然后买了个房车开着去温哥华，开了很久！我喜欢沿途的 草原。然后我卖了房车，花了一个星期去滑雪。惠斯勒是不错但我还是更喜欢 霞慕尼的滑雪文化。对了，在斯阔米什登山真的像他们说的那么好玩吗？大白 山滑雪度假村和惠斯勒比哪个更好？那你喜欢纽约， 蒙特利尔，还是旧金山？ 每个地方我都有喜欢之处。 ”“。我没有去过这些地方 ”。麻痹瑞。People on the train begin to grumble and get exasperat