坚小持-精品课讲义合辑原著精读day10

1、October 15, 2017Turn victimo actors. If you noticet youre talking about yourself as aninnocent victim (and you werent held up at gunpo), ask:Am I pretending not to notice my rolehe problem?This question jars youo facing up the factt maybe, just maybe, you didsomething to help cause the problem. Inst

2、ead of being a victim, you were an actor.This doesnt nesarily mean you had malicious motives. Perhaps your contributionwas merely a thoughtless omis. Nonetheless, you contributed.For exle, a coworker constantly leaves the harder or noxious tasks for you tocomplete. Youve frequently complained to fri

3、ends and loved ones about beingexploited. The parts you leave out of the story aret you sbroadly when yours compliments you for your willingness to take on challenging jobs, and youvenever said anything to your coworker. Youve hed, butts about it.Thestep inling the rest of this story would be to add

4、 these importantfacts to your account. By asking what role youve played, you bego realize howselective your perception has been. Youe aware of how youve minimizedyour own mistakes while youve exaggerated the role of others.Turn villains to humans. When you find yourself labeling or otherwise vilifyi

5、ng others, stop and ask:Why would a reasonable, rational, and decentng?do what thisisThis particular question humanizes others. As we search for plausible answers to it,our emotions soften. Empathy often replajudgment, and depending upon howweve treated others,al accountability replaself-justificati

6、on.For instance,told you recentlyt coworker who seems to conveniently miss out on the tough jobst she could see you were struggling win important assignment,and yesterday (while you were tied up on the pressing task), she pitched in and completed the job for you. You were instantly suspicious. She w

7、as trying to make youlook bad by completing a high-profile job. How dare she pretend to be helpful whenher real goal was to discredit you while tooting her own horn! Well,youve told yourself.ts the storyBut what if she really were a reasonable, rational, and decent? What if shehad no motive othern t

8、o give you a hand? Isnt it a bit early to be vilifying her?And if you do, dont you run the risk of ruining the relationship? Might you go offhalf-cocked, accuse her and then learn you were wrong?Our pure for asking why a reasonable, rational, and decentmight beacting a certain way is not to excuse o

9、thers for any bad things they may beng. Ifthey are, guilty, well have time to deal witht later. The pure of thehumanizing question is to deal with our own stories and emotions. It provides us withstill another tool for working on ourselvesby providing a variety ofsiblereasons for the othersons behav

10、ior.In fact, with experience and maturity we learn to worry less about othersentheand more about the effect otherions are having on us. No longer are wegame of rooting out unhealthy motives. And heres the good news. When we reflecton alternative motives, not only do we soften our emotions, but equal

11、ly important, werelax our absolute certay long enough to allow for dialoguethe only reliable wayof discovering others genuine motives.Key words & phrases受害者n. 在枪口下，被拿枪指着1)2)3)4)5)6)7)8)9)10)11)12)13)14)15)16)17)18)19)an innocent victimheld up at gunpong something使做某事adj. 邪恶的，有敌意的jaromaliciousn. 不的疏忽

12、遗漏省略a thoughtless omisadj. 有害的，令人讨厌的v. 剥削noxiousexploitcomplimentv./n. 恭维，表扬v./n. 暗示，提示hv. 夸大，夸张，人物于exaggeratevillainlabel vilifyn.贴v.v.中伤，诽谤adj. 赋予人性，变为有人性 （humanized management） adj. 貌似合理的v. 移情，共鸣humanizeplausible empathymiss out on 将遗漏tied up on在上忙得不可开交pitch in参与，协力a high-profile job一份倍受关注的工作toot ones own horn吹响自己的喇叭，自吹自擂20)21)22)go off half-cocked （= go olf cock）草率、莽撞行事Exercises （请完成下面练习，并打卡）Please complete the following sentenfrom above.using the words or phrasesGive my to your lovely wife when you write home.写