Liar´s Poker 说谎者的扑克牌 英文版

PagePAGE2ofNUMPAGES100Liar'sPokerByMichaelLewisIPrefaceIWASABONDsalesman,onWallStreetandinLondon.WorkingbesidetradersatSalomonBrothersputme,Ibelieve,attheepicenterofoneofthoseeventsthathelptodefineanage.Tradersaremastersofthequickkilling,andalotofthekillingsinthepasttenyearsorsohavebeenquick.AndSalomonBrotherswasindisputablythekingoftraders.WhatIhavetriedtodohere,without,asitwere,leavingmyseatontheSalomontradingfloor,istodescribeandexplaintheeventsandtheattitudesthatcharacterizedtheera;thestoryoccasionallytailsawayfromme,butitisnonethelessmystorythroughout.ThemoneyIdidnotmakeandtheliesIdidnottellIstillunderstoodinapersonalwaybecauseofmyposition.Thatwassomewherenearthecenterofamoderngoldrush.Neverbeforehavesomanyunskilledtwenty-four-year-oldsmadesomuchmoneyinsolittletimeaswedidthisdecadeinNewYorkandLondon.Therehasneverbeforebeensuchafantasticexceptiontotheruleofthemarketplacethatonetakesoutnomorethanoneputsin.NowIdonotobjecttomoney.Igenerallywouldratherhavemorethanless.ButI'mnotholdingmybreathwaitingforanotherwindfallWhathappenedwasarareandamazingglitchinthefairlypredictablehistoryofgettingandspending.ItshouldbesaidthatIwas,bythestandardsweusetomeasureourselves,asuccess.Imadealotofmoney.IwastoldoftenbypeoplewhoranourfirmthatIwouldonedayjointhematthetop.Iwouldrathernotmakethisboastearly.ButthereaderneedstoknowthatIhavebeengivennoreasontofeelbitterlytowardorestrangedfrommyformeremployer.IsetouttowritethisbookonlybecauseIthoughtitwouldbebettertotellthestorythantogoonlivingthestory.70PrefaceAcknowledgmentsTHEAUTHORwishestothankMichaelKinsleyandTheNewRepublic,StephenFayandBusiness,StarlingLawrenceandW.W.Norton,IonTrewinandHodder&Stoughton,allofwhomgaveguidanceandpaidontime.AlsoRobertDucasandDavidSoskinforintelligentadvice.Finally,hewishestothankhisparents,DianaandTomLewis.Theyare,ofcourse,directlyresponsibleforanyerrors,sins,oromissionsherein.Liar'sPoker"WallStreet,"readsthesinisteroldgag,"isastreetwithariveratoneendandagraveyardattheother."Thisisstriking,butincomplete.Itomitsthekindergarteninthemiddle.-FrederickSchwed,Jr.,WhereAretheCustomers'Yachts?IChapterOneLiarsPokerITWASsometimeearlyin1986,thefirstyearofthedeclineofmyfirm,SalomonBrothers.Ourchairman,JohnGutfreund,lefthisdeskattheheadofthetradingfloorandwentforawalk.Atanygivenmomentonthetradingfloorbillionsofdollarswerebeingriskedbybondtraders.Gutfreundtookthepulseoftheplacebysimplywanderingarounditandaskingquestionsofthetraders.Aneeriesixthsenseguidedhimtowhereveracrisiswasunfolding.Gutfreundseemedabletosmellmoneybeinglost.Hewasthelastpersonanerve-rackedtraderwantedtosee.Gutfreund(pronouncedGoodfriend)likedtosneakupfrombehindandsurpriseyou.Thiswasfunforhimbutnotforyou.Busyontwophonesatoncetryingtostemdisaster,youhadnotimetoturnandlook.Youdidn'tneedto.Youfelthim.Theareaaroundyoubegantoconvulselikeanepilepticward.Peoplewerepretendingtobefranticallybusyandatthesametimestaringintentlyataspotdirectlyaboveyourhead.YoufeltachillinyourbonesthatIimaginebelongstothesameclassofintelligenceasthenervoustwitchofasmallfurryanimalatthesilentapproachofagrizzlybear.Analarmshriekedinyourhead:Gutfreund!Gutfreund!Gutfreund!Oftenasnot,ourchairmanjusthoveredquietlyforabit,thenleft.Youmightneverhaveseenhim.TheonlytraceIfoundofhimontwooftheseoccasionswasaturd-likeashonthefloorbesidemychair,left,Isuppose,asacallingcard.Gutfreund'scigardroppingswerelongerandbetterformedthanthoseoftheaverageSalomonboss.Ialwaysassumedthathesmokedamoreexpensiveblendthantherest,purchasedwithafewofthe$40millionhehadclearedonthesaleofSalomonBrothersin1981(orafewofthe$3.1millionhepaidhimselfin1986,morethananyotherWallStreetCEO).Thisdayin1986,however,Gutfreunddidsomethingstrange.Insteadofterrifyingusall,hewalkedastraightlinetothetradingdeskofJohnMeriwether,amemberoftheboardofSalomonInc.andalsooneofSalomon'sfinestbondtraders.Hewhisperedafewwords.Thetradersinthevicinityeavesdropped.WhatGutfreundsaidhasbecomealegendatSalomonBrothersandavisceralpartofitscorporateidentity.Hesaid:"Onehand,onemilliondollars,notears."Onehand,onemilliondollars,notears.Meriwethergrabbedthemeaninginstantly.TheKingofWallStreet,asBusinessWeekhaddubbedGutfreund,wantedtoplayasinglehandofagamecalledLiar'sPokerforamilliondollars.HeplayedthegamemostafternoonswithMeriwetherandthesixyoungbondarbitragetraderswhoworkedforMeriwetherandwasusuallyskinnedalive.SometraderssaidGutfreundwasheavilyoutmatched.Otherswhocouldn'timagineJohnGutfreundasanythingbutomnipotent-andthereweremany梥aidthatlosingsuitedhispurpose,thoughexactlywhatthatmightbewasamystery.ThepeculiarfeatureofGutfreund'schallengethistimewasthesizeofthestake.Normallyhisbetsdidn'texceedafewhundreddollars.Amillionwasunheardof.Thefinaltwowordsofhischallenge,"notears,"meantthattheloserwasexpectedtosufferagreatdealofpainbutwasn'tentitledtowhine,bitch,ormoanaboutit.He'djusthavetohunkerdownandkeephispovertytohimself.Butwhy?YoumightaskifyouwereanyoneotherthantheKingofWallStreet.Whydoitinthefirstplace?Why,inparticular,challengeMeriwetherinsteadofsomelessermanagingdirector?Itseemedanactofsheerlunacy.MeriwetherwastheKingoftheGame,theLiar'sPokerchampionoftheSalomonBrotherstradingfloor.Ontheotherhand,onethingyoulearnonatradingflooristhatwinnerslikeGutfreundalwayshavesomereasonforwhattheydo;itmightnotbethebestofreasons,butatleasttheyhaveaconceptinmind.IwasnotprivytoGutfreund'sinnermostthoughts,butIdoknowthatalltheboysonthetradingfloorgambledandthathewantedbadlytobeoneoftheboys.WhatIthinkGutfreundhadinmindinthisinstancewasadesiretoshowhiscourage,liketheboywholeapsfromthehighdive.WhobetterthanMeriwetherforthepurpose?Besides,Meriwetherwasprobablytheonlytraderwithboththecashandthenervetoplay.Thewholeabsurdsituationneedsputtingintocontext.JohnMeriwetherhad,inthecourseofhiscareer,madehundredsofmillionsofdollarsforSalomonBrothers.Hehadanability,rareamongpeopleandtreasuredbytraders,tohidehisstateofmind.Mosttradersdivulgewhethertheyaremakingorlosingmoneybythewaytheyspeakormove.Theyareeitheroverlyeasyoroverlytense.WithMeriwetheryoucouldnever,evertell.Heworethesameblankhalf-tenseexpressionwhenhewonashedidwhenhelost.Hehad,Ithink,aprofoundabilitytocontrolthetwoemotionsthatcommonlydestroytraders梖earandgreed梐nditmadehimasnobleasamanwhopursueshisself-interestsofiercelycanbe.HewasthoughtbymanywithinSalomontobethebestbondtraderonWallStreet.AroundSalomonnotonebutawewasusedwhenhewasdiscussed.Peoplewouldsay,"He'sthebestbusinessmanintheplace,"or"thebestrisktakerIhaveeverseen,"or"averydangerousLiar'sPokerplayer."Meriwethercastaspellovertheyoungtraderswhoworkedforhim.Hisboysrangedinagefromtwenty-fivetothirty-two(hewasaboutforty).MostofthemhadPh.D.'sinmath,economics,and/orphysics.OncetheygotontoMeriwether'stradingdesk,however,theyforgottheyweresupposedtobedetachedintellectuals.Theybecamedisciples.TheybecameobsessedbythegameofLiar'sPoker.Theyregardeditastheirgame.Andtheytookittoanewlevelofseriousness.JohnGutfreundwasalwaystheoutsiderintheirgame.ThatBusinessWeekputhispictureonthecoverandcalledhimtheKingofWallStreetheldlittlesignificanceforthem.Imean,thatwas,inaway,thewholepoint.GutfreundwastheKingofWallStreet,butMeriwetherwasKingoftheGame.WhenGutfreundhadbeencrownedbythegentlemenofthepress,youcouldalmostheartradersthinking:Foolishnamesandfoolishfacesoftenappearinpublicplaces.Fairenough,Gutfreundhadoncebeenatrader,butthatwasasrelevantasanoldwoman'sclaimthatshewasoncequiteadish.AttimesGutfreundhimselfseemedtoagree.Helovedtotrade.Comparedwithmanaging,tradingwasadmirablydirect.Youmadeyourbetsandeitheryouwonoryoulost.Whenyouwon,people梐llthewayuptothetopofthefirm梐dmiredyou,enviedyou,andfearedyou,andwithreason:Youcontrolledtheloot.Whenyoumanagedafirm,well,sureyoureceivedyourquotaofenvy,fear,andadmiration.Butforallthewrongreasons.VoudidnotmakethemoneyforSalomon.Youdidnottakerisk.Youwerehostagetoyourproducers.Theytookrisk.Theyprovedtheirsuperiorityeverydaybyhandlingriskbetterthantherestoftherisk-takingworld.ThemoneycamefromrisktakerssuchasMeriwether,andwhetheritcameornotwasreallybeyondGutfreund'scontrol.That'swhymanypeoplethoughtthatthesinglerashactofchallengingthearbitragebosstoonehandforamilliondollarswasGutfreund'swayofshowinghewasaplayer,too.Andifyouwantedtoshowoff,Liar'sPokerwastheonlywaytogo.Thegamehadapowerfulmeaningfortraders.PeoplelikeJohnMeriwetherbelievedthatLiar'sPokerhadalotincommonwithbondtrading.Ittestedatrader'scharacter.Ithonedatrader'sinstincts.Agoodplayermadeagoodtrader,andviceversa.Weallunderstoodit.TheGame:InLiar'sPokeragroupofpeople梐sfewastwo,asmanyasten梖ormacircle.Eachplayerholdsadollarbillclosetohischest.ThegameissimilarinspirittothecardgameknownasIDoubtIt.Eachplayerattemptstofooltheothersabouttheserialnumbersprintedonthefaceofhisdollarbill.Onetraderbeginsbymaking"abid."Hesays,forexample,"Threesixes."Hemeansthatalltoldtheserialnumbersofthedollarbillsheldbyeveryplayer,includinghimself,containatleastthreesixes.Oncethefirstbidhasbeenmade,thegamemovesclockwiseinthecircle.Let'ssaythebidisthreesixes.Theplayertotheleftofthebiddercandooneoftwothings.Hecanbidhigher(therearetwosortsofhigherbids:thesamequantityofahighernumber[threesevens,eights,ornines]andmoreofanynumber[fourfives,forinstance]).Orhecan"challenge"梩hatislikesaying,"Idoubtit."Thebiddingescalatesuntilalltheotherplayersagreetochallengeasingleplayer'sbid.Then,andonlythen,dotheplayersrevealtheirserialnumbersanddeterminewhoisbluffingwhom.Inthemidstofallthis,themindofagoodplayerspinswithprobabilities.Whatisthestatisticallikelihoodoftherebeingthreesixeswithinabatchof,say,fortyrandomlygeneratedserialnumbers?Foragreatplayer,however,themathistheeasypartofthegame.Thehardpartisreadingthefacesoftheotherplayers.Thecomplexityariseswhenallplayersknowhowtobluffanddouble-bluff.Thegamehassomeofthefeeloftrading,justasjoustinghassomeofthefeelofwar.ThequestionsaLiar'sPokerplayeraskshimselfare,uptoapoint,thesamequestionsabondtraderaskshimself.Isthisasmartrisk?DoIfeellucky?Howcunningismyopponent?Doeshehaveanyideawhathe'sdoing,andifnot,howdoIexploithisignorance?Ifhebidshigh,ishebluffing,ordoesheactuallyholdastronghand?Ishetryingtoinducemetomakeafoolishbid,ordoesheactuallyhavefourofakindhimself?Eachplayerseeksweakness,predictability,andpatternintheothersandseekstoavoiditinhimself.ThebondtradersofGoldman,Sachs,FirstBoston,MorganStanley,MerrillLynch,andotherWallStreetfirmsallplaysomeversionofLiar'sPoker.Buttheplacewherethestakesrunhighest,thankstoJohnMeriwether,istheNewYorkbondtradingfloorofSalomonBrothers.ThecodeoftheLiar'sPokerplayerwassomethinglikethecodeofthegunslinger.Itrequiredatradertoacceptallchallenges.Becauseofthecode梬hichwashiscode桱ohnMeriwetherfeltobligedtoplay.Butheknewitwasstupid.Forhim,therewasnoupside.Ifhewon,heupsetGutfreund.Nogoodcameofthis.Butifhelost,hewasoutofpocketamillionbucks.Thiswasworsethanupsettingtheboss.AlthoughMeriwetherwasbyfarthebetterplayerofthegame,inasinglehandanythingcouldhappen.Luckcouldverywelldeterminetheoutcome.Meriwetherspenthisentiredayavoidingdumbbets,andhewasn'tabouttoacceptthisone."No,John,"hesaid,"ifwe'regoingtoplayforthosekindofnumbers,I'dratherplayforrealmoney.Tenmilliondollars.Notears."Tenmilliondollars.Itwasamomentforallplayerstosavor.MeriwetherwasplayingLiar'sPokerbeforethegameevenstarted.Hewasbluffing.Gutfreundconsideredthecounterproposal.Itwouldhavebeenjustlikehimtoaccept.Merelytoentertainthethoughtwasaluxurythatmusthavepleasedhimwell.(Itwasgoodtoberich.)Ontheotherhand,tenmilliondollarswas,andis,alotofmoney.IfGutfreundlost,he'dhaveonlythirtymillionorsoleft.Hiswife,Susan,wasbusyspendingthebetterpartoffifteenmilliondollarsredecoratingtheirManhattanapartment(Meriwetherknewthis).AndasGutfreundwastheboss,heclearlywasn'tboundbytheMeriwethercode.Whoknows?Maybehedidn'tevenknowtheMeriwethercode.MaybethewholepointofhischallengewastojudgeMeriwether'sresponse.(EvenGutfreundhadtomarvelatthekinginaction.)SoGutfreunddeclined.Infact,hesmiledhisownbrandofforcedsmileandsaid,"You'recrazy."No,thoughtMeriwether,justvery,verygood.ChapterTwoNeverMentionMoneyIwanttobeaninvestmentbankerIfyouhad10,000sheres[sic]Isellthemforyou.Imakealotofmoney.Iwilllikemyjobvery,verymuch1willhelppeopleIwillbeamillionaireIwillhaveabighouseItwillbefunforme桽even-year-oldMinnesotaschoolboy,"WhatIWanttoBeWhenIGrowUp,"datedMarch1985IWASLIVINGinLondoninthewinterof1984,finishingamaster'sdegreeineconomicsattheLondonSchoolofEconomics,whenIreceivedaninvitationtodinewiththequeenmother.Itcamethroughadistantcousinofminewho,yearsbefore,andsomewhatimprobably,hadmarriedaGermanbaron.ThoughIwasnotthesortofpersonregularlyinvitedtodineatSt.James'sPalace,thebaroness,happily,was.Irentedablacktie,boardedthetube,andwent.Thiseventwasthefirstlinkinachainofimprobabilities,culminatinginajobofferfromSalomonBrothers.WhathadbeenadvertisedasacloseencounterwithBritishroyaltyprovedtobeafundraiserwithsevenoreighthundredinsurancesalesmen.WefannedoutacrosstheGreatHallindarkwoodenchairsonwineredcarpetsbeneathsootyportraitsoftheroyalfamily,asifauditioningtobeextrason"MasterpieceTheatre."SomewhereintheGreatHall,asluckwouldhaveit,weretwomanagingdirectorsfromSalomonBrothers.Iknewthisonlybecause,asluckwouldfurtherhaveit,Iwasseatedbetweentheirwives.ThewifeofthemoreseniorSalomonBrothersmanagingdirector,anAmerican,tookourtablefirmlyinhand,oncewe'dfinishedcraningourneckstosnatchaglimpseofBritishroyalty.WhenshelearnedthatIwaspreparingtoenterthejobmarketandwasconsideringinvestmentbanking,sheturnedtheeveningintoaninterview.Sheprodded,quizzed,needled,andunsettledmeforaboutanhouruntilfinallyshestopped,satisfied.Havingexaminedwhatgoodhadcomefrommytwenty-fouryearsonearth,sheaskedwhyIdidn'tcomeandworkontheSalomonBrotherstradingfloor.Itriedtokeepcalm.IwasafraidthatifIappearedtooeager,itmightdawnonthewomanshehadmadeaterriblemistake.IhadrecentlyreadJohnGutfreund'snowlegendarycommentthattosucceedontheSalomonBrotherstradingfloorapersonhadtowakeupeachmorning"readytobitetheassoffabear."That,Isaid,didn'tsoundlikemuchfun.Iexplainedtohermynotionofwhatlifeshouldbelikeinsideaninvestmentbank.(Thedescriptionincludedabigglassoffice,asecretary,alargeexpenseaccount,andlotsofmeetingswithcaptainsofindustry.ThisoccupationdoesexistwithinSalomonBrothers,butitisnotrespected.Itiscalledcorporatefinance.Itisdifferentfromsalesandtrading,thoughbotharegenerallyreferredtoasinvestmentbanking.Gutfreund'stradingfloor,wherestocksandbondsareboughtandsold,istherough-and-tumblecenterofmoneymakingandrisktaking.Tradershavenosecretaries,offices,ormeetingswithcaptainsofindustry.Corporatefinance,whichservicesthecorporationsandgovernmentsthatborrowmoney,andthatareknownas"clients,"is,bycomparison,arefinedandunworldlyplace.Becausetheydon'triskmoney,corporatefinanciersareconsideredwimpsbytraders.ByanystandardsotherthanthoseofWallStreet,however,corporatefinanceisstillajunglefullofchest-poundingmales).TheladyfromSalomonfellsilentattheendofmylittlespeech.Then,inabreath,shesaidlimp-wristed,overlygroomedfellowsonsmallsalariesworkedincorporatefinance.Wherewasmychutzpah?DidIwanttositinanofficeallday?WhatwasI梥omenumbnut?Itwasprettyclearshewasn'tlookingforananswer.Shepreferredquestions.SoIaskedifshehadtheauthoritytooffermeajob.Withthisshedroppedthesubjectofmymanhoodandassuredmethatwhenshegothome,shewouldhaveherhusbandtakecareofit.Attheendofthemealtheeighty-four-year-oldqueenmothertotteredoutoftheroom.We梩heeighthundredinsurancesalesmen,thetwomanagingdirectorsfromSalomonBrothers,theirwives,andIstoodinrespectfulsilenceasshecrepttowardwhatIatfirsttooktobethebackdoor.ThenIrealizedthatitmustbethefrontofthepalaceandthatwefundraisertypeshadbeenletinlikedeliveryboys,throughtheback.Anyway,thequeenmotherwasheadedourway.BehindherwalkedJeeves,straightasabroom,cladinwhitetieandtailsandcarryingasilvertray.FollowingJeeves,inprocession,wasateamofsmall,tubulardogs,calledcorgis,thatlookedlikelargerats.TheEnglishthinkcorgisarecute.TheBritishroyals,Iwaslatertold,nevergoanywherewithoutthem.AcompletehushenvelopedtheGreatHallofSt.James'sPalace.Asthequeenmotherdrewnear,theinsurancesalesmenbowedtheirheadslikechurchgoers.Thecorgishadbeentrainedtocurtsyeveryfifteensecondsbycrossingtheirbacklegsanddroppingtheirratlikebelliesontothefloor.Theprocessionatlastarrivedatitsdestination.Westoodimmediatelyatthequeenmother'sside.TheSalomonBrotherswifeglowed.I'msureIglowed,too.Butsheglowedmore.Herdesiretobenoticedwastangible.ThereareanumberofwaystograbtheattentionofroyaltyinthepresenceofeighthundredsilentagentsofthePrudential,butprobablythesurestistoshout.That'swhatshedid.Specifically,sheshouted,"Hey,Queen,NiceDogsYouHaveThere!"Severaldozeninsurancesalesmenwentpale.Actuallytheywerealreadypale,soperhapsIexaggerate.Buttheyclearedtheirthroatsagreatdealandstaredattheirtasselloafers.Theonlypersonwithinearshotwhodidn'tappeardistinctlyuncomfortablewasthequeenmotherherself.Shepassedoutoftheroomwithoutmissingastep.AtthatoddmomentinSt.James'sPalace,representativesoftwoproudinstitutionshadflowntheirfinestcolorssidebyside:Theunflappablequeenmothergracefullydealtwithanembarrassingsituationbyignoringit;theSalomonBrothersmanagingdirector'swife,drawingonhiddenreservesofnerveandinstinct,restoredthebalanceofpowerintheroombyhollering.Ihadalwayshadasoftspotfortheroyals,andespeciallythequeenmother.ButfromthatmomentIfoundSalomonBrothers,thebleacherbumsofSt.James's,equallyirresistible.Imeanit.Tosome,theywerecrude,rude,andsociallyunacceptable.ButIwouldn'thavehadthemanyotherway.Thesewere,asmuchasanyinvestmentbankerscouldbe,mypeople.AndtherewasnodoubtinmymindthatthisunusuallyforcefulproductoftheSalomonBrothersculturecouldpersuadeherhusbandtogivemeajob.IwassooninvitedbyherhusbandtotheLondonofficesofSalomonandintroducedtotradersandsalesmenonthetradingfloor.Ilikedthem.Ilikedthecommercialbuzzoftheirenvironment.ButIstilldidnothaveaformaljoboffer,andIwasn'tsubjectedtoaproperroundofjobinterviews.Itwasprettyclear,consideringtheabsenceofharshcross-examination,thatthemanagingdirector'swifehadbeentruetoherwordandthatSalomonintendedtohireme.Butnooneactuallyaskedmetoreturn.AfewdayslaterIreceivedanothercall.WouldIcaretoeatbreakfastat6:30A.M.atLondon'sBerkeleyHotelwithLeoCorbett,theheadofSalomonrecruitingfromNewYork?IsaidnaturallythatIwould.AndIwentthroughthepainfulandunnaturalprocessofrisingat5:30A.M.andputtingonabluesuittohaveabusinessbreakfast.ButCorbettdidn'toffermeajobeither,justaplateofwetscrambledeggs.Wehadapleasanttalk,whichwasdisconcerting,becauseSalomonBrothers'recruitersweremeanttobebastards.ItseemedclearCorbettwantedmetoworkatSalomon,buthenevercamerightoutandproposed.Iwenthome,tookoffthesuit,andwentbacktobed.Finally,puzzled,ItoldafellowstudentattheLondonSchoolofEconomicswhathadhappened.AshebadlywantedajobwithSalomonBrothers,heknewexactlywhatIhadtodo.SalomonBrothers,hesaid,nevermadejoboffers.Itwastoosmarttogivepeoplethechancetoturnitdown.SalomonBrothersonlygavehints.IfIhadbeengivenahintthatitwantedtohireme,thebestthingformetodowascallLeoCorbettinNewYorkandtakethejobfromhim.SoIdid.Icalledhim,reintroducedmyself,andsaid,"IwanttoletyouknowthatIaccept.""Gladtohaveyouonboard,"hesaid,andlaughed.Right.Whatnext?HeexplainedthatIwouldstartlifeat"theBrothers"inatrainingprogramthatcommencedtheendofJuly.HesaidthatIwouldbejoinedbyatleast120otherstudents,mostofwhomwouldhavebeenrecruitedfromcollegesandbusinessschools.Thenhehungup.Hehadn'ttoldmewhatIwouldbepaid,norhadIasked,becauseIknew,forreasonsthatshallsoonemerge,thatinvestmentbankersdidn'tliketotalkaboutmoney.Dayspassed.Iknewnothingabouttradingand,asaresult,nexttonothingaboutSalomonBrothers,forSalomonBrothersis,morethananyotheronWallStreet,afirmrunbytraders.IknewonlywhatIhadreadinthepapers,andtheysaidthatSalomonBrotherswastheworld'smostprofitableinvestmentbank.Trueasthatmightbe,theprocessoflandingajobwiththefirmhadbeensuspiciouslypleasant.Aftersomeinitialgiddinessaboutthepromiseofpermanentemployment,Ibecameskepticalofthedesirabilityoflifeonatradingfloor.Itcrossedmymindtoholdoutforajobincorporatefinance.Haditnotbeenforthecircumstances,ImightwellhavewrittentoLeo(wewereonafirst-namebasis)tosayIdidn'twanttobelongtoanyclubthatwouldhavemesoquicklyforamember.ThecircumstanceswerethatIhadnootherjob.Idecidedtolivewiththestigmaofhavinggottenmyfirstrealjobthroughconnections.Itwasbetterthanthestigmaofunemployment.AnyotherpathontotheSalomonBrotherstradingfloorwouldhavebeenclutteredwithunpleasantobstacles,likejobinterviews.(Sixthousandpeoplehadappliedthatyear.)MostofthepeoplewithwhomIwouldeventuallyworkwerebadlysavagedintheirinterviewsandhadgrislystoriestotell.ExceptfortheweirdmemoryofSalomon'sassaultontheBritishthrone,Ihadnobattlescarsandfeltmildlyashamed.Oh,allright,Iconfess.OneofthereasonsIpouncedontheSalomonBrothersopportunitylikealooseballwasthatIhadalreadyseenthedarksideofaWallStreetjobhuntandhadnodesiretoseeitagain.Asacollegeseniorin1981,threeyearsbeforethenightIgotluckyinSt.James'sPalace,Iappliedtobanks.IhaveneverseenmenohWallStreetinsuchcompleteagreementonanyissueastheywereonmyapplication.Afewactuallylaughedatmyresume.RepresentativesfromseveralleadingfirmssaidIlackedcommercialinstincts,anexpensiveway,Ifeared,tosaythatIwouldspendtherestofmylifepoor.I'vealwayshaddifficultiesmakingsharptransitions,andthisonewasthesharpest.IrecallthatIcouldn'timaginemyselfwearingasuit.Also,I'dnevermetabankerwithblondhair.AllmoneymenI'deverseenwereeitherdarkorbald.Iwasneither.So,yousee,Ihadproblems.AboutaquarterofthepeoplewithwhomIbeganworkatSalomonBrotherscamestraightfromcollege,sopassedatestthatIfailed.Istillwonderhow.Atthetime,Ididn'tgivetradingsomuchasapassingthought.InthisIwasn'tunusual.Ifthey'dheardoftradingfloors,collegeseniorsconsideredthemcagesforuntrainedanimals,andoneofthegreatshiftsinthe1980swastherelaxingofthisposebythemostexpensivelyeducatedpeopleinbothAmericaandBritain.MyPrincetonUniversityClassof1982wasamongthelasttoholditfirmly.Sowedidn'tapplytoworkontradingfloors.Insteadweangledforlower-payingjobsincorporatefinance.Thestartingsalarywasabouttwenty-fivethousanddollarsayearplusbonus.Whenallwassaidanddone,thepaycametoaroundsixdollarsanhour.Thejobtitlewas"investmentbankinganalyst."Analystsdidn'tanalyzeanything.Theywereslavestoateamofcorporatefinanciers,themenwhodidthenegotiationsandpaperwork(thoughnotthetradingandselling)ofnewissuesofstocksandbondsforAmerica'scorporations.AtSalomonBrotherstheywerethelowestofthelow;atotherbankstheywerethelowestofthehigh;ineithercasetheirswasamiserablejob.Analystsphotocopied,proofread,andassembledbreathtakinglydullsecuritiesdocumentsforninetyandmorehoursaweek.Iftheydidthisparticularlywell,