英语听力材料：老友记第一季The-One-With-the-Butt

英语听力材料：老友记第一季TheOneWiththeButtTheOneWiththeButt

[Scene:ATheater,thegangisintheaudiencewatingforaplayofJoey”stostart.]

Rachel:(readingtheprogram)Ooh!Look!Look!Look!Look,there”sJoey”spicture!Thisissoexciting!

Chandler:Youcanalwaysspotsomeonewho”sneverseenoneofhisplaysbefore.Notice,nofear,nosenseofimpendingdoom...

Phoebe:Theexclamationpointinthetitlescaresme.(Gesturing)Y”know,it”snotjustFreud,it”sFreud!

(Thelightsdim.)

Ross:Oh,shhh,shh.Magicisabouttohappen.

(Thelightsgouponthestage,Joey,asFreud,istalkingtoafemalepatient.)

Joey:Vell,Eva,ve”vedonesomeexcellentvorkhere,andIvouldhavetosay,yourpwoblemisqviiiteclear.(Hegoesintoasonganddancenumber.)

Allyouwantisadingle,

Whatyouenvy”saschwang,

Athingthroughwhichyoucantinkle,

Orplaywith,orsimplylethang...

OpeningCredits

[Scene:TheTheater,theplayhasendedandeveryoneisapplauding.Assoonasthecastleaves,thegangallgroanandsitdownheavily.]

Rachel:God.Ifeelviolated.

Monica:Didanybodyelsefeeltheyjustwantedtopeeltheskinofftheirbody,tohavesomethingelsetodo?

Chandler:(staringatawomanacrosstheroom)Ross,teno”clock.

Ross:Isit?Feelsliketwo.

Chandler:No,teno”clock.

Ross:What?

Chandler:(sighsandgesturestoexplain)There”sabeautifulwomanateight,nine,teno”clock!

Ross:Oh.Hel-lo!

Chandler:She”samazing!ShemakesthewomenthatIdreamaboutlooklikeshort,fat,baldmen!

Monica:Well,goovertoher!She”snotwithanyone.

Chandler:Ohyeah,andwhatwouldmyopeninglinebe?”Excuseme.Blarrglarrghh.”

Rachel:Oh,c”mon.She”saperson,youcandoit!

Chandler:Ohplease,couldshebemoreoutofmyleague?Ross,backmeuphere.

Ross:Hecouldnevergetawomanlikethatinamillionyears.

Chandler:Thankyou,buddy.

Phoebe:Oh,oh,buty”know,youalwaysseethesereallybeautifulwomenwiththesereallynothingguys,youcouldbeoneofthoseguys.

Monica:Youcoulddothat!

Chandler:Y”think?

All:Yeah!

Chandler:OhGod,Ican”tbelieveI”mevenconsideringthis...I”mveryveryawareofmytongue...

Ross:C”mon!C”mon!

Chandler:Heregoes.(Hewalksovertoherbutjuststandsthere.)

Aurora:...Yes?

Chandler:Hi....um...okay,nextword...wouldbe...Chandler!Chandlerismyname,and,uh...(Heclearshisthroatnoisily)...hi.

Aurora:Yes,yousaidthat.

Chandler:Yes,yesIdid,butwhatIdidn”tsaywaswhatIwasabouttosay,whatIwantedtosaywas,uh...wouldyouliketogooutwithmesometime,thankyou,goodnight.(Hewalksbacktotheothersbutshecallshimback.)

Aurora:Chandler?

(Joeyentersfrombehindacurtain.Theothersalltalkatonce.)

All:Hey!You”reinaplay!Ididn”tknowyoucoulddance!Youhadabeard!

Joey:Whadjathink?

(Pause)

All:...Hey!You”reinaplay!Ididn”tknowyoucoulddance!Youhadabeard!

Joey:C”mon,youguys,itwasn”tthatbad.ItwasbetterthanthatthingIdidwiththetrolls,atleastyougottoseemyhead.

All:(admitting)Sawyourhead.Sawyourhead.

Chandler:(runningback)Shesaidyes!!Shesaidyes!!(ToJoey)Awfulplay,man.Whoah.(ToAll)Hername”sAurora,andshe”sItalian,andshepronouncesmyname”Chand-lrr”.”Chand-lrr”.IthinkIlikeitbetterthatway.(ToJoey)Oh,listen,theushergavemethistogivetoyou.(Hefishesacardoutofhispocket.)

Rachel:Whatisit?

Joey:TheEstelleLeonardTalentAgency.Wow,anagencyleftmeitscard!Maybetheywannasignme!

Phoebe:Basedonthisplay?...Basedonthisplay!

[Scene:CentralPerk,everyoneelseisthereasChandlerenters.]

Chandler:Hey,kids.

All:Hey.

Phoebe:(readingMonica”spalm)No,”causethislineispassion,andthisis...justaline.

Chandler:Well,Ican”tbelieveI”vebeenherealmostsevensecondsandyouhaven”taskedmehowmydatewent.

Monica:Oh,right,right.Howwasyourdate,”Chand-lrr”?

Chandler:Itwasunbelievable.I-I”venevermetanyonelikeher.She”shadthemostamazinglife!ShewasintheIsraeliamp3y...

(AflashbackofAuroraandChandlerontheirdateinCentralPerkisdenotedbyitalics.)

Aurora:...Luckilynoneofthebulletshittheengineblock.So,wemadeittotheborder,butjustbarely,andI-...I”vebeentalkingaboutmyselfallnightlong,I”msorry.Whataboutyou?Tellmeoneofyourstories.

Chandler:Alright.OnceIgotonthesubway,right,anditwasatnight,andIrodeitallthewaytoBrooklyn...justforthehellofit.

Chandler:Wetalked”tilliketwo.Itwasthisperfectevening...moreorless.

Aurora:...AllofasuddenwerealisedwewereinYammon.

Chandler:Oh,I”msorry,so”we”is?

Aurora:”We”wouldbemeandRick.

Joey:Who”sRick?

Chandler:Who”sRick?

Aurora:Myhusband.

All:Ooooohhh.

Chandler:Oh,soyou”redivorced?

Aurora:No.

Chandler:Oh,I”msorry,thenyou”rewidowed?...Hopefully?

Aurora:No,I”mstillmarried.

Chandler:Sotellme,howdo-howdoyouthinkyourhusbandwouldfeelaboutyousittingherewithme?...Slidingyourfootsofarupmypantlegyoucancountthechangeinmypocket?

Aurora:Don”tworry.Iimaginehe”dbeokaywithyoubecausereally,he”sokaywithEthan.

Chandler:Ethan?There”s,there”sanEthan?

Aurora:Mmmm...Ethanismy...boyfriend.

All:What?!

Chandler:Soexplainsomethingtomehere,uh,whatkindofarelationshipdoyouimagineushavingifyoualreadyhaveahusbandandaboyfriend?

Aurora:Isupposemainlysexual.

Chandler:...Hm.

Monica:Oh.I”msorryitdidn”tworkout.

Chandler:What”notworkout”?I”mseeingheragainonThursday.Didn”t