2024届高三英语写作专项：女儿离家出走 读后续写 课件

读后续写Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn’thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofscoldingfromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestandnoticedtheyounggirlandasked,“Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?”Oh,yes...butIdon’thavemoneyonme,”shereplied.“That’snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,”saidtheman.“comein.”Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?”askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!”saidJenny.“Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomercilesscomparedtoastranger!”Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,“Girl,doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitudetoher?”Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother’sfamiliarfaceandweatheredhands.“WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme.”Onthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.________________Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.__________________Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn’thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofscoldingfromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestandnoticedtheyounggirlandasked,“Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?”Oh,yes...butIdon’thavemoneyonme,”shereplied.“That’snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,”saidtheman.“comein.”Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?”askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!”saidJenny.“Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomercilesscomparedtoastranger!”Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,“Girl,doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitudetoher?”Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother’sfamiliarfaceandweatheredhands.“WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme.”Onthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.________________Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.__________________一、读懂大意，理清脉络主要是根据记叙文的六要素弄清文章大意，特别要弄清故事的人物，时态（通常是一般过去时），事件（故事的起因和经过），语言特色（以便在续写时语言特色前后一致，保持不变），等等。（总结：人物，时态和事件，语言特色不要变）characters人物:Jenny,hermother,thesellertense时态:simplepasttenseevents事件:events事件：1.Jennyquarreledwithhermother,lefthomeandafewhourslater,feltalittlehungry.2.ThesellergaveabowelofnoodlesandJennythankedtheselleralot.3.Theselleraskedherhowmanytimeshermothercookedforherandifshethankedhermother.4.Sherealizedhermistakesanddecidedtogohometomakeanapologytohermother.1.珍妮跟母亲吵架，离家出走，街上游荡几个钟后，感觉饥饿。2.好心人给她一碗面吃，她感动流泪。3.这位陌生人告诉她，母亲将她养大，给她做了无数次饭菜，应当感谢她的母亲。4.珍妮意识到自己错了，决定回家向妈妈道歉。语言特色1．分词短语作状语(1)Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.(2)Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,watchingthemiddle-agedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.(3)Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled…2．形容词短语作状语（有的学者认为是补语）Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock惊呆了.3.with的复合结构However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighedandhadtoleave.4．定语从句Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.二、细读首句，构思框架两段首句定一框即根据所给两段的首句确定第一段的框架。二框二首正能量即第二段的框架，由第二段首句与故事正能量结尾，来确定框架。Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.（走到门口，珍妮深吸了一口气）Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.（轻轻一碰她的头发，她的思绪又回来了）从第一段首句可知，珍妮应是鼓起勇气敲门回家，但从第二段首句来看，“轻轻碰她的头发”的应是母亲，因为人物就三个，续写中一般不要随意冒出一个新的人物，除非情节发展的确需要；“思绪回来”说明第一段中，珍妮回家没见母亲（根据常识，母亲可能去找女儿了），在回忆跟母亲吵架的事，或在回忆母亲多年的关爱，等等。构思：Paragraph1Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.（走到门口，珍妮深吸了一口气）根据构思的大致框架，推断故事中人物所见、所思、所说、所做等每段增加五至七个具体细节或叫"57细节法”。鼓足勇气，推门进屋母亲外出，该去何处累而难过，沙发上坐争吵场面，浮现脑海自己粗鲁，愧对其母母亲责骂，皆因关爱自感羞愧，泪流脸颊三、增加细节，开始写作Paragraph2Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.（轻轻一碰她的头发，她的思绪又回来了）头一望，看见母亲到处找你，你在这里母亲虽累，松了口气扑入怀里，道歉致谢母亲听后，喜在心头根据一致性原则，除内容上要语义衔接，上下连贯外，语言风格也要一致，应使用分词语短和形容词作状语，同时注意使用从句。三、增加细节，开始写作审读初稿，注意语义是否衔接，前后是否连贯，事件是否符合逻辑，语言特色是否与前文一致。在修改润色之后，整齐工整地誊写在答卷上。四、修改润色，整洁誉写

Paragraph1:Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Whenshepushedthedooropenandenteredthehouse,shefoundhermotherwasnotin.Tiredandsad,shesankdownontothesofa.“Wherecouldmymotherbe?”shewondered.“Wasshestillangrywithme?”Again,thesceneofthequarrelappearedinhermind.Sherememberedherrudenesstohermother.Realizingthatallthescoldingfromhermotherwasduetothefactthathermotherreallycaredalotabouther,shefeltratherashamed,andtearsbegantorolldownhercheeks.

Paragraph2:Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermind