英文笑话集锦.ppt

1、英文笑话集锦,A Useful Way,Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: Whats that got to do with it? Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.,Always Thirsty,I had an operation, said a man to his friend, and the doctor left a sponge in me. Thats terrible! said the fri

2、end. Got any pain? No, but I am always thirsty!,A Present,Kate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it.,The Doctor Knows Better,A man was hit by a cab in the st

3、reet. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead. said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: Im not dead. Im still alive. Be quiet, said the wife. the doctor knows better t

4、han you!,Waste or Save?,Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Dont you know you are wasting time? Jack: Yes, Dad. But Ive saved you a meal, haven I?,Why Is He Howling,Dentist: Please stop howling. I havent even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know, but you are standing on my fo

5、ot!,Hospitality,The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and the

6、n said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?“ In the rat-trap(老鼠夹), sir, replied the boy.,God came up to me,Once god came up to me and granted me a wish. I asked for world peace. Thats impossible, he said. Then I asked him to give you brains. He said, Let

7、 me try world peace.,Borrow money,Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? Jack: Certainly. Tom: And why? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.,One evening I drove my husbands car to the shopping mall. On my return, I not

8、iced that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield. My husband looked up and said, Moms here?,Nest and Hair,My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. What kind of bird? my sister asked. I didnt see the bird, ma am, only the nest, replied the child. Then, can you give us a description of the nest? my sister encouraged her