四级作文经典评析.ppt

1、作文评析,Part-time Jobs 观点对比型 BY group4 主讲：Calvin Yang,行文流程,1.描述现象在现实生活中大致反映，引出全文 2.正（反）观点的对比论述 3.我的观点,行文中出现的主要问题,1.文章主要以短句为主，让文章显得逻辑连接性不强 2.语句、段落之间关联度不够，逻辑性不强 3.chiglish较为严重，书面语、口语分不清楚 4.模板问题比较严重，主要都选择一个模板,行文中的普遍问题,1.think一词的乱用 2.more and more （万恶词组） 3.单词多次重复出现，没有替换 4.没有标点符号，不分大小写 5.单复数问题 6.语法不清楚 7.句法不

2、清楚,Solution NO.1（main problem）,文章行文中应长短句结合搭配，抑扬顿挫，这样会使得改卷老师认为你的英语水平较高，同时文章的层次就出来了 e.g. Most of us have formed an unrealistic picture of life on a desert island. We sometimes imagine a desert island to be a sort of paradise where the sun always shines. Life there is simple and good. Ripe fruit falls

3、from the trees and you never have to work. The other side of the picture is quite the opposite. Life on a desert island is wretched. You either starve to death or live like Robinson Crusoe, waiting for a boat which never comes. Perhaps there is an element of truth in both these pictures, but few of

4、us have had the opportunity to find out. -New concept 3 Lesson12 Life on a desert island,Summery,模板;结构：总-分（正面-过度-反面）-总 总;.have formed different ideas/opinions on 分：some hold that(用词：maintain, view, be convinced) 列举原因：for the simple reason that The other perspective is quite the opposite. They argue

5、that .According to them (whats more, in addition, moreover) 总：Perhaps there is an element of truth in both these opinions, 1.but I would maintain a moderate/neutral attitude 2.but I would agree more on the former/latter one,example,They have formed different ideas on this topic. Some hold that child

6、ren are supposed to do so for the simple reason that in childhood they get good memory and that early study can lay the foundation for further study in the future. The other perspective is quite the opposite. They argue that it is not suitable for children to start English study as early as childhoo

7、d. According to them, learning English and Chinese at the same time may give rise to confusion, which will exert negative influence on the study efficiency of both languages. Perhaps there is an element of truth in both opinions, but no result has been achieved yet in the discussion.,Solution NO.2（m

8、ain problem）,The silence was suddenly broken when a large car, with its headlights on and its horn blaring, roared down the arcade. It came to a stop outside the jewelers. One man stayed at the wheel while two others with black stockings over their faces jumped out and smashed the window of the shop

9、 with iron bars. While this was going on, Mr Taylor was upstairs. He and his staff began throwing furniture out of the window. Chairs and tables went flying into the arcade. One of the thieves was struck by a heavy statue, but he was too busy helping himself to diamonds to notice any pain. The raid

10、was all over in three minutes, for the men scrambled back into the car and it moved off at a fantastic speed. Just as it was leaving, Mr Taylor rushed out and ran after it throwing ashtrays and vases, but it was impossible to stop the thieves. They had got away with thousands of pounds worth of diam

11、onds. - New concept 3 Lesson6 Smash-and-grab,Solution NO.3（main problem）,1.no matter (regardless of) you are in school or not 2.students can understand that money couldnt come easily (money cannot be easily earned) 3.extra work may make their body bad (lead to a disease which can be harmful to their

12、 healthy) 4.with the increasing need (demond) of society 5.in todays (current) society/world,Solution NO.4（main problem）,1.I think the advantages outweigh than the disadvantages. 2.As to me 3.As far as Im concerned 4.As a college student Solution:多背模板，排列组合！,Think,v. 1.认为,以为2.想,思索,构思;考虑3.想出,想起4.感到5.猜

13、想,想像,Think替换词,reason consider Suppose Assume Believe Imagine Agree Judge sense,More and more,不要再用 more and more了；该词组被评为中国恶俗词组榜第一！ a growing/increasing number of. Inevitable nevtb()l 不可避免的 Progressively gradually,More and more拓展,The more.,the more. 句型 1.“the more., the more.”句型常表示“越就越”,是一个复合句,其中前面的句子

14、是状语从句,后面的句子是主句。the用在形容词或副词的比较级前,more代表形容词或副词的比较级。例如: The more he gets, the more he wants. 2.the more., the more.句型,主从句的时态常用一般现在时或一般过去时。例如: The higher the ground is, the thinner air becomes.,The more.,the more. 句型,3. 若主句的谓语动词用一般将来时,从句的谓语动词要用一般现在时表示将来。例如: The harder you work, the greater progress you

15、will make. 4. 若比较级作表语且不位于句首时,可以不用the。例如: When we are more in danger, we should be braver. 5. 在这种句型中,主句在程度上随着从句变化而变化,常把被强调部分提前。例如: The faster you run, the better it will be.,The more.,the more. 句型,6. 这种句型的特点是前后都可以有所省略。特别是谚语、俗语,只要意义明确,越简练越好。例如: The more , the better.多多益善。 7. 这种句型中的比较部分通常是状语、宾语、表语,也可以是

16、主语。例如: The more English you practise, the better your English is.,The more.,the more. 句型,8. 若表示越越不时,常用the more., the less.句型。例如: The more she flatters me, the less I like her. 9. 若表示越不就越时,常用the less., the more.句型。例如: The less he worried, the better he worked.,替换,healthy: fit well strong vigorous ben

17、eficial nutritious (反义词：sick unhealthy ill) Improve: promote, advance, enhance, Strengthen, facilitate, boost (反义词：worsen waste),替换,rich: wealthy productive indigestible intense (反义词：poor shabby lacking light weak) perfect: Adj. faultless ideal precise exact (反义词：flawed incomplete wrong) surprising:

18、 astonishing astounding amazing shocking startling unexpected unanticipated extraordinary remarkable (反义词：expected),替换,outstanding: exceptional terrific wonderful marvelous excellent great remarkable (反义词：abysmal settled) big: large spacious extensive older tall (反义词：small narrow little short) great

19、: huge famous noble wonderful countless remarkable (反义词：tiny ordinary lowly awful slight limited),替换,人们 People Human human beings man mankind Individual The public Citizen,替换,年轻人 The young The youth cynical youth Teenagers adolescent Young adult,替换,老年人 The old The elderly Senior citizen The advanced

20、 The aged,替换,员工 Staff Workers Employees clerks,替换,竞争对手 Competitor Competition Compete with Opponent Rival Adversary contender,替换,特征 特点 Character Characteristics Trait Feature Attribute quality,替换,结果 Result Consequence Outcome aftermath,替换,缺少 Lack of Short Shortage Insufficiency,替换,标准，基准 Standard Cri

21、teria Canon Benchmark milestone,替换,大量的 A quantity of A lot of lots of A large number of Plenty of Enormous tremendous An increasing number of people,替换,可行的，可操作的 Operational Usable Workable Feasible Practical,替换,重要的 Significant Significance Vital Essential Critical Crucial of great importance Key dec

22、isive,替换,产生，造成 Produce Generate Create Trigger Engender pose,替换,解决；处理 Deal with Solve Cope with Resolve Settle Tackle handle,替换,支持，资助 Support Sponsor Back up Subsidize subsidy Finance,替换,转变 Change Transform Alter Shift convert,替换,强调，重视 Emphasis emphasize Underline Highlight Draw attention to Take st

23、h seriously,替换,忽视，轻视 Ignore Neglect Overlook Underestimate Take sth lightly,名词大词,Dilemma (problem catch-22) Strategy Compromise: 妥协；折中 Paradox: 矛盾 Inequality: 不平等 Hierarch: 等级 class status Democracy: 民主,动词大词,Collaborate: 协作 Compensate: 补偿 Aggravate: 恶化；加重 Exaggerate:夸张,形容词大词,Prosperous 繁荣的 Sustainab

24、le development 可持续的 Optimistic: 乐观的 pessimistic 悲观的 Potential: 潜在的，可能的 Inevitable: 必然的；不可避免的,连字符的合成词,Win-win 双赢 Cost-effective 划算的 Eco-friendly 环保的 Multi-cultural 多元文化的 Eye-catching 引人注目的 Market-oriented 以市场为导向的 Thought-provoking 发人深省的,长短句范例,Pumas are large, cat-like animals which are found in Ameri

25、ca. When reports came into London Zoo that a wild puma had been spotted forty-five miles south of London, they were not taken seriously. However, as the evidence began to accumulate, experts from the Zoo felt obliged to investigate, for the descriptions given by people who claimed to have seen the p

26、uma were extraordinarily similar.,长短句范例,The hunt for the puma began in a small village where a woman picking blackberries saw a large cat only five yards away from her. It immediately ran away when she saw it, and experts confirmed that a puma will not attack a human being unless it is cornered. The search proved difficult, for the puma was often observed at one place in the morning and at another place twe