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汉英翻译(下)教案主讲:魏志成教授第 6 单元I 提示原文来源原文语篇作者是中国现代作家朱自清(1898-1948),选自张培基译注,1999 年,英译中国现代散文选(汉英对照),上海:上海外语教育出版社。译文来源译文 1 为张培基译,选自张培基译注, 1999 年,英译中国现代散文选(汉英对照),上海:上海外语教育出版社。译文 2 为朱纯深译,选自乔萍、翟淑蓉、宋洪玮编著,1999 年,散文佳作 108 篇(汉英/英汉对照),南京:译林出版社。译文 3 为张梦井、杜耀文译,选自张梦井、杜耀文编译,1999 年,中国名家散文精译。青岛:青岛出版社。语体特征与翻译策略篇章 匆匆是朱自清的早期散文,写于 1922年 7月。文章充满对时光的消失深表感叹和无奈,流露出一种人生的苦闷和忧伤的情绪。 句式 原文运笔如风,抒情味浓烈;笔调考究。句子多整齐匀称,颇有古典风格。本语篇虽然以陈述句为主,但是在篇幅不长的全文中共所使用的 11个反问句,却是一大特色,尤其值得注意的是这 11个反问句分别集中在语篇的开头与结尾的两个大段落上,进一步激发了读者对主题的想象和共鸣。语义 词语以共核词为主,但也不乏书面用语,如“头涔涔而泪潸潸”等。 文章辞格丰富,如排比 、 借代 、拟人 、明喻、反问、呼语等,甚至连标点符号都精心设计。另外,尤其在丰富现代汉语语文创作方面,文章大胆创新。如整个语篇都从拟人入手,并借用“他”指代太阳和时光,用冒号表示条件句关系的用法,用 分号表示转折的用法等。这些辞格的运用增强了语篇的文学欣赏性。翻译策略 文章以叙述为主,但是成功地借用了描写、抒情、议论等多种表达方式,尤其是在通过拟人抒情的手法来表达人物心理方面所采用的修辞,要充分发挥汉英互文或修辞的共性,从翻译策略的角度加以重视。对于语篇中新兴的语言表现,在可能的情况下要追根溯源。对于那些源于英语的语言现象,可以采取回译。2II 译法要点6.1 标题 6.2 整句与 Parellelism6.3 回译:标点符号(冒号) 6.4 借代与 Metonymy6.5 套译:习语(II) 6.6 时态:现在进行时与现在完成进行时6.7 变通:转换(叠字) 6.8 句界与句意6.9 变通:句式转换 6.10 回译:指称代词(他 he)6.11 误译:“前”的时空语义 6.12 拟人与 Personification6.13 表述重心与独立结构 6.14 呼应:主题词6.15 明喻与 Simile(II) 6.16 语篇人际特征的互文性 6.17 呼语与 ApostropheIII 原文与译文【原文】匆匆燕子去了,有再来的时候;杨柳枯了,有再青的时候;桃花谢了,有再开的时候。但是,聪明的,你告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?是有人偷了他们罢:那是谁?又藏在何处呢?是他们自己逃走了罢:现在又到了哪里呢?我不知道他们给了我多少日子;但我的手确乎是渐渐空虚了。在默默里算着,八千多个日子已经从我手中溜去;像针尖上一滴水滴在大海里,我的日子滴在时间的流水里,没有声音,也没有影子。我不禁头涔涔而泪潸潸了。去的尽管去了,来的尽管来着;去来的中间,又怎样地匆匆呢?早上我起来的时候,小屋里射进两三方斜斜的太阳。太阳他有脚啊,轻轻悄悄地挪移了;我也茫茫然跟着旋转。于是-洗手的时候,日子从水盆里过去;吃饭的时候,日子从饭碗里过去;默默时,便从凝然的双眼前过去。我觉察他去的匆匆了,伸出手遮挽时,他又从遮挽着的手边过去;天黑时,我躺在床上,他便伶伶俐俐地从我身上跨过,从我脚边飞去了。等我睁开眼和太阳再见,这算又溜走了一日。我掩着面叹息。但是新来的日子的影儿又开始在叹息里闪过了。在逃去如飞的日子里,在千门万户的世界里的我能做些什么呢?只有徘徊罢了,只有匆匆罢了;在八千多日的匆匆里,除徘徊外,又剩些什么呢?过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了;如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了。我留着些什么痕迹呢?我何曾留着像游丝样的痕迹呢?我赤裸裸来到这世界,转眼间也将赤裸裸地回去罢?但不能平的,为什么偏要白白走这一遭啊?你聪明的,告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢? 【译文】译文 1Transient Days3If swallows go away, they will come back again. If willows wither, they will turn green again. If peach blossoms fade, they will flower again. But, tell me, you the wise, why should our days go by never to return? Perhaps they have been stolen by someone. But who could it be and where could he hide them? Perhaps they have just run away by themselves. But where could they be at the present moment?I dont know how many days I am entitled to altogether, but my quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away. Counting up silently, I find that more than 8,000 days have already slipped away through my fingers. Like a drop of water falling off a needle point to the ocean, my days are quietly dripping into the stream of time without leaving a trace. At the thought of this, sweat oozes from my forehead and tears trickle down my cheeks.What is gone is gone, what is to come keeps coming. How swift is the transition in between! When I get up in the morning, the slanting sun casts two or three squarish patches of light into my small room. The sun has feet too, edging away softly and stealthily. And, without knowing it, I am already caught in its revolution. Thus the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands; vanishes in the rice bowl when I have my meal; passes away quietly before the fixed gaze of my eyes when I am lost in reverie. Away of its fleeting presence, I reach out for it only to find it brushing past my out-stretched hands. In the evening, when I lie on my bed, it nimbly strides over my body and flits past my feet. By the time when I open my eyes to meet the sun again, another day is already gone. I have a sigh, my head burried in my hands. But, in the midst of my sighs, a new day is flashing past.Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions, what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life? What have I been doing during the 8,000 fleeting days except wavering and wandering? The bygone days, like wisps of smoke, have been dispersed by gentle winds, and, like thin mists, have been evaporated by the rising sun. What traces have I left behind? No, nothing, not even gossamer-like traces. I have come to this world stark naked, and in the twinkling of an eye, I am to go back as stark naked as ever. However, I am taking it very much to heart: why should I be made to pass through this world for nothing at all?O you the wise, would you tell me please: why should our days go by never to return? 译文 2RushSwallows may have gone, but there is a time to return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again. Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return? - If they had been stolen by someone, who could it be? Where could he hide them? If they had made the escape themselves, then where could they stay at the moment?I do not know how many days I have been given to spend, but I do feel my hands are getting empty. Taking stock silently, I find that more than eight thousands days have already slid away from me. Like a drop of water from the point of a needle disappearing into the ocean, my days are dripping into the stream of time, soundless, traceless. Already sweat is starting on my forehead, and tears welling up in my eyes.Those that have gone have gone for good, those to come keep coming; yet in between, how swift is the shift, in such a rush? When I get up in the morning, the slanting sun marks its presence 4in my small room in two or three oblongs. The sun has feet, look, he is treading on, lightly and furtively; and I am caught, blankly, in his revolution . Thus - the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands, wears off in the bowl when I eat my meal, passes away before my day-dreaming gaze as I reflect in silence. I can feel his haste now, so I reach out my hands to hold him back, but he keeps flowing past my withholding hands. In the evenings, as l lie in bed, he strides over my body, glides past my feet, in his agile way. The moment I open my eyes and meet the sun again, one whole day has gone. I bury my face in my hands and heave a sigh. But the new day begins to flash past in the sigh.What can l do, in this bustling world, with my days flying in their escape? Nothing but to hesitate, to rush. What have l been doing in that eight-thousand-day rush, apart from hesitating? Those bygone days have been dispersed as smoke by a light wind, or evaporated as mist by the morning sun. What traces have l left behind me? Have I ever left behind any gossamer traces at all? I have come to this world, stark naked; am I to go back, in a blink , in the same stark nakedness? It is not fair though : why should I have made such a trip for nothing! You the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return? 译文 3Days Gone ByWhen the swallows have gone, there is still time to return; when the poplar and willow trees have become withered , there is still time to see green ; when the peach flowers have already faded, there is still time to blossom. But please tell me, the genius, why then have my days gone and never returned? If some people have stolen them, then who are they? And where are they hidden? If they have escaped by themselves, then where are they now ?I dont know how many days I have been given, but the days in my hands are becoming numbered. Counting silently, over eight thousand days have slipped by. Just like water drops upon a pinpoint dripping slowly into the vast ocean, my days have been dripping into the river of time , quietly and invisibly. I cant help dripping with sweat and weeping many tears.Although the goings have gone and the comings are constantly coming, how hurried is the time between? When I get up in the morning, I see two or three ribbons of light streaming into my room. The sun also has feet; it moves away on tiptoe and I follow it aimlessly. When I wash my hands, my days wash off into my basin; when I am eating , the days vanish from my bowl and when I am sitting silently, my days pass by my gazing eyes. When I feel them go away so hurriedly, I reach out my hands only to hold them back before they are beyond my grasp. When it is dark, I lie upon my bed and watch days cleverly jump over my body or fly away from my feet. When I open my eyes to meet the sun again, another day has gone by. I cover my face and sigh but the spark of a new day begins to flash away in my breath.In these swiftly escaping days, what can I do in this world amongst thousands of households? I can do nothing but hesitate and hurry. In these over eight thousand hurried days , what has been left to me besides hesitation? The past days like light smoke are blown away with the breeze or like a thin layer of mist evaporate with the morning sun. And what mark have I left in the world? When have I ever left a mark as tiny as a hairspring? I came to this world naked, soon Ill leave here naked too. But its unfair to me. . . why did I come to this world for nothing?You , the genius, please tell me why our days have gone by and have never returned? 5IV 比较分析与译法(1)匆匆译文 1 Transient Days 译文 2 Rush译文 3 Days Gone By6.1 标题标题,犹如一篇文章的眼睛,译好标题可以起到“画龙点睛”的作用。郭著章、李庆生(1996:163;167)认为,英译汉文标题时,注意避免平铺直叙并且要重视美感。此外在操作过程中,我认为文章的标题翻译最好是放在最后进行,这是因为标题与整个语篇有言内意义的联系,只有在彻底把握住整个语篇之后才能使译文与原文具有更大的对应。以本篇标题匆匆为例,3 个译文分别为:Transient Days、Rush、和 Days Gone By。如何理解或分析这 3个不同的英译标题,必须从原文语篇着手。原文的主旨就是叹息“逃去如飞的日子”,即感叹人生时光的飞逝,突出“匆忙”或“快” ,对于一去不复返的日子颇有追悔、惋惜之情,调子比较伤感和无奈,但也有从正面警世的暗示:要积极把握光阴、不能白白枉费人生。文章以“匆匆”这样一个使用于人身上的词语为题,来描绘时光的流逝,其实已经将抽象的时间概念拟人化,而这种语用效果只有在通读全文之后才能领悟出来,因为作为标题的“匆匆”二字给人的只是一种诱惑、神秘或悬念,它能引发读者进一步的阅读兴趣,-也许这也是原文作者用意之所在。除标题外,原文中还有 3处直接使用了“匆匆”这二个字眼,其它处也以“一去不复返”、“转眼间 ”、“逃走”、“飞去”、“溜去”、“跨过”、“闪过”等与“匆匆”这个语义呼应。译文 2以与原文相同的一个简略词 Rush 直译,突出了原文“匆忙”或“快”的意象,保留了原文的神秘与悬念,贴近原文语境。虽然 Transient Days 和 Days Gone By 也都非常清楚、直白地传达了原文主旨,非常容易让读者了解到在即将阅读的文章中所要阐述的内容,但也正是由于这种诠释性的处理,平铺直叙的意译使得译文平淡而缺少原文激发人的想象与神韵。(2)燕子去了,有再来的时候; 杨柳枯了,有再青的 时候;桃花 谢了,有再开的时候。译文 1 If swallows go away, they will come back again. If willows wither, they will turn green again. If peach blossoms fade, they will flower again.译文 2 Swallows may have gone, but there is a time to return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again.译文 3 When the swallows have gone, there is still time to return; when the poplar and willow trees have become withered , there is still time to see green ; when the peach flowers have already faded, there is still time to blossom.6.2 整句与 Parellelism汉语整句是指结构相同或相似,字数大致相等,整齐地排列在一起的句子。从比较“宽”的理解来看,汉语整句与英语 Parellelism 有一些对应项。英语 Parellelism 包括( 邵志6洪、惟音.2004):(一)Parallel words and phrase329In English, there are countless situations, moods,and relationships for which there is no single word.(T.H.Middleton)330It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love ones neighbor.(E.Hoffer)(二)Parallel clauses331What we say and what we do somehow seem out of point.(N.Cousins)(三)Parallel sentences332The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots.(E.Fromm)不难看出,汉语整句与英语 Parellelism 中的(三)Parallel sentences 大致对应,这一类的 Parellelism 涉及包括所有句型在内的语法结构。比如重复 adverbial clause+main clause 句型:If ,you . If , you .有时候尽管句内用词数量等形式上相去甚远,也被视为Parellelism,起帮助联句成篇的衔接作用。对于原文整句的翻译,3 个译文都使用了Parellelism,尽管译文 1 的句型为: If , they will . If , they will . If , they will ;译文 2 的句型为:Swallows , but there is ; willow trees , but there is ; peach blossoms , but they will ;译文 3 的句型为:When , there is ; when , there is ; when , there is 。(3) 但是,聪明的,你告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?是有人偷了他们罢:那是谁?又藏在何处呢?是他们自己逃走了罢:现在又到了哪里呢?译文 1 But, tell me, you the wise, why should our days go by never to return? Perhaps they have been stolen by someone. But who could it be and where could he hide them? Perhaps they have just run away by themselves. But where could they be at the present moment?译文 2 Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return? - If they had been stolen by someone, who could it be? Where could he hide them? If they had made the escape themselves, then where could they stay at the moment?译文 3 But please tell me, the genius, why then have my days gone and never returned? If some people have stolen them, then who are they? And where are they hidden? If they have escaped by themselves, then where are they now ?6.3 回译:标点符号(冒号)古代汉语句读符号中没有冒号,现代汉语标点符号中的冒号,形式和用法都是从西文引进的,而名称是使用表意词,具有独创性。冒号的形式和名称是 1919 年请颁行新式标点符号议案正式确定的。虽然不同时期的政府文件对于冒号有不同定义,但是简要说来,冒号不变的两种基本功能是:(1)总结上文;(2)提示下文。原文中的两处冒号属于后一种用法,即:提示下文。尤其值得注意的是,含有冒号本身的句子与它后面引出的句子的关系包括多种(这一点被多数汉英语法学家所忽视),如:并列、同位、解说、因果、让步、递进、条件等。请分析下列英语例句:333 She went:I was following: she made a sign for me to turn back: I disobeyed her only an instant: yet my sense of disobedience, increasing my feebleness and confusion, made me lose sight of her. (W.S.Landor,1775-1864,The Dream of Boccaccio。并列关系)7334 Does not the whole wretchedness, the whole Atheism as I call it, of mans way, in these generations, shadow itself for us in that unspeakable Life-philosophy of his: The pretension to be what he calls “happy”?(T. Carlyle1795-1881,Happiness。同位关系)335My own experience, at least, has taught me a very different lesson: twenty happy years have been animated by the labour of my History, (E.Gibbon1737-1794, A Retrospect。解说关系)336I will walk abroad; old griefs shall be forgotten today: for the air is cool and still,(T.D.Quincey1785-1859,Dreams。因果关系)337That is impossible to be attained: but every wise man will endeavour to place his happiness on such objects as depend most upon himself: and that is not to be attained so much by any other means as by this delicacy of sentiment. (David Hume1711-1776,Delicacy of Taste and Delicacy of Passion。第一个冒号表示让步关系,第二个冒号表示递进关系 )338But we make the worst possible use, if we allow them to usurp the place of true book: for, strickly speaking, they are not books at all, but merely letters or newspapers in good print.(J.Ruskin1819-1900,Books 。条件关系)用冒号引出下文并且表示多种句际关系的用法,在现代英语中是比较普遍的,相对而言,当代英语的这种用法是少了许多。因此,冒号的这种用法在英语中也是具有“古典”风味。如我们所知,原文语篇写于 1922 年,也是当时的政府规定汉语必须正式使用标点符号的第3 年。作者所使用的冒号表示条件句关系的用法,是促成现代汉语形成的因素之一,可以说是有一定创新意义的;不仅如此,也是作者风格标志之一。由于冒号的这种用法本身就来源于包括英语在内的西语,所以原文冒号可以直译回去。这样不仅保持住了原文风格,而且也符合英语用法。综合起来,建议译文修改为:339Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return? - If they have been stolen by someone: who could he be? and where could he hide them? If they have escaped by themselves: then where could they stay at the moment?(4)我不知道他们给了我多少日子;但我的手确乎是渐渐空虚了。译文 1 I dont know how many days I am entitled to altogether, but my quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away. 译文 2 I do not know how many days I have been given to spend, but I do feel my hands are getting empty. 译文 3 I dont know how many days I have been given, but the days in my hands are becoming numbered. 6.4 借代与 Metonymy汉语借代与英语 Metonymy 都是修辞格的一种,指不直接说出要说的人或事物的本来名称,而是借用和该人或该事物密切相关的词去代替,也就是给事物换一个名称或说法,以求语言新鲜别致、生动形象,引起人们的联想,加深对事物的印象。两者不仅基本手法一致,而且主要的借代模式也极为相似,常见的有以下 10 类。请看汉英对应类例:(李国南.1999:63-92;徐鹏.2000: 91-104;黄民裕.1984:20-27 )(一)借事物的象征标记或个体特征代事物或人340“我们太爱惜乌纱帽了。” (王蒙布扎)341The crown should not yield to the mitre.8以上分别以“乌纱帽”和 crown(王冠) 代表“王权”和“官职”。(二)借工具代工具使用者或相关事物342社会上流传的新型民谚“手术刀不如剃头刀”绝不是无稽之谈。(霍达 国殇)343The pen is mightier than the sword.342用“手术刀”代“外科医生”,“剃头刀”代“理发师 ”;343 用 pen(笔)代writer(文人) ,sword (剑)代 armyman(军人)。(三)借容器或处所代事物或人344严致和又道:“却是不可多心;将来要备祭桌,破费钱财,都是我这里备齐。”(吴敬梓儒林外史)345He was too fond of the bottle.344用“祭桌”代“桌上的饭菜”和“祭奠的酒菜”;345用 bottle(酒瓶)代“酒”。(四)借作者代作品或首创者代首创事物346吾喜长短句,/最喜是苏辛。( 陈毅冬夜杂咏吾读)347 I read Dickens and Shakespear without shame or stint;(G.B.Shaw, The Artist-Philosoper)346中借“苏”代“苏东坡的词”,“辛”代“辛弃疾的词 ”;347 中的 Dickens 和 Shakespear 都是代表 Dickens 和 Shakespear 的作品。(五)借产地代产物或地名代相关事物348老祖宗看看,谁不是你老人家的儿女?难道将来只有宝兄弟顶你老人家上五台山不成?(曹雪芹红楼梦)349Shares rose sharply on Wall Street yesterday.348中以“五台山”代“墓地”,因为五台山是佛教圣地; 349中用 Wall Street 代美国金融市场,是因为 Wall Street 是美国大垄断组织和金融机构的集中地。(六)借原材料代成品350他走近柜台,从腰间伸出手来,满把是银的和铜的,在柜上一扔说:“现钱!打酒来!”(鲁迅阿 Q 正传)351 Silver and gold have I none.以上“银的”、“铜的”和 silver(银)、gold(金),都分别转指“银币”、“铜币”或“金币”。(七)借原因代结果或结果代原因352汉皇重色思倾国, /御宇多年求不得。(白居易长恨歌 )353 I like to play with rosy cheeks.352中的“倾国”,称或“倾城倾国”,在汉语中早已经成为 “美女”的代称,因为美色往往迷惑君王,足以倾覆邦国;353中的 rosy cheeks(红润的脸颊)代替儿童本身,是因为儿童年纪幼小,血脉通畅的原因。(八)借具体代抽象或抽象代具体354作夜雨疏骤, /浓睡不消残酒。/ 试问卷帘人,/ 却道海棠依旧。/ 知否,知否?/ 应是绿肥红瘦。(李清照如梦令)355Your daughter is quite a beauty.汉语“绿”“红”分别代“海棠叶”和“海棠花”;英语 beauty(美丽)代“美女”,-这两例都是以抽象代具体。(九)借局部代整体或整体代局部356沉舟侧畔千帆过, / 病树前头万木春。(刘禹 锡酬乐天 扬州初逢席上见赠)357 I bit my arm, I sucked the blood,/ And cried, A sail! A sail! (S. T. Coleridge, The Rime 9of the Ancient Mariner)汉语“帆”和英语 sail(帆) ,都转指“船”。(十)借特定代普通或普通代特定358人们都睡了,连我的女人和孩子。(鲁迅为了忘却的记念)359A poor creature.以上为普通代替特定的借代。358中的“女人”代指“妻子 ”,“孩子”代指“子女”;359中的 creature(生物、动物) 代指“人”。从以上汉语借代和英语 Metonymy 的比较中可以看出,两者极为相似,用法也基本对应。现在再回头讨论一下原文“我的手确乎是渐渐空虚了”一句中的借代。“我的手”是一个以局部代替整体的借代,即以作为人体一部分的“手”(喻体)来代替整体的“人”(本体),-属于上述 10 种借代模式中的第 9 种。就翻译而言,译文 1舍弃了借代(喻体)而直接使用说明性文字,译文 2直译原文借代(喻体),译文 3保持了原文借代(喻体)并且增添了说明性的内容。我个人的观点是:译文 1的处理显然是不可取的,因为这种处理完全忽视了原文借代(喻体),在翻译语言中没有尽力再现原文信息与风格;译文3虽然传达了原文借代(喻体)与信息,但是所增添的说明性部分(the days)在语境的作用下,显得多余,因此与原文风格不合。而译文 2的处理恰好适中,-由于前一句的作用(how many days I have been given to spend),后一句仅仅是再现原文借代(喻体/my hands are getting empty),使得译文与原文具有一样的意象美和含蓄美。(5)在默默里算着,八千多个日子已经从我手中溜去;译文 1 Counting up silently, I find that more than 8,000 days have already slipped away through my fingers.译文 2 Taking stock silently, I find that more than eight thousands days have already slid away from me.译文 3 Counting silently, over eight thousand days have slipped by.6.5 套译:习语(II)原文“从手中溜去”是一种习惯说法。3 种译文中,只有译文 1 借用了英语习语 slip away through ones fingers 进行套译。不过,根据 Longman 词典和 英汉大词典,这条习语应该写成 let slip (或 run) through ones fingers,意思是 to escape; get lost 听任从指缝间溜掉;错过;放过。例如:360 Youre not going to let a chance like that slip through your fingers, are you?你不会错过那样的机会吧?译文 2、3 所选用的 slid away 或 slip by,虽然也可以表达原文语义,但是不如译文 1的套译。有些汉英习语无论在意义、意象或风格上都比较相似或近似,翻译时可以采取套译法。再譬如:361隔墙有耳。/Walls have ears.362有其父必有其子。/Like father, like son.(6)像针尖上一滴水滴在大海里,我的日子滴在时间的流水里,没有声音,也没有影子。译文 1 Like a drop of water falling off a
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