情景作文细节添加.ppt

情景作文训练,Review the writing task,假如你是红星中学高三一班的学生。3月5日是学雷锋日，你班组织了一次帮扶活动。请根据下面四幅图所提供的活动内容和过程写一篇英文短文，为你校校刊英语专栏投稿。 senior citizens home 养老院,What do you think of it?,Passage 1 Our class planned to organize an activity on March 5th, the day in memory of Lei Feng. On March 4th, our class held a class meeting to discuss where to go on March 5th. We decided to pay a visit to the senior citizens home. On March 5th, we did some cleaning in the senior citizens home. Some taught them learn English. Some of us put on performance for the old people. We said good-bye to them.,Part I Problems and solutions,Identify the problem,If you are asked to describe the feeling the writing gives to you as the picture below, which one would you like to choose?,B.,Part I Problems and solutions,Strategy 1,Part I Problems and solutions,通过增加细节使文章内容充实丰富。,Part I Problems and solutions,丰富的内容,高考情景作文评分标准,覆盖了所有内容要点；,覆盖了所有内容要点；,覆盖了所有内容要点；,丰富的内容,Learning aims,At the end of the class, we will be able to 1. figure out what details are necessary for a passage; 2. improve our writing by adding necessary details properly.,Part I Problems and solutions,What do you think of it?,Part I Problems and solutions,Passage 2: March 5 would come soon. We hadnt settled down the question of how we could help the elderly. So we sat together to exchange our mind. There were some ideas flashed through our mind. On March 5th, we went to the senior citizens home. We did some cleaning there. Some students mopped the floor, swept the floor and cleaned the mirror. In no time, everything was clean and bright. Some taught them learn English. Some of us put on performance for the old people. Finally, we said good-bye to them. We were very tired but happy.,3月5日是学雷锋日，你班组织了一次帮扶活动。请根据下面四幅图所提供的活动内容和过程写一篇英文短文。,假如你是红星中学高三一班的学生。3月5日是学雷锋日，你班组织了一次帮扶活动。请根据下面四幅图所提供的活动内容和过程写一篇英文短文，为你校校刊英语专栏投稿。,Part I Problems and solutions,Identify the problem,Identify problem,Part I Problems and solutions,Finally, we said good-bye to them. We were very tired but happy.,Some students mopped the floor, swept the floor and cleaned the mirror. In no time, everything was clean and bright.,Some taught them learn English. Some of us put on performance for the old people.,March 5 would come soon. We hadnt settled down the question of how we could help the elderly. So we sat together to exchange our mind. There were some ideas flashed through our mind.,On March 5th, we went to the senior citizens home.,Passage 2:,We did some cleaning there.,Part I Problems and solutions,细节描述应围绕主题展开，突出重点内容。,Strategy 2,Strategy 3,Part I Problems and solutions,Passage 2: March 5 would come soon. We hadnt settled down the question of how we could help the elderly. So we sat together to exchange our mind. There were some ideas flashed through our mind. On March 5th, we went to the senior citizens home. Finally, we said good-bye to them. We were very tired but happy.,Some students mopped the floor, swept the floor and cleaned the mirror.,Some taught them learn English. Some of us put on performance for the old people.,We did some cleaning there.,In no time, everything was clean and bright.,Part I Problems and solutions,可通过下面这些细节描写使文章内容丰富且生动： a. 具体动作细节的描写。 b. 活动效果的描写。,Strategy 3,c. 人物感受的描写。,Summary,Part I Problems and solutions,增添细节,围绕主题 突出重点,动作描写 效果描写 感受描写,Part II Rewriting,Improve your writing by adding necessary details.,Part III Consolidation,【2012东城一模】假设你是红星中学高二（1）班的班长李华，去年冬天你们班开展了“为西藏希望小学献爱心”的活动。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，写一篇英文短文向某中学生英语报投稿，介绍你们本次献爱心活动的全过程。,Last winter, we carried out an activity themed “Helping the Children in the Hope Primary School in Tibet”. _ _,3. Necessary details?,1. Topic?,2. Key points?,Practice makes perfect!,How to express feelings,I really felt happy about what we did that day. By helping others, we ourselves actually gained a lot. Tired as we were, we felt happy to see smiles on their faces. We had a good time with the elderly. What we did has brought joy to the elderly people and enriched our own lives.,How to express feelings,Through this social activity, I realized when bringing happiness to others you can also feel happy. What an enjoyable and meaningful activity. Although our legs were like jelly, we realized that we can make ourselves useful to those who need help and care.,Last winter, we carried out an activity themed “Helping the Children in the Hope Primary School in Tibet”. In the class meeting, we watched CCTV news and learned about what the life of the children there was like and all of us were shocked. So we decided to do our bit. We put up some posters on the school notice board and gave out the handouts to the schoolmates. The next day, many students took part in the donation on the playground. Some donated their pocket money and some brought their new clothes and quilt