哈佛大学幸福课笔记《positivepsychology》.docx

哈佛大学幸福课笔记positive psychologySilence 实践活动后的最好进行内省 分清楚主次 第二课 Resilience 适应力 Optimistic A sense of meaningful Faith Pro-social behavior What Im good at? Focusing on strengths ? Social support ? Set goals? A role model? Question create reality. They create possibilities. A question begin a quest. Put your mind on whats you good at Take responsibility! No one is coming. Its up to you to make the most out of this experience. Lesson3 Marva Collins Ok, its hard, unfair, difficult. However, its your own responsibility. No one is coming. Its up to you to make that difference in your life! Collins way-how can we cultivate the seed of generation in our student? If we only ask “how many geometric shapes do you see on the screen?” and then, well miss the children on the bus, They completely missed the seed of greatness. Questions make a difference! Most people lead lives of quiet desperation. Comfortably numb, how can we go beyond? How can we get beyond that “quiet desperation”? 幸福并不代表没有痛苦，幸福也不会自动降临。 心理健康模型: 1. Do we focus on weaknesses, which is the disease model, say lets get rid of weaknesses? Or do we focus on strength? The disease model, the optimum level is the zero: lets just be OK; lets just not hurt. The health model, let go beyond that, lets get excitement, feel passion, not only the state of relax, its the creative tension. “Flow” we engage what we doing, much more than being “comfortable numb” not only rise to positive, but also can help us deal with desperation. A failure of personal growth Psychology is not just study of the disease, weakness, and damage, it also is the study of the strength and virtue, treatment is not just fixing what is wrong; it also builds what is right. Build bridge: 将世界一分为二。What the world needs is more than anything else, is practical idealists. Sense of mission 使命感 Your desire to do good. Self-esteem Meditation actually transforms our brain. Three physical exercises, 30 minutes each time has the same effect as powerful as our most psychiatric drugs. The foundation of being an idealists is believe change is possible. 第四课 The possibility of change! The tip of the stem is actually about democratizing excellence. Study the best and applying it to the rest of us. One of the most significant barriers to people doing things change the world, to actually introducing change is they underestimate their ability to bring about change. All history is a record of the power of minorities, and of minorities of one. 改变是从一小部分人开始的，然后指数性的扩张，问题是如何让思想扩张, Example of smile，Smile are contagious. Exponential function，the power of one. Premise number 3: Internal factors versus external factors. Income, statues, external circumstances make very little difference. Not lower or high expectations-thats wont make a difference to our levels of wellbeing. What will make a difference to our levels of wellbeing is right or wrong expectation. Our happiness is mostly depended on our state of mind; its about changing perception, about changing our interpretation of the world, of whats happing to us, of our achievements, of our failures. Its about what we choose to perceive, what we choose to focus on. Its about transformation, as opposed to the external information or the external success. The fourth premises: Permission to be human. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can change; and wisdom to know the difference. 屈服并不同于主动接受 In our culture today, we dont give us permission to be human, the freedom to experience these painful emotions as well. We all need a space, a place of our lives, where we give ourselves the PH, whether its with close friend, people we care about, whether its first and foremost with ourselves when we write a journal, where we do give ourselves the permission to be, to cry, to be joyousbecause we dont, we pay a price. We need a space of unconditional acceptance. Experience the envy when I experienced it, accept it;and then enjoy and celebrate it-the positive side. Ironic processing-when we suppress a nature phenomenon and that phenomenon only strengthens. The same applies to the painful emotions that are natural. And when we try to suppress them, they will strengthen. Painful emotions are as much as part of human nature as the law of gravity is part of physical nature. “Nature to be commanded as must be obeyed”. 严重的抑郁是我们扮演快乐所付出的终极代价 I accept my nature, I accept my state, but its doesnt means resignation. What Im talking about is active acceptance. The A B C of psychology. A. stand for affection-emotion B. stand for behavior-action C. stand for cognitionthoughts. 要实现改变，需要在A B上实现 Unconditional acceptance permission human relates primarily to our affect, their are there. That does not mean we need to accept our behavior and out cognition. Emotion is no matter right or wrong, the question is how do I choose my behavior to act as a result of it? That is where the moral domain enters. I can feel the emotion but its doesnt mean that I need to resign to my thoughts about that feeling, rumination is not helpful，its much helpful to write about them. To talk to other people about them, dont let all my irrational thoughts again and again repeat in your mind. 第五课: 在我们的文化中寻求快乐会被认为是自私的。人们会想:我怎么可以这么快乐呢,世界上有那么多的痛苦。但是，快乐并不是从别人那里夺来的，不是零和游戏，相反，快乐可以传染。Being happy, in other word, is also a moral state. 如果你善良，请你快乐。 Happiness never decreases by being shared. Its contagious. 当我们处于消极情绪时，我们的思维会变得狭窄、停滞，造成恶性循环，甚至形成抑郁。当我们处于积极地情绪下，我们的思维宽广。灵活而且跳跃。我们脑子里会有更多的选择，会有更充足的精力。 Working for our happiness, seems contributing to or wellbeing, lead us be more generous and benevolent toward other people. Be the change you want to see in the world change-Gandhi把自己改变成为你想改变的世界。 The optimal way to spread happiness is to work on your on happiness. Because then you are leading by example. Belief as self-fulfilling prophecies. 罗杰 世界上第一个在四分钟内跑完一英里的人。在这之前，科学家，生物学家证明人类的生理极限不可能突破四秒，但是罗杰不相信，经过年复一年的训练，他终于在1954年5月6号重返故校是跑出了3分59秒，一时间，他成了世界的头版，科学家失败了、医生失败了的新闻写满在了报纸上。6周之后，澳大利亚的跑手John Landy跑完一英里用了3分57.9秒。第二年1955年，37名选手跑进了4分钟。到了1956年超过了300名跑手跑进了4分钟。是他们训练更刻苦了吗,还是鞋子了技术改进了,不，是信念。信念植根于潜意识。 Pygmalion 皮格立翁效应 Lesson six Something planted from environment in ones mind, make people act better.Question is “how can we create a positive environment for ourselves? Where we primed by positive, where we can be more happier.” 在你的环境里放置爱人的照片、让你开心快乐的纪念物、让你感到受激励的歌曲、你心爱的书本、植物、艺术品、名人名言、电影 Patients and perseverance have a magic affect before which difficulties disappear and obstacle vanish. 耐心和坚持总能奇迹般的扫除困难和障碍。Adams The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. 在严寒的深冬里，我终于知道心中有个不败的夏天。那是一种永远满怀希望的天赋。 If one advance confidently in his direction in his dream, and endeavors to live the life which he imagined, he will meet success, unexpected in common hour.卢梭 如果一个人勇敢地坚持自己的梦想，努力实现自己梦想的生活，他将于成功不期而遇。 Whatever in your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve. Whether you think you can or cant, you are right. 成功的秘诀是吸引法则，财富、地位都是被你吸引而来的，无论你相信什么，无论你想象什么。 以上的名言事实上只是部分正确，我们都知道这些离不开刻苦勤奋与坚持不懈，而且避免不了失败以及从每次失败中获得的经验。这些信息其实都言过其实、效果甚微、甚至会造成灾难性的后果。有些事情无法控制，所以说一切皆有可能，只要敢想就能实现，这些说法短期内可能让你坚定信念、体验幸福感，但从长期看，只会让人感到挫败、内疚、不快乐。而且离成功越来越远，因为你相信如果一切是有思考决定创造，这种想法会成为你的心态习惯，只要有信心，钱就会滚滚而来、爱情就会降临，这抹杀了勤奋、坚忍不拔。他也是成功幸福完美人生的组成部分。 Self efficacy自我效能 我们每个人的自尊水平也就是自信程度，对我们生活有着深远的影响，比如我们如何待人接物，我们取得的地位，成就，还有个人领域，我们会与谁结婚，我们与配偶孩子的关系，个人的幸福水平。 Self-conception is destiny. 为何精神力量会如此强大, 答案一:当我们相信一见事情能成功的时候，我们会更加全力以赴的去做 二:一致性inconsistency、心理基模 我们的心理模型要与外界现实一致，这会使我们感到和谐，平衡。 要实现平衡1. Update your schema 2. Ignore or discard external information 3. Actively seek confirmation 4. Create new reality 理想主义者的目标短期是不现实的，但长期目标却是现实的。 悲观主义者的短期目标是现实的，长期目标也是现实的。 对失败的定义，不同的理解方式 我并没有失败5000次，我成功的找出了5000种行不通的方法。 对事物有积极理解的人，更加长寿。 现实realistic optimism、不现实的、盲目的 我们如何区分现实与不现实, 找出矛盾让矛盾化解 You must never confuse faith that you would prevail in the end, which you can never afford to loss, with the discipline to confront the most brutal fact of your current reality whatever they might be. 你不能坚信自己会最终会在输不起的情形下取得胜利的信念，同直面这个不知有多么残酷现实的行为相混淆。 Optimism passion and hard work 我相信运气，我发现我越努力工作，我的运气越好。 过高的希望导致失望 If we have higher expectation ,we much more likely hurt our self-esteem 第七课 1. Action Put ourselves above the line, have high self-esteem Because hard work and coping inevitably leads to success Successconfidencemotivates Failure works also in a similar way to our physical immune system, when we get sick, our body sense anti-bodies, and we actually immune to whatever it is that we had, so our body become immunize through failure. Same on the psychological level, failure is underrated. Fail more, and couple with that, we should learn to interpret it in a different way than most of us interpret failure. 学会用不同的方式去诠释失败。“its not all my fault” There is no other way to success, a spiral with ups and downs, not a straight line. “to dare is to lose ones footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose one self.” 2. Imaginary -visualization Prepare, Prepare, Prepare, and then be spontaneous. 当我看见某件东西时，我脑子里的视觉皮层被激活，而当我闭上眼睛的时候，我脑子里仍然可以出现那景象，是因为神经元的激活。换句话说，我们的脑子无法区分真实的事物和想象的事物。 我可以欺骗脑子假想得到的事情，大脑不喜欢不一致性,坚持不懈将会是想象成为现实。 不仅仅只关注结果，要视觉化过程。 I have a dream 3.cognitive therapy 认知疗法 Event-evaluation(thought)emotion 改变评估 第二步 3M Magnifying-its exaggerating something that happens. Over generalization. Minimizing-tunnel vision 视野隘口 Making up-捏造 幸福的人经历过同样多的痛苦，然而他们对失败对痛苦的诠释不同，造成了心理上的恢复速度不同，以及往后人生的不同。 Benefit finder find the miracle in the common. Cognitive reconstruction is about learning to interpret things optimistically. Much of what we experience, we co-create. 第八课 Question1: Why arent more people optimistic? Most people think optimism are detached Media lead us focus on negative, and magnify it. Question2: How do I become optimistic? Be grateful, do not take good things for granted How to maintain freshness 1 vibrate 2 put your mind 3 visualize第九课 Macro level Be grateful, you will not take things for granted. Visualize your beautiful If the stars would shine once in a thousand years, we would all look up and prays the glory of this world. But they shine Everyday we take it for granted. Its 21 days to change a habit. Start today, tip away the excess stone 生命中重要的人，他们为了我做了什么，我应该怎样感谢他们,电话。信件。 感恩是双赢，一方面付出的人得到了安慰，另一方面自己也能继续得到别人的付出。 写下消极的情绪，就是分析痛苦，治疗痛苦。 思考消极情绪，down work spiral，narrowing constrict Think our happiness，write our sadness. Change! Introduces a habit I want take exercise three times a week, each time 30 minutes. Concept of neuroplasticity. Every time a connection is made between neurons-in other words, your thought pattern follows a certain path. That path grows, just like river, each time water passes there, it gets this much wider. And when there is no water there, there is no work being done in the neuron, its shrinks a little bit. So neural pathways grow with use and they shrink when there is no use. The neural pathways are self-reinforcing. Just like rivers are. Think about it: when it rains, when there is a down pour, the water gravitates toward the existing river, toward the channels, toward the drains that we built. Its much less likely to create a new river or new stream with theres nothing before. So the experience is much likely to gravitate to already established neural pathways and strengthen it further, as opposed to create a new neural pathways, so if we want remember something, its very good to make connection to other things, to existing neural pathways, to existing memories. 理解神经可塑性 神经链接术 训练就是打通已有的大脑神经连接，通过不断的练习，加强巩固原有的连接，将神经元连接保留。 Gradual change，is the change we mostly see in the world, its the healthy change. There is no quick fix. It takes times. However, the change process can be as enjoyable as the outcome. The acute change, dont take much time. Its happens immediately. The acute change is not a quick fix. The acute change, very often, takes a lot of preparation, metaphorically speaking-you need a lot of strength to pick up the hammer and to have the power to put it down. Both take time. The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to gratification and bypass the exercise of personal strengths and virtue is folly. It leads to legions of humanity who are depressed in the middle of great wealth and starving to death spiritually. There is no quick fix. Its takes time. It takes time to change. However, the change process can be as enjoyable, as fun, as exciting as ultimately achieving the change. When something repeats again and again, its will become habit.Grateful is the parents of all virtues. Take a minute twice a day to focus on what is going on around you, take a minute when you on your way to class to look at the beautiful grass, beautiful trees, beautiful snow, take a minute in the evening to reflect and think about the day you had, and write down the things for which you are grateful. Today over lunch just by a little bit slower than you do normally and taste. Because what we dont appreciate unfortunately depreciates. We dont need to wait for a threat, for a tragedy, for us to appreciate whats all around us and within us. What reminds me constantly, my surrounding, the reminder that I have always in front of my eyes, in a picture of my family and particularly, of my grandmother in the middle. 作业:使用积极心理学进行干预生活的事项，选择一个主题，写下报告。 Connect with story.Lesson ten Change is that neither is quick-fix. Even when we pick up that sledge hammer, we need to do a lot of work before the preparation. 把一天中最后的十分钟检验，今天应该完成的事情是否完成，是否在剔除多余的石头。 Do I, do you really want to change? Do I really want to improve certain things in my personality or character, or behavior, things that I dont like. Often on the conscious level we may saying yes, but on the subconscious level something is stopping us. 我想摆脱古板的性格，但潜意识中言行一致的理念却与之相连，使得我无法摆脱。 冷酷是因为我将严肃认真极端化 轻易相信别人，是因为我自己不要愿意丢掉值得他人去信任的优点 Perfectionism is associate with drive and ambition. One of the most significant barrier to peoples happiness is that they associate happiness with slacking off, because the dominant paradigm, the dominant mantra in our culture today is “no pay, no gain.” If Im in happy now, I ignore experiencing pain, it means Im letting go. It means Im not gonna successful. Its means Im gonna lose my drive and ambition. So our subconscious level chose to be no happy. So that we dont lose the other things that we value highly. Actually success is associate with positive emotion. 更好的理解各种品质 我想让自己更加的开朗活泼，但我我潜意识里害怕自己会失去成熟有品味的品行。你根本不会，把婴儿留下，把洗澡水倒掉。前提是我们要搞清楚我们到底想改变什么。 The gradual change is mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is arguably the most powerful intervention for bringing about calm and equanimity. All of us have the capability to be mindful. All it involves is cultivating our ability to pay attention in the present moment. Mindfulness means seeing thing as they are, without trying to change them. The point is to dissolve our reactions to disturbing emotions, being careful not to deject the emotion itself. 试图去改变他们，关键是要消解我们的负面情绪的反应，而非去抵制负面情绪。 冥想解除痛苦疗法: Slow, quiet, gentle, exhalation, deep slow inhalation, all the way into your belly. 慢慢的轻轻地静静地长长的呼出来， 如果你的思绪飘走了，回到你的呼吸上来。 现在打开你的心眼 想象你在脑中观察你自己的身体 你的前额、你的鼻子，眼睛，嘴巴，你的要双腿 同时继续保持深深地，缓慢的呼吸 在你大量自己的时候，寻找身体上比其他部位更为紧绷的部位，你感觉不适的部位，将精力集中在那，保持深呼吸，缓慢的，长久的深呼吸，当你在呼气的时候试着想象把那种紧绷的感觉也呼出去了，放松。深呼吸，到丹田，然后让紧张随着呼吸离开你的身体。 Acute change PTSD创伤后应激障碍 Post-traumatic stress disorder. Shock treatment 休克疗法 Peak experience: its a generalization for the best moment of the human being, for the happiest moments of life, for experience of ecstasy, rapture, bliss, of the greatest joy. 高峰体验是人类生命中最精彩、最幸福、最令人神醉的时刻，欣喜若狂，极乐体验的高度浓缩。 我发现这种体验一般来自于深度美学体验，包括创作时的喜悦、爱情、完美的性体验、为人父母、自然分娩、以及其他的人生体验。 Its wouldnt last long, its a peak. However, they can and often do have repercussions.震荡效应 A shock treatment of ecstasy Peak experience often have consequences, they can do the same as there as psychotherapy, if one keeps his goals right, and if one knows just what he is about, and if one is conscious of what he is going toward. How to get peak experience: 1. Permission to be human. Acceptance, accepting emotions. 因为大脑中悲伤和快乐的神经通道时同属一路，如果我们拒绝感受悲伤，对悲伤采取压制，同样我们压制了快乐的体验。2. Mindfulness, being present. Listen to the music 3. Time 我们一天中的太多时间活在匆忙之中 作业:描述自己的巅峰体验 Behavior:立刻行动，而不是等待 Facial feedback hypothesis, if you put on a frown now or a nice gentle smile, your body chemistries are actually going to change to reflect whatever your face is showing. Sometimes joy is the source of smile, and sometimes the smile can be the source of your joy. 解释演员入戏很深 抬头挺胸的走路，在骄傲的环境中成长 你的昂首挺胸对外界传递了一个积极地信号，同时这个信号回馈了自己，更加坚定了信念。 第十一课 Fake it till we make it Those whose deeds exceed their wisdom, they wisdom shall endure. But those wisdoms exceeds their deeds, their wisdom shall not endure. 如果我们只从认知水平上去看待知识，即便有灵光乍现的时候，也不会发生什么，除非我们的行为跟上了 假设我们在参加学术讨论或上课之前是这个水平，我们的态度变了，但行为没变，态度会随着时间流逝被习惯又拉回来。 所以只有我们同时改变行为，才能有实质的改变。 To change the course of life, chose one of two basic methods. One, you can direct your energy and attention toward trying to fix your mind, find your focus, affirm your power, free your emotions and visualize positive outcomes so that you can finally develop the confident to display the courage to discover the determination to make the commitment to feel sufficiently motivated to do what it is you need to do. Or you just do it. Most of us most of time are in our comfort