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PRIDE AND PREJUDICEJaneBennet:Lydia!Kitty! MrsBennet:MydearMrBennet,haveyouheard?NetherfieldParkisletatlast.Doyounotwanttoknowwhohastakenit? MrBennet:Asyouwishtotellme,mydear,IdoubtIhaveanychoiceinthematter. ElizabethBennet:Kitty,whathaveItoldyouaboutlisteningatthedoor? LydiaBennet:TheresaMrBingleyarrivedfromtheNorth. KittyBennet:Fivethousandayear! ElizabethBennet:Really? LydiaBennet:Hessingle! JaneBennet:Whossingle? ElizabethBennet:AMrBingley,apparently.Kitty! MrBennet:Howcanthatpossiblyaffectthem? MrsBennet:MrBennet,howcanyoubesotiresome?Youknowhemustmarryoneofthem. MrBennet:Thatishisdesigninsettlinghere? MrBennet:Goodheavens.People. MrsBennet:Soyoumustgoandvisithimatonce. MrsBennet:Forwemaynotvisitifyoudonot,asyouwellknow,MrBennet.Areyoulistening?Youneverlisten. LydiaBennet:Youmust,Papa! MrsBennet:Atonce! MrBennet:Theresnoneed.Ialreadyhave. MrsBennet:Youhave?When?Oh,MrBennet,howcanyouteasemeso?Haveyounocompassionformypoornerves? MrBennet:Youmistakeme,mydear.Ihavethehighestrespectforthem.Theyvebeenmyconstantcompanionsthesetwentyyears. KittyBennet:Papa! MrsBennet:Isheamiable? MaryBennet:Who? KittyBennet:Ishehandsome? LydiaBennet:Hessuretobehandsome. ElizabethBennet:With5,000ayear,itwouldnotmatterifhehadwarts. MaryBennet:Whosgotwarts? MrBennet:Iwillconsenttohismarryingwhichevergirlhechooses. LydiaBennet:Sowillhecometotheballtomorrow? MrBennet:Ibelieveso. MrsBennet:MrBennet!LydiaBennet:Ihavetohaveyourmuslin! KittyBennet:Illlendyoumygreenslippers! JaneBennet:Theyweremine. LydiaBennet:Illdoyourmendingforaweek. KittyBennet:Illretrimyournewbonnet. LydiaBennet:TwoweeksIlldoitfor. KittyBennet:Itsnotthesame! LydiaBennet:Icantbreathe. KittyBennet:Ithinkoneofmytoesjustcameoff. ElizabethBennet:Ifeverymaninthisroomdoesnotendtheeveninginlovewithyou,thenImnojudgeofbeauty. JaneBennet:Ormen. ElizabethBennet:No,theyarefartooeasytojudge. JaneBennet:Theyrenotallbad. ElizabethBennet:Humourlesspoppycocks,inmylimitedexperience. JaneBennet:Oneoftheseday,Lizzie,someonewillcatchyoureyeandthenyoullhavetowatchyourtongue. MrLucas:Howgoodofyoutocome. ElizabethBennet:WhichofthepaintedpeacocksisourMrBingley? MissLucas:Hesontheright.Ontheleftishissister. ElizabethBennet:Thepersonwiththequizzicalbrow? MissLucas:Thatishisgoodfriend,MrDarcy. ElizabethBennet:Helooksmiserable,poorsoul. MissLucas:Miserablehemaybe,butpoorhemostcertainlyisnot. ElizabethBennet:Tellme. MissLucas:10,000ayearandheownshalfofDerbyshire. ElizabethBennet:Themiserablehalf. MrsBennet:MrBennet,youmustintroducehimtothegirlsimmediately. ElizabethBennet:SmileatMrBingley.Smile. MrsBennet:Mary. MrLucas:MrBingley,myeldestdaughteryouknow.MrsBennet,MissJaneBennet,ElizabethandMissMaryBennet. MrsBennet:Itisapleasure.Ihavetwoothers,buttheyrealreadydancing. MrBingley:Delightedtomakeyouracquaintance. MrLucas:AndmayIintroduceMrDarcyofPemberleyinDerbyshire.JaneBennet:HowdoyoulikeithereinHertfordshire? MrBingley:Verymuch. ElizabethBennet:ThelibraryatNetherfield,Iveheard,isoneofthefinestinthecountry. MrBingley:Yes,itfillsmewithguilt.Imnotagoodreader.Ipreferbeingoutofdoors.Oh,Imean,Icanread,ofcourse.AndImnotsuggestingyoucantreadoutofdoors,ofcourse. JaneBennet:IwishIreadmore,buttherealwaysseemstobesomanyotherthingstodo. MrBingley:ThatsexactlywhatImeant. LydiaBennet:Mama,Mama!Youwillnever,everbelievewhatwereabouttotellyou. MrsBennet:Tellmequickly,mylove. MrBennet:Shesgoingtotaketheveil. LydiaBennet:Theregimentarecoming! MrsBennet:Officers? KittyBennet:Theyregoingtobestationedthewholewinter,righthere. MrsBennet:Officers? LydiaBennet:Asfarastheeyecansee. MrsBennet:Oh,look.JanesdancingwithMrBingley.MrBennet. ElizabethBennet:Doyoudance,MrDarcy? MrDarcy:NotifIcanhelpit. MissLucas:Ididntknowyouwerecomingtoseeme.Whatsthematter? MissBingley:WearealongwayfromGrosvenorSquare,arewenot,MrDarcy? MrBingley:Iveneverseensomanyprettygirlsinmylife. MrDarcy:Youweredancingwiththeonlyhandsomegirlintheroom. MrBingley:SheisthemostbeautifulcreatureIhaveeverbeheld.ButhersisterElizabethisveryagreeable. MrDarcy:Perfectlytolerable,Idaresay,butnothandsomeenoughtotemptme.Youhadbetterreturntoyourpartnerandenjoyhersmiles.Foryourewastingyourtimewithme.MissLucas:Countyourblessings,Lizzie.Ifhelikedyou,youdhavetotalktohim. ElizabethBennet:Precisely.IwouldntdancewithhimforallofDerbyshire,letalonethemiserablehalf. MrBennet:Wait! MrBingley:Ienjoyedthatsomuch,MissLucas. MrsBennet:Howwellyoudance,MrBingley. MrBingley:Iveneverenjoyedadancesomuch. MrsBennet:MydaughterJaneisasplendiddancer,isshenot? MrBingley:Sheisindeed.YourfriendMissLucasisamostamusingyoungwoman. ElizabethBennet:Oh,yes,Iadoreher. MrsBennet:Itisapityshesnotmorehandsome. ElizabethBennet:Mama! MrsBennet:Oh,butLizziewouldneveradmitthatshesplain.Ofcourse,itsmyJanewhosconsideredthebeautyofthecounty. ElizabethBennet:Mama,please! MrsBennet:Whenshewas15,agentlemanwassomuchinlovewithher,Iwassurehewouldmakeheranoffer.However,hedidwritehersomeveryprettyverses. ElizabethBennet:Andthatputpaidtoit.Iwonderwhofirstdiscoveredthepowerofpoetryindrivingawaylove. MrDarcy:Ithoughtpoetrywasthefoodoflove. ElizabethBennet:Ofafine,stoutloveitmay.Butifitisonlyavagueinclination,Iamconvincedthatonepoorsonnetwillkillit. MrDarcy:So,whatdoyourecommend,toencourageaffection?ElizabethBennet:Dancing.Evenifonespartnerisbarelytolerable. JaneBennet:MrBingleyisjustwhatayoungmanoughttobe.Sensible,goodhumoured. ElizabethBennet:Handsome,convenientlyrich. JaneBennet:YouknoeperfectlywellIdonotbelievemarriageshouldbedrivenbythoughtsofmoney. ElizabethBennet:Iagreeentirely,onlythedeepestlovewillpersuademeintomatrimony,whichiswhyIllendupanoldmaid. JaneBennet:Doyoureallybelievehelikedme,Lizzy? ElizabethBennet:Jane,hedancedwithyoumostofthenightandstaredatyoufortherestofit.ButIgiveyouleavetolikehim.Youvelikedmanystupiderperson.Youreagreatdealtooapttolikepeopleingeneral,youknow.Alltheworldisgoodandagreeableinyoureyes. JaneBennet:Nothisfriend.Istillcantbelievewhathesaidaboutyou. ElizabethBennet:MrDarcy?Idmoreeasilyforgivehisvanityhadhenotwoundedmine.Butnomatter.Idoubtweshalleverspeakagain.MrsBennet:andthenhedancedthethirdwithMissLucas.MrBennet:Wewereallthere,dear. MrsBennet:Poorthing,itisashameshesnotmorehandsome.Theresaspinsterinthemakingandnomistake.ThefourthwithaMissKingoflittlestanding,andthefifthagainwithJane. MrBennet:Ifhehadanycompassionforme,hewouldvesprainedhisankleinthefirstset. MrsBennet:Oh,MrBennet!Thewayyoucarryon,anybodywoulgthinkourgirlslookforwardtoagrandinheritance. Whenyoudie,whichmaybeverysoon, theywillbeleftwithoutaroofovertheirheadnorapennytotheirname. ElizabethBennet:Please,itsteninthemorning. Betsy:AlettertoMissBennet,maam.FromNetherfieldHall.MrsBennet:PraisetheLord.Wearesaved!Makehaste,Jane,makehaste.Oh,happyday! JaneBennet:ItisfromCarolineBingley.Shehasinvitedmetodinewithher.Herbrotherwillbediningout. MrsBennet:Diningout? JaneBennet:CanItakethecarriage? MrsBennet:Letmesee. JaneBennet:Itistoofartowalk. MrsBennet:Thisisunaccountableofhim. ElizabethBennet:Mama,thecarriageforJane? MrsBennet:Certainlynot.Shellgoonhorseback. ElizabethBennet:Horseback! MrBennet:Lizzie. MrsBennet:Nowshellhavetostaythenight,exactlyasIpredicted. MrBennet:Goodgrief,woman,yourskillsintheartofmatchmakingarepositivelyoccult. ElizabethBennet:ThoughIdontthink,Mama,youcantakecreditformakingitrain. ElizabethBennet:MyfriendswillnothearofmereturninghomeuntilIambetter.Exceptingasorethroat,afeverandaheadache,nothingiswrongwithme.Itsridiculous. MrBennet:IfJanedoesdieitwillbeacomforttoknowitwasinpursuitofMrBingley. MrsBennet:Peopledonotdieofcolds. ElizabethBennet:Butshemayperishwiththeshameofhavingsuchamother.ImustgotoNetherfieldatonce. MissBinley:LadyBathurstisredecoratingherballroomintheFrenchstyle.Alittleunpatriotic,dontyouthink? Servant:MissElizabethBennet. MissBingley:GoodLord,didyouwalkhere? ElizabethBennet:Idid.Imsosorry.Howismysister? MrDarcy:Shesupstairs. ElizabethBennet:Thankyou. MissBingley:Mygoodness,didyouseeherhem?Sixinchesdeepinmud.Shelookedpositivelymediaeval. JaneBennet:Ifeelsuchaterribleimposition.Theyrebeingsokindtome. ElizabethBennet:Idontknowwhoismorepleasedatyourbeinghere,MamaorMrBingley. ElizabethBennet:Thankyoufortendingtomysistersodiligently.Shesinfarbettercomfortthanathome. MrBingley:Itsapleasure.Imean,itsnotapleasurethatshesill.Ofcoursenot.Itsapleasurethatsheshere,beingill.MrBennet:Notgoingtobefamous,ourpig.Blackontheback,butnotrelatedtothelearnedpigofNorwich.Nowthatpigis. MrsBennet:MrBennet.Itsallgoingtoplan.Heshalfinlovewithheralready. MrBennet:Whois,blossom? MrsBennet:MrBingley.Hedoesntmindthatshehasntapenny.Hehasmorethanenoughforthetwoofthem. KittyBennet:Howwillwemeetthem? LydiaBennet:Easy!Waitforme!Youdropsomething.Theypickitup.Andthenyoureintroduced. LydiaBennet:Officers! MissBingley:Youwriteuncommonlyfast,MrDarcy. MrDarcy:Youremistaken.Iwriteslowly. MissBingley:Howmanylettersyoumusthaveoccasiontowrite,MrDarcy.Lettersofbusiness.HowodiousIshouldthinkthem. MrDarcy:Itisfortunate,then,theyfalltomeandnotyou. MissBingley:TellyoursisterIlongtoseeher. MrDarcy:Ivealreadytoldheronce. MissBingley:Idodoteonher.Iwasquiteinrapturesatherbeautifuldesignforatable. MrDarcy:Perhapsyouwillgivemeleavetodeferyourraptures.Ihavenotroomenoughtodothemjustice. MrBingley:Youyoungladiesaresoaccomplished. MissBingley:Whatdoyoumean,Charles? MrBingley:Youpainttables,playthepianoandembroidercushions.Ineverheardofalady,butpeoplesayshesaccomplished. MrDarcy:Thewordisappliedtooliberally.Idonotknowmorethanhalfadozenwomenthataretrulyaccomplished.MissBingley:NorI. ElizabethBennet:Goodness,youmustcomprehendagreatdealintheidea. MrDarcy:Ido. MissBingley:Absolutely.Shemusthaveaknowledgeofmusic,singing,drawing,dancingandthemodernlanguagestodeservetheword.Andsomethinginherairandmannerofwalking. MrDarcy:Andshemustimprovehermindbyextensivereading. ElizabethBennet:Imnolongersurprisedatyourknowingonlysixaccomplishedwomen.Iwonderatyouknowingany. MrDarcy:Areyousosevereonyourownsex? ElizabethBennet:Ineversawsuchawoman.Shewouldcertainlybeafearsomethingtobehold. MissBingley:MissElizabeth,letustakeaturnabouttheroom.Itsrefreshing,isitnot,aftersittingsolonginoneattitude? ElizabethBennet:Itisasmallkindofaccomplishment,Isuppose. MissBingley:Willyounotjoinus,MrDarcy? MrDarcy:Youcanonlyhavetwomotives,andIwouldinterferewitheither. MissBingley:Whatcanhemean? ElizabethBennet:Thesurestwaytodisappointhimwouldbetoaskhimnothing. MissBingley:Dotellus,MrDarcy. MrDarcy:Eitheryouareineachothersconfidenceandyouhavesecretaffairstodiscuss,oryouareconsciousthatyourfiguresappeartothegreatestadvantagebywalking.Ifthefirst,Ishouldgetinyourway.Ifthesecond,Icanadmireyoumuchbetterfromhere. MissBingley:Howshallwepunishhimforsuchaspeech? ElizabethBennet:Wecouldlaughathim. MissBingley:No.MrDarcyisnottobeteased. ElizabethBennet:Areyoutooproud,MrDarcy?Andwouldyouconsiderprideafaultoravirtue? MrDarcy:Icouldntsay. ElizabethBennet:Weretryingtofindafaultinyou. MrDarcy:Ifindithardtoforgivethefolliesandvicesofothers,ortheiroffencesagainstme.Mygoodopinion,oncelost,islostforever. ElizabethBennet:Oh,dear.Icannotteaseyouaboutthat.Whatashame,forIdearlylovetolaugh. MissBingley:Afamilytrait,Ithink.Servant:AMrsBennet,aMissBennet,aMissBennetandaMissBennet,sir. MissBingley:ArewetoreceiveeveryBennetinthecountry?MrsBennet:Whatanexcellentroomyouhave,sir.Suchexpensivefurnishings.Idohopeyouintendtostayhere,MrBingley. MrBingley:Absolutely,Ifindthecountryverydiverting.Dontyouagree,Darcy? MrDarcy:Ifinditperfectlyadequate.Evenifsocietyisalittlelessvariedthanintown. MrsBennet:Lessvaried?Notatall.Wedinewithfourand20familiesofallshapesandsizes.SirWilliamLucas,forinstance,isaveryagreeableman.Andagooddeallessself-importantthansomepeoplehalfhisrank. LydiaBennet:MrBingley,isittrueyouwillholdaballhere? MrBingley:Aball? LydiaBennet:Itwouldbeanexcellentwaytomeetnewfriends.Youcouldinvitethemilitia. KittyBennet:Oh,doholdaball! ElizabethBennet:Kitty! MrBingley:Whenyoursisterrecovers,youshallnametheday. MaryBennet:Ithinkaballisanirrationalwaytogainnewacquaintance.Itwouldbebetterifconversation,notdancing,weretheorderoftheday. MissBingley:Indeed,muchmorerational,butratherlesslikeaball. ElizabethBennet:Thankyou,Mary. MrsBennet:Whatafineimposingplacetobesure,isitnot,mydears?Theresnohousetoequalitinthecounty. JaneBennet:MrDarcy. MrDarcy:MissBennet. MrsBennet:Theresheis. JaneBennet:Idontknowhowtothankyou. MrBingley:Yourewelcomeanytimeyoufeeltheleastbitpoorly. ElizabethBennet:Thankyouforyourstimulatingcompany.Mostinstructive. MissBingley:Notatall.Thepleasureisallmine. MissBingley:MrDarcy. MrDarcy:MissElizabeth. LydiaBennet:Andthentherewasonewithgreatlonglashes,likeacow. MrsBennet:AskMrsHilltoorderusasirloin,Betsy.Justtheone,mind.Werenotmadeofmoney. MrBennet:Ihope,mydear,youveorderedagooddinnertoday.Ivereasontoexpectanadditiontoourfamilyparty.HisnamesMrCollins,thedreadedcousin. MissLucas:Whoistoinherit? ElizabethBennet:Everything.EvenmypianostoolbelongstoMrCollins. MissLucas:When? ElizabethBennet:Hemayturnusoutofthehouseassoonashepleases.Theestatepassesdirectlytohimandnottouspoorfemales. MrCollins:MrCollins,atyourservice.MrCollins:Whatasuperblyfeaturedroomandwhatexcellentpotatoes.ItsmanyyearssinceIvehadsuchanexemplaryvegetable.TowhichfaircousinshouldIcomplimenttheexcellenceofthecooking? MrsBennet:Weareperfectlyabletokeepacook. MrCollins:Excellent.Imverypleasedtheestatecanaffordsuchaliving.ImhonoredtohaveasmypatronessLadyCatherinedeBourgh.Youveheardofher,Ipresume?Mysmallrectoryabutsherestate,RosingsPark,andsheoftencondescendstodrivebymyhumbledwellinginherlittlephaetonandponies. MrsBennet:Doesshehaveanyfamily? MrCollins:Onedaughter,theheiressofRosingsandveryextensiveproperty.IveoftenobservedtoLadyCatherinethatherdaughterseemedborntobeaduchess,forshehasallthesuperiorgracesofelevatedrank.Thesekindofcomplimentsarealwaysacceptabletotheladies,andwhichIconceivemyselfparticularlyboundtopay. MrBennet:Howhappyforyou,MrCollins,topossessthetalentforflatteringwithsuchdelicacy. ElizabethBennet:Dotheseattentionsproceedfromtheimpulseofthemomentoraretheytheresultofpreviousstudy? MrCollins:Theyarisefromwhatispassingatthetime.AndthoughIdosometimesamusemyselfwitharrangingsuchlittlecompliments,Ialwayswishtogivethemasunstudiedanairaspossible. ElizabethBennet:Oh,believeme,noonewouldsuspectyourmannerstoberehearsed. MrCollins:Afterdinner,IthoughtImightreadtoyouforanhourortwo.IhavewithmeFordycesSermonswhichspeakveryeloquentlyonallmattersmoral.AreyoufamiliarwithFordycesSermons,MissBennet? MrCollins:MrsBennet,IhavebeenbestowedbythegoodgraceofLadyCatherinedeBourghaparsonageofnomeansize. MrsBennet:Ihavebecomeawareofthefact. MrCollins:ItismyavowedhopethatsoonImay

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