北京英语高考情景作文植树.ppt

,情景作文,假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二日去郊区植树，请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志的“绿色行动”专栏写一篇以“GreenActioninOurClass”为题的英文稿件。注意：词数不少于60提示词：郊区suburbs,情景作文,假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二日去郊区植树，请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志的“绿色行动”专栏写一篇以“GreenActioninOurClass”为题的英文稿件。注意：词数不少于60提示词：郊区suburbs,审中文信息,标题,图的顺序不能错！,词数,提示词,第一人称过去时,图1.出发图2.种树过程图3.安插提示牌图4.照相留念,审图,四幅图的先后顺序：,图1内容要点及细节,要点,出发,细节,清晨骑车出发风景和心情,Setout,EarlyinthemorningonApril12th；suburbs;bybike；,图2内容要点及细节,要点,种树,细节,挖坑搬树种树浇水,planttrees,arrive;digholes;carrytrees;watertrees;,图3内容要点及细节,要点,安插提示牌,细节,安插提示牌爱护树木,putupaboard,putupaboardsaying”pleaseprotecttrees”,图4内容要点及细节,要点,照相留念,细节,手里拿着种树工具站在小树林和牌子旁心情或感受,takephotos,takephotos;standinarowwithtoolsinhands;besidetheboardandtrees,阅卷过程中发现的问题,时间和地点不清：onApril12th,suburbs,关键词错误：dig-dug，board,字数不足60词-1,无结尾-1,人称错-酌情扣分,时态错-降档,情景作文写作要求,内容要点、上下文的连贯、词汇和句式的多样性及语言的准确性。,考试说明指出：,情景作文评分原则,先看内容定档,重点参考语言质量,注重整体语言运用能力,要点齐全，语言好，进三档以上（12分以上）,缺要点，语言差，四档或五档（11分以下）,情景作文各档范文,高考范文：April12ismemorablebecauseourclasshadameaningfulexperienceonthatday.Inthemorning,webicycledtothesuburbstoplanttrees,talkingandlaughingalltheway.Uponarrival,webegantoworkimmediately.Somewerediggingholes.Somewerecarryingandplantingyoungtrees.Otherswerewateringthem.Aftergettingtheworkdone,weputupaboardremindingpeopletoprotectthetrees.,定档：一档,Beforeleavingwetooksomephotostorecordourgreenaction.Seeingthelinesoftrees,weallhadasenseofachievement.Wefeelitsourdutytoprotectandbeautifyourenvironment.,点评,GreenActioninOurClassIamLiHuafromClass1Senior3inHongXingmiddleschool.OnApril12thourclassorganizedanactivitytoplanttreesinsuburbstomakeourcountrymorebeautiful.EarlyinthemorningonApril12th,myclassmatesandIwenttothesuburbsbybicycle.Andtherewasanawfullotofbreath-takingsceneryonourwaywhichcouldbejustappreciatedinruralareas,greenmountains,goldenwheatfieldandsoon,whichbroughtusgreatjoys.,覆盖了所有内容要点，有细节描述，句式和词汇较丰富，所写内容连贯，结构清晰，体现较强的语言运用能力。17-18分,Whenwegotthere,wewentintoworkingatonce.Someofusdugholestoplanttreesandsomeofustookthelittletreestotheholes.Whatsmore,therewerealsosomecarefulgirlswateringthetreeswhichwerejustplanted.Thankstoourgreatefforts,allthetreesweresoonplantedandtwoofourclassmatesputupaboardreading“loveandprotectthetrees”infrontofthelittleforestmadebyus.Afterallthehardwork,wealsotookphotosofourwholeclasswithtoolsinourhandinfrontofthetrees.Exhaustedbuthappy,wehadasignificantdayandIhopeourcountrywillbemorebeautifulbecauseofthedecoratingoftrees!,点评,ImLiHuaastudentofSeniro3classofHongXingMiddleSchool.Inordertorespondtotheappealationofmakingourcourntrygreener,ourclassdecidedtogotosuburbstoplanttreesonApril,12th.Earlyinthemorning,wewenttothedestinationbybike.Therearemanytreesandricebythesideoftheroad.Onourwaytothere,weenjoyedthebeautifulviewandtalkedhappily.Assoonaswegotthere,webegantowork.Someofusdug,someburried,somewateredandtheresttookthetreestoplaceswhereneedthem.Afterplantingtrees,wechoseanobviousplacetomakeasignread“Protecttreess”standtopreventpeoplefromcuttingtrees.Atlast,wetookphotesinfrontofthetrees.Almostwornoutaswewere,weextremelyexcited,forwedidaqualificationdeed.,基本覆盖了全部内容要点，细节描写不够充分，基本完成规定的写作任务。存在语法和用词等错误。12分,点评,HongXingmiddleschoolhadanactivitytomakethecountrygreenthanbeforeonApril12nd.Classonegreadethreestudentsmadetheactioninsuburbs.Firstofall,theymetatcountryroadinthemorningandwenttothesuburbsbybike.Afterthearrivedatthesuburbstheybegantoplantedthetreeandwateredthetree.Whiletheyfinishedplanting,theymadeasignbesidethetrees.Thewordsinthesignareplaseprotectthetrees.Finallytheytooksomephotosandbacktothehome.Whatameaningfulday!,要点描述不充分；尤其是第二幅图没有展开；所用句式和词汇有限；有语法等表述错误，影响对内容的理解。6分,好句子,Whenwegotthere,itwasstillearly.Weworkedsohardthatwefinishedtheworkquickly.Afterfinishingplantingtrees,weputupaboardremindingpeopleofprotectingthetrees.Standinginfrontofthetrees,wetookaphototorecordthismeaningfulactivity.Itwasourdutytobeautifyournation.,ThatwaswhatIgainfromouractivity.Thesweatrolleddownfromourneck,butwewerestillfullofenergy.Pleasurecanbeseenonourfaces.Wehopedthattherewillbemoreandmorepeopletotakingpartinouraction.Todrawpeoplesattention,wealsoputupasignwhichcalledonpeopleto.Wedidthethingsaswehadplanned.Havingdoneallthesethings,we.HavingfinishedthisGreenAction,Irealizedthat,Everyonegotdowntoworkassoonaswegotthere.FromthatdayonItwashightimeweprotectedourenvironment.,特别提示,注意：1、要点（细节）2、时态人称3、字数4、结尾5、标题6、给分（区分度）7、卷面和书写,写作评分要点：1、定档是关键2、语言质量是关键3、关键词是关键4、要点齐全是关键,Goodsentences,Toughasitwas,everyonewasdevotedtotheworkandnevercomplainedaboutit.IthinkthosebeautifulmomentsareworthanysacrificeNosoonerhadwearrivedtherethaneveryonestartedplantingtrees,Withhighspirits,wesetoutonthebikeintheearlymorning.Cyclingalongtheroadwhichwassurroundedbygreenwoodsandfields,wegraduallygotclosetoourdestinationWebelievedthathumansshouldkeepaharmoniousrelationshipwithnature.Themomentwearrivedthere,webeganourGreenAction.,TomakethisGreenActionsuccessful,wehadpreparedforalongtime.OnarrivingthereLookingatthetreesIhadplanted,IfeltasurgeofsatisfactionIhadneverexperiencedbefore.Imsurethosebeautifulmomentsareworthanysacrifice.Whatwegotwasmuchmorethanwhatwegave.,Allthethingssettled,IputupaboardNosoonerhadwearrivedatthedestinationthanwestartedtoplanttrees.SohappywasIthatIdidntfeeltired,Havingfinishedplantedtrees,twoofusputupaboardwhichread“Pleaseprotecttrees”.Tiredbuth