怎么来帮孩子克服懦弱担小的性格.doc

怎么来帮孩子克服懦弱担小的性格国外儿童心理专家曾举了一个典型的例子：一个4岁的男孩睡觉时梦见一条蛇要咬他，他告诉了妈妈，妈妈便拿出棍子“打蛇”。专家们认为，这样只能给孩子一个屋子里真有蛇的印象，反而更害怕。如果妈妈打开灯，让孩子看看屋里并没有蛇，孩子会安心睡去。可见，正确的教育方法对消除孩子的恐惧是十分必要的。要帮助孩子克服胆怯行为，应注意以下几个方面：1、要顺其自然，切勿操之过急孩子胆怯的不良心理行为是随着年龄增长，在环境和教育的影响下逐渐发展而来的，不能指望一朝一夕就能克服，一定要遵照循序渐进的原则，耐心引导。如孩子不敢自己去买东西，家长可先带着孩子一同购物;告诉孩子购物的一般程序，下次再陪孩子去同一家商店，鼓励要买多少等。开始时孩子可能不敢说话，家长可帮他开个头，然后让孩子接着往下说。几次下来，孩子渐渐熟悉了这家商店后，家长就可以在远处看着孩子自己去购买，以后再让孩子单独去其他商店。2、不要当众指责、羞辱孩子这样只会增加孩子的压力和挫折感，使他更加胆怯和退缩。当孩子不肯叫人时，不要当着客人的面强迫他叫，也不要说“人都不会叫，是个哑巴”等责骂和羞辱的话，而应当等客人离去后再耐心教育和鼓励孩子。3、创造条件，扩大孩子的接触范围家长应有意识地让孩子广泛接触社会，引导孩子与其他人接触，让他在不知不觉中参与到游戏、购物、接待客人等活动中去。对不敢去找别人玩的孩子，可先带他观看别的小朋友游戏，当他被别人的欢乐情绪感染时，请别的小朋友来邀请他，并鼓励他积极参与。4、放手磨练孩子要敢于放手让孩子在生活的海洋中得到磨练。有的家长总是把孩子当成小孩子，或怕其经不起摔打，动不动就说：“你不行”，“你还小”。家长的包办代替会养成孩子胆小怕事的性格，缺乏独立精神和应变能力，一旦离开父母便神色慌张，不知所措。适度的挫折与磨难，对孩子的成长来说，是不可或缺的财富。家长千万不要轻易地将之剥夺，而应该放手让孩子自由玩耍。孩子尤其爱玩沙子、玩泥巴，家长应努力不去干涉他怎么玩。5.树立正面的榜样经常跟孩子说说英雄故事，或引导孩子看一些反映英雄人物的影视片，给孩子买一些这方面的书刊，让故事中人物的英雄言行来潜移默化地影响孩子。给孩子积极的心理暗示，给孩子列举一些他的勇敢行为，如打了没有哭，或仅哭了一小会儿，能大声讲话承认错误等等。家长的榜样很重要。父母自己不该无缘无故地什麽都怕。什麽都惊，如，打雷时，倒是母亲先喊起来。不要遇到一点点事就大惊小怪。例如家长有时不当心划破了手,就不声不响地擦上一些红药水。孩巳看到妈妈一点也不在乎,他遇到类似的事也就不害怕了。还应注重父亲对男孩性格的影响。父亲多和孩子说笑玩耍，注重多与孩子谈论爸爸，让父亲的形象和行为清晰地保持在孩子的心目中。6.多鼓励孩子与他人进行交往在孩子很小的时候，就引导他尽量习惯陌生的环境、陌生的人。可以经常带他去串门，或者去公园，但家长要充满爱心，使他有安全感。在生活中，鼓励宝宝参加各种社会活动，多提供与小朋友交往、玩耍的机会。当孩子一天天长大，要去面对令他困惑的新情境时，父母的鼓励和支持会让孩子知道，一切都是有趣的，一切都是友好的，只需要让孩子拿出更多的好奇和勇气来面对。当孩子面对生人时，当孩子主动结识小朋友时，要表扬他、夸奖他，让他感到这是一件快乐的事。胆怯的孩子一般都不愿意与别人主动交往，下面这两个技巧可以提供帮助：从小范围活动开始邀请一、两个孩子到家里来玩，在自己家里孩子会感到安全。可以玩有组织的游戏，每个孩子都要轮到。家长要在旁边，不要走远，如果孩子想靠在家长身上，就让他靠。家长要安排，但不要给他压力。家长也可以利用孩子的特殊兴趣来鼓励他参与活动，这样可以消除孩子的紧张不安。如果孩子对画画有特殊的兴趣，那么家长就可以帮他邀请一些小朋友，在家里或小区的草地上画画，孩子在这样的小团体里，就能有兴致，而且十分自如地表现自己。久而久之，与人交往的愿望逐渐加强起来。与小一些的孩子玩耍多和比自己孩子年龄小的孩子一起玩，也是行之有效的良方。这样可以给孩子创造更多的自我表现和取得成功的机会，年龄小的孩子也有了“学习的榜样“。家长在此时应多给宝宝创造有利条件，表扬孩子的每一个微小进步，时间长了，孩子就会慢慢地解除心理障碍，日渐大胆甚至可能从容不迫地待人处事了。7.用游戏的方法培养孩子的表现力游戏是孩子的天性，每个孩子都喜欢融入到游戏的情境中。可以用游戏的口吻鼓励孩子在家里进行各种表演。首先让孩子表演给父母看，这样他不会感到羞怯。孩子表演的节目可以是他喜欢和熟悉的任何题材，如一段儿歌、一首唐诗、一段舞蹈等。父母要加以表扬、鼓励，增加孩子的自信心。进一步就可以布置“场景“，让宝宝对“观众“进行表演。这些“观众“可以用洋娃娃、小熊、小狗坐在凳子上来代替，让孩子假想它们是真正的观众，自己正在舞台上单独表演。当然这些观众里面也包括父母。父母尽量要求孩子认真地表演，以获得“观众“的掌声。每当孩子表演完毕，父母就代表所有的“观众”给孩子鼓掌。孩子可以与这些观众握握手，然后谢礼，闭幕，就象在真正的舞台上一样。父母在这个过程中表现得要像真的观众一样。最后，逐渐扩大观众的阵容，让孩子和其他小朋友轮流表演，时间长了，就会锻炼出孩子的表现力。表现力强的孩子是培养出来的。 8.正确对待孩子的退缩行为当发现孩子有退缩行为时，不要拿他跟那些善交际的孩子比较，要体谅他的心情;不可由于心急而粗暴对待，这样会使孩子更加恐惧，更不敢与人接触，尤其不能当着外人说“我这孩子就是胆小“，要积极强化孩子表现出的闪光点，鼓励孩子千方百计克服所遇到的困难;但也不能溺爱，以免孩子从心理上更加依赖父母，而是要以亲切的态度，诱导并鼓励孩子克服心理上的缺陷，去与周围环境及人接触。拓展孩子表现力的方法很多，但千万不要急于求成，否则会吓着孩子，使他又重新缩回到“壳“里去。家长要深入了解孩子产生恐惧心理的原因,有的孩子由于家长常常大声对他训斥,他一听到家长叫他就害怕,有的孩子在洗澡时被烫痛了,他就害怕洗澡等等。家长在孩子遇到一些他预料不到的事时,要对他讲明道理,讲清楚凡事都要当心一点,没有什么可以害怕的。劝慰的语言，孩子害怕时，抱紧他；孩子怕滑滑梯，先抱孩子滑下来；孩子怕雷声，您就静静地抱着孩子，告诉他：妈妈知道你怕雷声，雷只是声音而已，不会伤害你。How to help children overcome cowardly bear little characterPsychological experts abroad children have cited an example: a boy of 4 years old to sleep dreaming of a snake to bite him, he told the mother, the mother took out a stick play snake . Experts think, this can only give a child a snake house really impressed, but more afraid. If the mother to turn on the lights, let the children have a look the house and not the snake, the child will sleep at ease. Therefore, the correct method of education is very necessary to eliminate the fear of the child.To help children overcome the timidity behavior, should pay attention to the following aspects:1, to let go, do not act with undue hasteAdverse psychological behavior of children timid is along with the age growth, the environment and education influence gradually evolved, dont expect a short duration of time will be able to overcome, must follow the principle of gradual and orderly progress, patiently guide. If the child did not dare to buy their own things, parents can first took the children together shopping; tell the general procedure of children shopping, next time again with the kids go to the same store, encouraged to buy much. At the beginning of the child may not dare to speak, parents can help him first, and then let the children continued. Down several times, the children gradually familiar with the store, parents can buy in the distance looking at the children go to, then let the children go to other stores alone.2, dont be denounced, shame the childThis will only increase the childs stress and frustration, make him more timid and retreat. When the children refused to people, not when the guests face forced him to ask, dont tell people would not call, is a mute blame and shame, and shall, after the guests leave again patient education and encourage the child.3, create conditions, enlarge the contact area of childrenParents should let children extensive contacts with the community, to guide the children to contact with others, let him to participate in the games, shopping, guests and other activities in the imperceptibly. To dare not to find someone to play with the children, can take him to watch other children play, when hes been happy mood, please the other little friends to invite him, and encouraged him to actively participate in the.4 children, let go.We must dare to let children be honed in the ocean of life. Some parents always give the child as a child, or if its not beat, motionless on the said: you cant, do you still small . Parents do evevthing on behalf of sb. It will develop the child timid and overcautious disposition, the lack of independent spirit and ability, once leaving their parents is flustered, be at a loss what to do. Setbacks and tribulations moderate, on the growth of children, is an indispensable wealth. Parents dont easily be deprived of, but should let the children free play. The children especially like sand, mud, parents should try not to interfere with him how to play.5 establish a positive role modelOften with children about the hero of the story, or guide the children to see some reflect the heros film, to give to children to buy some of the books, the characters in the story of the hero s words and deeds to influence character by environment influence the children. Give the child a positive psychological hint, give the child some of his brave act, such as playing with no or only cry, cry a little, can speak loudly to admit mistakes.An example of parents is very important. Parents should not it is without rhyme or reason. What are afraid to. What are surprised, such as, the thunder, but mother cried. Dont meet a little things will get excited over a little thing. For example, parents sometimes accidentally cut his hand, they make no reply to rub on some mercurochrome. The child has been to see her mother didnt care, he had also is not afraid of a similar things. Also should pay attention to the fathers influence in the boy character. The father and children laughing and playing, to talk with your child about Dad, let the father figure and behavior clearly remain in the minds of children.6 to encourage children to communicate with othersWhen the children were young, will guide them to customs strange environment, strange people. Can often take him to the door, or go to the park, but parents should be full of love, so that he has a sense of security. In life, to encourage children to participate in various social activities, more contact, and the children play opportunities. When the children grow up day by day, to face the new situation he confused, parents encourage and support will let the child know, everything is interesting, everything is friendly, just need to let the children come up with more curiosity and courage to face. When children face strangers, when the children take the initiative to meet the children, to praise him, praise him, let him feel this is a happy thing. The timid child are not willing to take the initiative to contact with others, these two skills can help:From the scope activities startedInvited one or two children home to play, in their own home the child will feel safe. Can play organized games, each child will turn. Parents should be in the next, dont go far away, if the children want to rely on parents, let him rely on. Parents to arrange, but dont pressure him. Parents can also use a special interest in children to encourage him to participate in activities, it can eliminate the child nervous. If the child has a special interest in painting, so parents can help him to invite some friends, drawing at home or in the grass, the children in this small group, can be interested, and very freely express themselves. In the course of time, with peoples desire to strengthen gradually.Playing with a small number of childrenMore than yourself and younger children children play together, is also effective. This can give the child to create more self-expression and opportunities for success, young children have a learning model . Parents should create favorable conditions for the baby at the same time, for every childs small progress, a long time, the children will gradually lift the psychological barrier, increasingly bold and may even take it leisurely and unoppressively to treat people doing things.7 with the method of the game to develop the childs expressive forceGame is the nature of the child, each child like into the game situation. Can be a variety of performances at home with the tone of the game to encourage children. Let the children first show to their parents, so that he will not feel shy. The children act can be any themes in his love and familiar, like a song, a poem, a dance. Parents should be praised, encouraged, increase their self-confidence. Further you can layout Scene , let the baby show audience . These audience can use the doll, teddy bear, dog sitting in a chair instead, let the children pretend they are the real audience, he is on stage performing solo. Of course, the audience included parents. Parents try to ask the child to show, to obtain the audience . When the child finished performing, parents on behalf of all the audience give the child. The child can shake hands, and the audience and honoraria, closing, just like in the real scene. The parents behave like true as the audience in the process. Finally, gradually expand the audience lineup, let the children and other children take turns performing, time is long, will exercise a childs expressive force. Strong child is trained.8 the right to treat the childs withdrawal behaviorWhen the children found to have withdrawn behavior, dont compare with those sociable child, be considerate of his heart; not as impatient and rough treatment, it will make children more fear, more afraid to contact with people, especially not when there are other people said