Beauty in sound, and sense in Poetry Translation Translation of Classical Chinese Poetry.doc

毕业论文（设计） AbstractAbstract: Classical Chinese poetry, the gem of the Chinese culture and civilization with a long history of three thousand years, is a unity of sound, form and sense. Yet the translated versions usually cannot carry the equal effect and beauty of the original due to the translators lack of skill, the differences between the Chinese language and the English language and the inherent differences of cultures and civilizations between the two nations. A poetry translator should not be satisfied with the mere conveying of the original meaning to the target language, but must strive for the preservation and reproduction of the original beauty in sound, form and sense to the utmost degree so as to best bring out the artistic and musical beauty of the original. In this essay, account is given to each of the three aspects, namely, beauty in sound, beauty in form and beauty in sense separately. Beauty in sound mainly consists of beauty in rhythm and beauty in rhyme; beauty in form refers to the regularity of length of poem lines and the syllables each line contains; beauty in sense, the most important element of a poem, lies in the faithfully and artistically conveying of the meaning of the original, which requires the translators grasp of the classical Chinese literary history and thorough understanding of the context of the original. On this point, the author further divides her argument into four parts. The first part is about several ridiculous English versions of the famous immortal line “烟花三月下扬州“ of Tang poet Libai ; The second part is on the translation of “puns”. To illustrate this point, the author takes two Tang poems as examples, they are respectively Li Shangyins “春蚕至死丝方尽” and Liu Bingxis “道是无晴却有晴”; the third part focuses on the translation of narrative poetry and the author selects the mistaken translations of three lines of Bai Juyis 长恨歌as examples and gives analyses on the mistakes made; The fourth part is about poetry translations that irritate controversial comments. Last but not least is the conclusion of this dissertation, the author unites the three aspects given before into a unity and claims that a good poetry translation should be the preservation and reproduction of the three aspects of the original. Yet due to the formidable barriers in achieving this perfection, sometimes its inevitable to sacrifice one aspect for another less important. Key words: classical Chinese poetry beauty in sound beauty in form beauty in sense 摘 要中国古诗有着三千年历史，是中华民族与文化的精华，它是声、形、意三者的和谐统一。然而，由于译者的翻译水平有限，中文与英文的差异以及两国之间的文化与文明的不同，翻译过的诗歌往往难以传达与原诗同等的效果与美感。一名诗歌译者不应仅仅满足于把原诗的意思完整传递到译文中，而必须尽量把原诗的音、形、意美保持与再创造到最大程度以便能最大程度地传递原诗的美感。在本文中，作者对音美、形美、意美这三个方面分别进行了论述。音美主要指节奏美与压韵美；形美指的是诗段的长短与每段诗句所含音节数量的规律性；意美，诗歌最重要的元素，指的是忠实并灵活地传递原诗的意思这就要求译者对中国古代文学历史知识的掌握与对原诗上下文意思的透彻理解。在阐释这一点上，作者把她的论据又细分为四部分：首先，第一部分是有关李白的著名诗句“烟花三月下扬州”的几种谬译；第二部分是对“双关语”的翻译，为了分析这一点，作者举了两首唐诗作为例子这两首唐诗分别为李商隐的“春蚕至死丝方尽”与刘丙锡的“道是无情却有情”；第三部分集中在叙事诗的翻译上面，作者选择了白居易的长恨歌中三个诗句的谬译作为例子并对这些谬译进行了分析;第四部分是对引起争议的著名诗歌译文的剖析与见解。最后在文章的结尾处，作者把之前论述过的三个方面结合为一体并指出一则好的诗歌译文应该是对这三者的保留与再创造。然而，由于追求完美过程中难以逾越的障碍，有时候为了某个方面而牺牲其它比较次要的方面是难以避免的。关键词：中国古典诗歌 音美 形美 意美 Beauty in sound, form and sense in Poetry Translation Translation of Classical Chinese Poetry From Chinese to English （外语系 黄晓波 指导教师 张宏武）Abstract11.Introduction42. Beauty in sound53. Beauty in form84. Beauty in sense114.1 False translation of a famous line124.2 Translation of “puns”134.3 Translation of narrative poetry154.4 Contemporary on poetry translation that incurred controversial comments165. Conclusion17References191.IntroductionIt has long been believed that prose is words in best order; poetry is the best words in the best order. For me, Poetry, especially the classical Chinese poetry, not only has artistic features but also musical quality that combines sound, form and sense perfectly. Chinese poetry displays to us a fascinating world of great enchantment, intensive affection and profound meaning. In this world, readers can even smell the fresh fragrance of flower given off from the surface of the poetry. With a long history of three thousand years, it is the gem of Chinese culture and civilization. Since good things need good means of conveying, or they will be nothing, to make classical Chinese poetry go farther and get more popularized in the outside world calls for good translation of it. How to translate the Chinese poetry into foreign language with the preservation of its original enchantment to the greatest extent? In my opinion, a poetry translator should be far from satisfied with the mere conveying of the ideas in the original, but must strive for the recreation and reproduction of the original beauty in sound, form and sense. Only in this way, can a translation version best bring out the artistic and musical beauty of the original to the foreign readers. 2. Beauty in soundE. A. poe described poetry as “ musiccombined with a pleasure idea.” LiDongyang, a famous literary critic in the Ming Dynasty claimed that what makes poetry different from prose is that it possesses regulated sounds and can be recited. Similarly, Liu xie, a famous ancient literary critic, once alleged in his The Literary Mind and the Carving of Dragons, “ The words which set to a piece of music are poetry”（ 李特夫、陈健景，2001）. Their remarks unanimously unveiled the mystery of sound, which endows the poetry with unique beauty of “musical quality”. It is obvious to the most uninitiated readers that poetry makes greater use of the “music” of language than does language that is not poetry. Beauty in sound mainly consists of beauty in rhythm and beauty in rhyme. In Chinese classical poetry, rhythm is mainly created by oblique and even tones, which can be reproduced in the English version by stressed or unstressed syllables. That is to say, a poem may be translated in iambics, trochaics, anapaestics or dactylics.As for rhymes, since all Chinese classical poems are written in rhyme, no English versions without rhyme could reproduce a similar effect to the original. Cambridge professor Herbert A. Giles was a most famous translator in the 19th century, and the poems collected in his works were of hundreds of years ago, yet readers of his time were tempted to believe that these translated poems ranked among the best ever known. Giles success was due to the fact that he had united rhyme and literalness with wonderful dexterity.The following is his translation of Tang poet Li Bais 月下独酌 (Drink Alone under the moon) 花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。举杯邀明月，对影成三人。月既不解饮，影徒随我身。暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。永结无情游，相期邀云汉。An arbor of flowers and a kettle of wine:Alas! In the bowers no companion is mine.Then the moon sheds her rays on my goblet and me,And my shadow betrays were a party of three!Though the moon cannot swallow her share of the grog,And my shadow must follow wherever I jog,Yet their friendship Ill borrow and gaily carouse,And laugh away sorrow while spring-time allows.See the moonhow she glancesresponse to my song;See my shadowit dances so lightly along!While sober I feel, you are both my good friends;While drunken I reel, our companionship ends,But well soon have a greeting without a goodbye,At our next merry meeting away in the sky. “ Flowers” in line 1 rhymes with “bowers” in line 2; “wine” in line 3 rhymes with “mine” in line 4; “rays” in line 5 rhymes “betrays” in line 7 In this way, Giles was successful in keeping the English version rhymed to reproduce beauty in sound. To further illustrate the importance and significance of beauty in sound, lets compare three different translation versions of Li Bais静夜思（Night Thoughts）.床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡。 (1) I descry bright moonlight in front of my bed.I suspect it to be hoary frost on the floor.I watch the bright moon, as I tilt back my head.I yean, while stooping, for my homeland more. by Xu Zhongjie.(2) Abed, I see a silver light,I wonder if its frost aground.Looking up, I find the moon bright;Browing, in homesickness Im drowned. by Xu Yuanchong.（3）So bright a gleam on the foot of my bedCould there have been a frost already?Lifting my head to look, I found that it was moonlight. Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home. by Tr. Writter BynnerAlthough those three versions are all considered good, the first and the second versions are better in sound. In the first two versions, line 1 rhymes with line 3; line 2 rhymes with line 4. By contrast, the third one is not rhymed. So far as the beauty in sound is concerned, it is obvious that the first two versions are better for they possess beautiful “musical quality” when read. Musical quality is the unique characteristic of poetry making it distinguished from other literary forms. In addition, compared to the first, the second is not only rhymed, but also succinct in words, which makes it sound like the Chinese regulated verse, while the first uses too many “I” s , which make it sound a little clumsy. 3. Beauty in formWhile listening to music, the audience, without a thorough understanding of the composers true implication, may still be moved deeply, So is the case with classical poetry. Some good poems, in many cases, have not been comprehended, but they, due to the artistic charm in form, have always been spoken highly of. Beauty in form endows poetry, or rather, classical Chinese poetry with musical quality and plays a key role in making them widely appreciated over generations. Zhu Guangqian, an aesthete once said in The Theory of Poetry, “ Form is the soul of poetry.” (朱娥，2001). Poetry, especially classical Chinese poetry, is strict with form. Its better for a verse translator to resemble his version to preserve the beauty of the original in form, which lies chiefly in line length and parallelism.Again look into Giles translation version of “ Drink Alone Under the Moon”, and Its not difficult to find out that all the lines respectively has syllables between five to seven. In addition, “an arbor of flowers” parallels to “a kettle of wine”; “cannot swallow” parallels to “must follow”; “I feel” parallels to “I reel”In this way, Giles not only further reproduces the beauty in sound, but also preserves the beauty in form, striving for making the English version adopt as much musical quality as possible by regulated sound and form.The following is a famous poem of Tang poet Chen ZiAng：前不见古人，后不见来者。念天地之悠悠，独怆然而涕下。Liu Wuji , Professor of Indiana University in America, translated it as :I fail to see ancient before my time,Or after me the generations to come.Thinking of the eternity of Heaven and Earth,All alone, sadly I shed tears.The translation version conveys the beauty of sense, yet its not rhymed, thus, lacks in beauty of sound. In addition, every line is different in length: line 1 and line 2 respectively has eleven syllables, lines 3 has thirteen while line 4 only has eight, thus, lacks in beauty of form. Lets look at another version:Where are the sages of the pastAnd those of future years?Sky and earth forever lastLonely, I shed sad tears.from Translation CommunicationCompared to the former translation, the latter is much better. First, its rhymed; Second, its succinct; third, its well formedthere are six or seven syllables in every line to resemble the original whose lines adopting five or six syllables, and “the sage of the past” more or less parallels to “those of future years”. Just as Xu Yuanchong said: “regularity shows beauty in form”, the latter is much superior to the former and reads much more beautiful.The third example is Li Bais 情怨（Tears）:美人卷珠帘，深坐颦蛾眉。但见泪痕湿，不知心恨谁。Giles translated it as:A fair girl draws the blind aside, And sadly sits with drooping head;I see her burning tear drops glide, But know not why those tears are shed.The original is a five syllable regulated verse. And there are 9 syllables in every line of the translation, which is as regular in form as that of the original. Lets look at another translation version:Beautiful is this woman who rolls up the peal-reed blind, She sits in an inner chamber,And her eyebrows, delicate as a moths antennae, Are drawn with grief. One sees only the wet lines of tears.For whom does she suffer this misery?We do not know.This version by Lowell is inferior to Giles, for both the line length and the syllables in every line are quite different and cannot best convey the beauty in form of the original. Actually, in the process of translation, all the good translations of classical poetry take beauty in form into consideration. The following are two translation versions of Wang Huanzhis 登鹳雀搂（An Ascent to Stork Hall）白日依山尽， 黄河入海流。欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。The setting sun behind the mountains glows,The muddy Yellow River seawards flows.If more distant views are what you desire,You simply climb up a storey higher. by Xu Zhongjie The sun beyond the mountains glows;The Yellow River seawards flows.You can enjoy a grander sightBy climbing to a greater height. by Xu Yuanchong:. Both the two versions deal with the beauty in sound and form masterly. Look into their syllables, you may notice that there are 10 in every line of the first version and 8 in every line of the second one. Whats more, both the two versions are rhymed and paralleled in the first and the second lines. 4. Beauty in senseThe sense is an essential, or rather, the most important component of a poem. The translation of a poem must remain to be a poem. That is the first thing we should never forget. And secondly, it should be faithful to the original. A translator only has the obligation to retain the sense and spirit of the original, but no right to make any alteration, not even for the pure sake of pursuing beauty. Yet if a translation could both convey the original beauty in sense and be faithful to the original in meaning, its better. And this should be a poetry translators consistent aim in the process of translation.4.1 False translation of a famous line Professor Weng Xianliang stated in the Translation Communication（杜承南，文军,1994）. that “烟花三月下扬州”has long been regarded as “ a most splendid and immortal line”, yet from the following four English versions, Im afraid no English reader would agree to that, but simply get totally puzzled. (1) The smoke-flowers are blurred over the river. by Ezra Pound (2) In march, among smoking flowers, making your way to Yangchow. from White Pony(3) He leaves for Yangzhou in the third moon of the spring. by Liu Shishun(4) Mid April mists and blossoms go, by John TournerNone of the four translators realized that this line is so called “a most splendid and immortal line” is just because that the poets friend left for “扬州”(place) at the time of “烟花三月”(time). Neither the “place” nor the “time” can be neglected, or it would not convey the effect of arousing the readers imaginary of beauty. What does “烟花三月”mean? All the four translators mistranslated it by “smoke-flowers”, “smoking flowers”, “the third moon” or “mists and blossoms”. Actually, “烟花三月” has nothing to do with smoke, mist or moon at all. the mistakes were made because all the above translators translated the Chinese words according to its “surface meaning”, which, in the Chinese poetry, cannot always carry the same meaning as its “actual meaning”. A translator has to grasp some historical and cultural knowledge so as to analyze its actual meaning lying under the surface meaning. Just as the Tang Song Selected Poetry Analysis explains: “烟花”refers to the charming spring scenery, where willows are green, and flowers are beautiful”.(承南，文军，1994). Thus, it would be much better for the line to be translated as “Leave for Yangzhou in spring green with willow and red with flowers”.4.2 Translation of “puns”To translate a line faithfully to its “actual meaning” is not an easy job, yet more difficult is the case of translating “puns”. Take Li Shangyins poem for example: 相见时难别亦难，东风无力百花残。春蚕至死丝方尽，蜡炬成灰泪始干 To translate this poem, one should make a study of the background of the poet and know exactly what this poem was written for. Li Shangyin was regarded as “the most amorous male poet” in Chinese history. He was in love with a female Taoist; whats more, this Taoist was living in the palace to serve for the Emperor. Such kind of love was doomed to be vain from the beginning, yet the poet couldnt withhold his intensive affection for her and his love-sick feelings saw no bound. He confided his affection and sadness in his poems and this is one of them. In this poem, “春蚕至死丝方尽” is an immortally famous line, in which the poet expressed his “思”by the homonym of “丝”, meaning that his “思”（love-sick）would be endless until he shall die. This tenderness was realistically crystallized by the image of “春蚕”(silkworm), making the readers more heart-touched. How to translate the pun “丝” to preserve beauty of sense of the original? I extract a translation version form the Translation Communication for your appreciation:Its difficult for us to meet and hard to part,The east wind is too weak to revive flowers dead.The silkworm till its death spins silk from love-sick heart;The candle burned to ashes has tears to shedIn the original, line 1 uses “难” twice, and the translation adopts the translation artifice of “equivalent effect” by using two different words “difficult” and “hard” to equivalently express “难”; In line 2, the translator adopted “depth” translation by adding one verb “survive”, which doesnt surface in the original, but hiding in the depth under the surface, between “东风无力” and “百花残”; In line 3, “丝” was literally translat