八级作文评分标准及范文评析.doc

八级作文评分标准及范文评析 评价一篇作文的得分多少，大致可以参照以下四个标准来确定：内容(content)、组织(organization)、语法(grammar)和得体性(appropriacy)。这四个标准中，前两个标准是关于内容结构的，属于谋篇布局部分；后两个是关于语言的，属于表达部分。在八级考试的作文评阅中，一般将作文分为五个等级： 第五级：18-20分。优秀作文(effective communication with accuracies)这样的作文观点清楚，结构合理，内容充实，语言运用得体，基本没有语言错误。 第四级：15-17分。良好作文(good测communication with few inaccuracies)这样的作文观点明确，结构合理，内容充实，语言运用较得体，稍有语言错误。 第三级：14-12分 及格分。尚可的作文(passable communication with some inaccuracies)这样的作文观点明确，结构完整，内容尚可，语言运用的得体性一般，语言错误不少，影响到作文的理解。第二级：11-8分。问题作文(problematic communication with frequent inaccuracies)这样的作丈观点不甚明确，结构不完整，内容匮乏，语言得体性较差，语言错误较多，影响到作文的理解。第一级：7-0分。失败的作文(almost no communication)这样的作丈基本没有达到 写作要求，几乎无结构和内容可言，通篇充斥语言错误，无语言得体性可言，作文难以理解。从上述的介绍中我们可以看到，一篇作文如果要获得高分，必须兼顾内容、结构和语言表达各个方面，不仅要做到观点清晰，结构完整，内容充实，而且在内容的安排上要合理紧凑，连贯统一。另外，语言表达上也要做到准确、恰当，在语言的结构和词汇的运用上尽可能多样化。2004年的八级作文阅卷中曾明确指出，作文中有漂亮用词more specific ws用句 sentence variety的应适当加分。B. Sample Reading(35MIN)为了进一步说明八级作文的评分情况，也为了有一个更直观的了解，特选取了2005年和2006年全国英语专业八级考试的两组作文，这些文章都是当年八 级考试写作阅卷组选取出来作为评卷打分标准的范例。为了保持文章原貌，在将文章收录于此时未做任何改动。每篇文章之后所附的得分均为阅卷组的评分。此处选取的范文大多为得分较高的文章，每一篇文章之后还附有简单的点评，分别从文章的内容、结构和语言表达等方面人手，简析文章得失，突出文章的出色之处，以期发现得高分的文章之所以得高分的原因。希望能潜心阅读和揣摩，通过体验实战范例体会八级写作的原汁原味，自查自纠，总结经验。范文分析一：2006专八范文Joseph Epstein, a famous American writer, once said, We decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide (so) that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do. But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decisions are ours to make. We decide. We choose. And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed. In the end, forming our own destiny is what ambition is about. Do you agree or disagree with him? Write an essay of about 400 words entitled:Ambition范文1AmbitionAs always being said in a match: the ball is round, everything is possible. In our life, everything is possible to happen. We should know whats more important to decide what to do and not. But all of us have a ideal in the heart to tell us our way to go. Its our ambition. Part of the authors opinion is right that our life is formed with various things but our ambition is not a collection of those things but a creation of our human mind. I will explain the issue in the following three aspects. Firstly, ambition is our ideal. In other words, the ambition is our aims of living. Everyone has their ambition. Its not a collection of things but a personal prospect of the future. We will all have a purpose before we do something, and when we make sure a main purpose of our whole life as to be a scientist or a doctor and so on, it becomes our ambition.Secondly, our ambition plays a great role in our life. It tells us whats more important for us and what should we do or not. Also it acts like a teacher to teach us how to do when we confronted difficulties. Its the main ways of our life and we will go on with our career with its contruct. It services as a engine sometimes.Thirdly, the humanbeing is creative. We all have the ideal of living a better life, so no one will accept the control of their life and the environment. They will of course use their ability of creation to change their conditions of life, to make their ambitions come true. Then it becomes his power of life.Generally speaking, the ambition is ones direction of life and it is necessary to all of us. Every should have their ambition. The world changes to be better at the same time to realize his ambition. (324 words) Score 12 本文观点明确，结构完整，但是内容不够充实。作者试图从三个方面来展开论述，但是每一部分都未能充分展开，缺少实质性的例证，内容空洞，说服力不是，全文有流于空谈之嫌。文章结尾段落的最后一句(The world changes to be better at the same time to realize his ambition)令人费解。另外，语言表达上也有不少错误，如下加线部分所示。故而本文只能归入尚可之列。范文二Ambition One day when a friend visited me, she told a story to me, that is, Joseph Epstein, a famous American writer, once said, “we decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do. As we decide and choose, forming our destiny is what ambition is about.” Actually, there is a heated discussion recently on the issue of ambition. And different people hold different ideas. Some disagree with Joseph whereas others agree with him. As far as I am concerned, ambitious is very important in the formation of our own destiny, and my argument can be illustrated in the following aspects.Firstly, ambition can decide what one will become in the future, and thus can offer inspiration to human beings. I still vividly remember when I was very young, my parents asked me a question, that is, what Id like to be in future. My choice was a teacher and that is my ambition for then and ever. It is because my ambition that I can become an university student in a Normal university in China. Since then, my ambition has helped me a lot and inspired me to study hard and read a lot. For I know that being an excellent teacher, I should arm with knowledge and catch up with the time tides. Today, I can proudly declare that my ambition matters much in my whole life.Secondly, what is your amibition is also weighs your future. If you want to be an useful person in the society, such as a teacher, a actor or a scientist, thats good. But if you decide to control all the people and imagine that you will be the ruler who dominates the whole world, that would be terrible. Take Winston Churchill for example. During the World War Two, Churchill was sad for that the whole world under the attack of a monstrous tranny of Germany and so he was ambitious to become the leader of all troops in the world and thus could lead them to defeat Nazi. Through his efforts, he did lead the troops of England and France to end Nazis life in the end. On the other hand, for the wrong ambition of Nazi leader, he eventually failed in front of people around the world. In conclusion, ambitious in important in inspiring us to become an useful person in our society, and moreover, a right and bright amibition can help you achieve your goal, while a false and wrong one will lead you into destroy. In my opinion, being an university student in the 21th. century, we should have our own ambition and then devote our knowledge and energy to our motherland. (463 words) Score 14 本文观点明确，结构完整，但是论证过程存在不足，尤其是第三段中，作者提到But if you decide to control all the people and imagine that you will be the ruler who dominates the whole world，that would be terrible，但是紧接着却说Take Winston Churchill for example此处出现逻辑上的混乱。从上下文来看，如果说Take Ado1ph Hitler for example，才符合逻辑。本文的开头也有不足之处，作者似乎过于套用模式，用One day when a friend visited me，she told a story to me来引出Joseph Epstein的观点，有画蛇添足之感。再则，作者以Actually, there is a heated discussion recently On the issue Of ambitionAnd different people hold different ideasSome disagree with Joseph whereas others agree with him来引出自己的观点，此套路在本文中并不合适，给读者以生硬做作之感。写作中虽然不乏套路可用，但是须注意用得恰当得体，方不显生硬痕迹。此外，文中有不少语言错误，其中不定冠词an的误用十分刺眼。本文能得14分实属阅卷者笔下留情。范文3AmbitionIs it really true that “Forming our own destiny is what ambition is about”? It appears to be so according to Joseph Epstein, however, as far as I am concerned, even if ambition plays a vital part in our lives, it is and shall be confined, whether by objective circumstances, or by our own capacity of action.To begin with, Epstein believes that we are to make our own choices and decisions, but the formation of such choices and decisions is inevitably confined, to name a few, by the social, economic, and political environment a person lives in, the cherished cultural values and historic conventions of the community that he or she belongs to, the range of knowledge, scope of insight into matters, as well as the world outlook acknowledged, acquired, & formed during the educational process that a person is engaged in, etc. therefore, to hold a strong belief in ones sole decision-making without any influences from others and the outside world is utterly naive.Secondly, even if we admit that one can make decisions according to his or her free will, nonetheless the implementation of them is confined as well. In addition to those binding conditions stated above, in particular the moral standards, legal regulations, as well as other material confines such as economic status are all important and must be taken into consideration while carrying out ambitions. In other words, some dangerous, inhumane, or unrealistic ambitions should never even be given a thought upon. And once they are indeed carded out, there is nothing but severe punishment awaiting, not to mention the tremendous pressure a person will possibly receive. Hence, it is rare to see such outbursts of ambition often in our daily lives, and it is true when applied to other more common ambitions as well.Lastly but most importantly, a person shall never become great if he or she never takes on action. In that case he or she is no more than a pathetic day dreamer. Therefore, the biggest confine to ambition is the capacity of substantial action of the person who bears that ambition, as well as his or her will power to realize it. Without actually “doing” things, we can never possibly “form our lives”.Although Napoleon once said (and I render it) “No good soldiers are without great ambitions”, to form our own destiny in fact demands far more than mere ambition. Meanwhile we should also bear a clear, cold mind in considering what we can do and cannot do, but never become enslaved to an ambitious heart. (428 words) Score 17 本文观点清楚，结构完整，论证有层次感。且论述颇具深度，具有较强的说 服力。作者在论证时指出一个人的抱负受到下面三个方面的限制： (1)人们的行动时常为客观条件和环境以及个人能力所限，难以发挥个人的自由意志； (2)即使个人意志有行动的自由，还会受到法律和道德的约束；(3)惰性的限制。 本文语言比较流畅得体，句式和词汇的运用也较为丰富，错误较少，是一篇上等的佳作。范文4Ambition Nowhere is the word ambition so vividly and accurately defined than in Joseph Epstein s comment that “In the end, forming our own destiny is what ambition is about.” A cosmetic definition as it seems, however, Epstein s words can, on the whole, be interpreted and summarized into one sentence: to be ambitious is to strive for our own personal goals set upon our own values regardless of the possible outcome and controversy . In other words, the two indispensable parts of ambition include; firstly, making your own unique targets; secondly, persisting in achieving these aims without being distracted by others ridicule and scorn.To begin with, visualizing your personal goals instead of drifting among the mass is, undoubtedly, the very prerequisite of the fulfillment of your aims. The reason for this is simple. We ourselves are the best judges of our capabilities and potentials. And the same voice is echoed in Epstein s words that “we decide, what is important and what is trivial in life.” Madam Currie could never have achieved so many honors and breakthroughs in science and the discovery of Radium if she took the same path as majority of the women in her time. It was her decision to devote her time and energy to science not household chores that made her stand out so prominently. On the other hand, she might have been just as plain and mundane as other women if she did not match herself with her personal aspirations and goals. Therefore, having your own goals is essential to the realization of ambition. Then there is the issue of how one should pursue these goals. Again Epstein gave a perfect explanation that “But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these decisions and choices are ours to make.” An excellent statement. There are times when we give up our beliefs and aims simply because of a different perspective of someone else, and there are definitely days when we feel frustrated and beaten in face of scathing scorn from the world. Yet Epstein shows us a higher path on which we are encouraged to stick to our ways and endure in spite of all possible criticism and indifference. And history has proved so many times that persistence regardless of hardship and ridicule wins us victory. Thus it is safe to say that persistence and a firm belief of self is an integral part of ambition. Of course, Joseph Epsteins quotation is definitely richer in content and intended messages than what I have illustrated and developed above, however, the essence of his saying, that ambition is of our own choosing and that we ought to hold fast to it will make its way through close scrutiny and prevail. (457words) Score 20 此文被八级阅卷组评为满分，并有如下评语: 遣词造句准确，词汇句式丰富，结构合理。 文章的开头开门见山，起首第一句就表明了作者的观点，并从分析Joseph Epstein的原话人手，导出下文论述的内容，显得非常自然。第二、三段的正文论述中，作者在恰当的地方顺势插入Joseph Epste