intercultural communication.docx

A Brief Analysis for The Differences Between Chinese and Western Views on Marriage and Love from The Perspective of Intercultural Communication西北大学，西安 710127殷凯凯ABSTRACTThe essence of love and marriage is the embodiment of a nations deep culture, which in turn affects the relationship between the cultural background and the way of love and marriage customs. In the aspects of marriage and love, there are some differences between Chinese and western. What are the reasons for the differences? This paper lists the Chinese and the West in the purpose of marriage, standard of spouse selection and the different relationship between husband and wife, and explore the deep-seated reasons for this difference from the perspective of intercultural communication.Key words: marriage view, intercultural communication, Confucianism摘要婚姻的本质是一个民族深厚的文化的体现，反过来又影响了文化背景与婚恋方式的关系。在婚姻和爱情方面，中国与西方有一定的差异。差异的原因是什么？本文列举了中国与西方在婚姻目的、择偶的标准以及夫妻间的不同关系，并从跨文化交际角度探讨了这种差异的深层次原因。关键字：婚恋观 跨文化交际 儒家The essence of marriage is the embodiment of a nations deep culture, which in turn affects the relationship between the cultural background and the way of marriage customs. Westerners view of marriage and marriage view greatly different, because they think: marriage is purely a private matter, a person can not interfere; at the same time the marriage does not belong to the moral problem, a person has the right to choose their favorite people living together, once found the existing marriage is a mistake, and has the right to do the second choice; if one party of the couple fell in love with the third party, either party will not be subject to condemnation, in their seems forced the two do not love life together is cruel. Chinas traditional view of marriage are generally speaking eternal love, lifelong, the problem is in real life, because crack and even deconstruction appeared such as the problems of the family, small problems can be adjusted and big problems as a matter of principle is hard to sayThere are some differences between Chinese and Western Marriage Ideas in the aspects of the purpose of marriage, the standard of spouse selection and the relationship between husband and wife.1. The differences between Chinese and Western Marriage View 1.1 purpose of marriageThe purpose of marriage is to achieve some desired results through the establishment of a marriage relationship between men and women. The book of rites faint meaning: sexual good, in the ancestral temple and to following generations, therefore gentleman heavy traditional Chinese marriage is: through the marriage of two families of advantage, expand the family alliance, namely bonds; the second is to male family to inherit the family lineage of procreation, namely following the reunification. Todays Chinese society, this concept has been a great impact, often choose love first marriage. And Western Marriage: is fall in love of lover wants love affair is a perfect results; the second is looking for long-term sex partner, so that their own in the physiological and psychological needs are met.1.2The standard of spouse selectionBecause of the different purpose of marriage, there are significant differences between Chinese and Western culture in spouse selection. Chinese people often value the family background, well matched in social and economic status, economic condition, educational level for mate selection criteria; and Western standards of choosing a spouse, the main is two mutually compatible, the conditions of the remaining factors like family background, education and so on are often not considered.1.3 The relationship between husband and wifeIn marriage, the relationship between husband and wife also highlights the greater differences. the traditional China marriage the husband often play role in the leading position of the marriage, and his wife is the subordinate status, the kind of marriage structure is caused by traditional culture division, that is “ men master outside and women master inside.” the husband is the head of the family, the familys pillar, bear the main economic responsibility of family life. his wifes task is to manage the housework, serve her mother in law and their children, after the reform and opening up, peoples economic conditions have been greatly improved than before, many women will do a full-time housewife in the home, and they are supported by her husband. for these full-time wives, people always cast envious eyes, they are praised the lucky, but for a very few the full-time husband as appear in the society, we always despised them very spineless. in west, both husband and wife have jobs outside to bear the economic responsibility of the family, the numerous household chores, the husband and wife are shared by. If you go to a Western home visit, then it is not difficult to find, men under the kitchen is constant, their skills may be even better than his wife; responsibility to take care of the children, the two sides have to share, women are required to give up their professional roles for taking care of the children, her husband also need to bear the responsibility for their childrens education raising, couples also bear the identity of the parents.2. The reasons for the differencesNext, I will briefly analyze the reason of the difference between Chinese and western marriage view from HofstedesModelofCulturalDimensions.2.1 Power distanceHofstede thought that the basic problem of this dimension is the equality between people and people. In all kinds of groups, the inequality of rights is inevitable, and it is functional. This inequality is usually in the form of hierarchy. Right away at all social levels, family, officialdom, and even among friends exist. Every society has different ways to deal with the problem of unequal rights, which forms the difference of values. China is a country with high power distance, it is generally accepted that rights and economic status are unequal which embodied in the concept of marriage is the Chinese people generally accepted mendanghudui. In the traditional concept of marriage in China, mendanghudui is very important. It refers to both mens and womens social status and economic status, occupation, very suitable for marriage. Otherwise, marital discord, children suffer great influence. 1the ancients said the Mendanghudui has its rationality. Family way of life and culture is in a family of generations followed or evolved down, even if the surrounding environment changes are not easily changed. for two families, if there is a similar life habits and similar views of reality, the couple will have more common language and happiness, and they will remain more long-term appreciation of each other, but also will make a marriage lasting vitality.Compared to the Chinese people, the standard of choosing a spouse is very different from that of the Chinese people. Western standards of spouse selection, the most important is the two people fit each other, and the rest of the conditions such as family background, educational level and other factors can not be considered. So we often see news reports in the European royal family to marry a prince of the royal family to do the phenomenon of the princess.2.2 Individualism VS CollectivismThis dimension measures how much members of the culture define themselves apart from their group memberships. In individualist cultures, people are expected to develop and display their individual personalities and to choose their own affiliations. In collectivist cultures, people are defined and act mostly as a member of a long-term group, such as the family, a religious group, an age cohort, a town, or a profession, among others.Chinese people often regarded themselves as a member of the group, and believed that individuals should not be a maverick, but should try to gregarious, keep the harmonious relationship with the group. When personal interests conflict with the interests of the group, the individual should sacrifice their own interests to preserve the interests of the group. But Westerns are just the opposite. They believe that everyone is an independent individual, should be responsible for their own, and stressed the independence of the individual. In the traditional Chinese marriage. Parents order, matchmaker words can often determine the young people can live together, rather than rely on the feelings between two people. And too much emphasizing on collectivism makes many young peoples marriage become a victim of family interests, and lost the right to pursue their own love.In terms of marriage, Westerns fully reflect the characteristics of individualism. They think that marriage is a private matter, others can not interfere. They fell in love with a person, they will do everything possible to overcome various difficulties and obstacles to the pursuit of his love. The characteristic of this kind of person who dares to love and hate is also reflected in different degrees on literary works and film and television. As we all known, American writer Margarets novel gone with the wind which is popular all over the world since it was published. Scarlett firmly grasp the fate, protect her personal privacy and seek personal independence. This belongs not only to Scarlett, but also to the American people. In the movie Titanic Rose fell in love with a penniless artist, irrespective of her mother of opposition, unmarried and fianc. These are the embodiment of individualism. At the same time, the individual who believes that a person as a person has the right to choose and his favorite people live together; if the couple fell in love with the third one, either side will not be condemned. In the view of the individual, it is cruel and inhuman to force two people who are not in love with each other. So the rate of divorce in the United States has always been very high, and childrens separation of parents also most can calm in the face, and not much to lose the shadow of the father or mother, no more that the divorce of their parents is a shame feeling, can frankly tell others: he (or stepfather is a man contacts with the mother) is my mother s boyfriend.2.3 Masculinity VS FemininityIn this dimension, masculinity is defined as “a preference in society for achievement, heroism, assertiveness and material rewards for success.” Its counterpart represents “a preference for cooperation, modesty, caring for the weak and quality of life.” Women in the respective societies tend to display different values. In feminine societies, they share modest and caring views equally with men. In more masculine societies, women are more emphatic and competitive, but notably less emphatic than the