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每日一笑一位父亲正在检查儿子的英语课本,突然谈翻到极其恐怖的一页:yes- 爷死,nice-奶死,bus-爸死,mouth-妈死,jeeps-姐不死,girls-哥儿死,最后是was-我死。他老爸在后面加了句kiss-气死Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didnt have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.Thats fine, roared the boss, but where were you Monday and Tuesday?I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldnt let him aboard. Its too crowded, they shouted. What do you think you are? Im the driver, he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤,还有一个人想挤进来,乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了,”他们喊道,“你以为你是谁?” “我是司机。”他回答说。1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不 去? 小明说:你没听老师说去你个头啊!Mr Chen living next door to us has a habit(习惯) of drinking. The best present to him, of course, is wine(酒). Now his eldest son brought him a bottle of Mao Tai. He was glad and drank it up, then wrote “105” on the corner of the trademark(商标)with a pencil, meaning he had already drunk 105 bottles of the famous wine. Two days later, a stranger came and offered(打算) to pay 5 yuan for the empty Mao Tai bottle. Mr Chen was pleased and sold it. Several days later, his second son brought him another bottle of Mao Tai. While he was examining and enjoying it, he suddenly found “105” the very mark(记号)on it.6. The story is mainly about .A. two sons of Chens B. the best wineC. Mr Chens habit D. an empty bottle of Mao Tai7. The story sells us that the stranger was a man who .A. collected(收集)empty bottles B. produced famous wineC. was a maker of wine D. was a cheat8. Mr Chen sold his empty Mao Tai bottle because .A. he had already drunk the Mao Tai upB. he knew his second son would bring him anotherC. the price offered was high enoughD. he hoped the bottle could be used again9. When examining and enjoying the wine sent by his second son, Mr Chen found that .A. the wine was mixed with water B. the wine was niceC. the wine had exceeded(超过)the time limit(限制)D. his second son had been cheated(欺骗)10. According to the story, who should learn a lesson? .A. The stranger B. Mr Chen and his second sonC. Mr Chens eldest son D. No oneThe Farmer, His Horse, and His sonOnce there was an old farmer, with a horse which was almost as old as himself.He set out one morning with his son to sell the horse before it died. Fatherand son walked, because the farmer did not want the horse to be too tired.They met two men on the road who said, Why are you walking, farmer? You havea horse, Its a long way to market(市场). The farmer know that this was true,so he rode on the horse, while his son walked.Then they met two old women, What are you doing up there, farmer? Cant yousee how tired boy is? So the farmer got down, and his son rode instead.$Next, three old men stopped them, one said, Why are you walking, farmer?Get up, Its too hot for an old man like you to walk today, So the farmer gotup behind his son, and they rode on.Some time later, a young woman passed them, Why arent you walking? sheasked, It isnt far to the market. Give your poor horse a rest.So the farmer, and his son, got down once again. It is a fact that you cannotplease all the people all the time.1. The farmer wanted to sell the horse _.A. before it was deadB. before it become too tiredC. before it market was overD. before it was as old as he was#A2. The two men on the road _.A. asked how far it was to the marketB. said they thought the horse looked very tiredC. asked why the farmer was not riding on his horseD. told the farmers son to get off the horse and walk#C3. The two old women said it was wrong for _.A. the farmer to ride such a tired horseB. the farmer to ride while his young son walkedC. the boy to ride instead of his fatherD. only one person to ride such a long way#D4. The farmer got up behind his son because _.A. the old man said it was too hot for him to walkB. the three old men stopped them on the roadC. he did not know why he was walkingD. his son could not ride the horse by himself完形填空Radio Jim Green is an announcer(播音员)for the program.Most of the girls_1_ boys like the program. They _2_like Jim Green. Some of them often make phone calls to him and thank him _3_ his work. There are lots of _4_ to him every day,too. Jim Green gets up at 6:00 every morning.He has bread and a glass of milk _5_ breakfast. He leaves home at 6:30 and _6_ his office at 7:15. The program _7_ at 7:30.He plays the new records (唱片)of the pop songs and modern music for his listeners. At 8:00 its time _8_ the news. Jim finishes work at 10:30. He goes home _9_ his car.He _10_ newspaper and listens to music after supper. He thinks his life is very interesting. ( )1.A and B with C but D about ( )2.A too B to C also D so ( )3.A to B for C fo D and ( )4.A letter B letters C friends D words ( )5.A at B with C for D to ( )6.A goes B gets C gets to D gets up ( )7.A begins B finishes C over D start ( )8.A to B for C of D in ( )9.A by B in C on D takes ( )10.A looks B reads C sees D watches 二、Youll see a new _1_at a hospitai near London if you go there.He is very clever,_2_he never speaks.He can work 24 hours a day and never gets _3_.He is one metre tall and has a face_4_a TV screen.He is Dr.Robot. Doctors often need to ask their patients a lot of questions._5_ doctors can only spend a few minutes with such patient.But Dr.Robot,a human doctor can_8_a lot of uesful information(信息)when he meets his patient. How can Dr.Robot do this? A computer tell him what to do.Dr.Robot can do a lot of things people can do,though he cant completely_9_the place of _10_ doctors. ( )1.A.sick person B.nurse C.chemist D.doctor ( )2.A.so B.if C.but D.because ( )3.A.tired B.off C.up D.woounded ( )4.A.like B.on C.as D.in ( )5.A.Kind B.Busy C.Free D.Tall ( )6.A.late B.impossibleC.necessary D.interesting ( )7.A.With B.For C.Behind D.Under ( )8.A.spend B.have C.send D.speak ( )9.A.bring B.give C.take D.lead ( )10.A.robot B.computer C.women D.human 三、Mike is an Englishman. He lives in a _1_ building in the _2_ London. There are eighteen floors in the building and he lives on the fifteenth floor. He_3_ a lift (电梯)to go up and down. He works very hard. He_4_ to work early. Every day he leaves his_5_and walks to the lift. He gets into the lift. It _6_him down to the first floor. He gets out of the lift. Then he walks to _7_bus stop. The bus stop is in front of a station. It is about two hundred meters from _8_home. Usually, he catches the number 11 bus to work, but sometimes he goes_9_. He works in a factory about ten_10_ from his home. His work starts at half past eight, and finishes at a quarter to five. He gets back home at half past5. ( ) 1. A. tall B. shot C. small D. large ( ) 2. A. country B. town C. city D. village ( ) 3. A. makes B. uses C. does D. mends ( ) 4. A. begins B. wants C. runs D. goes ( ) 5. A. home B. building C. office D. room ( ) 6. A. costs B. spends C. takes D. brings ( ) 7. A. an B.a C. the D. / ( ) 8. A.his B. he C. him D.himself ( ) 9. A.by plane B. by train C. on foot D. by air ( ) 10. A.meters B. kilometers C. minutes D. hours 四、A Diary Great weather! It was _1_ and hot all day. We _2_ to a beautiful beach. We had great fun _3_ in the water. In the afternoon, we went _4_. On the way, I found a little boy _5_ in the corner. He was _6_. I helped _7_ find his father. That made me _8_ very happy. I didnt have _9_ money _10_ a taxi. So I walked back to the hotel. ( )1.A. wind B. cloud C. sunny ( )2. A. go B. got C. went ( )3. A. play B. played C. playing ( )4. A. shop B.shopping C.shopped ( )5. A. cries B. cried C. crying ( )6. A. lose B. lost C. crying ( )7. A. he B. his C. him ( )8. A. feel B. feeling C. felt ( )9. A. some B. any C.a few ( )10. A. with B. on C. for 五、Dear Dr Know, Im not happy. I have too _1_ rules in my family. I have to _2_ at 6:00 every morning. I cant _3_ my friends after school _4_I have to _5_my dog for a walk. I cant watch TV on school nights. And I have to _6_ in bed by ten oclock. _7_ weekends, I have to clean my room and wash my clothes. Then I have to help my mother _8_ dinner. Later I have to go to the Childrens Palace _9_ the piano. I never have any fun. _10_ can I do? ( )1. A. many B. much C. a few ( )2. A. go to bed B. get up C.go home ( )3. A. watch B. look C. meet ( )4. A. so B. then C. because ( )5. A. bring B. take C. carry ( )6. A. be B. is C. am ( )7. A. In B. On C. At ( )8. A. make B. making C. do ( )9. A. learn B. to learn C. learning ( )10. A. Why B. What C. How 六、On Christmas Eve a few days ago, an English couple, the Hardens, got a very special call. It was only a 20-second call but it was very _11_. The Hardens 15-year-old daughter has gone _12_ six months before. On Christmas Eve she rang them. “Im phoning to wish you a happy Christmas, ”she said, “I love you.” Ronals and Edwine Harden were so _13_ that they started a special telephone service (服务)called“Alive and Well”. The service helps _14_ to get in touch with children who have run away from home. Young people can phone“Alive and Well”and leave a message for their parents. The telephone are answered by answering machines. So _15_ can speak to the ch
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