The Big Bang Theory S06E19生活大爆炸第六季19集台词.doc

What you doing?You said clean up.Im cleaning up.You cant just throw everything in the closet.Hey, you can tell me what to door you can tell me how to do it,but you cant do both; this isnt sex.What if someone looks in there?Theyre just coming over for dinner.No ones gonna look in the closet.Well, you dont know that.What if someones looking for the bathroomand they open that door?Could work out.For all we know, theres a toilet in there somewhere.Fine. But after tonight,we need to get a handle on this mess.You know what we should do?We should show the closet to Sheldon.Why?Are you kidding?Hes like a savant at organizing.Everything in his apartment has a label on it.Including his label maker, which has a labelthat says Label Maker.And if you look really close at that label maker label,youll see a label that says Label.Hes our guest;we cant just ask him to straighten our closet.No, we wouldnt ask him.Wed just show him the closetand let the goblins in his head take it from there.Hey, guys, come on in.-Ooh, it smells good. - Thanks.And, Sheldon, I know tonights the night you eat Thai food,so I went to the Asian market, got all the ingredientsand made it from scratch.Oh, you shouldnt have.Oh, its my pleasure.No, you really shouldnt have.I brought my own.You stopped and got him takeout?I had no choice.He kept kicking the back of my seat.Sheldon, Ive been cooking all day.Well. now dont you feel silly.Show him the closet.These spring rolls are amazing.Good job, Bernadette.Thats the takeout that Sheldon brought.Oh, well, Im sure they wouldnt have tastednearly as good if I hadnt tried your food first.Howard, did you want your clothes arrangedseasonally or by color?Colors fine.Wrong, theyll be arranged seasonally.Sheldon, arent you gonna spend a little time with Amy?Oh, its okay, Im used to it.The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an houroptimizing the cheese aisle.Yeah, and some thanks I got.The assistant manager chased me outwith an artisanal salami.His quirks just make you love him more.Someone please agree with me.Sheldon, come on.Its getting late. Time to go.Oh, five more minutes.Thats what you said five minutes ago.Amy and Penny are already in the car.Lets move it.How come I never get to do anything I want to do?You know, if he really wants to stay and finish,I can give him a ride home.Please, Leonard! He said its okay!Sheldon, its-Wait, I can go home without you? Bye!Howard, I have a few questions.I found three bowling pins.Now, do you juggle these,or are you missing seven?Juggle.You health nuts kill me.Oh, my God, its beautiful!Look, he found the juggling pins I hid.Uh, just a couple more items.Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box.Now, based on the content,it could either be filed.Whoa, you opened this?Well, I had to find out if it was personal correspondenceor memorabilia. Now, as I was saying,- based on the content. - I couldnt be less interested.Now, come on, Ill take you home.Howard, dont you want to know whats in the letter?If I wanted to know, I wouldve opened it years ago.The closet looks great.Lets get out of here.Wait, can I bring this boxof extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride?- Do whatever you want. - Thanks.Great party.You know, when I first met Howard,he would pull his scrotum out of his shortsand say, oh, I sat in gum.What is your point?Well, its just kind of weird how grown up he is now.Happily married guy throwing dinner parties.Really? You couldnt just say that?You had to tell the scrotum story?Trying to paint a picture.Yeah, it was a nice change of pacenot eating takeout around a coffee table.Mm, you know, we could throw a dinner party, too.Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.Sure.Just, when you say Dressed up,you mean nice clothes, right?Not, like, capes and tights and crap?Yeah.- Although. - No!Howie, you okay?Yeah, I just. couldnt sleep.Told you you shouldnt have espresso after dinner.I know the little cups make you feel big,but its not worth it.Its this stupid letter.Did you read it?No.You must be curious.Of course Im curious.I havent seen the man since,oh, I was a little kid.And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday?Whats that about?Why dont you read it?Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left.He abandoned me and my mother.Why does he deserve a chance to explain anything?I get that.So, what do you want to do with it?Something I shouldve done a long time ago.- Really? Are you sure? - Yep.- Feel better? - I do.Great.Neither one of us is tall enough to reach that.I cant believe he set it on fire.Yeah, just seeing that letter really freaked him out.And he was already having a tough daycause he accidentally wore my pants to work.I dont know why he was upset.They were bigger on him than me.Boy, Im really curious whats in that letter.Me, too, but I guess now well never know.Well, you said Sheldon read it.Why not ask him?I cant do that.What kind of wife would I beif I didnt respect my husbands privacy?What if I ask Sheldon,you just happen to be in the room?- That works. - Okay.Like cleaning out the entire buildings belly button.- Hey, Sheldon. - Oh, hello.What can I do for you ladies?You have something we want.Oh, dear.My mother warned methis is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.No, we just want information.Oh, Ive got that in spades.Ravage me.We heard you read the letter from Howards father.I did.What did it say?Yeah.I cant tell you that.Im bound by closet organizer/ organizee confidentiality.Sheldon, thats not a real thing.Well, neither is the rule that you have tohold your girlfriends hand at the movies. You know.That doesnt stop you from pawing at melike youre a bear and Im a trash can full of sweets.Why do you even care?Just tell us what it says.Control over the information contained in that letterbelongs to Howard.By happenstance, I came to know it.That doesnt give me the right to disseminate it freely.Come on. Look, the letter was found in Bernadettes closet.Doesnt that count for something?Are you pointing out that Californiais a community property state,and since Howard and Bernadette are married,the intellectual property contained in that letteris jointly owned by the two spouses?Yeah, obviously.Well played.Sometimes I dont give you enough credit, Penny.Dude, you made the right choicecoming to me for help with this party.Actually, all I did was invite you.Well, put your mind at ease.Im here to make sure your dinner partykicks Howards dinner partys ass.Now, the first thing we need is a theme.Im thinking.ah, turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge.Im thinking you need a testosterone patch.Penny and I just want to do something low-key.You know, cocktails,light jazz music, hors doeuvres.So your theme isI saw a rerun of Mad Menand bought some crab puffs from Trader Joes?Hate to miss that.Hey, where have you been?Oh, Leonard.If I was prone to sarcasm,Id say I was pulling off a major heistat the museum of laundry baskets.One, two, three, four, five,six, seven, eight, nine, ten.I meant, Golly, Sheldon,youve been gone a long time.Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid byPenny, Bernadette and Amy.They made me reveal confidential informationabout Howards father.What information?I cant tell you that.I am bound by closetorganizer/ organizee confidentiality.Well, come on, we wont tell anyone.Sorry, badgering me wont work.What you should have said is,Its pointless to keep this a secretbecause Penny will tell us.- Fine, then that. - All right, Ill tell you.My goodness, everyones on their game today.This is really fun.Yeah, its nice to get dressed up once in a while.Yeah, and hors doeuvres are delightful.As is the company.My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.Hey, uh, listen, everybody.Before Howard gets here, lets all just agreeto not bring up the letter from his father.- Of course. - Sure.Absolutely.If I say yes,can we turn off that Latin orgy music?Ridiculous that we still have to walkup all these flights of stairs.Yeah, try doing it in heels.I am.Wait.Theres something I have to tell you.What?I know what was in your dads letter.Sheldon, I swear to God, Im gonna kill you!I made him tell us.What? Us?Who else knows?- I know. - Me, too.Same here.Shame on all of you.You know, too.Couldnt leave him with one friend, could you?So everybody knowswhats in that letter except for me?Yes, its six against one.Stand down, sir.How could you do this?Im sorry.If you want, we could tell you.No, I dont want to know!I mean,I do, but.I got to go.Used me as a human shield?I panicked.He looked taller than usual.- Howard? - In here.Im sorry.I should have left it alone.Its okay.Sorry I ran off like that.What are you looking at?Uh, pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid.- Thats nice. - I got to tell you,as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing,he did a hell of a job organizing this closet.Look at this.Photos of Wolowitz family before father left forever.Check out nine-year-old Howie with cornrows.Neither race was happy to see me with those.- Think you could take a break? - Why?Got a little surprise for you.Come on.Oh, honey.I am in no mood to have sex tonight.Ill lay there if you absolutelyhave to have it, but.What are you guys doing here?When you left, you werent sure whether or notyou wanted to know what was in your dads letter,so we came up with kind of a cool solution.Oh, yeah, whats that?Its simple, really.It occurred to me that knowing and not knowingcan be achieved by creating a macroscopic exampleof quantum superposition.The-the principlethat a physical system exists partiallyin all its possible states at once.We were all thinking it, really.It was kind of the elephant in the room, so.Anyway, um, I realizeif we each present you with an accountof what your father wrote to you,only one of which is true,and then we dont tell you which one it is,you will forever bein a state of epistemic ambivalence.Yeah.And I said if it wasnt epistemic,we might as well not do it.Sit down, honey.Raj, youre up.Okay, um.It was a card for your 18th birthday.Inside it said,Happy birthday, Howard.I love you. Dad.Oh, and it was a Far Side card,the one where the frog has its tonguestuck to the underside of an airplane.Thinks its a fly.Silly frog. So funny.Sheldon.It was a map leading to the lost treasureof famous pirate One-Eyed Willy.Nice try.Thats the plot for Goonies.-Told you. - Dont.Amy.You didnt know it,but your father was in the auditoriumat your high school graduation.And he cried because he was so proud of you.Really?Or thats complete poppycock which Amy made up.It still could be the map.Penny.It was a letter explainingthat your dad wasnt who he said he was.Eventually, his other life caught up to him,and the only way to keep you and your mom safewas to leave.I would like to change mine.The pirates name was Peg-Leg Antoine.Now its completely different from Goonies.-No, its not. - Dont.Okay, my turn.Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing,and that you should never throw it away like he did.Bernadette.Inside the envelope was a pictureof your dad holding you the da