读书笔记-今天我要学会控制情绪.doc

哈佛情商课EQ CURRICULUM OF HARVARD20150924很久不曾看书了，这次借着为小哲营造阅读气氛的契机，来到了多年前奋斗过杭州图书馆。林立的书架，却不知道什么书适合自己，太久太久没有看书啦。以前一直不敢看心理学类的书本，突破下自己吧，于是哈佛情商课被我带回家中。自认为自己智商有余，而情商不足。看心里学类的书是痛苦的，不光是因为抽象，更因为你需要直面自己，特别是自己的弱点，痛点。不过哈佛课真不是盖的，真知浅显易懂，是不折不扣的心灵鸡汤，滋补。这次终于比较明确知道情商是个什么东西啦，是对自己情绪的控制及对他人情绪的观察力。比起智商来，情商可有用多啦，智商决定的是人的能力，情商则是会改变命运的。呃，明确承认自己确实是情商比较低下呢。对家人特别是老公和儿子，陌生人，工作伙伴，常常HOLD不住自己的情绪，一冲动就脾气上来了。这可能是我不能成功的大障碍吧。重启我的下半生，谨记：1、山羊OR老虎，是由周边的环境及伙伴决定的。一直的山羊在一起，凶猛威武老虎也变成柔弱温顺。2、to be myself, you are your own.别人怎么说只能做参考，决定在于自己。No one can take responsibility of your life, whatever success or failure.3，看不到目标比死亡更可怕。军阀处死犯人的两种选择。4，怀疑自己，你将失去成为苏格拉底的机会5，笑一笑6，想说服对方得先知道他到底想要什么 今天我要学会控制情绪 TODAY I WILL BE MATER OF MY EMOTIONSTo Dear for the Whistle 20151008When I was a child of seven years old, my friends, on a holiday, filled my pockets with coppers. I went directly to the shop where they sold toys for children; and being charmed by the sound of a whistle, that I met by the way in the hands of another boy, I voluntarily offered and gave all my money for one. I then came home, and went whistling all over the house, much pleased with my whistle，but disturbing all the family. My brothers, my sisters and my cousins, understanding the bargain I had made, told me that I paid four times as much as it was worth, put me in mind what good things I might have bought with the rest of the money; and laughed at me so much for my folly, that I cried with vexation; and the reflection gave me more chagrin than the whistle gave me pleasure. This is however afterwards of use to me, the impression continuing on my mind; So that often, when I was tempted to buy some unnecessary thing, I said to myself, “Dont give too much for the whistle”; and I saved my money. As I grew up ,came into the world, and observed the actions of men, I thought I met with many ,very many, who “gave too much for the whistle”.When I met a man of pleasure, who did not try to improve his mind or his fortune but merely devoted himself to having a good time, perhaps neglecting his health, “Mistaken man, said I,” you are providing pain for yourself, instead of pleasure; you are paying too dear to your whistle”.When I saw someone fond of appearance who had fine clothes, fine houses, fine furniture, fine equipages, all above his fortune, and for which he had run into debt, and ends his career in a prison, ”Alas,” said I,” he has paid dear, very dear, for his whistle”. When I saw a beautiful and sweet-tempered girl married to an ill-natured brute of a husband,” What a pity,” said I,” that she should pay so much for a whistle.”In short, the miseries of mankind are largely due to their putting a false value of things and giving “too much for their whistle”.当我7岁时，有一次过节，朋友给我的口袋里装满了硬币。打我立刻的奔向一家卖儿童玩具的店铺。半路上，我却被一个男孩吹哨子的声音吸引住了，于是我用所有的硬币换了他的哨子。回到家里，我非常得意，吹着哨子满屋子转，却打扰了全家人。我的哥哥，姐姐，和堂亲知道我的这个交易后，便告诉我，我为这个哨子付出了比它原价高四倍的价钱。他们还告诉我，用那些多付的钱，我不知道可以买到多少好东西。大伙都取笑我傻，竟使我懊恼得哭了。回想起来，那只哨子给我带来的悔恨远远超过了给我的快乐。不过，这件事情后来却对我很有用处，它一直保留在我的记忆中。因此，当我打算买一些不必要的东西时，我便宜常常对自己说，不要为哨子花费太多，于是便省了钱。我长大了，走进社会，观察人们的行为，感到我遇到很多很多人为了一个哨子付出了过高的代价。当我遇到一个寻欢作乐的人，他不努力改善自己的智力或命运，而只想玩个痛快，也许为此损坏了自己的健康发，我就说“误入歧途的人啊，你真是有福不享自找苦吃，为了你的哨子付出了的代价太高了啊。”当我看到一个人沉迷于外表，或者是漂亮的装束，讲究的住宅，上等的家具，精致的马车，这一切都远远超出了他的收入水平，为了得到这一切，他欠下了债，最后被投入监狱，我说“天啊，为了他的哨子，他付出了太高太高的代价了。”当我看到一个漂亮温顺的姑娘相住对方的甜言蜜语而嫁给一个生性恶劣，人面兽心的丈夫，我说“多么遗憾啊，她为了一个哨子付出了太高的代价。”总之，人们所遭受的悲苦都是由于他们对事物的价值做出了错误的估价而造成的，都是为了他们的哨子付出了太高的代价人。The First Snow20151008 The first snow came. How beautiful it was, falling so silently all day long, all night long, on the mountains, on the meadows, on the roofs of the living, on the graves of the dead. All white save the river, that marked its course by a winding black line across the landscape; and the leafless trees, that against the leaden sky now revealed more fully the wonderful beauty and intricacies of their branches. What silence, too, came with the snow, and what seclusion. Every sound was muffled, every noise changed to something soft and musical. No more tramping hoofs, no more ratting wheels. Only the chiming of sleigh-bells, beating as swift and merrily as the hearts of children. 第一场雪降临了。多么美丽的雪花啊。它整日整夜静静地飘落，落在高山上，落在草地上，落在人们的屋顶上，落在已逝者的坟墓上。世间万物都披上了银装，白色的大地上只见河水如同一条黑线蜿蜒流过；铅灰色的天空下，落尽了叶子的树木伸展着错综的枝杈，显得更加美丽多姿。伴随着飘落的雪花，周围是多么的寂静和空灵。所有的声响都变得低沉，所有的噪音都变得柔和，悦耳。再也听不见得得的马蹄声和遴遴的车轮声。惟有美妙的雪撬声叮当作响，如同孩子们欢快的心灵。Beautiful and Plentiful August20151008There is no month in the whole year, in which nature wears a more beautiful appearance than in the month of August. Spring has many beauties, and May is a fresh and blooming month, but the charms of this time of year are enhanced by the contrast with the winter season, August has no such advantage. It comes when we remember nothing but clean skies, green fields and sweet-smelling flowerswhen the recollection of snow, and ice, and bleak winds, has faded from our minds as completely as they have disappeared from the earthand yet what a pleasant time it is. Orchards and corn-fields ring with the hum of labor; trees bent beneath the thick clusters of rich fruit witch bow their branches to the ground; and the corn, piled in graceful sheaves, or waving in every light breath that sweeps above it, as if it wooed the sickle, tinges the landscape with a golden hue. A mellow softness appears to hang over the whole earth; the influence of the season seems to extend itself to the very wagon, whose slow motion across the well-reaped fields, is perceptible only to the eye, but strikes with no harsh sound upon the ear.一年中还没有哪个月份能比大自然把八月装扮得更美。春光妩媚，五月花开气象新，与冬季对比更显春色魅力。八月缺少这种比照。当人们只记得天高云淡，绿野花香，当人们记忆中的冰雪寒风完全消逝时，八月来了，一个令人惬意的八月时光。时园和麦田呈现一片繁忙，树上硕果累累，压弯枝头，麦子呈一束束幽雅姿态，或随微风摆动，仿佛向镰刀求爱，田野染上一片金黄。大地上空荡着柔和气息；秋的气息似乎体现在那辆马车上，它从容缓慢地行驶在秋收田地上，眼睛看得见，但却听不到刺耳的声音。Love Your Life20151008However mean you life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The faultfinder will find faults in paradise. Love you life, poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poor-house. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich mans abode; the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace. The towns poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any. Maybe they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving. Most think that they are above being supported by the town; but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means, which should be more disreputable. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Turn the old, return to them. Things do not change; we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.不论你的生活如何平庸，你要面对它生活，不要躲避它，更别用恶言咒骂它。它不像你那样糟。你最富有的时候，倒是看似最穷。爱找缺点的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺点。你要看你的生活，尽管它贫穷。甚至在一个济贫院里，你也还要有愉快、高兴、光荣的时候。夕阳从济贫院的窗上反射出来，像富户人家窗上一样光亮；从那门前，积雪同在早春融化。我只看到，一个从容的人，在哪里也像皇宫中一样，生活得心满意足而富 有愉快的思想。城镇中的穷人，我看，倒往往过着最独立不羁的生活。也许因为他们很伟大，所以受之无愧。大多数人以为他们是超然的，不靠城镇来支援他们；可是事实上他们是往往利用了不正当的手段生活，他们是毫不超脱，不体面的。视贫穷如园中花草而像圣人一样培育它吧。不要找新花样，无论是新的朋友或新的衣服，来麻烦自己。找旧的，回到那里去。万物不变，是我们在变。你的衣服可以卖掉，但要保留你的思想。The Road to Success20151008 And here is the prime condition of success, the great secret: concentrate your energy, thought, and capital exclusively upon the business in which you are engaged. Having begun in one line, resolve to fight it out on that line, to lead in it, adopt every improvement, have the best machinery, and know the most about it. The concerns which fail are those which have scattered their capital, which means that they have scattered their brains also. They have investments in this, or that, or the other, here, there and everywhere.” Dont put all your eggs in one basket” is always wrong. I tell you to “put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket.” Look round you and take notice, men who do that not often fail. It is easy to watch and carry one basket. It is trying to carry too many baskets that breaks most eggs in this country. He who carries three baskets must put one on his head, which is apt to tumble and trip him pup. One fault of the American businessman is lack of concentration. 下面给出成功的首要条件，成功的最大秘密：把你们所有的精力，思想和资本都投入到你的事业中。一旦开始做一行，就坚持做到底，采取各种改进措施，使用最先进的设备，通晓所有的相关知识，这样才能在这一行出类拔萃。 企业失败的原因在于分散资本，这意味着分散精流通量。他们投资这个，投资那个或者其他项目，在这里投资，在那里投资，到处投资。“不要把所有鸡蛋都放在一个篮子里”这样的说法完全错误。我要告诉你们的是“把所有鸡蛋都放在一个篮子里然后看紧篮子”。观察周围并仔细留神 ，做到了这一点的人不会常失败。照管和携带一个篮子是简单的。就是因为人们总是试图提很多篮子，从而打破了这个国家大部分的鸡蛋。一次提着三个篮子的人，就得把一个篮子顶在头上，这个篮子就会掉下来并把他绊倒。美国企业家就缺乏这种集中精神。The Last Class2015109 I stepped over the bench and sat down at once at my desk. Not until then, when I had partly recovered from my fright, did I notice that our teacher had on his handsome blue coat, his plaited ruff, and the black silk embroidered breeches, which he wore only on days of inspection or of distribution of prize. Moreover, there was something extraordinary, something solemn about the whole class. But what surprised me most was to see at the back of the room, on the benches which were usually empty, some people from the village sitting, as silent as we were: old Hauser with his three-cornered hat, the ex-mayor, the ex-postman, and others besides. They all seemed depressed ; and Hauser had brought an old spelling-book with gnawed edges, which he held wide-open on his knee, with his great spectacles askew. While I was wondering at all this, Monsieur Hamel had mounted his platform, and in the same gentle and serious voice with which he had welcomed me, he said to us:” My children, this is the last time that I shall teach you. Orders have come from Berlin to teach nothing but German in the schools of Alsace and Lorraine. The new teacher arrives tomorrow. This is the last class in French, so I beg you to be very attentive.” Those few words overwhelmed me. Ah! The villains! That was what they posted at the mayors office. My last class in French! And I barely knew how to write! So I should never learn! I must stop short where I was! How angry I was with myself because of the time I had wasted, the lessons I had missed, running about after nests, or sliding on the Saar! My books, which only a moment before I thought so tiresome, so heavy to carrymy grammar, my sacred historyseemed to me now like old friends, from whom I should be terribly grieved to part. And it was the same about Monsieur Hamel. The thought that he was going away, that I should never see him again, made me forget the punishments, the blows with the ruler. Poor man! It was in honour of that last lesson that he put on his fine Sunday clothes; and I understood now why those old fellows from the village were sitting at the end of the room. It seemed to mean that they regretted not having come oftener to the school. It was also a way of thanking our teacher for his forty years of faithful service, and of paying their respects o the fatherland which was vanishing. 我跨过凳子，马上坐到座位上。我从惊慌中稍稍定下神来，这才注意到，我们老师上身穿着他那件漂亮的蓝色礼服，领口系着折叠得很精致的领结，下身穿着那条刺绣的黑绸马裤，这套装束，只有在上头派人来学校视察或学校发奖时他才穿戴的。此外，整个教室也有一种不同寻常的庄严气氛。但是，最我吃惊的是，看到教室后面平常空着的例子上，坐着一些跟我们一样安静的村里人，有头戴三解帽的奥泽尔老人，有前任镇长，有以前的邮递员，另外还有其他人。所有这些人都显得很忧伤；奥泽尔老人还带了一本边角都已破损的旧识字课本，摊放在膝头上，课本上斜放着他那副大眼镜。 正当我对这一切感到惊诧莫名时，阿麦尔先生登上了讲坛，用欢迎我进学校时对我说话的那种既温和又庄重的声音，对我们说道“孩子们，我这是最后一次给你们上课了。柏林来了命令，阿尔萨斯和洛林两省的学校只准教德语，新的老师明天就到。今天是你们最后一堂法语课，所以我请你们一定专业听讲。” 这几句话使我惊呆了。啊！这些坏蛋，他们贴在村政府布告栏上的就是这个消息。 我的最后一堂法语课。 我只是刚刚学会写字！今后永远也上不了法语课了！法语就到此为止了！我现在是多么悔恨自己浪费了大好时光啊！悔恨自己从前去掏鸟窝，去萨尔河溜冰！我的那些书，我的语法课法，我的神圣的历史书，刚才背在身上还觉得那么讨厌，那么沉重，现在却像老朋友一样，让我难舍难分。还有阿麦尔先生。一想到他就要走了，再也见不到他了，我就忘记了以前的处惩和挨尺子打。 可怜人的人！他身着漂亮的节日盛装，为的是纪念这最后的一堂课。现在，我明白了为什么村里的老人都坐在教室后面。好像他们后悔从前不常来学校。这也像是对我人的老师四十年的优秀教学，对正在消失的国土表示他们的敬意的一种方式。The Man and the Opportunity20151009 The lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of a weak, vacillating mind. Opportunities! Every life is full of them. Every lesson in school or college is an opportunity. Every examination is a chance in life. Every business transaction is an opportunityan opportunity to be polite, an opportunity to be manly, an opportunity to be honest, an opportunity to make friends. Every proof of confidence in you is a great opportunity. Every responsibility thrusts upon your strength and your honor is priceless. Existence is the privilege of effort, and when that privilege is met like a man, opportunities to succeed along the line of your aptitude will come faster than you can use them. Yong men and women, why do you stand here all the day idle? Was the land occupied before you were born? Has the earth ceased to yield its increase? Are the seats all taken? The positions all filled? The chances all gone? Are the secrets of nature all mastered? Is there no way in which you can use these passing moments to improve up yourself or benefit others? Dont wait for your opportunity. Make it , make it as Napoleon made his in a hundred“impossible” situations. Make it, as all leaders of men, in war and in peace, have made their chances of success. Make it, as every man must, who would accomplish anything worth the effort. Golden opportunities are nothing to laziness, but industry makes the commonest chances golden.缺乏机遇是意志薄弱、优柔寡断者永远的借口。机遇！每个人的生命中都充满了机遇。 中学和大学里面的每一堂课都是一次机遇。每次考试都是人生中的一次契机。每一次商业交易都是一次机会一次以礼待人的机会，一次果断行事的机会，一次诚实相待的机会，一次交到朋友的机会，每一次别人对你表现出的信任都是你莫大的机会。每一份加在你的勇气和荣誉之上的责任都是无价的。生存是是努力的特权，当你像男子汉一样面对这种特权的时候，成功的机遇就会随着你的能力接踵而至，甚至让你应接不暇。年轻的小伙子和姑娘们，为什么还裹足不前，虚度光阴？难道在你们出生之前，所有的土地都被人占有了吗？难道大地不再繁衍生息？难道所有的座位都已坐满，所有的职位都被人占据？所有的机会都一去不返？难道你们国家所有的资源都已经被开发殆尽了吗？大自然的奥秘已经被完全通晓了吗？难道没有办法抓信那些稍纵即逝的机会来改造自我，造福他人了吗？不要等待机会。创造机会，正如拿破仑无数次“绝境”中创造生的机会那样。创造机会，就像在战争或和平时期，人类的领袖们创造成功的机会那样。如果想努力成就事业，人人都必须这样做。对懒人来说，即使上天给予了机会，也会无所作为。而勤奋却能让微小的机会变成辉煌。We Are on a Journey20151009 Wherever you are, and whoever you maybe, there is one thing in which you and I are just alike at this moment, and in all the moments of our existence. We are not at rest, we are on a journey. Our life is a movement, and tendency, a steady, ceaseless progress towards an unseen goal. We are gaining something, or losing something every day. Even when our position and our character seem to remain the same, they are changing. For the mere advance of time is a change. It is not the same thing to have a bare field in January and in July. The season makes the difference. The limitations that are childlike in the child are childish in the man.Everything that we do is a step in one direction or another. Even the failure to do something is in itself a deed. It sets us forward or backward. The action of the negative pole of a magnetic needle is just as the action of the positive pole. To decline is to acceptthe other alternative. Are you nearer to your port today than you were yesterday? Yes,- you must be a little nearer to some port or other; for since your ship was first launched upon the sea of life, you have never been still for a single moment; the sea is too deep, you could not find an anchorage if you would; there can be no pause until you come into port. 无论你身在何处，无论你是何等人物，此时此刻，以及我们生命中的每一瞬间，你我之间有一点是相同的：我们不是处于静止状态在，我们正在旅途当中。我们的生活是朝向无形目标的一种运动、一种趋势、一种坚定不移的前时。我们每天都获得某种东西，或失去某种东西。我们的地位和人格看来似乎是没有改变，实际上这些也是在变化的。因为单单时间的推进就是一种改变。同一块荒地，在一月和七月里就有所不同，季节造成差异。智能上的不足，在儿童被视为天真无邪，在成人身上就是幼稚可笑。我们所做的每一件事情，都是朝着某一个方向迈进，甚至“没有做成某件事”，本身也是一种行为，它使我们前进或后退。磁针的阴极作用，正如阳极作用一样真实。拒绝同时也是接受不过是另一选择而已。今天你是否比昨天更接近你的港口呢？是的你一定会向某一个或另一个港口靠近了一些。因为自从你的船第一次驶入人生的海洋开始，你就未曾停息片刻。这片海洋太深了，即使想寻找一个停泊之处也不可得。在驶入港口之前，你是不能停下来的。Gift20151009I want to give you something, my child, for we are drifting in the stream of the world.Our lives will be carried apart, and our love forgotten.But I am not so foolish as to hope that I could buy your heart with my gifts.Young is your life, your path long and you drink the love we bring you at one draught and turn and run away from us.You have your play and playmates. What harm is there if you have no time or thought for us?We indeed, have leisure enough in old age to count the days that are past, to cherish in our hearts what our hands have lost for ever.The river runs swift with a song, breaking through all barriers. But the mountain stays and remembers, and follows her with his love.我想送些东西给你，我的孩子，因为我们同在世界的溪流中漂泊。我们的生命会被分开，你们的爱会被遗忘。但我却没傻到那分上，希望能用我的礼物来收买你的心。你正年轻，你的路还漫长，你一口气饮尽了我们给你的爱，就转身离我们远去了。你有你的游戏，你的玩伴。如果你没有时间和我们在一起，或都你不曾想到我们，是多么伤害？ 事实上，在我们年老时，我们会有足够多的时光追忆往昔，把从我们手中永久失去的东西，放在心里好好珍藏。河水歌唱着奔流而去，冲破所有的堤防。然而大山却留在原地，记住一切，用爱相随着河流。If20151009If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you;If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about, dont deal in lies, or being hated, dont give way to hating, and yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise;If you can dreamand not make dreams your master;If you can thinkand not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken; Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build em up with worn-out tools; If you can make one h