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The Thing Called Love scriptGood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Nashville. lnjust a few minutes, well be preparing our4:45 departure forNew York City. Howdy. How you doing? Applications and pencils are on the bar. Dont steal the pencils. Hurry it up. Doors close at 4:05. Anyone not inside at 4:05 doesnt audition. When I call your name, I want you to come right up on stage. And if its your first time here, I think you should know. that if you dont pass, it just means I dont think youre ready. So go home and keep on writing, and come on back again. -You gonna try for writers night? -Yeah. Im a writer myself. I had a top 20 hit last year. Really? Young writers always hate it when I tell them that. Wanna know what Im still doing behind a wheel. I tell them, live for the moment. But dont ever get a picture of what its gonna be like when you finally hit. cause you aint never gonna be in that picture. One, two, un, deux, trois. -This is it. -This is it? Remember, no matter what it looks like on the outside. -its whats going on inside that counts. -Yeah, I guess. -There you go. -Thanks. Hey, what time is it? -4:15. -4:15. We have to do something about this. -Youre here with me. -What? I had to stop and change a flat tire for you. -which is why Im late. -Hey, wait a second. -James, you know the rules. 4:05. -I know. I just stopped to fix this girls flat tire. -Oh, that was really nice of you. -Which is why- You are a regular Good Samaritan, you are. Next time, let the cab driver change his own tire and you get here on time. You should consider breaking one of those rules sometimes, Lucy. -It might be liberating, if nothing else. -Hey, I dont know him. That whole tire thing, that was his idea. Look, I just came here from the bus station. In fact, all the way from New York, and I mean, I didnt even. Look, I know Im late, but I really did suffer to get here. -What was your name, honey? -Miranda Presley. No relation. Well, Miranda Presley, no relation. there is nothing you can tell anybody in this room about suffering. Theres another audition next week. Hey! You know, I dont appreciate you including me in your lie back there. Especially without asking me. Well, thats a fine point to make. Thank you. Okay. There might be a song in that. I was gonna ask you out for a beer. but Ive since changed my mind. What is that, some kind of line? Yes. Does it work? Sometimes. Rarely. Ill bet. I might change my mind again. Maybe you should change your line. -Thatll be $20. -Ill pay for the whole week. That wont work. Well, the strip is shot. The card is good. You can call it in if you want. No need for that. You said it was good. Never did cotton to the idea of trusting a machine over a person. Youve got an honest face, Miranda. Have I got a room for you. Come on in, sweetie. Sit wherever you want. -Ill be right with you. -Thanks. Applications, pencils are on the bar. Dont steal the pencils. Okay, next. -Linda Lue Linden? -Thats me. Hi. Is that really your name, honey? Im afraid so. Yeah. Hey, my name is Linda Lue Linden. And Im from Briar Hill, Alabama. and I just wrote this one, and its called Heaven Knocked On My Door. I had a dream last night and there you were Standin at my bed Can I start over? I had a dream last night and there you were Standin by my bedside Devil in angels clothin Talkin aboutyourcrazy ride I didnt know what to say at first I couldnt get by those wings Now here I am in the middle ofthe night Talkin to you about somethin -Miranda Presley? -Yeah. Hi. My name is Miranda Presley. Im from New York City, and this song is called Big BarHair. You can see it in the shopping malls Five-foot girls, six feet tall Four-inch heels, fake fingernails Shes checkin out all the sales You could see it from a distance Shes a good ol girl Shes gettin ready to take on the world Gonna torture my hair Gonna burn it blond Gonna tease it beyond repair Gonna camouflage the brains in there Gettin my own big barhair Yeah, Im gettin my own Big barhair All right. Kyle Davidson. Hello. Im Kyle Davidson. Im from Connecticut. This. Im a little nervous, but it really doesnt show. Its called I Cant Understand. lfyou could read my mind Youd know how hard I tried But losing was not myplan And I cant understand With all those tears I cried I should have realized That Id neverholdyou again And I cant understand I cant understand Whyyou left my love behind I cant understand But Ill love you till the end oftime I search my memory All right. James Wright. Oh, Im so nervous, I can hardly stand. You ought to be. I already sold this song and I. I wrote it for a woman to sing, but what the hell. You got a thing or two to learn about me, baby Cause I aint takin it no more and I dont mean maybe You dont know right from wrong The love we had is gone -So blame it on yourlyin, cheatin -So blame it on yourlyin, cheatin -Cold, deadbeatin -Cold, deadbeatin -Two-timin, double dealin -Two-timin, double dealin -Mean, mistreatin, lovin heart -Mean, mistreatin, lovin heart Well, all I wanted was to be yourone and only But all I evergot from you was being lonely Now that is laid to rest Cause you have failed the test Hey, blame it on yourlyin, cheatin, cold, deadbeatin All right, man. Okay. If I call your name. it means youre playing here Saturday night. Be here before 7:00. Nancy Butterworth, Nick Barrett. Tom Mortenson, Janet Hogan. James Wright and Ross Miller. And thank you all for coming. Miss Miranda, come over here a second. Were just congregating. Congratulations. -Thank you. I appreciate it. -Hey, Kyle Davidson. -Hey, Linda Lue, is that your face I see? -Well, it aint nobodys butt. -Your song was pretty tonight. -Oh, it was pretty bad. So, what did you want? What? I was just looking at you up close. -Yeah, there was something- -But you changed your mind? Exactly. Oh, hey, I liked your song. Thanks. -Im Kyle. -I liked your song. Hi. Miranda. I liked yours, too. -Really? -Yeah. So when we meet as friends My heart will break again lfthats how the story ends Then I cant understand -Wow. -Yeah. Was that exactly Kyles song, because I hardly even recognize it. Yeah, that was. That was it exactly. You got a great ear. You got that from hearing me sing it? Well, I dont know if the term sing really applies. Man, they build you up and then they just tear you down. Like they all got the same instruction manual. -Miranda. -Im Linda Lue. -Nice to meet you. -You, too. I really thought your song back there was great. .Id be interested to find out. Do you ladies have any desire to accompany Mr. Wright and me. on an excursion into history? -And where might you be going? -Little midnight ride, maybe. Cause Connecticut Yankee Kyle wants to write a cowboy song. -Thats right, maam. -Well, you want to go? Yeah. All rightie, then. Lets go, little doogies. -Dogies. -Doogies. Dogies. Come on. Hey, look at this guy. Hes smiling for us. Thats no smile. Thats contempt. I had a third cousin who used to be a rodeo clown. Funny thing is, he broke his neck and he died. Well, dont worry about me. I took riding at summer camp. Yeah. The dude ranch in what? New England? Hey, hey, what do you know? Whoa! Kyle Davidson, you are a sight to behold! Ride them, cowboy! The old gray mare, she aint what she used to be many- -Look at me, look at me. -What? -In the eyes. -Okay, okay. -How many fingers am I holding up? -A couple. -How many fingers? -Four or five, yeah. -How many Beatles were there? -Three, and Ringo. -You okay? You okay? -Yes. Oh, hes just fucking with me. -Im just one hell of a country boy. -Just a minor concussion, thats all. Linda, please get the truck, and I gotta secure the horses, here. -Make sure he doesnt fall asleep. -Oh, my God. -Gotta keep him awake and conscious. -Yes, Im fine. Kyle, we have some work on this fence to do for Mr. Wilson tomorrow. -You all right, honey? -Oh, honey. You know, theres this tradition when you first get to Nashville. where you have to go to the tallest mountain. or the top of a building, and throw your head back. and yell as loud as you can, Look out, Music City. cause Im here now and I aint never leaving. -You got that? -Got that. -Thats real nice. Okay. -Dont forget it. I wasnt sure that song was any good until I heard you sing it tonight. -Oh, Kyle, its a beautiful song. -Great, will you do the demo for me. because I dont have anybody else. I dont have any money and I cant pay you or anything. -I got the car. Put on your hat. -Okay. Yeah, sure. -Im sorry. -Yeah, put your arm around there. -Put your arm around my head. -All right. Now, honey, I told you before, hes perfectly fine. -but we just cant release him. -Look, could we at least go back. -and just talk to him? -Honey, cant you try to relax. and Ill let you know. Hes just fine. So, where you been staying? -You know that motel near the Bluebird? -The Drake? -Yeah. -Unreal. Thats where Im staying. What room did you get? -Room 108. -Oh, my God, the dreadful disco room. Yeah, I kind of like it. Yeah, you should see mine. It is so great. Its all done up and everything. Its just, I mean, it looks super. You should come over and see it sometime. -Maybe. -You know what? Im getting an idea. that since were both at the same motel, why dont we just. go ahead and share my room and then we can save some money. You just met me. I mean, you dont even know me. Oh, please. Im an excellent judge of character. I have a touch of the power, you know. I truly do. Daddy, look at me. Are you okay? Youll be fine. Johnson, Room 10. Maam, excuse me, are you the doctor? Can I come in there? -You cant come in. -Daddy, Ill be right here! Ill wait. -Just go. Just wait. -Okay. The more I hurt The less I feel The more I know The less I rest in this Lone star State ofmine -Did you write that yourself? -Yeah, just now. For you. You see, to be honest. Im not particularly fond of hospitals myself. The truth is. my dad went into an emergency room and I never saw him again. -Thats him. -Well, he looks just like Elvis. Hes the other one who doesnt look like Elvis. He gave this to me when I was 10. My decitennial accolade, he called it. He had a name for everything. He raised me since I was 5. Just me and him. So, where was your mom through all this? She split. pretty early on. Presleys my middle name. He had this thing, my dad, about Elvis. Nothing weird. He always wanted to take me to Graceland. but we never made it. Come on. Theres something I want to do. Where we going, baby? Now, dont do it just cause Kyle, that pseudo-hick Kyle, told you to. Hey, its a grand old Nashville tradition. Well, you can bet he tells that to all the girls. who get off the Greyhound bus. Yeah, well, traditions have to start somewhere. Look out, Music City. cause Im here now and I aint never leaving! This is terrible. I cannot watch this. Look out, Music City. cause Im here now and I aint never leaving! Its just so desperate. Well, is this all beneath you, Mr. Cool Guy? Its not that I cant do it. -In fact, I could do it better than most. -Oh, well, then. Look out, Music City. cause here I am and I aint never leaving. There. Look out, Music City. cause Im here now and I aint never leaving! Look out, Music City, cause here I am and I aint never leaving! Look out, Music City. cause Im here now and I aint never leaving! Look out, Music City. cause here I am and I aint never leaving! -Nice view, isnt it? -Its beautiful. -I like it up here. -Yeah. Yeah. Hey, thats not nice. Im sorry. Hes usually not like that. Okay, hes a little jealous. Come on in. Well, excuse me. This is it. This is my casa. If you need anything, you just help yourself. Take either bed. Ive been using this one right here, but that ones good. All right. Hey, Buster. -Oh, his name aint Buster. -Whats his name? Its Mr. Dog. Well, how do you know his first name isnt Buster? Well, because he would have told me. because we discuss practically everything, dont we? I think thats for me. Hello? Hey, Ma. No, I just got in this second. Yeah, yeah. No, everythings fine. Everythings great. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I passed my audition. Yeah, well. I was waiting for you to take a breath, Mama. so I could get a word in edgewise. Yeah, they said, just like Loretta Lynn. Where are you going? Im just going to the coffee shop across the street. Dont wait up. I sentyou two money orders. Linda Lue, are you listening to me? Who are you talking to? No, Im listening, Mama. Oh, thanks. You know, this stuff is keeping you awake. -Thats the general idea. -Well, what you need is sleep, honey. Hey. I was just wondering if I gave you the spare room key. Yeah, you did. Your pajamas have feet? Oh, yeah, I unpacked some of your stuff for you. I put your T-shirts in the second drawer. your underthings, I put those in the top drawer. and pretty much everything else I put in the closet. left to right, light to dark. -You have a lot of black. -Okay, great. See, I cant even wear black. It just completely washes me out. -You aint mad at me, are you? -No. No. I just. I came here to be alone, so I could get some work done. So its nothing personal. I just. Oh, oh. Well, Im sorry. You know, sometimes people arent exactly. the person you might think they are when you first meet someone. Well, if it aint little miss getting my own big bar hair. Yeah, Im working on that line. Is Lucy around? You must be here to see about the waitress job. Oh, no. Im not a waitress. Im a writer. Well, its getting where I cant tell the difference anymore. -Hey, Lucy, come on out here. -Okay. Just a minute, Im coming. -You can call me Floyd. -Hi. Miranda. I kind of help run this place. Well, Miranda Presley no relation. What can I do for you, hon? Shes here to see about Darcys job. You know, Darcy quit when she got a job. with Rodney Crowell singing backup. She met him right here in this club. Yeah, slipped him a tape, which is against the rules. Well, I am here to see you, Lucy, if you have a minute. Sure. Floyd, Im gonna need that fryer working by tonight, now. -Have I ever let you down? -Repeatedly. I wanted to ask you about my audition. You want to know what I thought was wrong with your song? Or what you liked about it. That would be okay, too, right now. Well, I thought your melody was real nice. Youre a good performer, hon. You looked right at home on stage. But? Well, your song is a novelty song. and maybe you need to dig in a little deeper. Let me show you something. You know whats in here? These are all really great songs that were sung here first. Theyre not all hits, but theyre really special songs. Some of them took 10 minutes, some of them took 10 years. But every one of these writers found a way to say something. that meant something to them. You know, country music tries its best to be honest with itself. and when its sad, it says its sad. Okay. Thanks, Lucy. Listen, Miranda, I know youre not interested in this waitress job. but if you change your mind, the hours are 4:00 to closing. And no passing tapes to the customers. Excuse me. Did I thank you for bringing glamour and excitement into my dreary life? I need a light, not a draft. Look at this. This guy wants me to strip at his office party. Dont do it, darling. This labels going bankrupt. Well, thats a good reason for it. This song is called Lone Star State ofMine. Hey, hon. The more I hurt The less I feel The more I know The less I rest in this Lone starstate ofmine The more I hurt The less I feel The more I know The less I rest in this Lone starstate ofmine Say it straight, dont bend my ear When Im walking lost in an evening air You two-step into my I need a Bud, too. ldle home And tearing my song all up with minorchords now The more I solve, the less I work That cant be good forsome boy out oflove Out oftouch, out oflust, out ofsoul, nout ofsong The more I hurt The less I feel Should I say more orless to get real? The more I hurt The less I dream on -Hey. -Hey. -You play a mean cello. -Thanks. Its just a big ma
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