第三次八级模拟参考译文和《桃花源记》.doc

2010年专八翻译试题汉译英朋友之间，情趣相投、脾气对味则合、则交，反之，则离、则绝。朋友之间再熟悉、再亲密，也不能随便过头、不恭不敬，这样，默契和平衡将被打破，友好关系将不复存在。每个人都希望拥有自己的一片私密空间，朋友之间过于随便，就容易侵入这片禁区，从而引起冲突，造成隔阂。待友不敬，有时或许只是一件小事，却可能已埋下了破坏性的种子。维持朋友亲密关系的最好办法是往来有节，互不干涉。For the relationship between friends, similar habits and tempers help to make it closer; on the other hand, opposite ones leave distance from each other. No matter how familiar and intimate the friends are, the relationship should be treated carefully and respect should be treasured for friends. Otherwise, the partnership and balance would be broken, as a result, a good relationship would no longer exist.Everyone has a desire for his own personal space, which could be easily invaded if the attitude between friends is too free. Then conflicts appear, causing barriers. Although it seems a small case of not respecting friends, harmful seeds may be sowed to ruin the relationship. In a word, the best way to keep positive friendship is associating with temperate manners and without too much interference. 英译汉I thought that it was a Sunday morning in May；that it was Easter Sunday，and as yet very early in the morningI was standing，as it seemed to me，at the door of my own cottageRight before me lay the very scene which could really be commanded from that situation，but exalted, as was usual，and solemnized by the power of dreams There were the same mountains，and the same lovely valley at their feet； but the mountains were raised to more than Alpine height，and there was interspaced far larger between them of savannahs and forest lawns；the hedges were rich with white roses；and no living creature was to be seen, excepting that in the green churchyard there were cattle tranquilly reposing upon the verdant graves，and particularly round about the grave of a child whom I had once tenderly loved，just as I had really seen them，a little before sunrise，in the same summer when that child died. 我想那是五月的一个周日的早晨；那天是复活节，一个大清早上。我站在自家小屋的门口。就在我的面前展现出了那么一番景色，从我那个位置其实能够尽收眼底，可是梦里的感觉往往如此，由于梦幻的力量，这番景象显得超凡出尘，一派肃穆气象。群山形状相同，其山脚下都有着同样可爱的山谷；不过群山挺然参天，高于阿尔卑斯峰，诸山相距空旷，丰草如茵，林地开阔，错落其间； 树篱上的白玫瑰娟娟弥望；远近看不见任何生物，唯有苍翠的教堂庭院里，牛群静静地卧躺在那片郁郁葱葱的墓地歇息，好几头围绕着一个小孩的坟墓。我曾对她一腔柔情，那年夏天是在旭日东升的前一刻，那孩子死去了，我如同当年那样望着牛群。原译：桃花源记The Peach Blossom Source:晋太元中，武陵人捕鱼为业，缘溪行，忘路之远近。忽逢桃花林，夹岸数百步，中无杂树，芳草鲜美，落英缤纷；渔人甚异之。复前行，欲穷其林。林尽水源，便得一山。山有小口，仿佛若有光，便舍船，从口入。During the Tai-Yuan period of the Chin Dynasty, a fisherman from Wuling, forgetting how far he had advanced in following a creek, suddenly came to a forest of peach blossoms. For several hundred paces there was no other kind of trees on either bank of the creek. The delightful-smelling grass was beautiful and fresh, and the falling blossoms were scattered in confusion. The fisherman was seized with wonder. He went on further, intending to go through the wood, but where the wood ended at the source of the creek he found a hill with a small opening somewhat lighted. Then the fisherman left his boat and walked through the mouth of the opening. 初极狭，才通人；复行数十步，豁然开朗。土地平旷，屋舍俨然。有良田、美池、桑、竹之属，阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人；黄发垂髫，并佁然自乐。It was rather narrow at first, barely enough for the passage of one person; but after a few more score steps it widens into an open track. A wide plain was brought into view, dotted with houses in distinct order and full of good fields, beautiful ponds, mulberry, and bamboo. It was checkered with highways and paths between the fields; cock-crow and dog-bark in one village were heard in another. The people plying to and fro and working on the farm were all men and women, dressed like the outsiders. Both the grey-haired people and the children with hanging-hair tresses all appeared happy and well-contented评译：This translation is clear and understandable, but there are a number of semantic, syntactic, and rhetorical features which impair its acceptability and effectiveness. There is even a problem in connection with the phrase The Peach Blossom Source in the title. To most English-speaking persons, source suggests the origin, beginning, or agent for some type of production. It would not suggest in this context a spring associated with peach blossoms.The term advanced seems somewhat strange in that it normally suggests some kind of opposition (as in a military context). A more natural expression would be had gone. The phrase a forest of peach blossoms seems unusual. First of all, one would not even speak of a forest of peach trees, much less a forest of peach blossoms. The term forest suggests a large expanse of trees used for wood or lumber but not for producing fruit.The phrase several hundred paces is a perfectly accurate statement of distance, but it is not congruent with the fact that the fisherman was going by boat. The term paces would suggest walking.The plural trees rather than tree is simply a syntactic anomaly.The phrase scattered in confusion, referring to the falling blossoms, has a connotation of something which is not good or proper. Clearly the text is designed to give an impression of beauty, and therefore it would be far more satisfactory to speak of the fallen blossoms as blanketing the ground or carpeting the ground. Though it is possible to speak of the fisherman being seized with wonder, the beauty of the scene would suggest a more positive term than seized, and so the phrase filled with wonder would seem connotatively more fitting. In connection with the same problem of connotative fit, it is important to consider the word creek which for many English speakers has perhaps neutral connotation. In view of the pleasant circumstances and beauty of the scene, it would seem far more satisfactory to use a term such as stream which is normally quite positive in connotation. A term such as brook would probably not be satisfactory since it would imply a volume of water insufficient for a fisherman in a boat.The final phrase of the first paragraph, namely, somewhat lighted, introduces an anomalous feature, since it suggests (without marking to the contrary) that the lighting was artificial, but there is nothing in the context to suggest electricity.The phrase the mouth of the opening seems rather unusual in English. The opening has already been identified in the first paragraph, and it would be perfectly appropriate to render the second part of the first sentence of the second paragraph as walked on in. The use of the term passage represents a typical difficulty in using a nominalized verb. Here it does not fit. The term passage normally suggests vehicular movement, and so it would be far more satisfactory to translate barely enough for one person to pass. The phrase after a few more score steps is unnatural; English would not normally employ few more plus a numerical quantity as attributive to a plural form such as steps. It would seem far more satisfactory to employ a phrase such as in less than a hundred steps.The use of the present tense widens is not in keeping with the general past tense character. Finally, the phrase open track is misleading. The phrase sounds like something involving railroads, but the meaning is probably simply a wide path.The passive expression was brought into view seems rather strange in this context since there was no one who caused this to happen. Furthermore, it would be far better stylistically to introduce what was seen by saying, He saw a wide plain, dotted with houses .A problem of semotaxis is involved in the expression full of good fields, since this does not fit the context of a wide plain. One may readily speak of something being full of something if the object involved is three-dimensional, but normally this would not be true of a two-dimensional area.In the case of mulberry and bamboo, it would be more appropriate to say mulberry trees and a bamboo grove in order to make this expression parallel with good fields and beautiful ponds.The verb checkered might well be applied to the impression given by the various fields, but it is hardly an adequate description of the highways and paths. Furthermore, the term checkered is somewhat negative in connotation. Therefore, it might be better to translate, it was crisscrossed with highways and paths. The expressions cock-crow and dog-bark are literal morphological constructs which violate certain principles of word formation in English. In the story itself, however, the fact that one could hear the crowing of cocks and the barking of dogs is designed to be an important positive element symbolizing the neighborliness of the region. But as a translation of this story for the average American, the fact of being able to hear cocks crow and dogs bark would be a negative feature in such a scene.There is a subtle problem of congruence in the term plying, since this is normally used in contexts speaking of movements in a boat rather than movement on foot. It may be difficult in this same sentence to understand the reference of outsiders. Does this mean those outsiders typical of the fisherman from Wuling, or does it really mean that they were dressed in a strange manner as some foreigners might be dressed?The phrase hanging-hair tresses would not be normally understood by English-speaking persons, and perhaps some note would be required to indicate this ancient custom of hair dress. The disturbing element in the expression is the term hanging. Perhaps a more meaningful expression would simply be old-fashioned hair tresses. But even with this, some footnote might be used.The last word well-contented violates normal morphological formations in English and is somewhat redundant, since well is not necessary to add to contented. In this context, however, the adjective content is stylistically and syntactically appropriate than the participial form.These comments on some of the translational problems involved in these two paragraphs do not cover all of the difficulties, but they may be sufficient to suggest that in the process of transfer it is far too easy to overlook a number of semantic, syntactic, and rhetorical features. A more satisfactory translation of these two paragraphs might be in the following form:改译： 桃花源记 The Story of Peach Blossom Spring晋太元中，武陵人捕鱼为业，缘溪行，忘路之远近。忽逢桃花林，夹岸数百步，中无杂树，芳草鲜美，落英缤纷。During the Tai-Yuan period of the Chin Dynasty, a fisherman from Wuling had forgotten how far he had gone in following a stream. Suddenly he came to a large orchard of peach trees in blossom, and for quite a distance there was no other kind of tree on either bank of the stream. The sweet-smelling gra