电影《初恋50次》的英文台词.doc

50 First Dates scriptSo tell me. How was Hawaii? - It was unbelievable. - Oh, yeah? - Well, what happened? - I met this guy. It was the best week of my life. It was just a little vacation romance. But he was so sweet. He took me to all these cool local places. We went scuba diving. - Snorkeling. - Mountain climbing. We went cliff diving. Well, we got a little drunk. - He gave me. - A back rub. We slow danced. .in the rain. But it wasnt just about the sex. He pounded me like a mallard duck. It ended kind of weird, though. When I asked for his number, he said hes. - Married. - Gay. - Entering the priesthood. - He doesnt believe in phones. He just kind of ran away. You know, it was just a little fling, but. I wont forget my week. .with Henry Roth. - Henry Roth. - Harry. Harry Paratesticles. - Henry Roth. - Henry Roth. - Henry Roth. - Henry Roth. Henry Roth, why didnt you tell me you were a secret agent? I prefer intelligence operative, and I couldnt tell you until I knew you. Well, can I call you when I land? You can call me, but Ill be in Peru. I said that a little loud. Come on, thats a 187, code blue. We got the wolf sleeping at night. Hes slipping his arm in the drawer and out comes the cookie jar. All clear. Got it? Well, maybe when you get back from Peru. - I dont think thats an option, Lisa. - Linda. I know. I changed your name for your protection. We have to go our separate ways now. Well, goodbye. Got it! Moving out! - What the hell is your problem? - Just keep going, Ill give you $20. - You got it. Hows your balls? - Killing me. Hit it. Easy, Honah Lee. Hey, Im a person, not a seal. Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just hold still, or I wont give you a treat. I know, its okay. You see that, kids? You see what happens when you play with sharks? Now, why you gotta spread those lies? Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts. Thats a good title for my documentary. Sharks: They Only Bite When You Touch Their Private Parts. Or you could call it, Sharks: They Tried to Eat My Kidney. All right, enough already. You too, Willie. All of you. He just cast a spell on us. All right. Put this on four times a day for two weeks. - You can handle that. - Whats wrong with that turtle? Lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed. .which is bad for you. Right, Ula? What? I dont smoke weed. Hey, Honah Lee? Hows that hot wahine nympho from Ohio? Great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning. Come on, I need some details. You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on. Daddy, whats a nympho? Oh. The nympho is the state bird of Ohio. Youre the state idiot of Hawaii. Here you go. Bite the fish, chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy. - You crack me up, kamaaina. - Oh, yeah? - One of these days. - Yeah? .youll show one of those tourists such a good time. .shell wanna stay on the island. Why do you say mean things like that. .and why is your foot on my pillow? I dont want your ass on it, either. Get up! Get up! It could happen. Then you wont be able to go on your boat trip to Alaska. Youll be stuck here, waking up next to the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula. - Just kidding, guys. - About the old part or the ugly part? Henry, come quickly! Its Jocko! Jocko! Whats going on with you, buddy? Dont be scared. Everythings gonna be fine. Just stay calm. All right. Willie, I dont need you to see this. Get out of here, now! Okay, check the temperature of the pool. Go! Hurry! What are you doing? I meant check the thermometer! Give me a hand. Lets go! Get me two fish from the barrel. Now. - Okay. - Just hang in there. - Here. - Its gonna be all right. Thats a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel, please. Okay, there. Thats good. Thank you. Come on, buddy, take it. Take it. - Hes not responding! - I know, Alexa! Sorry, I smacked you. You needed the fish-slap to calm down. - Do you understand? Are you calm? - Yes. Fish-slap calm me. Im gonna try to get him breathing manually. .so I need your face next to his mouth to see if its working. - Are you ready? - Yes. - One, two, three! - Nothing, nothing! All right! Try it again. If it doesnt work well perform a tracheotomy. We dont wanna do that, so lets pray this works. One more time. One, two. Thats a lot of vomit. This is why I got into this business. To save sea animals. You should go wash yourself off, okay? Maybe try some turpentine. That might take the stink away. Yeah, high-five is right, buddy. I knew you were gonna burp, but the vomit thing was awesome! Thats what she gets for eating my roast beef sandwich. Willie, did you see that? Captains log: November 5th, 6: 45 a. m. Ive taken the Sea Serpent for a trip around the island of Oahu. It is by far the longest voyage she has yet undertaken. .and its completion will signal that shes ready. .for our great journey to Bristol Bay. .whose unspoiled walrus habitat will yield an abundance of. Damn it! Are you kidding me? Aloha, honey. What can I get for you? I guess Ill take a cup of coffee. - You guess? - Yeah, I already ate breakfast. I need to kill some time before the Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat. What did you eat? I had a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup and some Gatorade. Theyre not breakfast. I get you Spam and eggs. Nick, I need Spam and eggs. Hey. - You like the peanut butter cups? - Yes. Want me to put peanut butter cups in your eggs? No, thats okay. Peanut butter cups. - Hey, Sue, nice haircut. - Mahalo, Lucy. Are you staring at me or her? Because youre starting to freak me out. Settle down and eat your pancakes. I think shes a local girl. I wanted to go up to her. .but I was kind of off my game. But, man, was she cute, though. I thought you liked your bitches from out of state. Yeah, thats usually my policy. Make sure I dont get tied down. Freeze that image right there. Theres the little fella. Congratulations, Mommy. Sounds to me like someone is afraid of commitment. Let me guess. Your high school sweetheart got drunk at party. .then cheated on you with whole wrestling team. Close. Actually, it was my college girlfriend Tracy. And it wasnt a wrestling team. It was her academic advisor. - Oh, she liked the older man. - Older women. About 50 years older. I hope you shot the stupid tramp. Whats with the tramp and the bitches talk? - Are you drunk or something? - I apologize for nasty talk. I am grouchy due to lack of recent physical intimacy. Shut up, because here comes one-time-only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked. Next move is up to you. I may not be as limber as I once was. .but I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment. I dont know if you realize, Im not into guys. Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups. Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch. How you doing? - Youre back. - Couldnt get enough of that Spam. Fry some up and throw some eggs on it. - You got it. - All right, mahalo. - Hi, Lucy. - Hi, Nick. You know, why dont you try this? Its kind of a hinge. - Now, why didnt I think of that? - Well, youre too close to the project. Dont be hard on yourself. Right. Sometimes you need an outsiders perspective. Fresh eye never hurts. Im Lucy. Yes. Im Henry Roth. - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. Its pretty. Keep up the good work. Wait. I see youre sitting there alone. Do you wanna come and sit down? - Sure, thatd be great, if thats all right. - Okay. - So are you an architect? - I am not. Im in fish. Oh, thats where the smell is coming from. Yeah, yeah, I was feeding a walrus this morning. .and I thought I got most of it off of me, but guess I didnt. - I love that smell. - No, you dont. - Fish dont even like that smell. - No, I do. My dads a fisherman. He and my brother Doug, they go out to sea for months at a time. And I miss them so much while theyre gone that when they come back. .I just hold on to them for five minutes each. And they smell just like your hands. Its the best smell in the world. Well, my fingers are available. .for your sniffing pleasure anytime you need them. - Wanna? - Okay. Sea lions are known for their athleticism. .and dolphins are known for their intelligence. - Walruses are known for their. - Tusks? Their tusks. Also their male parts can get pretty gigantic. Yeah, yeah, its the second biggest out of all the mammals. - Whats the first? - I think Tattoo-Face. I like your laugh. I like you making me laugh. I hate to break this up, but were setting up for lunch. Oh, okay. Sorry, Sue. And the real cool thing about walruses is theyre very mysterious. - Mysterious? - Yeah, yeah. We dont really know what theyre like in the wild. Dont they just sleep on icebergs and yawn all the time? All we really see is what they do outside of the water. .but who knows what they do under the ice. .where they spend two-thirds of their lives. Well, maybe theyre intimidating the other creatures with their big winkies. That is one theory. - I have to go. - Where you going? Its my dads birthday, and we go every year and we pick a pineapple. - Its a tradition. - That sounds nice. Okay, well. .I had a great time. - Me too. - Okay. Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning, same time? - Because I teach an art class at 10. - Really? - Yeah. - I wish I could make it. .but, yes, I will be there. - Take care. - Okay. - One for the road. It is fishy. - Got you good. - Aloha. - Aloha! See you tomorrow. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Shit. I had a bee on me. - All right. - He was a big one. Which means look at those two shitheads. That was the stupidest-looking swing Ive ever seen. Im gonna take a Molokai on that one. No throwing. Come on. Stop laughing, you hyenas. Lets see what you get. Okay, you heard me. Go! Go! Show papa what you got. - You suck, youre good at everything. - Father of the Year strikes again. By the way, cuz, I met this sexy, blond tax attorney at Starbucks today. I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island. You want her number? You pimping tourists for me again? Yes! I live vicariously through you, remember? My life sucks. Now, come on. Give her the Waikikiki sneaky between the cheeky. Ula needs it. I imagine I did it and then I can get through another weekend. Im staying in. Sorry. Thank you, though. - What? - Hey, Dad! Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau. But your stitches are bleeding. It mustve been my huge back-swing. You think you can stitch me up after I get back from surfing? - Yeah, looking forward to it. - I wouldnt surf with a wound like that. You might attract a shark. Whats wrong with that? Sharks are naturally peaceful. Is that right? Howd you get that nasty cut, anyway? A shark bit me. Nice. Go smoke another one, bro. That shark theorys starting to catch on. Now, will everybody keep it down. .while I whack the crap out of this thing? Sit! Stay! Shit! No! Where the hell is it? Looking for something? Oh, my God! What are you doing here? The same thing you are. Looking for my ball. This is weird. Ive been thinking about you all morning, all day. Cant wait to have breakfast with you again. I know. And I just wanna eat you up. - Really? - Yeah. Tomorrow and the next day. - . and the next day and the next day. - All right. Okay. Oh, my. Oh, Lucy, that feels so good. No, my nipples are too sensitive. Stop that. - What happened? - Your ball hooked into that cart. .bounced back and hit you in the head. It was freaking hilarious. - What? - Whos Lucy? And whats up with your nipples? I cant be falling for a local. I aint ever going back to that diner. - This where you got hit? - Yes! Youre so lucky youre a professional cliff diver in Hawaii. - Yeah, well, its a living. - Im a tax attorney. - We never get to have any fun. - Is that right? Id like to do something extra fun tonight. Taking it deep, arent you? How about another fishbowl for the lady? - Why dont I just tap a keg for her? - Okay. I think Im getting kind of drunk. - Are you getting drunk? - Getting there. So, what are you thinking? What am I thinking? Actually, Im not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you. .because theres no alcohol in these drinks. Sadly, Ive used this technique many times. It helps lovely tourists, such as yourself. .loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake. .and have guilt-free, vigorous sex with me. - Wow. - Im sorry. Im not a cliff diver, either. Im afraid of heights. Well, since its my last night in town. .can I pretend you didnt just say that and still have sex with you anyway? I cant do it. Im sorry. Well, can you at least point me in the direction of someone who can? That guy over there could help you out. - Isnt that a woman? - Jeez, Im not really sure. But youre too drunk to notice, remember? Take care. - Hey, you. Aloha. - Aloha. Not aloha, hello, aloha, goodbye. Were closed today. Go away. - What are you talking about? - Order up! - Dont move. I have to talk to you. - Okay. - Hey! Tattoo-Face! - Hey, Peanut Butter Cups! Hi. Hi. My fingers are extra fishy today, if you care to take a whiff. What was that? I was petting my walrus all morning and thinking of you the whole time. Okay, pervert. I think that you should leave. What? I was joking because of what we talked about yesterday. Yesterday? Ive never even met you. - Nick! I need help! - Coming, Lucy. Nick, put that down. Ill handle it. - You, follow me. - Wait a. Whats going on? I was kidding around with you! Whats happening here? Is she crazy or something? Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people. Okay. About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident. She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple. Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury. She lost her short-term memory. So she cant remember anything? No, no, no, she has all of her long-term memory. Thats a different part of the brain. Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers. She just cant retain any new information. Its like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps. Hold on. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl. .so shed stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl? I wish I was making this up! She has no memory that she ever met you. What about the pineapple-picking thing? She says that every day, because each morning. .she wakes up thinking its October 13th of last year. She comes for breakfast because thats what she did on Sundays. .and October 13th was a Sunday. She has no idea its more than a year later. She reads the newspaper. Its a special paper her father puts on their porch. Its from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed. Lucy does the same thing every day. - Hello! - Back here. - Hi, Dad! - Oh, hi, sweetie. You got one without me. The lady at the farmers market gave it to me as a birthday present. I didnt wanna hurt her feelings. I think she likes you. - Yeah, whats not to like? - What about our tradition? Well, I have another idea. I painted my workshop yesterday. White. Now its too white. Gives me a headache. Oh, yeah, you definitely need some color in here. Well, you know, thats what I was thinking. - Really? - Yeah. Go nuts. - Paint me something for my birthday. - I will. And promise that we can pick a pineapple for Thanksgiving, okay? - Sounds great. - Okay, good. Hey, you should watch the Vikings game while Im painting. Good idea. - Yeah, baby. Isolate. - What are we eating tonight, Doug? - Spaghetti, Pop. - Try not to sweat in the sauce. Sorry, Pop. Go Vikings. Seven hundred and five. Seven hundred and six. - Seven hundred and seven. - Hey, you guys. Hey, sweetie. Hows the painting coming? - Youll see. - Cool. - Oh. Whats the score? - The Vikings are on the two-yard line. - If they score, they bring it to 14-10. - Maybe theyll win for your birthday. And Ill bet Culpepper runs it in. Ill bet he fakes a handoff to Williams, throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone. - Loser does the dishes? - Youre on. .keep the offense on the field. Culpepper fakes a handoff to Williams. He will throw. Hes got Kleinsasser in the end zone! Touchdown, Minnesota. Doug, youre good. Maybe you should be a coach. - Dad. - Moron! That hurt. And you dont l