生活大爆炸字幕 TBBT the big bang theory S01E13.docx

100:00:00,940 - 00:00:03,380ew,more details about the new star trek film.200:00:03,730 - 00:00:07,230theres going to be a scene depicting spocks birth.300:00:07,720 - 00:00:10,610id be more interested in the scene depicting spocks conception.400:00:12,060 - 00:00:16,430oh please,for vulcans,mating,or if you will pon farr500:00:17,760 - 00:00:19,310the extremely private matter.600:00:19,410 - 00:00:21,290still id like to know the details.700:00:21,410 - 00:00:24,440his mother was human his father was vulcan, that couldnt just conceive.800:00:24,540 - 00:00:25,730maybe they had to go to a clinic.900:00:26,070 - 00:00:30,800imagine spocks dad in a little room with a little copy of pointy ears and shapely rears.1000:00:32,540 - 00:00:35,290How come in Star Trek everyones private parts are the same1100:00:35,920 - 00:00:39,890no alien lady have told captain kirk, hey get your thing out of my nose.1200:00:42,830 - 00:00:44,940hi can you help me iwas writing an email1300:00:44,940 - 00:00:46,300and the a key got stuck1400:00:46,300 - 00:00:48,310now its just going aaaaaaaa1500:00:49,530 - 00:00:50,730what did you spill on it?1600:00:51,000 - 00:00:51,700nothing1700:00:52,640 - 00:00:53,530diet coke1800:00:55,340 - 00:00:56,570and yoghurt1900:00:57,330 - 00:00:58,680a little nail polish2000:00:58,780 - 00:01:00,120ill take a look at it2100:01:00,700 - 00:01:03,340gentlemen, switching to local nerd news2200:01:03,860 - 00:01:08,230fishman chan.2300:01:08,420 - 00:01:09,660youre kidding, why not?2400:01:09,790 - 00:01:14,490they formed a barber shop quatet and got a gig playing knotts berry farm(诺氏果园，南加州一主题公园)2500:01:15,640 - 00:01:17,520wow, so in your world2600:01:18,050 - 00:01:20,110youre like the cool guys2700:01:20,910 - 00:01:22,330Recognize（答对了）2800:01:24,210 - 00:01:25,630this is our year2900:01:25,600 - 00:01:29,380entire Physics bowl will kneel before Zod,3000:01:29,480 - 00:01:29,810zod?3100:01:30,380 - 00:01:32,900- Kryptonian villain, long story - good story3200:01:37,040 - 00:01:39,310- count me out - what? why?3300:01:39,590 - 00:01:42,580you wanna use my intelligence in a tawdry competitio3400:01:43,310 - 00:01:45,290will you ask picasso to paint picturnary3500:01:48,830 - 00:01:48,830will you ask noah webster to play boggle?3600:01:50,180 - 00:01:52,680will you ask jacques cousteau to play gold fish?3700:01:54,400 - 00:01:57,280cmon, you need a 4 person team, were four people.3800:01:57,380 - 00:02:02,760by that reasoning, we should also play bridge, hold up a chuppah and enter the olympic bobsled competition.3900:02:03,730 - 00:02:05,800tickets to that plz.4000:02:06,710 - 00:02:10,450sheldon, what? do i need to quote spocks dying words to you?4100:02:10,550 - 00:02:11,480no, dont.4200:02:12,760 - 00:02:14,050- the needs of the many4300:02:14,050 - 00:02:16,440outweigh the need of the few4400:02:16,590 - 00:02:17,410or the one4500:02:18,680 - 00:02:20,580damn it, ill do it.4600:02:21,830 - 00:02:26,020-=/bbs=-proudly presents4700:02:29,230 - 00:02:35,330-=/bbs=-sync:咔肉肉4800:02:39,060 - 00:02:42,810the big bang theory season 1 episode 134900:02:46,470 - 00:02:49,040ok, first physics bowl business5000:02:49,850 - 00:02:51,960we need to truly kick-ass team name5100:02:52,620 - 00:02:53,230suggestions?5200:02:53,490 - 00:02:56,280how about the perpetual motion squad?5300:02:57,230 - 00:03:01,130its beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads-up for the ladies.5400:03:02,050 - 00:03:06,790- the ladies? - perpetual motion suqad, we can go all night.5500:03:06,790 - 00:03:08,360- i like it - i dont5600:03:09,140 - 00:03:13,540teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidaing ones opponent.5700:03:13,770 - 00:03:15,650then we could be the bengal tigers ?5800:03:15,750 - 00:03:16,540poor choice5900:03:16,540 - 00:03:21,260graham for graham, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strengths of the army ant6000:03:22,540 - 00:03:26,880maybe so. But you cant incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass6100:03:30,450 - 00:03:32,390Lets put it to a vote.All those in favor.6200:03:32,400 - 00:03:33,300point of order.6300:03:33,310 - 00:03:36,130I move that any vote onteam names must be unanimous.6400:03:36,140 - 00:03:38,910No man shoulbe forced to emblazonhis chest with a bengal tiger6500:03:38,920 - 00:03:42,490when common sense dictatesit should be an army ant.6600:03:42,500 - 00:03:46,560Will the gentleman from the greatstate of denial yield for a question?6700:03:46,570 - 00:03:47,700I will yield.6800:03:47,710 - 00:03:50,820After we go through the exerciseof an annoying series of votes,6900:03:50,840 - 00:03:52,460all of which the gentleman will lose,7000:03:52,470 - 00:03:54,910does he then intend to threatento quit if he does not get his way?7100:03:54,910 - 00:03:55,490He does.7200:03:55,500 - 00:03:58,710I move we are the armyants. All those in favor?7300:04:00,260 - 00:04:03,920Good afternoon, and welcome totodays physics bowl practice round.7400:04:03,930 - 00:04:09,200Im penny, and Ill be your host because apparently Ididnt have anything else to do on a satday afternoon,7500:04:09,230 - 00:04:12,550and isnt that just a little sad?7600:04:13,340 - 00:04:14,410Gentlemen, are you ready?7700:04:14,420 - 00:04:15,180- Yes- Of course7800:04:15,190 - 00:04:16,420*7900:04:16,430 - 00:04:21,080You*8000:04:21,090 - 00:04:23,740Hell be okay once the womenare mixed into the crowd.8100:04:23,750 - 00:04:27,210He only has a problem whentheyre one-on-one and smell nice.8200:04:27,220 - 00:04:30,170Ah, thanks, raj. Its vanilla oil.8300:04:30,180 - 00:04:33,610I was actually the one whonoticed. Okay, lets just start.8400:04:33,620 - 00:04:36,710Okay, the first questionis on the topic of optics.8500:04:36,720 - 00:04:39,800What is the shortestlight pulse ever produced?8600:04:39,820 - 00:04:40,550dr. Cooper.8700:04:40,560 - 00:04:43,340And ofourse the answeris 130 attoseconds.8800:04:43,350 - 00:04:45,860- That is correct.- I knew that, too.8900:04:46,310 - 00:04:47,770Good for you, sweetie.9000:04:47,780 - 00:04:50,940Okay, next question: What isthe quantum mechanical effect9100:04:50,970 - 00:04:54,230used to encode dataon hard-disk drives?9200:04:54,240 - 00:04:54,830howard?9300:04:54,840 - 00:04:57,520And of course the answeris giant magnetoresistance.9400:04:57,530 - 00:04:58,210Right.9500:04:58,230 - 00:04:59,850Hey, I buzzed in.9600:04:59,880 - 00:05:03,030And I answered. Its called teamwork.9700:05:04,170 - 00:05:06,730Dont you think I should answerthe engineering questions?9800:05:06,750 - 00:05:08,160I am an engineer.9900:05:08,190 - 00:05:12,780By that logic I should answer all theanthropology questions because Im a mammal.10000:05:15,090 - 00:05:17,990- Just ask another one.- Okay.10100:05:18,000 - 00:05:23,230What artificial satellite has seen glimpsesof einsteins predicted frame dragging?10200:05:23,240 - 00:05:25,950and of course, its gravity probe B.10300:05:25,970 - 00:05:28,830Sheldon, you have tolet somebody else answer.10400:05:28,850 - 00:05:29,860Why?10500:05:29,870 - 00:05:31,590Because its polite.10600:05:31,600 - 00:05:33,810What do manners have to do with?10700:05:33,820 - 00:05:35,840Itthis is war.10800:05:35,850 - 00:05:40,710Were the romans polite when they salted the ground ofcarthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?10900:05:41,460 - 00:05:44,590Leonard, you said I onlyhad to ask questions.11000:05:46,280 - 00:05:48,790The objective of the competitionis to give correct answers.11100:05:48,800 - 00:05:50,950If I know them, whyshouldnt I give them?11200:05:50,960 - 00:05:53,680Some of us might havethe correct answers, too.11300:05:53,690 - 00:05:55,730Oh, please. You dont even have a phd.11400:05:55,740 - 00:05:56,690All right, thats it!11500:05:56,700 - 00:05:58,950- Howard, sit down.- Okay.11600:06:00,370 - 00:06:01,840Maybe we should take a little break.11700:06:01,850 - 00:06:03,660Good idea. I need my wrist brace.11800:06:03,670 - 00:06:08,090All this button-pushing isaggravating my old nintendo injury.11900:06:08,390 - 00:06:09,590I agree.12000:06:09,620 - 00:06:11,110What did he say?12100:06:11,120 - 00:06:15,830He compared sheldon to a disposablefeminine cleansing product12200:06:15,840 - 00:06:18,910one might use on summers eve.12300:06:20,670 - 00:06:23,810Yeah, and the bag it came in.12400:06:27,220 - 00:06:29,750Leonard, excellent. Iwant to show you something.12500:06:29,760 - 00:06:31,270Can it wait? I need to talk to you.12600:06:31,280 - 00:06:31,980Just look.12700:06:31,990 - 00:06:34,600Ive designed the perfectuniforms for our team.12800:06:34,610 - 00:06:37,360The colors are based on startrek: The original series.12900:06:37,370 - 00:06:41,720The three of you will wear supportred, and I will wear command gold.13000:06:42,790 - 00:06:44,870Why do they say aa?13100:06:44,880 - 00:06:47,340Army ants.13200:06:47,350 - 00:06:48,590Isnt that confusing?13300:06:48,600 - 00:06:52,130Aa might mean somethingelse to certain people.13400:06:52,140 - 00:06:56,220Why would a physics bowl teambe called anodized aluminum?13500:06:56,500 - 00:07:00,310No, I meant. never mind.13600:07:00,320 - 00:07:05,880Hey, check it out, I gotyou a batman cookie jar.13700:07:05,890 - 00:07:08,660Oh, neat! Whats the occasion?13800:07:08,670 - 00:07:14,250Well, youre a friend, and you like batmanand cookies, and youre off the team.13900:07:17,200 - 00:07:18,600What?14000:07:18,610 - 00:07:20,720Howard, raj and I justhad a team meeting.14100:07:20,740 - 00:07:21,560No, you didnT.14200:07:21,590 - 00:07:23,480Yes, we did. I just came from there.14300:07:23,490 - 00:07:25,420Okay, I dont knowwhere you just came from,14400:07:25,430 - 00:07:28,830but it could not have have been a team meetingbecause Im on the team and I wasnt there.14500:07:28,840 - 00:07:31,580Ergo, the team did not meet.14600:07:31,590 - 00:07:37,400Okay, let me try it this way: I was ata coffee klatch with a couple of friends,14700:07:37,410 - 00:07:41,100and one thing led to another, andit turns out youre off the team.14800:07:42,110 - 00:07:42,920Why?14900:07:42,930 - 00:07:45,480Because youre takingall the fun out of it.15000:07:45,490 - 00:07:49,400Im sorry, is the winner of the physicsbowl the team that has the most fun?15100:07:49,420 - 00:07:54,780Okay, let me try it this way: Youre annoyingand no one wants to play with you anymore.15200:07:56,760 - 00:07:58,570I see.15300:07:58,580 - 00:08:04,930Well, at this point I should informyou that I intend to form my own team15400:08:04,940 - 00:08:08,480and destroy the molecular bondsthat bind your very matter together15500:08:08,500 - 00:08:12,490and reduce the resultingparticulate chaos to tears.15600:08:14,370 - 00:08:16,790Thanks for the heads-up.15700:08:16,800 - 00:08:19,110Youre welcome.15800:08:19,560 - 00:08:20,900- One more thing.- Yes?15900:08:20,910 - 00:08:23,030Its on, bitch.16000:08:30,880 - 00:08:33,040So whod he get to be on his team?16100:08:33,050 - 00:08:34,200He wont say.16200:08:34,210 - 00:08:38,060He just smiles and eatsmacaroons out of his bat jar.16300:08:38,790 - 00:08:40,800Hes using psychological warfare.16400:08:40,820 - 00:08:42,640We must reply in kind.16500:08:42,650 - 00:08:45,520I say we wait until helooks at us, then laugh like,16600:08:45,530 - 00:08:49,950yes, you are a smart and strong competitor,but we are also smart and strong,16700:08:49,960 - 00:08:53,430and we have a reasonablechance of defeating you.16800:08:54,710 - 00:08:58,210How exactly would that laugh go?16900:09:01,890 - 00:09:02,980that sounds more like,17000:09:02,990 - 00:09:08,010we are a tall, thin woman who wantsto make a coat out of your dalmatians （斑点狗）.17100:09:09,770 - 00:09:13,350Guys, lets remember that sheldonis still our friend and my roommate.17200:09:13,360 - 00:09:15,160So?17300:09:15,170 - 00:09:18,040So nothing. Lets destroy him.17400:09:18,450 - 00:09:20,520Gentlemen.17500:09:27,620 - 00:09:30,330okay, were going to need astrong fourth for our team.17600:09:30,340 - 00:09:34,310You know who is apparently very smartis the girl who played tvs blossom.17700:09:35,680 - 00:09:37,990She got a phd. Inneuroscience or something.17800:09:38,000 - 00:09:43,220Raj, were not getting tvs blossomto join our physics bowl team.17900:09:44,030 - 00:09:46,860How about the girlfrom the wonder years?18000:09:47,970 - 00:09:52,490Gentlemen, I believe Ive foundthe solution to all our problems.18100:09:53,960 - 00:09:55,910We cant ask leslie winkle.18200:09:55,920 - 00:09:56,850Why?18300:09:56,860 - 00:10:01,290Because you slept together, and when she was donewith you she discarded you like last nights chutney?18400:10:05,310 - 00:10:06,910Yes.18500:10:07,490 - 00:10:09,340Sometimes youve got totake one for the team.18600:10:09,360 - 00:10:12,410Yeah, sack up, dude.18700:10:12,970 - 00:10:14,960Fine.18800:10:15,590 - 00:10:18,320Here I go, taking one for the team.18900:10:18,330 - 00:10:20,400in the sack.19000:10:22,650 - 00:10:24,070Hey, leslie.19100:10:24,100 - 00:10:25,120Hi, guys.19200:10:25,130 - 00:10:29,420So, leslie, I have a question foryou, and it might be a little awkward,19300:10:29,430 - 00:10:31,780you know, given that I.19400:10:31,810 - 00:10:34,240hit that thang. （=thing）19500:10:36,590 - 00:10:38,890Leonard, theres no reasonto feel uncomfortable just19600:10:38,900 - 00:10:44,290because weve seen each others faces and nakedbodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus.19700:10:45,630 - 00:10:46,630Theres not?19800:10:46,640 - 00:10:50,180Gee, cause it sure soundslike there should be.19900:10:50,190 - 00:10:54,270Rest assured that any aspects of our sexualrelationship regarding your preferences,20000:10:54,280 - 00:10:59,320your idiosyncrasies, your performance are stillprotected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom.20100:10:59,330 - 00:11:03,980Ths all very comforting, but if itsokay, Id like to get on to my question now.20200:11:03,990 - 00:11:05,090Proceed.20300:11:05,100 - 00:11:08,530We are entering the physics bowl,and we need a fourth for our team.20400:11:08,540 - 00:11:12,480No, thanks. Im really busy with mylike-sign dilepton supersymmetry search.20500:11:12,490 - 00:11:15,760Dilepton, shmylepton. We need you.20600:11:16,130 - 00:11:17,930Sorry.20700:11:18,260 - 00:11:19,930Well, we tried.20800:11:19,940 - 00:11:24,450Well just have to face sheldonmano y mano y mano a mano.20900:11:24,460 - 00:11:26,830Wait, youre going upagainst sheldon cooper?21000:11:26,840 - 00:11:27,670Yes.21100:11:27,680 - 00:11:30,810That arrogant, misogynistic,east texas doorknob21200:11:30,820 - 00:11:36,540that told me I should abandon my work withhigh-energy particles for laundry and childbearing?21300:11:39,080 - 00:11:41,180Shes in.21400:11:42,940 - 00:11:44,760so, how do you feel?21500:11:44,770 - 00:11:49,100Nice and loose? (严阵以待)Come to play? (一鼓作气)Got your game face on?（士气如虹）21600:11:49,110 - 00:11:52,370- Are you ready?- Yeah.21700:11:52,380 - 00:11:54,260You know, you dont haveto stay for the whole thing.21800:11:54,270 - 00:11:57,750Oh, no, no. I want to.Sounds really interesting.21900:12:03,980 - 00:12:04,900Gentlemen.22000:12:04,910 - 00:12:06,900- Sheldon.- Sheldon.22100:12:10,260 - 00:12:12,140sheldon.22200:12:13,550 - 00:12:16,120Im just gonna sit down.22300:12:19,040 - 00:12:21,100So, is that your team?22400:12:21,110 - 00:12:22,760Actually, I dont need a team.22500:12:22,770 - 00