新成长的烦恼第一季10.doc

LIZZIE:Face it, Miranda.it doesnt matter whichX-Man you are-you could be Mystiquethat hot blue chickand Ethan Craftwouldnt give youthe time of day.Which is why Id be Rogue.Id use my mutant powerto suck awayall Kates popularity.Ethan Craft would have no choicebut to turn to me.MIRANDA:Or moi.GORDO:Great, use theuntapped powersof the universeto land a guy whosgoing to end upworking at a gasstation- part-time.( crashing sounds )LIZZIE:Hello! Ever heardof knocking?MATT:Have you seenthe flashlight?LIZZIE:No. On the phone.leave!I have to get off the phoneand crush my little brother.( screams )(to MATT)You have five secondstill I sit on your head.One.two.three.MATT:Got it.LIZZIE:( groans )Does anyone knockin this house?LIZZIE:Yes, Dad, what do you want?SAM:Do you have any idea whyyour little brotheris covered in dirt?LIZZIE:You caught me-I buried him in the backyardand he dughis way out.Joke!I dont knowwhy hes mud boybut Ive got a lotto worry about, Dad.Im getting marriedin the morningand if you pleasewould excuse me!( huffing )SAM :(to JO)Honey, a little help? -THEME SONG-* If you believe * Weve got a picture-perfect plan * Weve got you fooled * Cause we only do the best we can * And sometimes we make it * And sometimes we fake it * But we get one step closer each and every day * Well figure it out on the way. *( bell ringing )MRS STEBEL:The rules forthe social studiesmarriage project are as follows:I will pair you off into couplesand then everyone will comeand select an occupationfrom this fishbowl.Each couple must createa fictional lifestylefor themselvesand the couplewith the best marriagedoesnt have to write a paper.Each couple mustmake all decisionstogether.The project willlast one weekand will end with a pretend20th school reunion partywhere youll give a reportabout your last 20 years.Any questions?TOON LIZZIE:Yeah. Wheresmy bachelor number one?MRS STEBEL:Okay, lets begin.Kate Saunders.youll be married to.Larry Tudgeman.TOON LIZZIE:Mr. and Mrs. Larry Tudgeman.Mrs. Kate Tudgeman.Kate Saunders Tudgeman.Its all good.KATE:Mrs. StebelI cant be married to Larry.Ugh!MRS STEBEL:But you are married to Larry.KATE:Stop saying that.I want a new husband.MRS STEBEL:There are no new husbands, Kate.Now, you and Larrycome on up and select your job.TOON LIZZIE:This is great.I could be marriedto a tree frogand still havea better marriage than her.KATE:Ugh.Ugh.LARRY:Yeah, hey, Im a mailman!No, no-Im a mail delivery man.For without me, thereis no mail, I am the mailman.KATE:Im a TV anchorwoman?I love that.LARRY:Honey, that is so great.KATE:Put a cork in it, Tudgeman.MRS STEBEL:All right, Lizzie McGuireyoull be paired with.( clock ticking )TOON LIZZIE:Ethan Craft,Ethan Craft, Ethan CraftEthan Craft, Ethan Craft!MRS STEBEL:David Gordon.( buzzer sounds )TOON LIZZIE:Gordos cool.Yeah, Im seeing it.Best friendsequals best marriage.Mix those two togetherand we havea recipe for victory.No paper for usthis weekend, yes!LIZZIE:Lawyer? Cool Mo Dee.GORDO:Sanitation engineer?Oh, Im a garbageman.Im Gordothe garbageman.My wifes a lawyer;I pick up trash.LARRY:Hey, it doesnt makeyou less of a man.Trust me, I know.My wife.TV personality.MRS STEBEL:Miranda Sanchezyoull be pairedwith Ethan Craft.TOON LIZZIE:Okay, soshes my best friendso I guess Im happy for her.But this is so unfair.ETHAN: (to MIRANDA)Hey, Mrs. Ethan Craft.( heart thumping )ETHAN:Surgeon.Thats like a doctor, right?TOON LIZZIE:Okay, so Ive met vegetablesbrighter than him.But he is a total hottie.GORDO:Hes a doctor,and Im a garbageman.Wha.MIRANDA:Homemaker.ETHAN:Can I escortMrs. Ethan Craft to her seat?( wedding bells ringing )MIRANDA:Thats Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft.TOON LIZZIE:Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft?MIRANDA:Hi. Just wantedto let you knowIm eatingwith my husbandthe doctor, today.See you guysin gym.LIZZIE:Sure.(to GORDO)Did you see that rockon Mirandas hand?TOON LIZZIE:Thats not a rock,its a continent.GORDO:Ive beenthinkingabout it.Im not going to let thistrashman thing get me down.Ive got plans,big plans.Im going to builda trash empire with employeesand trucks andcity contracts.Its going to be huge.LARRY:Hey, Kate.Hey, Kate?Kate?KATE:Ugh, do I know you?LARRY:Yeah, Im your husband.Mrs. Stebels class?Mailman?Okay, uh.We should probablyget to work on this.KATE:Look, I have plans this weekendso I cant write a paperso I need the best marriage,which meansyou cant be in it, okay?LARRY:Aah. Want aBrussels sprout?KATE:Ew!GORDO: The key is one truck,just one garbage truck.Then that becomestwo garbage trucks,then threethen a lot of garbage trucks-a fleet of garbage trucks.For, you see,trucks equalcontractsand contractsequal moneyand money equals power.Are you even listening to me?Hello?LIZZIE:Um. yeah.Youre talking about trash.GORDO:You know, Lizzie,I know were best friendsbut sometimesI feel likeyou take mefor granted.Like now.LIZZIE:What?GORDO:How do you thinkthat makes me feel?Weve been married for lessthan a period, and yourealready jealous ofsomeone elses husband.LIZZIE:Im not jealous.GORDO:We have to work onthis marriage thing together.TOON LIZZIE:Im not jealous.Shes Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft.Im married to a trashman.Im not jealous.JO:Honey?Lizzie.Do you knowwhere your brotheris going?LIZZIE:Mom, Im his sister.We dont talk.JO:Im just worried.Hes been reallygood lately.But, like,too good-youre sureyou havent noticedanything weird?LIZZIE:Hmm. besideshis troll-like appearanceand his distaste for hygiene?No.Anyway, Ive got enoughto worry about.Miranda gets to beMrs. Doctor Ethan Craftand I get tobe married toGordo, the trash king.Oh, school project, dont worry.JO:I dont know whatyour teacher is telling youbut marriage is notabout how much you earnor what you have.Its about love and trustand communication.Right, honey?SAM:Huh?JO:Just say yes.SAM:Yes.JO:Good boy.TOON LIZZIE:Okay, nice thatmy parents like each otherbut gross when they kissin front of me, ugh!LIZZIE:I am so out of here.JO:Honey?SAM:Hmm?JO:Im worriedabout Matt.I think you shouldgo follow him.SAM:Ill get my coat.SAM:Matt?Hey, Matt.Hi.What are youdoing here?MATT:Um, tidying up my cave.SAM:Is that what this is?MATT:Uh, yeah.SAM:I didnt know there wasa cave up here.MATT:There wasnt.SAM:You mean you made this cave?MATT:I dug it.SAM:Wow.Well, how long did it take you?MATT:I dont know, couple weeks.SAM:Why?MATT:Well, you see,I ran into these rocks, and.SAM:No, Matt, what I mean is,why did you dig a cave?MATT:Dad, havent you ever wanteda place that is your own?A place you can justhang?SAM:Each and every dayof my life, son.MATT:Are you going to tell Mom?SAM:Well, you haveparental supervisionso that would make this okay.MATT:Welcome to the Matt Cave.TOON LIZZIE:Kate? Ethan?Probably totally innocent.Wait, its Kate.Definitely not totally innocent.KATE :(to ETHAN)So, what I was thinking.I was thinking thatMrs. Stebel clearly madea mistake with my marriageso Im planningto leave Larryat the reunion.ETHAN:Does that meanI get two wives?KATE:No.ETHAN:But if youleave Mirandathen you and Icould be. married.( squishing noise )ETHAN:Oh, thats still pretty cool.KATE:Hows that sound,Dr. Craft?ETHAN:Youre really smart.WAITRESS:Excuse me,heres your drink.LIZZIE:Thanks.(to KATE)Hi.TOON LIZZIE:I would give a years allowanceto be anyplace but hererightnow.Maybe two years.GORDO:Garbage is gold- stinky gold-but gold nonetheless.LIZZIE:Whatever.GORDO:Come on, Lizzie.Give me a hand here.You want the perfect marriageand youve beenmaking zero effort.LIZZIE:Gordo, quit nagging me.GORDO:Nagging you?I wouldnt have to nag youif you paid attention to me.LIZZIE:Id pay attention to youif you talked about somethingother than garbage.GORDO:Like what?Ethan and Miranda.Mmm.SAM:Theres a bunch of batteriesin the garage.I think theres more beef jerkyin the pantry.JO:Hey!SAM:Huh?JO:Sam, can I talk to youfor a second?SAM:Sure.( whispering to MATT )MATT:Got it.JO:Whats going on?SAM:Nothing.Just a little male bonding timewith meand Matt.JO:You know Im going to find out.GORDO:Trash may not be glamorous,Lizziebut its going to put our kidsthrough school.LIZZIE:Thats not it.GORDO:What is it?LIZZIE:I wentto the Digital Bean yesterdayand I saw Ethan with Kate.Kate is planningto leave Larryat the reunionand she wants Ethanto do the same to Miranda.GORDO:But its just a school project.Its not real.LIZZIE:It will be real to Mirandawhen she gets dumpedin front of theentire class.GORDO:Okay, youre right.We have to tell herbefore the reunion.LIZZIE:And how do we do that?GORDO:Well, youll haveto talk to her.LIZZIE:Hey, Miranda.Havent seenyou around.MIRANDA:Yeah, being a doctors wifecan be pretty hectic.LIZZIE:So, hows it working for you?MIRANDA:Oh, weve decided thatEthan is a heart surgeon.We havethree kids-Brittany, Gwyneth and Ethan Jr.I drive the kidsto soccer practicein my metallic blueSUVwith beige leather interior.LIZZIE:And what about Ethan?MIRANDA:Oh, he works a lot.Heart surgeons do, you know.Hell meet mehere later.This project is so much fun.LIZZIE:Great.Miranda, I haveto tell you something.ETHAN:HeyladiesDr. Es in the house!TOON LIZZIE:I am so erasing his namefrom my notebook.ETHAN:Sorry Im late.I had some doctor stuff to do.MIRANDA:You were saying, Lizzie?LIZZIE:Uh.I was sayingthat.Im meeting Gord.Im meeting Gordo hereso I have to go.TOON LIZZIE:Im not a coward, really.Its. its justnot the right time.MIRANDA:I hope you guys areas happy as we are.GORDO:She, uh. doesntlook too upset.LIZZIEThats becauseshe doesnt know.I couldnttell her.I mean,she looks so.happy.GORDO:You know,the longer you waitthe more hurtshes going to get.TOON LIZZIE:( grunting )I am such a wimp.MATT:Dad, does it getmuch better than this?SAM:Nope, it doesnt.You know, Ive been thinking.What we really needis some more room.MATT:Talk to me.SAM:I could blow that wall outanother seven feet.Then wed haveenough room in herefor a generator.Wed have indoor lights.MATT:And TV, okay? Cant forget TV.SAM:Yeah, TVwould be cool.We could probably punch a holein the roof here-bring insome satellite.MATT:Cool.SAM:How big a screenyou think wecould get in here?JO:Sam!Matt! Whatare you guysdoing in there?Get out of this mudholeright now!SAM:But.MATT:But.JONo. No buts.This thing could collapseon you any minute. Come on.MATT:But its cool.JO:I know its cool, honey.but its dangerous.Right, Sam?Right, Sam?SAM:Son.she caught usfair and square.At this pointresistance is futile.MATT:Women.you cant live with themyou cant let them knowwhere your cave is.LIZZIE:I cannot believeyoure wearing that.GORDO:Well, Ima trash man.Im proud ofwhere I come from.LIZZIE:Dont you careif we win?GORDO:No, I dont.Not anymore.I care that,ever sincewe got married.you just seemannoyed by me.I care that I feellike my best friendis taking mefor granted.TOON LIZZIE:Not only am I a wimp,Im a jerk.Im batting two for two.FARMER KID:So, basically,while I was out milking the cowshe was inthe big cityfighting crime.PARKER: (COP KID)But I was homeon the weekendsand we hadthree kids.MRS STEBEL:Commuter marriage.Interesting.So next up we haveKate Saundersand Larry Tudgeman.KATE:I left Larrythe day after our wedding.Of coursethere were no children.I replacedKatie Couricon the Today show,and won several Emmys.I livedfabulously ever after.The end.Do I win?LARRYI do not rememberagreeingto any of that.MRS STEBEL:Kate, LarryI want to see youafter the presentations, please.After a five-minute breaknext up will beMiranda Sanchezand Ethan Craft.GORDO:Where. whereare you going?LIZZIE:To tell her.I cant let herbe embarrassedin frontof the entire class.I mean, sure, shes beenDr. Ethan Craft for a weekbut Mirandas beenmy friend for much longerand I cant justlet her walk into this.LIZZIE:Hey, Mirandacan I talkto you for a sec?MIRANDA:Cant this wait?Im about to give my report.LIZZIE:No, it cant.MIRANDA :(to ETHAN)Give us a sec.ETHAN:Sure thing,sweetheart.LIZZIE:Okay, Miranda, Ethan isgoing to leave you, like, now.MIRANDA:Just becauseyoure jealousdoesnt give youthe right tomake stuff up.LIZZIE:Miranda, Im notmaking it up.Im your friend.MIRANDA:Yeah? Somefriend you are.LIZZIE:Some friend I am?One lame school projectand yourespending all your timewaiting aroundfor some guywho doesnteven care about you?Whos goingto leave youand embarrass youin frontof the entire class?MIRANDA:What are youtalking about?Ethan and I spendtons of time together.LIZZIE:No. Ethan spendsa ton of time with Kate.I saw them atthe Digital Bean together.Kate asked Ethanto leave you at the reunionjust like she left Larry.I. I tried to tell youbut you seemed so. happy.MIRANDA:What?How?LIZZIE:Im really sorry.ETHAN:Uh. yo!Is there a Mrs. Doctorin the house?Me and Mirandahad our issues,you know?Like on Ricki Lake.MIRANDA:Ethan wasa heart surgeon.I was a homemaker.We had three kids- Brittany,Gwyneth and Ethan Jr.We hada vacation housea swimming pool.I thought we hada pretty good life.ETHAN:Yeah, and then also.MIRANDA:But Ethanwas seeing someone else.Werent you, Ethan?ETHAN:Uh. no.MIRANDA:Ethan was goingto leave me for Kate.But, you see,Doctorthats not how I operate.Im leaving you.You can take the car-you can take everything-but you cant take my dignity.I cantbe marriedto someone who cant evenmanage to be my friend.ETHAN:Uh. Kate?I thought I was goingto have two wives.Now I got. none.LARRY:Kate, we need to gotalk to Mrs. Stebel.KATE:You better keepyour mouth shutand agree that all of ourdecisions were mutual.Im not writinga report becauseyou