写作提升7.doc

写作提升4精心润色，升华写作有道是文章不厌百回改。好的文章中不乏挥笔立就、一气呵成的名篇，但更多的是经过反复斟酌、修改润色才成为精品的。如果文章要求你自拟题目，要看看自己拟的题目是不是准确醒目，给人印象深刻。如一篇让你谈谈英语学习方法的文章，On English learning methods要比Some methods on how to learn English well简洁、醒目得多。接着要看看文章的第一句能否吸引读者的注意力。如果你是读者，下面的两种文章开头哪个更吸引你？1My family moved to Shanghai when I was 14.2A truck is running towards my house，carrying different kinds of boxes.My things are being thrown into the truck without any mercy，leaving me standing in the empty room.We have moved to another place again.一样吸引人？当然不是，还是第二种更吸引人。再有就是对文章中的字词进行斟酌，力争找到最贴切的词语。如下面一句： I did very badly in the sports meeting.I was beaten by Xiao Ming.请看修改过后的句子：I did rather badly in the sports meeting.I was even beaten by Xiao Ming.very是普通词汇，而rather一般多用来修饰令人厌恶、不愉快的词语，用在此句中，感情色彩要比very鲜明得多。even一词用在此处显得出乎意料，同前面的badly呼应。另外，对于句式也需要精心选择。如谈到环境保护，We must take measures to protect our environment.远不如Some measures must be taken to protect our environment.表达有力。再就是在行文中不要一味使用普通句式。倒装句、强调句、省略句等特殊句式在特定语境中的表达效果要比普通句式好得多。【体验写作】试着为下面的文章进行修改润色One day，Xiao Ming saw a little girl fall over.He wanted to help the girl up，but his mother stopped him and said，“Dont do that；otherwise others will think you knocked her down.”Another day，the mother was shocked to see Xiao Ming just let the fallen oil bottle be there.And Xiao Ming said to his mother，“If I had straightened the bottle up，you would have thought that I did it.I disagree with what the mother did in the story.I think parents should set a good example to their children.They should care for their childrens health and their minds.They should let their children know helping others is a pleasure.Everyone should do something good to build up our society，right?参考范文One day，Xiao Ming saw a little girl fall over.He wanted to help the girl up，but his mother stopped him and said，“Dont do that；otherwise others would think it was you who knocked her down.”Another day，the mother was shocked to see Xiao Ming not do anything to a fallen oil bottle.And Xiao Ming said to his mother，“If I had straightened the bottle up，you would have thought it was I who had made the bottle fallI disagree with what the mother did in the story.I think parents should set a good example to their children.They should not only care for their childrens health，but their minds.They should let their children know it is a pl