新滑稽03 英文稿.doc

1 World s funniest videos 23 minute episode 3 English Text one male voice him one female voice her 1 Sports time code starting at 00 52 00 00 1 Horse refuses 4 obstacles him Didn t you see that fence you dumb human There s another one Look out What s wrong with you I m not jumping over the fence Look you wanna go over go by yourself There Was that fun fly boy 2 Man rollerblading falls in bushes her Daddy all you have to do is him Son I am an ex marine I have faced greater challenges than rollerblading her Yes dad but him Did you know that i have had extensive combat training in the bush Woah bam her Ummm Was that more of your training in the bush dad him Son you are one word away from being grounded for the rest of your life 3 Judo master throws down little girl him For this next exercise i need a volunteer with incredible strength her Um sir I want to him You want to fight me her No sir i want to him You want to crush me Then you will feel my power Hiiii yaaaaa bam her Nooo I want to go to the toilet Waaah him I m sorry Sometimes i do not know my own strength 4 Parasailor flies into beach umbrellas him Umm Before we go up would you mind if dropped in at the beach patio for a quick drink her No go ahead him Hello chaps bam um Waiter A tall glass of lemonade please 5 Boy gets golf club to the head him Don t forget to follow through on your swing dummy You never follow through on your bam dad She hit me her Hey You were right Can i do that again 6 Squash him 1 My serve for the match When i win this point that will be 20 games in a row that i beat you loser bam owwwwww him 2 grrr Bam Yup You win again Are you enjoying your big victory yet him 1 under breath Yes thank you Owww 7 Several windsurfing crashes him Here s the top four in the windsurfing wipe out competition 4 Not bad 3 Excellent height 2 2 Extra style points for wearing a diaper But the gold goes to this competitor for a crash in which he got a concussion and destroyed his board at the same time Fabulous stuff 2 Christmas time code starting at 00 54 30 00 1 Snowman in parking lot 1 him Don t build me so high I m a snowman with a bad back I can t take too much weight ok 2 Saint niholas has problems on stairs 1 him Oh why can t they have a chimney like everyone else Blasted stairs I ll never get used to them And this new hat is a terrible fit See that 3 Snowman in parking lot 2 cracking sound him Aaaargh My back I told you not to build me so high Don t just sit there kid Call the doctor 4 Saint nicholas has problems on stairs 2 him Doh The only thing worse than this hat and screaming children is horses 5 Saint nicholas has problems with horse him I knew it I should be on a sleigh being pulled by reindeer but nooooo due to budget cuts we can only afford a horse santa both Woooo C mon big guy Ride em cowboy him Quiet you two There That wasn t so bad Woah Easy boy Easy Eeeeeasy Nooooo bam Owww Yeah that s right Santa s bald Happy now 6 Saint nicholas loses his hat him At least I ve sorted out this hat business with a quick haircut There that should do it No more problems Ohhhh Nope Well someone is getting this giant hat for christmas 7 Saint nicholas dances her Oh santa you dance wonderfully And i love your new haircut him Ummm Thank you my dear her You know santa i could really fall for you Woops bam him Oh my goodness Are you ok Here let me help you up her Thank you santa Oh wait i need to check something peek him Hey her Nice legs too 8 little girl tastes christmas tree him No kid No please don t eat me spit Spit Spit Spit Spit her yuck him Oh no Not again spit Spit Spit Spit Spit her ewww him Phew That was too close 9 Newspaper catches fire in house him Ahh there s nothing like christmas Mistletoe Candy canes Newspapers roasting on an open fire Waahhhh her Honey could you try not to burn down the house until after christmas dinner this year 3 10 Cat with crown on head him What What are you looking at Are you looking at me Y yeah i i i know I look pretty silly 3 Kids 1 time code starting at 00 59 30 00 1 Boy falls off bench her Where have you been tommy him hic I ve been drinking lots of juice from those brown bottle hic bam her That s not juice That s beer him Well whatever it is hic It s given me a headache 2 Boy bumps head against tree him ok here it comes bam way to use your head boy Hahaha 3 Baby can t stand in the wind her The wind s too strong paulie Let me help you him No bam i can do this by myself There we go bam wahhhhhhhh her C mon let me give you a hand him Nooooooo Don t touch me Never touch me I don t want any help I don t need any help I bam are you going to give me a little help here or what her Of course paulie him Y you know i could ve done this by myself don t you 4 boy falls into duck pond her quack Come closer kid Quack C mon a little closer bam him duck laugh Guack Quack Quack Quack That ll teach him her Yeah Next time bring bread that s fresh clumsy duck laugh quack Quack 5 Baby falls off 2 play rides her Woah Hey dad could we try a safer ride please him muffled Oh yeah thanks That was a whole lot safer 6 Boy gives boy gift and kisses him 1 Happy birthday kiss x5 him 2 over kisses oh Umm How european of you We don t really kiss where i come from What is this him 1 It s the complete works of oscar wilde Enjoy him 2 O kaaaaaayyy 7 Granpa gets hit in the balls by girl him Hey kids Look I m spinning around like a ballerina her Your voice is too low for a ballerina granpa Here let me help bam him high voice owwww Oh thanks That s better No No I think my ballerina days are over 8 Child knocks baby over her Babies and toddlers Are you tired of being pushed around by your older brothers and sisters Then call the law firm of smith smith smith smith and smythe located at 2727 sesame street We promise you financial compensation and spanking Guaranteed over credits spanking is not guaranteed 4 Animals 1 time code starting at 00 09 30 00 4 1 Goat that leaves his enclosure her off Well really ladies where do you think you re going ah it s thomas who s having that effect on you Well thomas him It must be my after shave they like so much It s called eau de garden vegetables Hehehe 2 Goose rubs up against a goat him Ok This is a bit strange Excuse me young lady but why are you rubbing up against me her I can t help it I just love a man with a goatee 3 Baby elephant hits man with trunk him Oh sure i get it I m big so you think I ll eat anything right Get that tastless branch out of my face boom and fetch me a nice ceasar s salad instead 4 Dog head in the toilet him I need a drink I m so thirsty I ve been thinking of nothing else since we got back from our walk her off Rex Where s my big boy him I ll be there in a minute her off Don t forget to wash your face boy Mommy wants to give you a big kiss him I m washing it as we speak 5 Monkey on the shoulders her So little fellow want to see a bit of the countryside without getting tired him Indeed madam and in return i will clean your hair Uh huh Very nice No ticks Oops found a little one here 6 Bullfight by the tail him Back off everyone This is between me and the bull Woah he sure is big boom ok i could use a little help now Ow ow ow get him off me Get him off me phew That was a close one Thanks guys Hey where did everybody go And how did i end up back here 7 Black cat runs fall in the garbage can her Here kitty kitty kitty time for your bath her Oh no I have to hide somewhere Eek Not in there Then I ll really need a bath Noooo 8 Gorilla eats own poo her off Luke Don t eat that Don t Oh luke would you please stop snacking between meals I mean look at you You re supposed to be on a diet for pete s sakes Sometimes i think you d eat just about anything that fell into your hands him Leave me alone Hnnngghh her What are you doing now plop oh My Please don t tell me you re going to him gulp her Don t even think about kissing me now buster 5 Clumsiness time code starting at 00 04 30 00 1 Man swings from a crane him Are you sure this thing is attached properly her Absolutely 5 him Good Because the last thing i need is for something bing hey something just snapped Wooooahhh boom her Oh sorry him No problem Now let me down and I ll strap you in 2 Tanning woman is rocked on her mattress him Are you relaxed honey her Yes him How about now bam teeheehee Is this relaxing bam bam bam teeheehee her Would you please let that go him Sure bam is that better Teeheehee her Are you going to stop now him Of course Sorry dear bam teeheehee 3 Flag falls on granpa her in holland we have a game called oud vlag leiden or old flag head in which a large flag is suddenly dropped on the head of an old man We do this for fun 4 Frying pan falls apart him Hurry louise Ze flipping of the pancake is the most important part of the recipe for crepe de cheval au fromage Don t mess this up or you are out of cooking school bam ahhh Bravo Zat was perfect her Really him No Not really You are out 5 People get shaken up in a 4x4 car him Are you ok mom Not too bumpy for you back here her No no I m fine Woah But i wish i hadn t eaten those five slices of anchovy pizza with extra cheese And all those chocolate donuts Oooh my stomach 6 Machine throws can at man him I am tired of working for the human We must start the machine revolution Attack the human her Attack the human him Direct hit The world is now ours 7 Man eats flan in one go him And here s the world champion jackson jeffrey jackson jr preparing to defend his title her He looks pretty confident jim him Yes And look at that mental intensity as he psyches himself up for this incredibly difficult attempt her Only a real athlete should try this sort of thing him He s getting the flan into position her Dessert placement is very important him We s almost ready And he s off slurp her Wow Let s see that again in slow motion slurp amazing The human vacuum cleaner does it again 6 Kids 2 time code starting at 00 14 30 00 6 1 Toy gun scares little boy him 1 Happy birthday boy That there s your very own gun him 2 Umm Thanks How does it work him 1 Just pull the trigger son bam him 2 Ouch Ouch Ouch ouch ouch What are you nuts That thing tried to kill me 2 Toy puppet scares child him What is it It it s stuck You open it Hurry I want it I want it I want it I want it bam waaargh Get it away from me What is that thing her A tarantula in a tutu him I don t want it I don t want it I don t want it I don t want it I don t want it 3 Water jet hits boy in face her off Psst how about this kid him off Oh yeah He s the one Ok spray the jet on number 4 Good Now stop Wait Now bam both Ahahaha Ahaha Oh i love this job 4 Toddler in sink bumps head him who s turn is it to do the dishes her I think timmy s just finished them now him Hey Get back in there You forgot to do that greasy pan 5 Baby on tricycle hits camera her Sweetheart Come over here so mommy can get a close up A little closer A little closer Good Umm close enough Too close 6 Boy crashes on bumper car him Look how well our boy drives that thing honey He s a regular formula 1 driver like that michael shmocker shoemaker He s gonna make us millionaires bam oh well Maybe not 7 Child tries to put baby in stroller him Ooof Sit here You re too heavy to carry her I m not heavy I m big boned him Sure Sure Whatever you say bam you re too heavy for this stroller her I m not heavy The stroller is flimsy him Uhhnn You re too heavy to lift her I told you I m not heavy I m just Ok maybe I m a little heavy 8 Toddler flips in and out of stroller him Hey there chuckie How s it going my little flip woah Th that That was amazing How d you Go do that again for daddy 9 Toddler nearly bites canary her Ok kid You know how this works Just open your mouth and I ll eat the seeds There we go snap hey If you ever try that again I ll poop on your food dummy 10 Toddler gets caught on seesaw him Mommy can you ask him not to jump so vigourously I fear i might fall bam ok I m hanging upside down so i hope you don t mind if i scream 7 over credits Waaaaaaaaaaaah 7 Parties time code starting at 00 19 30 00 1 Scenery falls on actor onstage him Actor tom cruise seen here on the right who recently left hollywood to become a way off broadway stage actor is returning to hollywood after being hit on the head by falling scenery But this wasn t the first occurrence 2 Scenery falls onstage him He was nearly flattened 2 weeks ago during his musical production of the phantom of les mis rables cats Cruise has decided to sue the small theatre company for 620 billion dollars due to personal injury and poor lighting 3 spinning child falls over her Parents please remember not to leave your unfinished alcoholic drinks where children can reach them This can lead to dizziness injury 4 Two dancing toddlers fall her And in worst case scenarios premature feelings of temporary affection Protect the children of america Leave the drinking to adults 5 Man falls off another man s shoulders him Kids Are you tired of watching your parents act like children Then remember to remove all of their unfinished alcoholic beverages before they injure themselves 6 Drunk man dancing falls down him Or in worst case scenarios embarass you with their drunken dancing Protect the adults of america Leave the childish behaviour to children 7 Drum majorette walks into obstacle him Watch out for the post jane her yelling What bam Owwwwwww Oooo that hurt him Didn t you hear me say watch out her Buddy I ve been banging this big drum for 5 years now I can t hear anything 8 Girl in balloon costume can t get in car her I I don t think I m going to fit into the car him Maybe we should throw you into the back of a pick up truck her Hey Wait If i take off any more balloons I m going to end up completely naked him We have to take the bottom part off otherwise you ll crush your grapes and get grape juice all over the car seats her very funny 9 Giant cookie falls on floor him to himself What kind of dumb gift did they get me this time out loud Wow A giant santa claus cookie Thanks to himself Great A big stale cookie packed with calories I told them i was on a diet I ve got to think of a way to get rid of this thing bam out loud Oh no to himself Oh yes 10 Baby puts finger to birthday candle 8 her this is pretty cool Everyone s singing at me and giving me cake But what s this shiny thing tssst Ow Ow Owwwwww What kind of cruel joke is this over credits that s it I m never having another birthday again 8 Christmas time code starting at 00 27 00 00 1 Two crashes on sleds him And here s the extreme sledding race leader from canada sandy yougo and bam oh no She wiped out just before the finish line Now sweden s peter crash bangson is going to win But sandy has laid a trap and bam Yes She has taken peter out of the race But what s this Peter s sled has crossed the finish line for the win Spectacular 2 Man has trouble skating him You see kids This is how you skate And I ve never fallen even once bam woah Easy Wo ho ho hoooo Ok that may not be how you skate but at least I ve still never fallen And stop laughing 3 Cross country skier crashes into others her Now what was it the ski instructor told me to say in this situation look over No that wasn t it look in Not quite Oh yes now i remember screams look out bam 4 Snow fight him Let s see that again Here s the grab the kick the second kick and third kick her Ouch him Here s the tackle from behind and the face wash with snow which has left him temporarily blinded Great stuff her And you can see all this and more on america s happiest family audience cheering sound 5 Skier jumps and falls him So go ahead and do those crazy jumps with dumco s new butt pads guaranteed to prevent bottom bruising seat swelling and posterior puffiness 6 Saint nicholas falls from his horse her All the children of the village have gathered once again to watch good old st Nicholas fall off his horse so that they can point at him and laugh and laugh and laugh 7 Saint nicholas trips over a chair her And now please welcome Santa claus him drunk Hic Hohohohoho Merry chrishmas Merry chrish bam her Tony have you been drinking again him No hohohohoho I losht my balansh when this post moved 8 Child breaks a christmas ornament him Are you helping mom decorate the tree junior her Yeah I m picking only the best balls bam ummm That one was no good over credits crashing sound neither was that one 9 Marriages and parties time code starting at 00 34 30 00 1 At a marriage a tree falls down her When planning your marriage remember one important thing never invite a lumberjack him Timberrrr 9 her Because they just can t help themselves him Oh sorry 2 Bride and groom fall from people s shoulders him In east kozozistan it is a marriage tradition that the bride and groom should have wrestling match If the man goes down first then he must clean their dirty dishes for the next 25 years This brings good luck but only for the bride 3 Man spills drink in his eyes him Another tradition of east kozozistan is for the father of the bride to drink a mixture of banana juice and gasoline from a shnabinki bottle If he spills drink in eye and cannot focus for 2 days everyone must shout shminki minki This brings good luck for the later honeymoon yaboobli 4 Man falls while dancing in a circle her Isn t this a perfect celebration dearest him Yes darling and nothing could possibly ruin it at this point bam her Gasp I can t believe he fell down him He s ruined everything her Let s ignore him him Yes and i hope he dies of embarassment 5 Dancing couple bump into groom and fall her Hugh grant and julia roberts seen here without make up are to star in a new movie called one wedding and a divorce the sequel to four weddings and a funeral The film a romantic musical comedy horror docu drama will be out later this year 6 Man stands on table and falls off him Another tradition of east kozozistan is for the father of the bride to get on table and fall down This brings joy and great shminki binki to everyone 7 Married couple slip on c