高中英语 生活大爆炸第5季中英字幕22素材.doc

生活大爆炸第5季中英字幕2235700:00:11,830 - 00:00:13,960i wish you could all be inside my head.35800:00:15,340 - 00:00:17,100the conversation is sparkling.35900:00:19,730 - 00:00:21,090fine,ill tell you.36000:00:21,760 - 00:00:26,190a lichen is an organism made up oftwo separate species,fungi and algae.36100:00:26,290 - 00:00:30,710if you could merge with anotherspecies,what species would you pick and why?36200:00:30,930 - 00:00:33,540there is a right answer.36300:00:34,880 - 00:00:36,370none of you will get it.36400:00:37,650 - 00:00:44,630okay,id pick swan because,uh,the resulting hybrid wouldhave the advanced industrial civilization of a human36500:00:44,730 - 00:00:47,710and the long graceful neckive always dreamed of having.36600:00:49,950 - 00:00:51,410wrong.leonard?36700:00:52,570 - 00:00:55,170horse,but mostly just for the height.36800:00:56,430 - 00:00:58,150a little bit for the genital girth.36900:01:00,040 - 00:01:02,570wrong,and lets keep it clean,shall we?37000:01:03,940 - 00:01:07,240kangaroo,uh,id be kanga-jew.37100:01:08,930 - 00:01:11,060the first of my peopleto dunk a basketball.37200:01:12,130 - 00:01:15,640also instead of just living in your mothershouse,you could actually live inside her body.37300:01:20,170 - 00:01:22,220clever,but also wrong.37400:01:22,310 - 00:01:26,460no,the best organism for human beingsto merge with is the lichen itself.37500:01:26,530 - 00:01:29,630that way,youd behuman,fungus,and algae.37600:01:29,710 - 00:01:31,190triple threat.37700:01:31,520 - 00:01:33,000like three-bean salad.37800:01:34,470 - 00:01:36,740give me one circumstance inwhich that would be useful.37900:01:36,820 - 00:01:40,070all right,picture this: abeautiful outdoor concert.38000:01:40,130 - 00:01:42,660now,as a human,i appreciate beethoven.38100:01:42,710 - 00:01:47,310as a fungus,i have a terrificview,growing out of a towering maple tree.38200:01:47,420 - 00:01:49,460and no thank you,expensive concessions.38300:01:49,540 - 00:01:52,810because as an algae,illjust snack on this sunlight.38400:01:54,300 - 00:01:56,430- he got us again.- no,he didnt.38500:01:57,070 - 00:02:02,450anyway,if its okay with you,we shouldtalk about howards bachelor party.38600:02:02,720 - 00:02:06,170seems like a bit of a letdownafter our lichen conversation,but.38700:02:06,360 - 00:02:08,360what do you know,youre half swan.38800:02:09,670 - 00:02:11,500ive been doing someresearch on strippers.38900:02:11,550 - 00:02:15,230one agency i spoke to,saidi could get us a great price39000:02:15,270 - 00:02:17,050if were flexible on agerange and number of limbs.39100:02:18,730 - 00:02:22,940sounds like loads of fun,but ipromised bernadette no strippers.39200:02:23,310 - 00:02:24,520you dont want strippers?39300:02:24,560 - 00:02:25,710youre the king of strippers.39400:02:25,760 - 00:02:28,950the one club in north hollywoodnamed a pole after you.39500:02:30,480 - 00:02:33,100what can i tell ya-im notinto that stuff anymore.39600:02:33,200 - 00:02:34,560good for you,howard.im proud of you.39700:02:34,650 - 00:02:36,670and still,youre the firstone of use to get married.39800:02:36,830 - 00:02:38,150we have to do something special.39900:02:38,190 - 00:02:40,780you know germans have aninteresting pre-wedding custom-40000:02:40,840 - 00:02:42,790well,its probably not for me.40100:02:46,460 - 00:02:48,800maybe we can go up to napa valley.40200:02:48,890 - 00:02:50,010theyve got that wine train.40300:02:50,060 - 00:02:51,390boo,wine!40400:02:51,450 - 00:02:53,230but yay,trains.im in.40500:02:54,460 - 00:02:56,750anyway,its a beautiful time of year.40600:02:56,830 - 00:02:58,800uh,you travel through the vineyards.40700:02:58,860 - 00:03:00,190theres a tasting on board.40800:03:00,230 - 00:03:02,810and all the wildflowers are in bloom.40900:03:02,900 - 00:03:04,800magic.41000:03:05,180 - 00:03:09,200look at that,in 30 seconds,we wentfrom hiring women to being them.41100:03:10,900 - 00:03:16,590-==-==- proudly presents41200:03:17,640 - 00:03:24,780-==-sync:ytet- 邦德猪41300:03:28,620 - 00:03:31,280the big bangtheory season 5episode 2241400:03:40,280 - 00:03:43,680so,i hear you and the lost boysare having a bachelor party tonight.41500:03:44,960 - 00:03:48,260yeah,just going to a restaurant,getsome steaks,and scotch.41600:03:48,330 - 00:03:49,360nothing to worry about.41700:03:49,410 - 00:03:50,520why should i worry?41800:03:50,570 - 00:03:52,880well,i dont know.its a bachelorparty.there could be strippers.41900:03:52,950 - 00:03:54,490wouldnt that make you a little jealous?42000:03:54,580 - 00:03:56,960oh,come on leonard,itsyou.whats going to happen?42100:03:57,860 - 00:04:00,510i mean,even if there was a stripper,allyoud do is avoid eye-contact42200:04:00,610 - 00:04:02,880and maybe offer to helpher kid with his homework.42300:04:04,290 - 00:04:06,810hey,i am a young manin his sexual prime.42400:04:06,920 - 00:04:12,140under the right conditions,i-i-i amcapable of just,really crazy stuff.42500:04:13,400 - 00:04:16,330really?what is the craziest thingyouve ever done with a woman?42600:04:16,380 - 00:04:19,040and the time you and i had sexin the ocean does not count.42700:04:19,090 - 00:04:20,720oh,come on.thats got to count.42800:04:21,770 - 00:04:23,880there was a really strongundertow,we could have died.42900:04:25,690 - 00:04:27,230well,have fun tonight.43000:04:27,320 - 00:04:28,610oh,i will.43100:04:28,690 - 00:04:31,760there is no telling what might happen.43200:04:32,740 - 00:04:33,630yeah,there is.43300:04:36,210 - 00:04:39,720you know,theres nothing wrong helpingsome womans kid get through their s.a.t.s.43400:04:44,360 - 00:04:48,300hey,i got to hand it to raj,he found areally nice spot to have a bachelor party.43500:04:48,380 - 00:04:49,490its not bad.43600:04:49,600 - 00:04:52,260unless you compare it toa train; then it stinks.43700:04:54,670 - 00:04:56,090are you drinking whiskey?43800:04:56,190 - 00:04:57,130indeed.43900:04:57,190 - 00:05:01,510if im to participate in the socialconvention that is the stag night,44000:05:01,600 - 00:05:04,000then i must embrace all its components:44100:05:04,040 - 00:05:08,950including tobacco,swearwords,and yes,alcohol.44200:05:10,660 - 00:05:12,690jeepers!thats yucky.44300:05:10,660 - 00:05:12,690a8*44400:05:15,060 - 00:05:18,780whoa,its a little early to startdropping j-bombs,dont you think?44500:05:20,290 - 00:05:21,220hey,you guys.44600:05:21,270 - 00:05:23,850oh,hey,wil.nice of you tomake it out tonight for howard.44700:05:23,920 - 00:05:27,050well,it was either this or anotherhot tub party at george takeis house.44800:05:23,920 - 00:05:27,050a7*44900:05:28,220 - 00:05:29,400im confused.45000:05:29,460 - 00:05:32,850i thought since our reconciliation,iwas your friend in this group.45100:05:32,940 - 00:05:34,190oh,im friends with howard too.45200:05:35,480 - 00:05:37,330i guess youre justfriends with anybody.45300:05:42,800 - 00:05:47,750hey,uh,leonard. things are alittle tight at the comic book store.45400:05:47,820 - 00:05:50,950i might need some helpcovering my share of the check.45500:05:51,010 - 00:05:52,480oh,yeah,no worries.45600:05:52,570 - 00:05:54,390and maybe a few bucks for the valet.45700:05:54,770 - 00:05:56,770oh,all right.and gas money to get home.45800:05:57,970 - 00:05:58,980yeah,sure45900:05:59,880 - 00:06:02,470great.you know what?thisis my grandfathers watch.46000:06:02,960 - 00:06:05,51018-carat gold,got it ineurope during the war.46100:06:05,600 - 00:06:06,710wow,thats very nice.46200:06:06,760 - 00:06:08,790100 bucks and its yours.46300:06:10,460 - 00:06:11,650hey,everybody!46400:06:11,740 - 00:06:13,570the bachelor boy has arrived!46500:06:14,630 - 00:06:18,740*for hes a jolly good fellow *46600:06:14,630 - 00:06:18,740a7*46700:06:18,930 - 00:06:22,060*for hes a jolly good fellow *46800:06:22,220 - 00:06:24,300*which nobody can deny *46900:06:24,370 - 00:06:25,290yes,yes,yes.47000:06:25,360 - 00:06:26,460hes a jolly good fellow.47100:06:26,520 - 00:06:28,350what time do the strippers arrive?47200:06:30,050 - 00:06:32,660actually,barry,were not goingto have strippers tonight.47300:06:32,750 - 00:06:36,350ah,then what the frig did i get200 dollars in singles out for?47400:06:38,080 - 00:06:39,450you want to buy a watch?47500:06:43,500 - 00:06:49,700this is maid of honor amy farrah fowler,bringing youthe wedding activities just weeks out from the big day.47600:06:49,790 - 00:06:55,610lets check in with a beautiful,radiant youngwoman,and her friend whos about to get married.47700:06:58,200 - 00:07:00,210ladies,can you tellus what youre doing?47800:07:00,290 - 00:07:03,960um,these are gift bags were going to putin the hotel rooms of our out-of-town guests.47900:07:04,030 - 00:07:05,720this is a map of pasadena.48000:07:05,780 - 00:07:07,740this is a list of local restaurants.48100:07:07,850 - 00:07:10,170and then,for howies relatives,wehave antihistamines,antacids,48200:07:10,290 - 00:07:13,490and medicine fordiarrhea and constipation.48300:07:14,430 - 00:07:16,770yeah,we labeled them stop and go.48400:07:19,270 - 00:07:22,270all right,pivoting to thebig question: bernadette,48500:07:22,390 - 00:07:24,580on your wedding night youllbe consummating your marriage.48600:07:24,660 - 00:07:28,400what do you think your first sexualposition will be as husband and wife?48700:07:30,290 - 00:07:31,550amy,please.48800:07:31,580 - 00:07:34,430keeping in mind that whoevers ontop may set the tone for the marriage.48900:07:36,390 - 00:07:38,130okay,shows over.49000:07:38,210 - 00:07:40,900hey,they may conceive achild on their wedding night.49100:07:40,960 - 00:07:43,550dont you think the kid might get akick out of knowing how it happened?49200:07:45,150 - 00:07:46,120i dont care.49300:07:46,150 - 00:07:48,470ask her things like are yougoing to take howards name?49400:07:48,500 - 00:07:50,290not whos going to sit on who.49500:07:52,260 - 00:07:54,240ive actually been thinkingim going to hyphenate:49600:07:54,360 - 00:07:57,080bernadette maryannrostenkowski-wolowitz.49700:07:58,310 - 00:07:59,370nice.49800:07:59,430 - 00:08:04,750you know,you should totally get bernadettemaryann rostenkowski-w before someone snaps it up.49900:08:06,510 - 00:08:07,960howard already took care of it.50000:08:09,850 - 00:08:14,480plus,he set up our beautiful wedding web sitewith cute little facts about our family histories.50100:08:14,600 - 00:08:18,250do you know,for a while in poland,myfamily and his family were neighbors.50200:08:18,380 - 00:08:20,050oh,thats cool.50300:08:20,110 - 00:08:21,830no,its not.illexplain it to you later.50400:08:27,610 - 00:08:29,450may i have your attention,please?50500:08:30,150 - 00:08:36,030we are hear tonight to celebrate the upcomingnuptials of my best friend howard wolowitz.50600:08:36,570 - 00:08:38,000- hear!- hear!50700:08:38,360 - 00:08:41,050and,apparently,wilwheatons best friend.50800:08:41,490 - 00:08:44,860- sheldon.- talk to the hand.50900:08:46,320 - 00:08:50,910does anyone have any words theyd liketo say about our man of the evening?51000:08:51,100 - 00:08:52,300i do.51100:08:53,560 - 00:09:00,570as is the tradition,i have prepared a series ofdisrespectful jokes which generate humor at howards expense.51200:09:00,670 - 00:09:02,520prepare to have your ribs tickled.51300:09:03,650 - 00:09:04,750howard.51400:09:04,800 - 00:09:10,680i always thought youd be the last one of us to everget married,because you are so short and unappealing.51500:09:10,740 - 00:09:12,920am i right?51600:09:13,750 - 00:09:14,490lets see here.51700:09:14,570 - 00:09:19,840oh,seriously though,howard,youre actuallyone of the most intelligent people i know.51800:09:19,960 - 00:09:22,060and thats a zinger,because youre not.51900:09:24,710 - 00:09:28,790ive always thought that youdmake someone a fine husband someday.52000:09:28,890 - 00:09:30,340assuming youd be able to get the parts,52100:09:30,410 - 00:09:33,960and develop the engineering skills toassemble them,which i dont see as likely.52200:09:34,030 - 00:09:36,070hacha!52300:09:37,500 - 00:09:38,780okay. let me see here.52400:09:38,920 - 00:09:43,090okay,kidding aside-howard,you are a good friend.52500:09:43,150 - 00:09:45,220and i wish you nothing but happiness.52600:09:45,320 - 00:09:47,210bazinga,i dont!52700:09:48,080 - 00:09:50,140- sheldon.- doubleazinga!i do!52800:09:52,000 - 00:09:53,240good luck following that.52900:09:56,390 - 00:09:59,590so,howard wolowitz tying the knot.53000:09:59,720 - 00:10:01,870leaving his crazy bachelor days behind.53100:10:01,930 - 00:10:03,920he was a wild one.53200:10:04,710 - 00:10:06,720well,i guess we all kind of were.53300:10:08,310 - 00:10:12,940i remember this one time,i waswith this girl at the beach.53400:10:14,120 - 00:10:17,750we were in the ocean andwe started making out.53500:10:19,440 - 00:10:21,010i know,it was crazy.53600:10:22,550 - 00:10:24,620i wasnt even wearing my aquasocks.53700:10:26,350 - 00:10:28,670- then.- nobody cares,hofstadter.wrap it up.53800:10:29,530 - 00:10:30,750right.53900:10:30,830 - 00:10:33,530to howard.to howard.54000:10:33,610 - 00:10:35,070i totally had sex in the ocean.54100:10:37,680 - 00:10:40,260okay,ill go.54200:10:42,080 - 00:10:49,200howard,when i think about you and bernadettestarting this wonderful life together,54300:10:50,500 - 00:10:52,810i cant help but get a little choked up.54400:10:52,860 - 00:10:54,500i mean. look at you.54500:10:54,540 - 00:10:56,870you have everything.54600:10:58,060 - 00:10:59,320look at me.54700:10:59,390 - 00:11:01,020im 37.54800:11:01,070 - 00:11:06,520i sleep in the back of a comic book store,andi have the bone density of an 80-year-old man.54900:11:10,020 - 00:11:11,500to howard.55000:11:12,570 - 00:11:14,670yeah,to howard.yes.55100:11:14,790 - 00:11:17,060um,uh,whos next?55200:11:17,140 - 00:11:19,050ill go.55300:11:19,150 - 00:11:25,040howard,im gonna say something to you that everybodysthinking but no one has the courage to say out loud.55400:11:25,570 - 00:11:30,200when you invite a man to a bachelor party,theimplication is,there will be strippers.55500:11:31,830 - 00:11:34,840maybe not completely nude,butat least pasties and g-strings.55600:11:34,910 - 00:11:36,710thats not unreasonable.55700:11:37,370 - 00:11:39,410- hear,hear.- hear,hear.55800:11:40,040 - 00:11:42,550okay,uh,anybody else? huh?55900:11:42,680 - 00:11:43,790no?56000:11:43,940 - 00:11:48,490okay,it all comes downto me,the best man.56100:11:50,130 - 00:11:53,220this grasshopper iskicking my ass-hopper.56200:11:54,570 - 00:12:00,870okay,okay,when i first came to this country,i-ididnt know how to behave or how to dress,56300:12:00,940 - 00:12:03,760or what was cool.i was pretty lonely.56400:12:03,850 - 00:12:07,970but then i met howard,and suddenly,my lifechanged,56500:12:07,970 - 00:12:11,750because we could be lonely together.56600:12:14,490 - 00:12:17,680this man became my whole world.56700:12:18,950 - 00:12:20,950yeah,nice speech,francine.56800:12:24,820 - 00:12:26,700im not done,but thank you.56900:12:28,130 - 00:12:29,910i think back.57000:12:32,910 - 00:12:35,270.to all the good times we had,like,uh,57100:12:35,450 - 00:12:39,180when we went camping and spent thatnight telling each other all our secrets.57200:12:39,320 - 00:12:45,700i told him im addicted to pedicures and hetold me he lost his virginity to his cousin.57300:12:48,920 - 00:12:50,660she was my second cousin.57400:12:51,140 - 0