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A Kiss for KateEvery afternoon when I came on duty as the evening nurse, I would walk the halls of the nursing home, pausing at each door to chat and observe. Often, Kate and Chris, their big scrapbooks in their laps, would be reminiscing over the photos. Proudly, Kate showed me pictures of bygone years: Chris tall, blond, handsome; Kate pretty, dark-haired, laughing. Two young lovers smiling through the passing seasons. How lovely they looked now, sitting there, the light shining on their white heads, their time-wrinkled faces smiling at the memories of the years, caught and held forever in the scrapbooks.How little the young know of loving, Id think. How foolish to think they have a monopoly on such a precious commodity. The old know what loving truly means; the young can only guess.Kate and Chris were always together in the dining room, the lounge, strolling around the big porches and lawns, always holding hands. As we staff members ate our evening meal, sometimes Kate and Chris would walk slowly by the dining-room doors. Then conversation would turn to a discussion of the couples love and devotion, and what would happen when one of them died. We knew Chris was the strong one, and Kate was dependent upon him. How would Kate function if Chris were to die first? We often wondered. Bedtime followed a ritual. When I brought the evening medication, Kate would be sitting in her chair, in nightgown and slippers, awaiting my arrival. Under the watchful eyes of Chris and myself, Kate would take her pill, then carefully Chris would help her from the chair to the bed and tuck the covers in around her frail body. Observing this act of love, I would think for the thousandth time, good heavens, why dont nursing homes have double beds for married couples? All their lives they have slept together, but in a nursing home, theyre expected to sleep in single beds. Overnight theyre deprived of a comfort of a lifetime. How very foolish such policies are, I would think as I watched Chris reach up and turn off the light above Kates bed. Then tenderly he would bend, and they would kiss gently. Chris would pat her cheek, and both would smile. He would pull up the side rail on her bed, and only then would he turn and accept his own medication. As I walked into the hall, I could hear Chris say, Good night, Kate, and her returning voice, Good-night, Chris, while the space of an entire room separated their two beds. I had been off duty two days and when I returned, the first news I heard was, Chris died yesterday morning. How? A heart attack. It happened quickly. Hows Kate? Bad. I went into Kates room. She sat in her chair, motionless, hands in her lap, staring. Taking her hands in mine, I said, Kate, its Phyllis. Her eyes never shifted; she only stared. I placed my hand under her chin and slowly turned her head so she had to look at me. Kate, I just found out about Chris. Im so sorry. At the word Chris, her eyes came back to life. She looked at me, puzzled, as though wondering how I had suddenly appeared. Kate, its me, Phyllis. Im so sorry about Chris. Recognition and sadness flooded her face. Tears welled up and slid down her cheeks. Chris is gone, she whispered. I know, I said. I know. We pampered Kate for a while, letting her eat in her room, surrounding her with special attention. Then gradually the staff worked her back into the old schedule. Often, as I went past her room, I would observe Kate sitting in her chair, scrapbooks on her lap, gazing sadly at pictures of Chris. Bedtime was the worst part of the day for Kate. Although she was allowed to move from her bed to Chriss bed, and although the staff chatted and laughed with her as they tucked her in for the night, still Kate remained silent and sadly withdrawn. Passing her room an hour after she had been tucked in, Id find her wide awake, staring at the ceiling. The weeks passed, and bedtime wasnt any better. She seemed so restless, so insecure. Why? I wondered. Why this time of day more than the other hours?Then one night as I walked into her room, only to find the same wide-awake Kate, I said impulsively, Kate, could it be you miss your good-night kiss? Bending down, I kissed her wrinkled cheek. It was as though I had opened the floodgates. Tears ran down her face; her hands gripped mine. Chris always kissed me good-night, she cried. I know, I whispered. I miss him so, all those years he kissed me good-night. She paused while I wiped the tears. I just cant seem to go to sleep without his kiss. She looked up at me, her eyes full of tears. Oh, thank you for giving me a kiss. A small smile turned up the corners of her mouth. You know, she said confidentially, Chris used to sing me a song. He did? Yes, her white head nodded and I lie here at night and think about i
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