Adding manpower to a late software project makes it laterF.doc

To err is human - but it feels divine.Mae West When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.J. P. DonleavyIn The Ginger Man. I bought some batteries, but they werent included.Steven Wright I adore adverbs; they are the only qualifications I really much respect.Henry James. No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.Aristotle I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I cant get my wife to go swimming.Jimmy Carter. The best way to behave is to misbehave.Mae West Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible? The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts havent seen the joke yet.Oliver Herford. I was always unlawful; I broke the law when I was born because my parents werent married. George Bernard Shaw I may be paralyzed from the waist down, but unlike Gray Davis, Im not paralyzed from the neck up.Larry Flynt Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.Woody Allen As the poet said, Only God can make a tree - probably because its so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.Woody Allen I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.Woody Allen No human investigation can be called real science if it cannot be demonstrated mathematically.Leonardo da Vinci A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.Ambrose Bierce Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. Only one man ever understood me, and he didnt understand me.G.W. Hegel. Its not the men in my life that count, its the life in my men.Mae West A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, Im afraid of widths.Steven Wright Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation.Larry Flynt In Hollywood, if you dont have happiness you send out for it.Rex Reed. Sex is an emotion in motion.Mae West I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov. Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I dont like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that.Bill Shankly To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Paul Ehrlich. In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete. Yakov Smirnoff. A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.Bob Hope Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.Alfred Hitchcock. You cannot have everything. I mean, where would you put it?Steven Wright. England and America are two countries divided by a common language.Bernard Shaw Martins acting is so inept that even his impersonation of a lush seems unconvincing. Harry Medved on Dean Martin You can tell German wine from vinegar by the labelMark Twain. The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.Tom Clancy. Bart, with $10,000, wed be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like.love!Homer Simpson I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesnt like it when you join in.Mick Miller. Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.Bruce Brown I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.Woody Allen One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him. Jeffrey Bernard. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.Groucho Marx Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.Lewis Mumford This is the sixth book Ive written, which isnt bad for a guy whos only read two.George Burns. If everything seems under control, youre just not going fast enough. Mario Andretti. I never forget a face, but in your case Ill be glad to make an exception.Groucho Marx What I dont like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. Phyllis Diller. A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.Ambrose Bierce Bart, stop pestering Satan!Marge Simpson On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.Dan Spencer Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. Memory is like an orgasm. Its a lot better if you dont have to fake it.Seymore Cray (on virtual memory) The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.Dave Barry I intend to live forever. So far, so good.Steven Wright The main difference for the history of the world if I had been shot rather than Kennedy is that Onassis probably wouldnt have married Mrs Khrushchev.Nikita Khrushchev. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. General George Patton Some guy hit my fender and I said be fruitful and multiply but not in those words.Woody Allen My ex-husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.Woody Allen I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.Jeffrey Bernard. Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. Bill Cosby. If it sells, its art.Frank Lloyd Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.Daniel J. Boorstin. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.Albert Einstein Sarah Brightman couldnt act scared on the New York subway at 4 oclock in the morning.Joel Segal. Just remember, once youre over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Charles Schulz. Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.Oscar Wilde I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. WC Fields. Every man over forty is a scoundrel.George Bernard Shaw If people dont sit at Chaplins feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting. Herman J. Mankiewicz Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook. Too much of a good thing is wonderful.Mae West You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. Ive only ever had one. Albert Einstein. My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.Mohammed Saeed al-SahafOn US soldiers attacking Baghdad. The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.Jay Leno Im not a fighter, I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.Woody Allen Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didnt do it. 3.To your Boss I like your style.David Brent The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.Jeanne-Marie Roland Id never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.Mercedes McCambridge There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?Woody Allen I tried sex once with a woman and that woman was Gala. It was overrated. I tried sex once with a man and that man was the famous juggler Federico Garcia Lorca the Spanish Surrealist poet. It was very painful.Salvador Dali The concert is a polite form of self induced torture.Henry Miller. There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentlemans toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.Hugh Leonard Everything that can be invented has been invented. Charles Duell. Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.Ralph Johnson Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend and inside of a dog, its too dark to read.Groucho Marx 驾校一点通365网 /guangxi/ 广西驾校一点通I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.Steven Wright He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.Steven Wright I got a chain letter by fax. Its very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.Steven Wright Id call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.Woody Allen Submitted by Elizabeth GoodwinChildren must speak a different language than their pare