商务英语写作-教案.doc

Chapter 1 Introduction to Business WritingI Teaching Objectives:Students will be able to1. Learn the functions and basic pattern of business writing;2. Aware the criteria for effective business writing;3. Master the effects of information-communication in business writing.4. Learn the basic patterns of business writingII Contents:1 Topic: An Overview of Business Writing2 Key words: functions criteria effects patterns3 Function: Understand why practical writing is so important and what business writing is.III Procedure:1.1 IntroductionQ: Why the ability to write effectively is a valuable business asset?s A great deal of business is transacted in writing.s Effective business writers can promote good relations with customers, employees and the general public. Then they can help to increase their companys sales and profits.s Proficiency in writing gives one a personal advantage in business; and contributes substantially to ones self-confidence.1.2 Functions of business writing To inform: you explain something or tell readers something To persuade or request: you want the reader to act. The word “request” suggests that the action will be easy or routine; “persuade “suggests that you will have to motivate and convince the readers to act. To entertain To build goodwill: you create a good image of yourself and of your organization- the kind of image that makes people want to do business with you.Most messages have multiple purposes. When you answer a question, youre informing, but you also want to build goodwill by suggesting that youre competent and perceptive and that your answer is correct and complete. In a claims adjustment, whether your answer is yes or not, you want to suggest that the readers claim has been given careful consideration and that the decision is fair, businesslike, and justified.DocumentDescription of documentPurpose(s) of documentQuotationLetter giving price for a specific product, fabrication(装配), or serviceInform，build goodwill (price is reasonable)Claims adjustmentLetter granting or denying customer request to be given credit for defective goodsInform, build goodwillJob descriptionDescription of qualifications and duties of each job. Used for performance appraisals, setting salaries, and for hiringInform, persuade good candidates to apply; build goodwill (job duties match level, pay)10-K reportReport filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) detailing financial rmThank-you letterLetter to suppliers, customers, or other people who have helped individuals or the companyBuild goodwill1.3 Criteria for effective business writing (6 Cs):s A successful business message: (1) the receiver interprets the msg as the sender intended it. (2) it achieves the senders purposes. s Six Cs principles: Courtesy: treating people with respect and friendly human concern. Correctness: correct grammar, punctuation and spelling; choosing the correct level of language and using accurate information and data. Conciseness: to write in the fewest possible words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy. Clarity: short familiar words and simple short sentences are better.(your writings are totally understood) Concreteness: vivid, specific, definite Completeness: include all necessary information and dataBASIC FIVE CRITERIA:1. Its clear (Clarity). The meaning the reader gets is the meaning the writer intended. The reader doesnt have to guess.2. Its complete (Completeness). All of the readers questions are answered. The reader has enough information to evaluate the msg. and act on it.3. Its correct (Correctness). All of the information in the msg. is accurate. The msg. is free from errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, word order, and sentence structure.4. It saves the readers time.- (Conciseness) The style, organization, and visual impact of the msg. help the reader to read, understand, and act on the information as quickly as possible.5. It builds goodwill. The msg. presents a positive image of the writer and his or her organization. It treats the reader as a person, not a number. It cements to make a relationship between people, countries, or organizations firm and strongcement a relationship/alliancea good relationship between the writer and the reader.1.4 Adapting to modern changes in business writing (communicate effects) goodwill effects: It is desirable in letterformal something that is desirable is worth having or doingbecause: (1) for business reasons (2)It is the effect most of us want in our relations. other effects: sometimes ensure the success of business letters.(1)the techniques of persuasion (2)techniques that emphasize your qualification (3) play down the unwelcome part Achieving the desired effects, we can do the following: Conversational Style: warm and natural language Resisting Tendency to Be Formal: There is a misconception that big words and difficult words are preferred in business letters. They resulted in a cold and unnatural styledo not produce goodwill effect. Avoiding the Old Language of Business: cold tone, formal language of law and flowery language of nobility.E.g.: Your letter of the 7th inst (-dated or fml commerce-instant (of this month);Please be advised to;Wherein you state as per (根据) your letter;Thanking you in advance. You-viewpoint (you-attitude你式写法)-building goodwill: focus interest on the readerfor persuasion and for influencing people favorablyemphasize “you” and “your”, de-emphasize “we” and “our”not just using second pronouns, but placing the reader in the center of thingsRead your msg. over as if you were in your readers shoes. How would you feel if you received it?avoid insincerity, obviously flattery, too chummy friendly亲切的, avoid slang, clichs, and “in” jokesshared by or appealing to a small group （小圈子内）分享的或感兴趣的: an in-joke 一则内部笑话.using it for good goals. Accent on Positive Language: best for letter goals, put the reader in the right frame of mind; create the goodwill atmosphere.l You emphasize the positive when you:(1) Put positive information first, give it more space, or set it off visually in an indented缩进的 list.(2) Eliminate negative words whenever possible.(3) Focus on what is possible, not what is impossible. Singling Out Your Reader: write for the readers particular situation, and the reader gets individual treatment. “We look forward to the possibility of sending our executives to you in the years ahead.” Using the Readers Names: It makes the reader feel that his/her identity as individual is recognized.-once or twice, not too often. Avoiding Anger: jeopardize goodwillsarcasm, insult, exclamation; but when positive words have not brought desired results, negative words may be justified.1.5 Basic patterns of business writing: deductivelyusing the knowledge and information you have in order to understand or form an opinion about something or inductivelyusing known facts to produce general principles inductive argument是总结，归纳。先举出散例/特征，然后归纳总结。deductive argument是给一个总的定义/概念，然后再找实例/原因来support你的theme（中心思想）These can elicit the response or action: 1. directness in good-news and routine messages:! Begin with the main idea(present good-news or routine information);! Followed by supporting details;! End with goodwill 2. indirectness in bad-news messages:! a buffer! reasons supporting the negative decision! a clear, diplomatic statement of the negative decision! a helpful, friendly, and positive close. 3. indirectness in persuasion! Open with words that set up strategy needs and appeals, emotion, logic and credibility, and gain attention.! Present the strategy (persuasion)using persuasive language and you-viewpoint! End the letter by describing precisely what you would like to happen, restating how the audience will benefit by acting as you wish and making action easy to take.1.6 Pair work- questions for comprehension1.7 Group discussion- sample analysis1.8 PracticeVI Assessmentl Exercises in the textbook补充专题：Main point is buriedGentlemen:What information?Please be advised that upon reviewing your credit file with us we find the information herein outdated. In an effort to expedite the handling of your future orders with us, and to allow us to open an appropriate line of credit for your company, we ask that you send an updated list of vendor references. Any other additional financial information that you can supply would be to both of our benefits.Prove it!May we hear from you soon?n Clarity：SayDont saySayDont sayBigSubstantialTo issueTo promulgateHome, houseDomicilePayRemunerationUseUtilizeAboutCircaForFor the purpose ofDuringDuring the year ofNeedHave need forOftenIn many casesBecauseDue to the fact thatSinceFor the reason thatEconomicalWordyWill u please return the enclosed card and arrange a convenient time for an interview?At this time I am writing to you to enclose the postpaid appointment card for the purpose of arranging a convenient time when we might get together for a personal interview.I am writing about the Russell account to list potential issues before the clients visit.I am writing in order to list the potential issues in regard to the Russell account in advance of the clients visit.ConcreteGeneralThese breaks stop a 2-ton car, traveling 60 miles an hour, within 240 feet.These breaks stop a car within a short distance.This computer types 1,000 personalized 150-word campaign letters in one hour.This computer reproduces campaign letters fast.n You-attitudePutting what you want to say in you-attitude is a crucial step both in thinking about the readers needs and in communicating your concern to the reader.How to Create You-Attitude:1. Talk about the reader, not about yourself.I have negotiated an agreement with Apex Rent-a-Car that gives you a discount on rental cars.As a Sunstrand employee, you can now get a 20% discount when you rent a car from Apex.We are shipping your order of September 21 this afternoon.The two dozen Corning Ware starter sets you ordered will be shipped this afternoon and should reach you by September 28. (if you cant be exact, “A UPS shipment from California to Texas normally takes three days.” If you have absolutely no idea, give the reader the name of the carrier, so the reader knows whom to contact, if the order doesnt arrive promptly.)2. Refer to the readers request or order specificallyIf your reader is an individual or a small business, its friendly to specify the content of the order; if youre writing to a company with which you do a great deal of business, give the invoice or purchase order number.Your order(to individual):The desk chair you ordered(to a large store):Your invoice #7833293. Dont talk about feelings, except to congratulate or offer sympathy.We are happy to extend you a credit line of $5,000.You can now charge up to $5,000 on your American Express card.The reader doesnt care whether youre happy, bored stiff at granting a routine application, or worried about granting so much to someone who barely qualifies. All the reader cares about is the situation from his or her point of view.It is appropriate to talk about your own emotions in a msg. of congratulations or condolence.Congratulations on your promotion to district manager! I was really pleased to read about it.Youll be happy to hear that Open Grip Walkway Channels meet OSHA requirements.Open Grip Walkway Channels meet OSHA requirements.When you have good news for the reader, simply give the good news. Dont predict the readers response.Youll be happy to hear that your scholarship has been renewed.Congratulations! Your scholarship has been renewed.4. In positive situations, use “you” more often than “I”. Use “we” when it includes the reader.We provide health insurance to all employees.You receive health insurance as a full-time Proter & Gamble employee.5. In negative situation, avoid the word “you”. Protect the readers ego. Use passive verbs and impersonal expressions to avoid assigning blame.You must get approval from the director before you publish any articles or memoirs based on your work in the agency.Agency personnel must get approval from the director to publish any articles or memoirs based on their work at the agency.Using passive verbs and impersonal expressions to avoid blaming the reader.Passive verbs: the action performed on something, without necessarily saying who did it.Impersonal expressions: omit people and talk only about things.You made no allowance for inflation in your estimate.(passive):No allowance for inflation has been made in this estimate.(impersonal):This estimate makes no allowance for inflation.To create goodwill with content,s Be complete. When you have lots of information to give, consider putting some details in an appendix, which may be read later.s Anticipate and answer questions the reader is likely to have.s When you include information the reader didnt ask for, show why it is important.s Show readers how the subject of your message affects them.To organize information to build goodwill,s Put information readers are most interested in first.s Arrange information to meet your readers needs, not yours.s Use headings and lists so that the reader can find key points quickly. A letter Lacking You-AttitudeLegalisticDear Ms. McFarland:Sounds dictatorialNot u-attitudeWe are now ready to issue a check to Rollins Equipment in the amount of $14,207.02. To receive said check, you will deliver to me a release of the mechanics liens in the amount of $14,207.02.Foucuses on negativeHard to read, rememberBefore we can release the check, we must be satisfied that the release is in the proper form. We must insist that we be provided with a stamped original of the lien indicating the document number in the appropriate district court where it is filed. Also, either the release must be executed by an officer of Rollins Equipment, or we must be provided with a letter from an officer of Rollins Equipment authorizing another individual to execute the release.Please contact the undersigned so that an appointment can be scheduled for this transaction.JargonSincerely,Kelly. J. PickettStarts with main point from the readers point of viewDear Ms. McFarland:Lets clear up the lien in the Allen contract.Focuses on what reader getsRollins will receive a check for $14,207.02 when you give us a release for the mechanics lien of $14,207.02. To assure us that the release is in the proper form.List makes it easy to see that reader needs to do two things-and that the second can be done in two ways.1. Give us a stamped original of the lien indicating the documents district court number, and2. Eithera. Have an officer of Rollins Equipment sign the release orb. Give us a letter from a Rollins officer authorizing someone else to sign the release.Emphasizes readers choiceCall me to tell me which way is best for you.Sincerely,Kelly J. Pickettn Positive Emphasis1. Avoid negative words and words with negative connotations.We have failed to finish taking inventory.Better:We havent finished taking inventory.Still better:We will be finished taking inventory Friday.If you cant understand this explanation, feel free to call me.Better:If you have further questions, just call me.Still better:Omit the sentence.Never fail to back up your disks.Always back up your disks.Your balance of $835 is delinquent.Your balance of $835 is past due.“however”: indicate a shift, so, after a positive statement, they are negative.“I hope” and “I trust” suggest that you arent sure.I hope this is the information you wanted. (implication: Im not sure)Better:Enclosed is a brochure about road repairs scheduled for 2004-06.Still better:The brochure contains a list of all roads and bridges scheduled for repair during 2004-06. Call Gwen Wong at 555-3245 for specific dates when work will start and stop and for alternate routes.Please be patient as we switch to the automated system. (Implication: You can expect problems.)Better:If you have questions during our transition to the automated system, call Melissa Morgan.Still better:Youll be able to get information instantly about any house on the market when the automated system is in place. If you have questions during the transition, call Melissa Morgan.Now Crispy Crunch tastes better. (Implication: it used to taste terrible.)Better: Now Crispy Crunch tastes even better.I hope that you are satisfied enough to place future orders.Arrogant:I look forward to receiving all of your future business.Better:Call Mercury whenever you need computer chips.The exercycle is not guaranteed for life.Not true:The exercycle is guaranteed for life.True:The exercycle is guaranteed for 10 years.Customers under 60 are not eligible for the Prime Time discount.Not ture:You must be over 60 to be eligible for the Prime Time discount.If youre 60 or older, you can save 10% on all your purchases with RightWays Prime Time discount.2. State information positively. Focus on what the reader can do rather than on what you wont or cant let the reader do.Negative:We will not allow you to charge more than $1,500 on your VISA account.Better:You can charge $1,500 on your new VISA card.Or:Your new VISA car gives you $1,500 in credit that you can use at thousands of stores nationwide.You will not qualify for the student membership rate of $25 a year unless you are a full-time student.Yo