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I Have His Genes But Not His Genius The first part It s Christmas Eve 2040 and I m the only bartender still working that afternoon and the house is practically empty I see this guy down at the end of the bar sitting by himself I bring him a fresh drink and wish him greetings of the season Bartender hey guy Merry Christmas Mozart Mozart looks at bartender sort of funny Merry Christmas Do you know who I am Bartender I am so sorry that I don t know Mozart pulls a little picture out of his wallet Mozart It maybe will help you An old portrait really old like centuries old It s a young man in profile sharp nose weak chin definite resemblance to my friend here At the bottom there s a caption W A Mozart Bartender You re that clone guy The guy in the papers back in the 20s Mozart In the flesh Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart I have his brain his heart his DNA He s my father and my mother and my brother He s my identical twin except I was born 247 years later The second part So Mozart starts talking It takes him a long time to explain and I didn t get it all but I got a lot In 2001 Congress passed a ban on cloning humans but of course mad scientists went ahead with bsecret cloning Billionare I am crazy about Mozart and I am especially nuts about Mozart s Requiem So I set up a secret institute in Switzerland and hired some top biologists and told them they d get 1 million each for every baby they cloned from Mozart s DNA In 2003 the institute managed to bring four babies to term Two died shortly after birth Two survived But then this software billionaire died and his company collapsed and so did his cloning institute One baby Mozart was put up for adoption anonymously No one knows what happened to that one A women scientist I am a big Mozart fan so I will adopt one of the two little boys I won t tell him or anyone else who he is but I will tell the boy how special he is how he is a genius what a great composer he could be trying to push my little Mozart toward music The third part Bartender But the 2010s weren t the 1760s You may have had talent but you also had your own priorities and they didn t include violin sonatas Mozart I liked rock music and liked it loud and then as I got older I liked beer and girls The harder my mother pushed me to be a great composer the less I wanted to be one By the time I was 20 I had a decent job working in a frame shop And that s when the roof fell in Some reporter got wind of the institute and the cloning experiment and tracked him down But no one could prove he was a clone of Mozart without digging up the original so the media treated him as a joke The fourth part Bartender It just crushed you Did you try running away Mozart Yeah I joined a Buddhist monastery in Japan One day while I was there I heard the Requiem Not for the first time but this time it was different Bartender My God it was beautiful Mozart I felt a realization explode inside my head I just felt it somehow It rang inside of me I d finish it or die trying He knew that if he could finish the Requiem he d be famous for real a genius instead of a fool Bartender And what happened Mozart I turned 37 four months ago I ve been working on the Requiem for 15 years Mozart died when he was 35 I should have finished the Requiem two years ago Bartender And you haven t Mozart You don

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