2012高考英语 考前30天之备战 专题五 书面表达升格指导 第三节 图画式作文升格指导 病文升格学案

用心 爱心 专心1 第三节第三节 图画式作文升格指导图画式作文升格指导 病文展示 We can see from the picture a boy is washing clothes listen music and the taps are not closed However on the wall there is a sign please save water We often see this kind of thing As the development of our society people are 用心 爱心 专心2 having better and better life But waste water is becoming a serious problem Many people don t know water is rare A lot of people in the world are lack And also many factories pour dirty water into the river I think we should take measures to save water Don t waste water and don t pollute the rivers too If we don t save every drop of water the last drop of water would be our tear 病文点评 这篇习作能从整体上把握写作要求 画面要点没遗漏 也能观察出画面的内在含义 写作 时一定的条理性 按照图画作文写作的三步骤来写 即 描述画面 说明原因 采取措施 主要问题在于语言基本功不扎实 语法 词汇用法错误较多 字数也偏少 因此得分在13分左 右 句中出现语法 词汇用法错误 listen后面应该to washing和listening都应用进行 时 建议改为 As we can see from the picture a boy is washing clothes and listening to music with the taps running 句中as是连词 而the development of our society 不是句子 改为With the development of our society people are having better and better life 句中动词做主语应该用 ing形式 可以改为But wasting water is becoming a serious problem 4句中lack用作动词时 句子应为A lot of people in the world lack water 5句中too 改为 either 升格范文 Here comes a picture a boy who is washing his clothes listens to the music with two taps running What shocks us is that just on the wall an obvious sign says please save water However the water still keeps running This is not an unusual phenomenon We can see it in our daily life With the rapid development of our society people s life is getting better and better However the extravagant life style is becoming a serious problem Many people don t realize the lack of water and some even don t know that in many places of 用心 爱心 专心3 the world water is rare What s worse without considering the pollution of water some factories pour dirty water into the river causing the shortage of fresh water As a student it is time we took useful measures to save our limited fresh water Without water there would be no life Don t make it come true that the last drop of water is our tear 范文点评 1 本文照描述图片 分析现象 提出措施的步骤来写 显得结构严谨 条理清晰 2 本文的一大亮点是 句式变化多端不单一 高级句式层出 比如 a boy who is washing his clothes listens to the music with two taps running包 含非限制性定于从句和with复合结构 What shocks us is that just on the wall an obvious sign says please save water 此句为主语从句 What s worse without considering the pollution of water some factories pour dirty water into the river causing the shortage of fresh water 此句中两次出现非谓 语结构 As a student it is time we took useful measures to save our limited fresh water it is time that 是虚拟语气的高级句式 能准确运用 很好 Don t make it come true that the last drop of water is our tear 此句中it为形 式宾语 the last drop of water is our tear为比喻 非常形象 令人感觉触目惊心 更觉 得保护水资源的重要 应考对策 图画式作文往往所含信息限 学生要充分利用图画前面或后面的说明文字 它们 可以帮助你更好地理解画面 然后 根据画面内容描述画面 要点不能遗漏 接着 依据画面 所反映的问题分析原因 提出解决问题的方案 当然在写作过程中 要尽量使用一些高级的词 汇和变化的句式 并使用一定的连接词 使得行文流畅 优美 答后总结 悟到 才是真正的得到 通过上面的升格训练 你能总结出高分作文的写作技 巧吗 请你认真总结 观察下面的一幅图画 结合你身边的事例 谈谈你对培养孩子成才的看法 用心 爱心 专心4 范文 Dream and Reality Nowadays there is an increasing tendency for parents to design the future for their children Regardless of the children s interest some parents want them to attend all kinds of extra classes laying a heavy burden on their shoulders As a result the children almost have no time to play A typical case is my neighbor Mr and Mrs Wang They want their child to be an artist They choose a music class on Saturday and a painting class on Sunday for the child In fact the child has no interest at all The child is kept busy all day After a few years their efforts are in vain I think parents should let their children develop their interests by themselves and give them enough time and space to learn what they want to learn Children should b