中式英语之鉴VIP

1 Part One Unnecessary Words All authorities on the style of English prose agree that good writing is concise Careful writers say what they mean in as few words as possible Vigorous writing is concise A sentence should contain no unnecessary words a paragraph no unnecessary sentences for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts It follows that any words which perform no useful function in the sentence that is which add nothing to the meaning should be edited out Almost every text that has been translated into English from Chinese or that has been written directly in English by a native speaker of Chinese contains unnecessary words Draft translations are commonly full of them and even polished final versions are seldom free of them Read anything that has been published in English for foreign readers a magazine article a news story an advertisement a government report and you are likely to find superfluous words Read even the shortest of English texts the label on a food product a billboard on Chang an the company name on the front of a building and if you are on the alert to recognize them chances are that you will find words that could and should have been omitted Unnecessary words are the hallmark of Chinglish Unnecessary words can be any part of speech nouns verbs adjectives adverbs prepositions articles and so on In the following chapters we shall consider the most important types starting with unnecessary nouns and verbs which often go hand in hand I Unnecessary Nouns and Verbs Nouns Most unnecessary nouns in Chinglish appear not alone but in short phrases combined with articles and prepositions When you eliminate the nouns you eliminate the articles and prepositions as well Many of these nouns are easy to recognize They are plainly redundant because their sense is already included or implied in some other element of the sentence Here are a few examples A with suggested revisions B and comments in brackets 加快经济改革步伐加快经济改革步伐 A to accelerate the pace of economic reform B to accelerate economic reform To accelerate to increase the pace of 农业获得大丰收农业获得大丰收 A There have been good harvests in agriculture B There have been good harvests Harvest implies agriculture there are no harvests in industry 城乡人民生活水平持续上升 A Living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas continued to rise B Living standards in both urban and rural areas continued to rise The notion of living standards applies only to people 这些困难从本质上说是暂时的 A These hardships are temporary in nature B These hardships are temporary Any adjectives describes the nature or character of the noun it modifies To say that 2 hardships are temporary in nature is like saying that the Chinese flag is red in color or that pandas are few in number 我国未来的经济发展在很大程度上有赖于 A The development of our economy in the future will to a large extent depend on B The development of our economy will to a large extent depend on The future tense of the verb will depend is sufficient to express futurity 我们应采取一系列措施来保证 A we should adopt a series of measures to ensure that B we should adopt measures to ensure that Here the plural form of measures covers the sense of a series Other unnecessary nouns or gerunds may be less easy to identify Nevertheless a little thought will reveal that they add nothing to the meaning of the sentence When they are deleted the sense is not diminished only clarified Some examples 在实现农业机械化和电气化后 A following the realization of mechanization and electrification of agriculture B following the of mechanization and electrification of agriculture 必须加强国防建设 A It is essential to strengthen the building of national defense B It is essential to strengthen national defense 这些构成了努力实现过渡时期的伟大任务的重要条件 A These constitute important conditions in striving for the fulfillment of the general task in the transitional period B These are important conditions for fulfilling the general task in the transition period 当时 东北的形势仍然是敌强我弱 A At that time the situation in northeast China was still one where the enemy was stronger than the people s forces B At that time the enemy was still stronger than the people s forces in northeast China Situation is a particularly dangerous noun Not only is it generally unnecessary but it drags other unnecessary elements after it in this instance one where 解决问题的关键在于削减开支 A The key to the solution lies in the curtailment of expenditure B The solution is to curtail or cut back on expenditure Key is sometimes useful but usually it too can be dispensed with And like situation it often leads to further unnecessary complications here lies in 党内民主是已详细讨论过的问题 A Inner Party democracy is a subject that has been discussed in detail B Inner Party democracy has been discussed in detail Category nouns There is one type of noun that deserves special mention because it is the commonest unnecessary word in Chinglish This is the general noun that serves only to introduce a specific noun or gerund to follow a serious mistake in the work of planning 计划工作中的错误 In such constructions the first noun announces the category of the second in this case it tells readers that planning falls into the category of work That is something they already know Accordingly the first nouns should be deleted a serious mistake in planning 3 Other examples 促进和平统一事业 A promoting the cause of peaceful reunification B promoting peaceful reunification 经济领域的改革 A reforms in the sphere of the economy B reforms in the economy or economic reforms 保证双方之间的亲密合作关系 A to ensure a relationship of close cooperation between B to ensure close cooperation between 我们必须反对铺张浪费的行为 A We must oppose the practice of extravagance B We must oppose extravagance 这些原则适应于处理中外关系中的所有情况 A These principles apply to all cases of relations between China and other countries B These principles apply to relations between China and all other countries 这种情况 加上价格不稳定的因素 引起 A This coupled with the factor of price instability caused B This coupled with price instability caused Whatever function the category noun serves in Chinese in English it is generally useless All it adds to the sentence is weight without substance Verbs Like unnecessary nouns most unnecessary verbs in Chinglish occur in phrases Usually they are combined with nouns plus the inevitable articles and prepositions that nouns bring with them These phrases are of two principal types 1 Unnecessary verbs plus noun 2 Unnecessary verb plus unnecessary noun plus third word we shall look at first one and then the other 1 Unnec verb noun The commonest type is a phrase like we must make an improvement in our work Here the verb make is a weak colorless all purpose word having no very specific meaning of its own while the real action is expressed in the noun improvement Since the verb is not contributing anything to the sense it can be edited out We must improve our work The basic pattern is unnec verb noun Both translators and polishers tend to overlook constructions of this sort because they are grammatically correct and because precisely everyone is so accustomed to them Once you became alert to the pattern however it is easy enough to eliminate the unnecessary words by substituting plain verbs 我们想在一夜之间完成整个社会的变革是不可能的 A It is impossible for us to accomplish the transformation of the whole society overnight 4 B It is impossible for us to transform the whole society overnight 他们应该对 进行仔细的检查 A They should conduct a careful examination of B They should carefully examine 试图诱使朝鲜军队对他们发动一场攻击 A trying to entice the Korean army to launch an attack against them B trying to entice the Korean army to attack them 改变这种局面 A to bring about a change in this state of affairs B to change this state of affairs 他们必须下决心对现存体制进行改革 A They must make up their minds to implement the reform of the current system B They must make up their minds to reform the current system 直到中国实现工业现代化 A until China realizes industrial modernization B until China modernizes its industry The construction may also appear in passive voice That is instead of we must make improvement in our work we find an improvement must be made in our work But this is only a variation of the same pattern and the solution is the same too substitution a plain verb The result is our work must be improved because to make an improvement in to improve More examples in passive voice 应当批准所有这些项目 A Approval should be given to all these projects B All these projects should be approved because to give approval to to approve 只有通过 才能找出解决这些问题的办法 A Solutions to these problems can be found only through B These problems can be solved only through because to find solution to to solve 实行粮食配给 A Grain rationing was implemented B Grain was rationed Because to implement rationing to ration The verb most frequently found in these combinations with nouns is to make To make an investigation of to investigate To make a careful study of to study carefully To make a decision to to decide to To make a proposal that to propose that To make efforts to to try attempt to To make an analysis of to analyze The runner up is doubtless to have To have a dislike for to dislike 5 To have an influence on to influence To have adequate knowledge of to know enough about To have the need of to need To have request for to respect But many others can be seen on every pages as well To give guidance to to guide To provide assistance to to assist To carry out the struggle against to struggle against To conduct reform of to reform To engage in free discussion of to discuss it freely To achieve success in to succeed in To accomplish the modernization of to modernize To realize the transformation of to transform To bring about an improvement in to improve To place stress on to stress To exercise control over to control To register an increase to increase You should be on watch for all of them 2 Unnec verb unnec noun third word As we have seen in the first type of phrase a vague and general verb incapable of expressing specific action shifts the responsibility for that task onto a noun In the second type however the noun cannot perform the task either Consider our efforts to reach the goal of modernization Here the noun goal is no more precise than the verb reach Indeed the goal of is another example of the superfluous category noun This means that the work of the verb has to be done by still another word a second noun modernization Since now the first noun is not doing anything useful in the sentence it too can be eliminated along with the all purpose verb The result is our efforts to modernize In the phrases of this type the basic pattern unnec verb noun has been expanded to unnec Verb unnec Noun third word As in the example above the third word is usually another noun or gerund Since this new noun is performing the function of a verb it should be given the form of a verb 我军缓慢前进 A Our troops used the method of slow advance B Our troops advanced slowly 需要三个师的驻军来执行守卫仓库的任务 A Three garrison divisions were necessary to perform the task of guarding warehouses B Three garrison divisions were necessary to guard warehouses 我们决定后撤 A We adopted the policy of withdrawal 6 B We withdrew or decided to withdraw This was a particular tactical retreat not a general military policy 在所有问题上我们都要采取 知之为知之 不知为不知 的态度 A In all matters we must assume the attitude of admitting what we do and do not know B We should always be re