20条实用的心理调节策略.doc

20条实用的心理调节策略美国著名心理学家尤文韦伯和约翰摩根在美国心理学协会159位心理学家的协助下，运用人类行为模式理论和心理学研究成果，对众多政界精英、商界精英在日常生活中运用的“心理调节术”进行了深入的研究，并且对他们所采用的心理调节策略进行详细的分析解说。1、人生的有趣之处，就在于它是一个充满诸多不确定性的，开放的过程。其中，有失败的痛苦，有成功的喜悦，有冒险的刺激，有思考的深沉。试想当我们的生活缺少了这些，那它还值得去追求和奋斗吗？2、人和人之间的信任是相互的，首先向对方伸出橄榄枝的必然是更强势的一方，这种信任才体现的信任的本质，因为信任不是屈服。3、与人交流合作要学会换位思考。首先，要有一个宽广的胸怀，在被他人误解时，不要为自己争辩和闹情绪，而是要实际行动证明自己；其次，要有大局意识，多从对方角度考虑，主动诚恳的接受批评；再次要有自我批评的勇气；同时，还要善于开诚公布的交流，彼此增进了解。4、想要博得别人的喜欢，就是需要你先去喜欢别人，想要喜欢别人，你就要看到对方的优点。5、让别人知道你和他们有着相同的兴趣，对于保持良好的关系至关重要。如果你在谈话时总爱夸夸其谈，就会引起被人讨厌；如果你谈论的是对方感兴趣的话题，拉近彼此之间的距离就容易多了。6、那些经常被一些别有用心的人包围着的人，与那些地位卑微的人相比，更看重人与人之间真诚的感情和关怀。7、替你自己工作，你便是单干；替别人工作，则会有数十上百人给你帮助-合作的基础在于共赢。8、当一个人专注做事的时候，他就会忘记自己忘掉附加在自己身上的太多是非。并且，过分计较自己利益的习惯会成为自己事业的阻力。9、与人交往时记住这两点：第一，别人都是重要的；第二，自己也是很重要的-以平等的观点看待他人有利于你从容地做事。10、克服自我感觉强烈的最好方法就是多留心别人，多留心对方的兴趣，愿望和行动等等，以此来暂时忘记自己。11、批评就像一条狗，他见你怕它，便会愈加追赶你，恐吓你。但是如果你回过头勇敢地面对他，他便会停止吼叫，相反摇着尾巴，让你去抚摸-怎样应对批评和侮辱，反应出一个人的素质和处世哲学。12、想象一下，十位最有名望的画家齐聚一堂，围绕着一张圆桌坐下，一起对摆在圆桌当中的一个苹果进行素描，结果会如何？一定是每一个人画出来的苹果都不一样，因为每个人看苹果的角度都不相同-固执的认为自己对待事物的看法是正确的，对他人的看法采取封闭态度，只能局限自己-因此多听比多说重要。13、当一个人怕别人看不起你所做的事的时候是最想吹牛的时候，这时你想通过吹牛这种夸大事实的方式，来引起别人对你的重视，而当你说的天花乱坠的时候，引来的往往是讥笑。14、当你要吹牛时，想想自己如何厌恶别人吹牛，那你就不会做这种蠢事了。15、将要做的事远远比已经做的了事更重要，过去的价值，就是在于它对你的将来有帮助。16、习惯性怨恨会导致自怜，而自怜是一个人能够养成的最坏的情绪习惯。当这些习惯变得根深蒂固时，不自怜的话就会觉得不正确。有心理学研究发现，这种人只有在自己处于悲惨境地时才会感觉良好。17、有许多产生不安全感的原因，并不是因为我们身上的智慧和能力真的不足，而是因为我们运用了错误的衡量尺度，总是拿自身实际的标准和理想的，完美的纯粹的“理想自我”相比较。18、如果一个人真正值得大家去称赞，就根本没有必要去自大，否则就是浅薄了。吹牛，自负，自夸自大，倨傲等等，这些实际上是对未能成功或者彻底失败心态的一种掩饰。相反，谦恭表现了一个人对成功的信心。19、应当有几本最深知的书，就好像自己应该有几个最知心的朋友一样。应当养成广泛阅读兴趣，只有这样才能扩大自己的视野，深化自己的人生观，同时培养开放的态度。20、清醒的时候让自己读些需要集中精力才能读懂的书，而疲倦的时候读些不必费多少心思的轻松读物。22 practical psychological adjustment strategyJuventus famous American psychologist Weber and John Morgan , with the assistance of the American Psychological Association, 159 psychologists , using the theory of human behavior and psychology research on numerous political elite , business elite used in everyday life psychological adjustment operation conducted in-depth research, and on the psychological adjustment strategies they used to conduct a detailed analysis of explanation.1 , interesting life, that it is full of a lot of uncertainty and open process. Among them, the pain of failure , there is the joy of success , there is adventure stimulation, deep thinking . Imagine life when we lack these , that it is worth pursuing and fighting it?2, the trust between people is mutual, first reaching out to each other is necessarily more powerful party , the nature of trust that trust was reflected , as trust is not to yield.3 , exchanges and cooperation with others to learn empathy . First , there must be a broad-minded , when misunderstood others , do not argue for themselves and disgruntled , but to real action to prove himself ; Secondly , there must be overall awareness , and more from the other point of view, the initiative sincerely accept criticism ; once again have the courage of self-criticism ; simultaneously , but also good communication open and published , to promote mutual understanding .4 , wants to win the love of others , is the need for you to go like others , wants to love someone , you have to see each others advantages.5 , to let people know you and they have the same interests, is crucial to maintaining good relations . If you love to rant in conversation , it will be caused by hate ; If you are talking about other topics of interest , to narrow the distance between each other much easier .6 , who are often surrounded by people with ulterior motives of some people , as compared with those humble people , between people pay more attention to the true feelings and care.7 , work for yourself , then you are alone ; work for other people , then there will be tens of hundreds of people to give you help - cooperation on the basis of that win.8 , when a person dedicated to work , he ll forget forget attach himself too wrong. And, too mean to become accustomed to own their own business interests resistance .9 , remember when dealing with people on these two points : first, the others are important ; Second , he is also very important - treat others with equality perspective calmly work in your favor .10 , to overcome a strong sense of self is the best way to others more carefully , more carefully each others interest , desire and action , and so on , in order to temporarily forget .11 , criticized as a dog , he was afraid to see you , they will increasingly catch up with you , intimidate you . But if you go back and stand up to him , he would stop yelling , contrary wagged his tail , allowing you to touch - how to deal with criticism and insults, reflect a persons quality and philosophy of life .12 Imagine ten most prestigious painters gathered around a round table to sit down together on a swing in the roundtable were apples sketch , what would happen ? Each individual must be drawn out of the apple is different, because everyone see Apples point of view is not the same - adamant that treat their own view of things is correct, take a closed attitude towards the views of others , only for a limited - So listen to yourself than to say important.13 , when a person afraid of being looked down on what you do when it is most want to brag , then you want to brag this exaggerated way , to cause others to pay attention to you , and when you say the hype time, lead is often ridiculed .14 , when you want to brag, bragging think about how they hate someone , then you would not do such a stupid thing .15 , will have to do far more important than has been done wrong, the value of the past , is that it helps you in the future .16 , habitual resentment can lead to self-pity , and self-pity is the worst a person can develop emotional habits. When these habits become ingrained , not self-pity , they would not feel right . Psychological research has found that people only when they are in misery will feel good.17 , there are many causes of insecurity generated , not because of who we really lack the wisdom and ability , but because we use the wrong measure , always get their actual standards and ideals , the perfect pure ideal self comparison .18 , if a person is really worth to praise , they