剑桥商务英语高级写作课件

Bechigherwriting becwriting p64 composition report module7 2 p72 letter module6 3 p64 proposal module10 2 p102 describingagraph Reportwriting Format title date introduction findings conclusion recommendations Wordlimit 200 250 longerthanthereportwewrotelastterm Lengthofthereportwhatitshouldcontainwhoisitwrittenforhowisitorganizedstyleandtone Organizationofreports ReportOrganization Introduction Purpose Findings Conclusion RecommendationsIntroduction Purpose Alwaysbeginbytellingreaderswhyyouarewritingandbyalertingthemtowhatyouwilldiscussandwhyitissignificant Giveyourreadersasummaryofkeyeventsanddetailsatthebeginningtohelpthemfollowtheremainderofthereportquickly Whenyouestablishthescope orlimits ofyourreport youhelpreaderszeroinonspecifictimes places procedures orproblems ReportOrganization FindingsThisshouldbethelongestpartofyourreportandcontainthedatayouhavecollected factsaboutprices personnel equipment events locations incidents ortests Gatherthedatafromyourresearch personalobservations interviews and orconversationswithco workers employers orclients Again remembertochooseonlythosedetailsthatareofmostimportancetoyourreader ReportOrganization ConclusionYourconclusiontellsreaderswhatyourdatameans Aconclusioncansummarizewhathashappened reviewwhatactionsweretaken orexplaintheoutcomeorresultsofatest avisit oraprogram ReportOrganization RecommendationsArecommendationinformsreaderswhatspecificactionsyouthinkyourcompanyorclientshouldtake marketanewproduct hiremorestaff institutesafetymeasures selectamongalternativeplansorprocedures andsoon Recommendationsmustbebasedonthedatayoucollectedandtheconclusionsyouhavereached Theyneedtoshowhowallthepiecesfittogether exercisep72 goodpoints clearlyorganized addressallthepointsrequestedbadpoints noclearrecommendation tooinformalstyle nolinkingphrases ReportSample FenwaySoftware Introduction Thisreportaimstoanalyzethenumberofvisitorstothecompanywebsiteinthelastthreemonthsandproposeamarketingstrategyforthenextthreemonths Findings Overthelastthreemonths thenumberofvisitorshasincreasedby650from2300to2950 Thereasonforthisistwofold Firstly webegantocirculatenewslettersforsubscribersinMarch secondly weorganized inMay acontestonourservices whichturnedouttobequitepopularamongsubscribers Date 16April2010Reporton CompanyWebsiteTrafficandMarketingStrategy ReportSample FenwaySoftware Conclusion Itwasconcludedthattheincreaseinvisitorsismoreattributabletonewslettercirculationandcontestorganizationthantobanneradvertising Recommendations Newslettersandcontestswerefelttobefairlyeffectiveinincreasingvisitors Irecommendthatwestepupoureffortsinnewsletterspreadandcontestorganizationandcutthebudgetonbanneradvertisingorswitchtosearchenginemarketingforatrialinthethreemonthsthatfollow Withregardtocosts bannersonothersiteshavenotgeneratedthedesiredresultbecauseveryfewpeopleclickedthosebannersandgotlinkedtoourwebsite thoughwespent 3 200onthatinMay Ontheotherhand themonthlynewslettersIemailedtosubscribersseemedtohaveworkedverywelland moreimportantly theydidnotcostanythingsavemytime ComplaintLetter Whenwritingacomplaintletter avoidthefollowing namecalling sarcasm insults threats emotion chargedwords intimidatingtypefonts e g allcapitalletters ComplaintLetter 1 Beginwithadetaileddescriptionoftheproductorservice Givetheappropriatemodelandserialnumbers size quantity color andcost Specifycheckandinvoicenumbers Indicatewhen where specificaddress andhow throughavendor theInternet atastore youpurchaseditandalsotheremainingwarranty Ifyouarecomplainingaboutaservice givethenameofthecompany thedateoftheservice thepersonnelprovidingit andtheirexactduties ComplaintLetter 2 Stateexactlywhatiswrongwiththeproductorservice Preciseinformationwillenablethereadertounderstandandactonyourcomplaint Howmanytimesdidtheproductworkbeforeitstopped Whatpartsweremalfunctioning Whatpartsofajobwerenotdoneorweredonepoorly Whendidallthishappen Howmanytimes Whereandhowwereyouinconvenienced ComplaintLetter 3 Brieflydescribetheinconvenienceyouhaveexperienced Showthatyourproblemsweredirectlycausedbythedefectiveproductorservice Tobuildyourcase giveprecisedetailsaboutthetimeandmoneyyoulost Don tjustsayyouhad numerousdifficulties Didyouhavetopayamechanictofixyourcarwhenitwasstalledontheroad DidyouhavetobuyanewprinterorDVDplayer Whereappropriate refertoanyprevioustelephonecalls e mails orletters Givethenamesofthepeopleyouhavewrittentoorspokenwithandthedates ComplaintLetter 4 Indicatepreciselywhatyouwantdone Donotsimplywritethatyou wantsomethingdone Statepreciselythatyouwantoneormoreofthefollowing yourpurchasepricerefunded yourmodelrepairedorreplaced acompletelynewrepaircrewprovided anapologyfromthecompanyfordiscourteoustreatment ComplaintLetter 5 Askforprompthandlingofyourclaim Inyourconcludingparagraph askthereadertoansweranyquestionyoumayhave suchasfindingoutwherecallscamefromthatyouwerebilledforbutdidnotmake Youmightevenspecifyareasonabletimebywhichyouwanttohearfromthereaderorneedtheproblemfixed SampleComplaintLetter SampleComplaintLetter TypicalTopicsforInternalProposals purchasingnewormoreadvancedequipmenttoreplaceobsoleteorinefficientcomputers transducers robots andthelike orupgradingequipmentobtainingdocumentsecuritysoftwareandofferingtrainingsessionstoshowemployeeshowtouseitrecruitingnewemployeesorretrainingcurrentonesonanewtechniqueorprocesseliminatingadangerousconditionorreducinganenvironmentalrisktopreventaccidents foremployees customers orthecommunityatlargeimprovingtechnology communicationwithinorbetweendepartmentsofacompanyoragencyexpandingworkspaceormakingitgreener moreprivate ergonomicallybeneficialtoemployees ormoreinvitingtocustomers ProposalOrganization Purpose Introduction Problem Solution ConclusionThePurposeBeginyourproposalwithabriefstatementofwhyyouarewritingtoyoursupervisor Staterightawaywhyyouthinkaspecificchangeisnecessarynow Thensuccinctlydefinetheproblemandemphasizethatyourplan ifapprovedbythereader willsolvethatproblem ProposalOrganization TheProblemProvethataproblemexists Documentitsimportanceforyourbossandyourcompany asamatteroffact themoreyoushow withconcreteevidence howtheproblemaffectstheboss swork andareaofsupervision themorelikelyyouaretopersuadehimorhertoact Herearesomeguidelinesfordocumentingaproblem ProposalOrganization Avoidvague andunsupported generalizationssuchas We relosingmoneyeachdaywiththisprocedure pieceofequipment Numerouscomplaintshavecomein Ifsomethingisn tdonesoon moreproblemswillresult Providequantifiabledetailsabouttheproblem suchastheamountofmoneyortimeacompanyisactuallylosingperday week ormonth Indicatehowmanyemployees orworkhours areinvolvedorhowmanycustomersareinconveniencedorendangeredbyaprocedureorcondition Verifyhowwidespreadaproblemisorhowfrequentlyitoccursbycitingspecificoccasions Relatetheproblemtoanorganization simage corporatereputation orinfluence whereappropriate Pinpointexactlyhowandwheretheproblemlessensyourcompany seffectivenessorhurtsitsstandinginthemarket Indicatewhoisaffectedandhowtheproblemaffectsyourcompany sbusinesscommunity ProposalOrganization TheSolutionorPlanInthissectiondescribehowyouaretomakethechangeyouproposeandwantapprovedanddemonstratethelikelihoodofitssuccess Yourreaderwillagainexpecttofindfactualevidence Bespecific Supplydetailsthatanswerthefollowingquestions 1 Istheplanworkable canitbeaccomplishedhereinourofficeorplant 2 Isitcost effective willitreallysaveusmoneyinthelongrunandnotleadtoevengreaterexpenses ProposalOrganization Forexample ifyouproposethatyourfirmbuyanewpieceofequipment Supplythedealer sname thecosts majorconditionsofserviceandtrainingcontracts andwarranties Describehowyourfirmcouldusetheequipmenttoobtainbetterorquickerresultsinthefuture Documentspecifictasksthenewequipmentcanperformmoreefficientlyatalowercostthantheequipmentnowinuse ProposalOrganization Aproposaltochangeaproceduremustaddressthefollowingquestions Howdoesthenew orrevised procedurework Howmanyemployeesorcustomerswillbeaffectedbyit Whenwillitgointooperation Howmuchwillitcosttheemployertochangeprocedures Whatdelaysorlossesinbusinessmightbeexpectedwhilethecompanyswitchesfromoneproceduretoanother Whatemployees equipment orlocationsarealreadyavailabletoaccomplishthechange ProposalOrganization TheConclusionYourconclusionshouldbeshort aparagraphortwoatthemost Remindreadersthat a theproblemisongoingandserious b thereasonforchangeisjustifiedandwillbebeneficialtoyourorganization and c actionneedstobetaken Reemphasizethemostimportantbenefits SampleProposal SampleProposal IntroductionTheaimofthisproposalistoexaminehowtosavetheimageofourcompanywhenitisinvolvedinbadpublicityandtoproposewhatactionshallbetakentofixthisproblem StatementoftheProblemUnfortunately awhistle blowerrecentlywrotealettertothelocalnewspaper accusingourcompanyoflaunchinganewcosmeticproductthatcontainedillegalchemicalingredientshazardoustothehealthofthecustomers Theletterreportedingreatdetailhowcustomersmightbenegativelyaffectedwhenapplyingthisproduct SampleProposal Inthissituation wehavetofacetheproblemofpossiblylosingthetrustofourcustomersandconsequentlysufferingasharpdecreaseinsalesandprofits ProposedSolutionsItisrecommendedthatweaddressthebadpublicityissuebysendingthenewproductsampletotheProductSafetyQualitySupervisionandInspectionCenterforprofessionaltestingandqualityassurance Inthemeantime weneedtoinvitesomeinfluentiallocalmedia includingthenewspaperthatreceivedtheletter tofollowuptheeventandtestifythatourproductiscompletelyfreeofanyunhealthychemicals ThisPRcampaignwillsurelycostourcompanyabigfortuneanddisruptournormalworkroutines However consideringtheurgencyofthematterandthepotentialthreatitmayposetotheimageofourcompany weshallwastenotimeinorganizinganad hocgroupconsistingofmembersfromPR marketing sales etc tohandlethisproblem SampleProposal ConclusionTosumup itisimportantthatweimplementthePRcampaignimmediatelytokeepundercontroltheriskofhavingourcorporateimagedamagedbytheeventandmitigateasmuchaspossiblethebadinfluenceitmaybringtoourcustomers exercisep102 claudia good welllaidoutandorganized clearidentificiationofmainproblems toneisappropriate gooduseoflanguageandexpressionsbad onlyoneconcreteproposal headphones otherwiseaddnothingusefultothediscussion ieitdoesn treallyanswerthemanager srequest David good examplesgivenaremoreconcreteandtherecommendationsaremorethoughtful original useful Thetoneislessformalbutacceptablebad notlaidoutquitesoclearly useofnumberingandbulletpointswouldhelpthereadergreatly Alsoitisnotclearifhehasconsultedotherstaff using I intheopeningsentenceisstaylisticallywrong twosubjective claudia good welllaidoutandorganized clearidentificiationofmainproblems toneisappropriate gooduseoflanguageandexpressionsbad onlyoneconcreteproposal headphones otherwiseaddnothingusefultothediscussion ieitdoesn treallyanswerthemanager srequest David good examplesgivenaremoreconcreteandtherecommendationsaremorethoughtful original useful Thetoneislessformalbutacceptablebad notlaidoutquitesoclearly useofnumberingandbulletpointswouldhelpthereadergreatly Alsoitisnotclearifhehasconsultedotherstaff using I intheopeningsentenceisstaylisticallywrong twosubjective Describingperformance TimephrasesVerbsNounsPrepositionsQualifiersCauseandresult Adj typical upward sharp current strong recentAdverbs fairly predictably finallyVerbs go takeoff soar fall double peak collapseNouns trend gains level losses recovery valuePrepositionswithtimephrases overthelasttwelvemonths inthefirstsixmonths byDecemberlastyear inJanuary byMay inthelastfourweeksPrepositionswithfigures from toalmost over atnearly justover bynearly downalmost DescribingGraphs 1 2 DescribingGraphs 1 topeak reach 2 toleveloffahigh peak of DescribingGraphs 3 4 DescribingGraphs 3 torise climb pickup ageneralupwardtrend 4 tofall drop collapse plummet bottomout DescribingGraphs 5 6 DescribingGraphs 5 toshootup takeoff soar rocket 6 torecover improvearecovery improvement DescribingGraphs 7 DescribingGraphs 7 tofluctuate DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs DescribingTrendsorMovementsinGraphs Ex2describingperformance Introduction whatisitabout Timephrases generaltrend Details followthetimeline whathappened noticeableperiod reason analysis Tense simplepast exceptthatitisaforecastgraph chart Listening AveragegrowthinsalesoverthelasttwoyearsandtherelativelystablestateofmarketThelaunchofthenewslow releaseversionofthedrugBayerhavingdistributionproblemsJustaseasonalfactorThelaunchcampaignofthenewversionofthedrug Presentingfigures Presentationstructure GreetingIntroduction overviewMainbodyofpresentation referringtoanychart graphsetc ConcludingcommentsInvitequestionsThankaudience Hello everyone Thankyouforcoming I dliketopresenttoyoutodaytheresultsforsalesofforeignlanguagephrasebooksoverthepastyear I vepreparedagraphwhichshowsthedevelopment Asyoucanseesalesroserapidlyoverthefirstsixmonthsleadinguptothesummerholidayperiodreachingapeakofnearly 30millioninJuly BySeptembertheyhadfallenbacktoaround 12million buttheypickedupagaininNovember Whatwasthereasonforthisriselateintheyear ItwasinfactbecauseweareduetolaunchourneweditionsinJanuaryandwewantedtoclearouttheoldstock Asaresult weputonsale upto50 discount atallthemajorbookshops Ihopethathasgivenyouaclearpictureofsalesovertheyear Now ifthereareanyquestions Iwouldbehappytoanswerthem Hello everyone Thankyouforcoming I dliketopresenttoyoutodaytheresultsforsalesofholidaystoSwitzerlandoverthepastyear I vepreparedagraphwhichshowsthedevelopment Asyoucanseesalesdroppedsharplyfrom 32mto 19mfromJanuarytoMayandpickedupslightlyto 24minJuly ThereasonbehindthisgrowthisthatMayandJuneisgenerallythebesttimetotravelinSwitzerland However theystartedtofallagainandbyNov thesalesreachedtheirlowestlevelof 7m Whatwasthereasonforthisgeneraldownwardtrendthisyear ItwasinfactduetotheeconomiccrisisinEuropewhichmadepeoplebecomemorecautiousaboutspendingmoneyonholidays Ihopethathasgivenyouaclearpictureofsalesovertheyear Now ifthereareanyquestions Iwouldbehappytoanswerthem Describinggraphs Examfocus writingtestpartoneP66Candidateswritea120 140wordreportdescribingtrends Thetasktestsconcisewritingskills Candidatesareexpectedtodescribe compareandcontrastinformationpresentedvisually intheformofgraphs barchartsandpiecharts Candidatesshoulduseappropriatelanguageoftrendsandmustbeconciseinordertoavoidexceedingthestrictwordlimit Howtodescribegraphs ContentLanguage Content whattowrite 柱形图 对比和比较曲线图 曲线的上升和下降趋势 对明显的高峰和低谷进行细节描写饼形图 依次描写 突出重点 如果有几个饼图 要作相应的对比表格 信息比较直观 通过仔细阅读之后发现其特点 找出鲜明的信息对比描写 Language conciseness SentencelengthWordinessReferencewords 指示词 RedundancyRepetitionEllipsis 省略 structure 1 ThefirstparagraphisanIntroduction sayingwhatthegraphrepresentsandwhatperioditrelatesto Thisgraphshows 2 ThesecondparagraphdescribesthedevelopmentandtrendsIfwelookfirstat wecansee followsasimilartrend Thedevelopmentsarenotdescribedinyear by yearormonth by monthdetail butinmoregeneralterms3 Thethirdofferssomegeneralconclusionsthatcanbedrawnfromtheinformationpresented The dramatic consequenceofthesetwodevelopments Example Thebarchartblewshowsthecostofbuyingthreedifferentphotocopiers thecostofawarrantyoneachmachine andtheirexpectedrunningcostsforthefirsttwoyears Usingtheinformationfromthechart writeashortreportcomparingthecostsforthethreemachines Thebarchartpresentsthecostsofbuyingandrunningofthethreedifferentphotocopiers Cart KDandSebu Amongthem thepurchasepriceofCartaisthelowest Itisslightlyover 600butitsexpectedrunningcostisthehighestwithitswarrantycostatthemid level Incomparison thepurchasepriceofKDis 700 alittlemorethanthatofCarta whereasitsexpectedrunningcostismuchlessthanthatofCarta whichis 1200 However KD swarrantycostisashighas 200 Incontrast Sebu spurchasepriceisthehighest i e 100 butitcostsconsumerstheleastinwarrantyandrunning Whatismore theexpectedtotalcostofCartafortheinitial2yearepriodis 1900 morethanthatofSebuandKD 1800 Inconclusion itwouldbeadvisabletobuyKDphotocopier 依次比较各个产品的购买价 保修费用和运营费用 重点描述最低值和最高值最后总结最初两年的成本 说明哪一种最合适 DescribingGraphs Thegraphshowsthesharepriceoftwocompaniesfrom1996to2000 Inthestartof1996 sharesinConsortIndustriesstoodat 160 However bytheendoftheyear theyhavecollapsedtojust 50 Theyrecoveredsteadyoverthenext12months buthavefluctuatedsharplyallthrough1998 In1999 theycontinuedtheirrecover climbto 160pershare wheretheyremainedthroughout2000 SharesinMandarinTechnologiesstartingtradingat 150 LikeConsort Mandarinsawit ssharesfallduring1996 andthenpickedupthefollowingyear Thisrecoverythenturnsintoageneralupwardtrend whatcontinueduntillate1999 whensharespeakedat 220 Theythencollapsedbeforerisebrieflytojustover 150attheendof2000 Describingthesharepriceoftwocompanies Atthestartof1996inConsortIndustriesstoodat 160 However bytheendoftheyear theyhadcollapsedtojust 50 Theyrecoveredsteadilyoverthenexttwelvemonthsbutfluctuatedsharplyallthrough1998 In1999theycontinuedtheirrecovery climbingto 160pershare wheretheyremainedthroughout2000 SharesinMandarinTechnologiesstartedtradingat 150 LikeConsort Mandarinsawitssharesfallduring1996andthenpickupthefollowingyears Thisrecoverythenturnedintoageneralupwardtrend whichcontinueduntillate1999 whensharespeakedat 220 Theythencollapsedbeforerisingbrieflytojustover 150attheendof2000 TipsforGraphAnalysisReport Noreportformatisrequired Asimplifiedthree paragraphreportconsistingofintroductoryparagraph analysisparagraphandsumming upparagraph Usepresentte