英语应用文写作讲评-缺乏读者意识问题

Writing 书面表达 假如你叫李越 是一名高三学生 今年高中毕业后想去英国BrightonUniversity BU 进行短期学习 以下是英方学校寄给你的课程安排选择表 请你仔细阅读课表 按要求给校方回复一封信 书信内容 说明你要选择的课程并陈述理由 介绍你目前的英语水平 希望通过学习想提高的英语技能 你的其他期望 DearSirorMadam ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses IthinkBUisverybeautifulsoIwanttogo FistIwantsix weekcourse becausemyEnglishisverybadsoIwantstudyBUlongago I mverywantlearnEnglishsogood butI mverylazy SomyEnglishisverybad Mymotheroftenaskme WhyyouEnglishisverybad I mjusttellher I mverylazy somyEnglishisverybad SoI mverywantlearnEnglishverywell Canyouhelpme 1 审题不清2 要点不全3 错误率高4 逻辑性差5 缺乏读者意识 DearSirorMadam ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses IwanttogoBrightonUniversitytostudyEnglish BecausemyEnglishisverypoor SoI mdesirethatinBrightonUniversitystudyIcanimprovemyEnglish OnJuly1 August15 Iwillhavesix weekcourse IwouldvisittoMuseumsandGalleries Itcanhelpmelearnlocalculture OnJuly1 August1 Ihavefourweekcourse theteacherwillteachmehowtosayrealEnglishandwriteEnglish Thenmakemeknowtheskill Anothertime Icangosightseeingwithfriends IhopeI mbemoveopenwithspeakEnglishandcouldsingEnglishsongs 审题不清要点不全缺乏读者意识逻辑性差语言表达错误率高 缺乏读者意识 错误率高逻辑性差 缺乏读者意识 缺乏读者意识错误率高 缺乏读者意识错误率高 DearSirorMadam ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses Asformychoicebetweenthetwocourses I dcertainlypreferthefour weekcoursefor80hoursofstudy Thiswouldallowmemoretimetoseeyourbeautifulcountrywhilelearningthelanguage Iwouldliketodosometravelingandmakeafewnewfriends OfallthesubjectsI mlearningatschool IlikeEnglishbest IhavebeenlearningEnglishfor9yearsandnowIamgoodatlisteningandwriting Bytakingthiscourse IhopetoimprovemyspokenEnglishasmuchaspossible Besides I dliketohavehomestayforacoupleofdayssothatIcanknowmoreaboutyourtraditionsandcustoms IbelieveIwillhaveawonderfultimeinBritainthissummer Yourstruly LiYue Fivecharacteristicsofoutstandingwriting 高分作文的五大特性 1 条理性 段落完整 层次分明2 准确性 语法准确 用词精当3 流畅性 层次清晰 行文连贯4 简洁 多样性 语言简洁 不重复5 思想性 文章立意高 表达个人观点内容积极向上 Enjoying IwilljoinintheFour weekcoursebecauseIaminterestedinsightseeing AndIthinkonlyinthiswaycanIlearncustomsaboutEnglish HavinglearnedEnglishforyears IhaveagoodcommandofwrittenEnglish butIcan tspeakEnglishverywellanduseEnglishgrammarwhenItalkwithothers IhopeIcanimprovemyEnglishskillsinthiscourse IwanttomakemorefriendswithEnglishpeopleandIwishtheBUteachersarefriendly IwillstudyhardwhenIarrivethere Sixprinciplesofmakingsentences 造句成文六大原则 高级词汇原则状语提前原则3 短语优先原则4 并列句 复合句和特殊句式原则5 长短句交替原则6 短文分段分层原则 Next outline 说明你要选择的课程并陈述理由 2 介绍你目前的英语水平 3 希望通过学习想提高的英语技能 4 你的其他期望 outline 说明你要选择的课程并陈述理由 I dprefer because outline Iamgoodat MyEnglishis Ican butIcan t 2 介绍你目前的英语水平