孔雀东南飞搞笑版剧本演示文稿

the southeast of the peacock flies,New Words and Phrases,tender adj. 温柔的,体贴的 henpecked adj. 惧内的hell n. 地狱brusque adj. 鲁莽的interrupt vt. 打断(讲话或讲话人)rob vt. 抢劫,劫掠,盗取 fetch vt. (去)拿来 a,preface,杨屾 饰 焦仲卿Johnny (J for short),(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J: Everybody says that I m henpecked ,but in fact ,Im as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song. (指着上台处的门大声道)Im not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, Im afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famouswoman in the neighborhood.,She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care .I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) My God ! Who can help me?(下),杨屾 饰 焦仲卿Johnny (J for short)官慧敏 饰 刘兰芝Lunch (L for short)朱颖颖 饰 焦母Johnnys mother (JM for short),Act 1,JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):Im here ！Whats up， mum? JM: Ive told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law ,whats up? JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy L: But,JM: Never interrupt me! L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have be en working hard all day long ,cooking and washing .I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and,JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh, you want a grandson ,dont you?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son. Im leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下),Act 2,官慧敏 饰 刘兰芝 Lunch (L for short)朱颖颖 饰 刘母 Lunchs mother (LM for short),(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L: Mum, Im back! LM: You are back? Why? What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest motherin-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself,L: But, mumLM: Never interrupt me! L: Mum, Im not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And Ill marry whom -ever you want me to. LM(大喜):Nice girl! Just now, I met the mayors son in the market. He said: “If your daughter Havent been married, I really really want to marry her!” Now you are free again, Ill go and tell him.(下)L(惊愕):What? The mayors son? The most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下),Act 3,杨屾 饰 焦仲卿Johnny (J for short)朱颖颖 饰 焦母Johnnys mother (JM for short),J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch ! Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er! How smelly! They are still dirty ! (突然想起)Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh, Im so hungry! But theres no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)This is what Lunch always wears! I miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! Now she has gone. I have to cook for my mother and myself.,JM(上):Wheres my breakfast?,Wheres Lunch? Hasnt she got up yet? J: Mum, cant you remember? Lunch has gone! JM(沉吟):Well, to tell you the truth Johnny, a son without a wife,is useless. Lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back! J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!,Act 4,杨屾 饰 焦仲卿Johnny (J for short)饰 强盗A饰 强盗B饰 强盗C,(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A: Hey you! Stop and Listen to us! The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B: And I planted one tree!(抬脚踩在同一块石头上),C: If you want to go by this street-(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C: Give us all your money! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough?,(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A: What bad luck! This guy is broken! B: If we can not rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayors son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month. We can go and rob the wedding! A&B: Good idea! J(惊讶):What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Its impossible!,AB&C: Why? A pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple! J: But Lunch is my wife! We havent got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)Ive got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, dont you? Ill go with you. You take the money and I take the bride. B: Have you got any experience? J: No. But Ive got this! (J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书1，000，000),Act 5,杨屾 饰 焦仲卿Johnny (J for short)饰 强盗A饰 强盗B饰 强盗C朱颖颖 饰 焦母Johnnys mother (JM for short)官慧敏 饰 刘兰芝Lunch (L for short)王森灶 饰 太守之子Mayors son (MS for short),(MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，L盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J: Hey you! Stop and listen to us! A: The road is built by me! B: And I planted one tree. C: If you want to go by this street- J: Give us all your money! (L听到J的声音掀起了盖头) L(惊喜):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边),(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来J矮身一躲，MS打中了