大学英语写作 3-What a Good Sentence Isppt课件

Part3WhatIsanEffectiveSentence Thisiswherewelearntoseewhatagoodsentenceshouldbelike Whatisagoodsentence Agoodsentenceshouldhavethefollowingqualities 1 unity 2 coherence 3 conciseness 4 emphasis 5 variety Unity 一致性 Aunifiedsentenceexpressesasinglecompletethought Itdoesnotcontainideasthatarenotcloselyrelated nordoesitexpressathoughtthatisnotcompleteitself e g DuFuwasoneoftheGreatestpoets Improved DuFuwasoneoftheGreatestpoetsoftheTangDynastyinChina Unity 一致性 e g BorninasmalltowninSouthChinaintheearly50s hegrewuptobeafamousmusician Improved HewasborninasmalltowninSouthChinaintheearly50s Inhischildhoodhelikedtosingsongs Laterheenteredaconservatory 音乐学校 Inthe70s hebecameafamousmusician Improved Althoughhewasborninasmalltown hegrewuptobeafamousmusician Coherence 连贯性 Coherencemeansclearandreasonableconnectionsbetweenparts Itisnotcoherentifithasfaultyparallelconstructions danglingormisplacedmodifiers pronounswithambiguousreference confusingshiftinpersonandnumber orvoice tense andmood e g DuFuwasoneoftheGreatestpoets Improved DuFuwasoneoftheGreatestpoetsoftheTangDynastyinChina Coherence 连贯性 faultyparallelconstructions e g Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobyhisdeeds Revised 1 Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobywhathedoes 2 Amanisjudgednotonlybyhiswordsbutalsobyhisdeeds Coherence 连贯性 faultyparallelconstructions e g Wethoughtshewascharming intelligentandaverycapableyoungwomen Revised 1 Wethoughtshewascharming intelligentandverycapable 2 Wethoughtshewasacharming intelligentandverycapableyoungwoman Coherence 连贯性 faultyparallelconstructions e g Wehavegreatfaithandhighhopesforher Revised Wehavegreatfaithinandhighhopesforher Coherence 连贯性 pronounwithambiguousreference e g Shetoldmysisterthatshewaswrong Revised 1 I mwrong shesaidtomysister 2 Sheadmittedthatshewaswrongandsaidtomysister 3 Youwerewrong shesaidtomysister 4 Mysisterwastoldthatshewaswrong Coherence 连贯性 pronounwithambiguousreference e g Hewasknockeddownbyabike butitwasnotserious Revised 1 Hewasknockeddownbyabike butwasnotseriouslyhurt Coherence 连贯性 danglingmodifiers e g Onenteringtheclassroom thestudentsstoodupandsaid GoodMorning Revised 1 Whentheteacherenteredtheclassroom thestudentsstoodupandsaid GoodMorning 2 Onenteringtheclassroom theteacherwasgreetedbythestudents whostoodupandsaid GoodMorning Coherence 连贯性 danglingmodifiers e g Lookingoutofthewindow thegrasslandgoesasfarastheeyescanreach Revised 1 Lookingoutofthewindow he she Icanseethegrasslandgoingasfarastheeyescanreach 2 Outsidethewindow thegrasslandgoesasfarastheeyescanreach Coherence 连贯性 misplacedmodifiers e g Ireadaninterestingstoryinamagazineaboutsportsman Revised 1 Ireadaninterestingstoryaboutsportsmaninamagazine 2 InamagazineIreadaninterestingstoryaboutsportsman Coherence 连贯性 misplacedmodifiers e g Theideahementionedatfirstsoundedgood Revised 1 Theideahefirstmentionedsoundedgood 2 Theideahementionedsoundedgoodatfirst Coherence 连贯性 misplacedmodifiers e g Sheboughtseveralbooksandputthemintoherbag whichsheintendedtogivetoherchildren Revised 1 Sheboughtseveralbooksforherchildrenandputthemintoherbag 2 Sheputintoherbagthebooksshehadboughtforherchildren Coherence 连贯性 misplacedmodifiers e g Hegaveareasonfornotattendingthemeeting whichnobodybelieved Revised 1 Hegaveareason whichnobodybelieved fornotattendingthemeeting 2 Hegaveareasonfornotattendingthemeeting areasonwhichnobodybelieved Coherence 连贯性 confusingchangeinperson e g Animportantthingforthestudenttorememberisthatwhenwritingapaper youshouldnotcopy Revised Animportantthingforthestudenttorememberisthatwhenwritingapaper he sheshouldnotcopy Coherence 连贯性 confusingchangeinnumber e g Thosewhowishtotakemathsareexpectedtosignhisnameonthissheetofpaper Revised Thosewhowishtotakemathsareexpectedtosigntheirnamesonthissheetofpaper Coherence 连贯性 confusingchangingmood e g Studentsshouldlearntoanalyzeandsolveproblemsindependently Don trelyonyourteachers help Revised Studentsshouldlearntoanalyzeandsolveproblemsindependently Theyshouldnotrelyontheirteachers help Coherence 连贯性 confusingchangeinvoice e g Shereviewedthelessontaughtlastweekandalltheexercisesassignedbytheteacherweredone Revised Shereviewedthelessontaughtlastweekand she didalltheexercisesassignedbytheteacher Conciseness 简明 Asentenceshouldcontainnounnecessarywords Iftheideaisfully clearlyexpressed thefewerwordsareused thebetter e g Itwasblueincolor Maryisaquietandcarefulwoman Revised Itwasblue Maryisquietandcareful Conciseness 简明 deleteunnecessaryrepetition e g Hegavemanyreasonsforthefailure butthereasonshegavewerenotconvincing Inmyopinion Ithinkyourplanisdoable Revised Hegavemanyreasonsforthefailure butnoneofthemwasconvincing Inmyopinion yourplanisdoable Conciseness 简明 changesentencestructure e g Therewasapinetreethatstoodlikeagiantonthetopofthemountain Ittoweredoverthetreesaroundit Revised 1 Thepinetreeonthetopofthemountainstoodlikeagiantandtoweredoverthetreesaroundit 2 Thepinetreeonthetopofthemountaintoweredoverthetreesaroundit 3 Onthetopofthemountainwasagiantpinetreewhichtoweredoverthetreesaroundit Emphasis 重点突出 Whenthereisanimportantidea itshouldbeexpressedwithemphasis Waysofemphasisinclude 1 usingemphaticsentences2 usingemphasiswithinsentence Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences Emphaticsentencesinclude 1 shortsentences 2 sentencefragments 3 invertedsentences 倒装句 4 balancedsentences 5 periodicsentences Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences Emphaticsentencesinclude 6 imperativeorexclamatorysentences 7 rhetoricalquestions 8 negative positivestatements 9 sentenceswithrepeatedwordsorphrases Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences e g Theskywasovercast Anorthwindwasblowing Itthreatenedtorainatanymoment Agloomyday usingshortsentencesandsentencefragment Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences e g 1 Inrushedthenoisychildren 2 Thepoetwasbornpoor andpoorheremainedallhislife usinginvertedsentence 倒装 Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences e g 1 Youcallthatagoodplay Whatisgoodaboutit 2 Ididn tgetaticketfortheopera HowcouldI 3 Didn tItellyouthatyoumustnottouchthismachine usingrhetoricalquestions 修辞问句 Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences e g 1 Thedelegatesshoutedandquarreled Itwasnotameeting itwasafarce 闹剧 2 Therewassomanyerrorsintheperformancethattheresultwasnotatragedy butacomedy usingnegative positivestatements 修辞问句 Emphasis 重点突出 usingemphaticsentences e g 1 Governmentofthepeople bythepeople forthepeopleshallnotperishfromtheearth 2 Therewassomanyerrorsintheperformancethattheresultwasnotatragedy butacomedy usingrepeatedwordsorphrases 修辞问句 Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 Emphasiswithinsentencesinclude 1 Placing 2 repetition 3 verbandactivevoice 4 complexsentence 5 aseriesofshortsentences 6 emphaticwordsandphrases7 alliteration 头韵 Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 Thereisabigtree whichissaidtobe300yearsold inthetemple2 Inthetemplethereisabigtree whichissaidtobe300yearsold Placing Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 WangBingismodestandhardworkingandisagoodstudent 2 Modestandhardworking WangBingisagoodstudent 3 WangBingisagoodstudent modestandhardworking Placing Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 Atthesightofthedisorderlycrowd hewasawarethatsomethingbadwouldbepossible 2 Themomenthesawthedisorderlycrowd heknewthatsomethingbadwouldhappen Theverbandactivevoice Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 Weplantedmanytreesyesterday 2 Manytreeswereplantedyesterday Theverbandactivevoice Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g Theprofessorwalkedintotheclassroomandhecarriedabagofbookswithhim 1 Theprofessorwalkedintotheclassroom carryingabagofbookswithhim 2 Theprofessorwalkedintotheclassroomwithabagofbookswithhim Subordination Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 Lee anewstudentfromasouthernprovince speaksadialectwhichisdifficultforustounderstand 2 Leeisanewstudent Hecomesfromasouthernprovince Hespeaksadialect Wefindithardtounderstandhisdialect Aseriesofshortsentences Emphasis 重点突出 emphasiswithinsentence 句内强调 e g 1 ThisistheverydictionaryIhavebeenlookingfor 2 Thedirectorhimselftoldmethisnews 3 Dote