虚拟语气在写作中的提分技巧作文练习评讲

欣赏下列两个语段，并指出它们的技巧1.Briefasthepassageis,itstillarousesmyendlessimaginationtothepasttime.WereIinthepast,IwouldlikethatIstayedinBritaininthe19thcentury,whereandwhentheRevolutionofIndustrywasflourishing.Withtheinspiringatmosphereofthecreativetimes,Iwouldtrymyutmosttodomyfavoritescientificexperiment,sinceIhavegreatinterestinscience.Whatsmore,thescientificloverswouldbeinvitedtojoinmylittleclubtoinventsomebrand-newinventionsandcreatenewdesignsofourdailylifesproducts,cooperatingtoputthetheorywelearnedfrombookstoourpracticallife.InthiswayIcouldgetinspirationofwisdomandresourcefulnesstobringconvenienceandimprovementstoourlife.,2.ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.Firstly,Iwouldteachmymoderntheoryandknowledgetothegovernors,instructingthemtofightagainsttheenemiesandconstructpowerfularmies.Secondly,allthecitizenswouldbecalledontounitetogetherandresistothercountriesinvasionbravely.Whatsmore,joiningsomeanti-invaderspartieswouldalsobemychoice.,亮点句型写作指导,除了虚拟语气外，有许多亮点句型可以应用到写作中，增分添彩。,比喻,AistoBwhatCistoD.Likethesunshine,kindnesscanhelpthoseintrouble.Kindnessislikethelighthouse,whichcandirectthewayforthosewhoareindimsituation.,排比,IfIcouldgobacktothepastanddotheabovementionedthings,thelastthingmygrandparememberedwouldnotbetheindifferenceandthebackofhisbelovedgrandson.IfIcouldtravelbackthroughtime,thelastmemorybetweenhimandmewouldnotbehisclosedeyesandthedeadlookofhalf-unconscioussuffering.Thennow,Iwouldnothavetolivewiththisunbearableregretandpainfortherestofmylife.IfonlyIcould!,倒装（赢在写作P37-38）,Simpleasthestoryis,Heregoesthesayingthat_.Onlywhen_canwe_.Onlyinthisway,canweOnlybydoing-,canwe_.Onlyafterdoingsth,canweOnthewestoftheschoolliesapond,wheremanyfishareswimming.Undernocircumstanceshouldwe-类似的用法：Never/Bynomeans/onnoaccount/innoway/atnotimeshouldI.Hardly/scarcelyhadIgotintotheroomwhenitbegantorain.(nosooner，than),Haditnotbeenforherstickingtobeingontime,shewouldnthaveearnedherselfawell-paidjobandmoreimportantlybuiltupanimageofreliabilityandintegrity.,倒装,ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.,亮点写作的注意事项,1.过多的亮点，显得堆砌对策：亮点分布，尽量首句2.亮点单一，例如全段排比或比喻对策：最好总排比-总的结构。照顾段落的完整性。3.华而不实，不重视内容，徒有框架没有内容对策：先想内容，再想修辞手法4.过多注重运用亮点，没有注意谋篇，顾此失彼对策：谋好篇，定好每点行数，才能下笔,亮点句型写作训练练习：1.说明挫折的意义2.你怎样看待老师对学生的影响。3.说说你对母爱的理解4.谈谈决心对人的影响,使用虚拟语气写作的注意事项：1.确定到底要不要“虚”？2.确定到底使用哪个时态的“虚”？3.所谓“一虚到底”，其实是指在该假设情境中的虚拟的时态的一致性。而非一定是通段都使用虚拟！一切要看情况进行选用。,说说挫折的意义,1.Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis,itisofsignificanceinourlife.Astheoldsayinggoes,“stormmakestreestakedeeperroots”,withoutfrustration,nevercouldwegrowupasastrong-willedperson.Werewesurroundedbyover-praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness,frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm,urgingusnottostopattheso-calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit.Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles,frustrationcouldbeaphilosophersstone（魔法石）,withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestrongerInaword,lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain.,说说挫折的意义,2.Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself-developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess.,老师对学生的影响,1.Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife,studentslifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness.Withoutteachers,thelaboriousengineersofoursoul,studentspersonalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped.Withoutteachers,theladderwithselflessdevotion,ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature.Withoutteachers,thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge,nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture.,老师对学生的影响,2.Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers,nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult.Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers,nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture.Withouttheknowledgeableteachers,neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry.,母爱的理解,1.Withoutmaternalaffection,wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare.Withoutthisever-lastingemotion,neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness.,母爱的理解,2.Maternalloveislikeacircle.Ithasnobeginningandnoending.Butformotherhood,wewouldbethelittlestrayedlambswhosteponthemistakentrack.Butformotherhood,nevercanwebeenvelopedinwarmthandmerrimentbyapatchofsunlight.Butformotherhood,wecouldbeoverwhelmedbyendlessdarknessandtheworldwouldfadefromcolorfulandwonderfultodimandcold.,决心的影响,1.Determinationisthefuelofships,withoutwhich,nevercouldwearriveattheshoreofsuccess.Determinationisthewalkingstickoftheclimbers,withoutwhich,nevercouldwereachthepeakoflife.Determinationistheverycondition,withoutwhich,nevercouldwegetridofthedarkdepthofdepression.,决心的影响,2.Withoutthefirmdetermination,nevercouldindividualsgrowintostrongtreesstrugglinginthewindandrain.Withoutthesteadfastmind,nevercouldteamsunitetogethertocreatemiracle.Withouttheunswervingresolution,nevercouldcountriesuniteandfightfortheflourishingandbrightfutureaswellasaharmoniousworld.,说说挫折的意义,1.Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis,（倒装）itisofsignificanceinourlife.Astheoldsayinggoes,“stormmakestreestakedeeperroots”,（名言）withoutfrustration,nevercouldwegrowupasastrong-willedperson.（虚拟）Werewesurroundedbyover-praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness,frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm,urgingusnottostopattheso-calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit.Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles,frustrationcouldbeaphilosophersstone（魔法石）,withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestronger.(虚拟+排比+非限制性定从)Inaword,lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain.(总结部分可以用现在时),说说挫折的意义,2.Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch.(倒装)Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself-developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess.（虚拟反说+比喻+排比）,老师对学生的影响,1.Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife,studentslifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness.Withoutteachers,thelaboriousengineersofoursoul,studentspersonalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped.Withoutteachers,theladderwithselflessdevotion,ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature.Withoutteachers,thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge,nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture.（虚拟反说+排比）,老师对学生的影响,2.Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers,nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult.Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers,nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture.Withouttheknowledgeableteachers,neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry.（虚拟反说+排比）,母爱的理解,1.Withoutmaternalaffection,wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare.Withoutthisever-lastingemotion,neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness.（虚拟反说+排比）,母爱的理解,2.Maternalloveislikeacircle.Ithasnobeginningandnoending.（比喻，多一句进行补充说明，使得比喻更具体形象）Butformotherhood,wewouldbethelittle