conversation课堂presentation题目.ppt

A,1,Whatmakesarealgoodconversation?,A,2,Wealluselanguagetocommunicate,toexpressourselves,togetourideasacross,andtoconnectwiththepersontowhomwearespeaking.Whenarelationshipisworking,theactofcommunicatingseemstoflowrelativelyeffortlessly.Whenarelationshipisdeteriorating,theactofcommunicatingcanbeasfrustratingasclimbingahillofsand.-ChipRose,attorneyandmediator,A,3,Conflictinarelationshipisvirtuallyinevitable.Initself,conflictisntaproblem;howitshandled,however,canbringpeopletogetherortearthemapart.Poorcommunicationskills,disagreementsandmisunderstandingscanbeasourceofangeranddistance,oraspringboardtoastrongerrelationshipandhappierfuture.Nexttimeyouredealingwithconflict,keepthesetipsoneffectivecommunicationskillsinmindandyoucancreateamorepositiveoutcome.,A,4,HeresHow:StayFocused:Sometimesitstemptingtobringuppastseeminglyrelatedconflictswhendealingwithcurrentones.Unfortunately,thisoftencloudstheissueandmakesfindingmutualunderstandingandasolutiontothecurrentissuelesslikely,andmakesthewholediscussionmoretaxingandevenconfusing.Trynottobringuppasthurtsorothertopics.Stayfocusedonthepresent,yourfeelings,understandingoneanotherandfindingasolution.,A,5,ListenCarefully:Peopleoftenthinktheyrelistening,butarereallythinkingaboutwhattheyregoingtosaynextwhentheotherpersonstopstalking.Trulyeffectivecommunicationgoesbothways.Whileitmightbedifficult,tryreallylisteningtowhatyourpartnerissaying.Dontinterrupt.Dontgetdefensive.Justhearthemandreflectbackwhattheyresayingsotheyknowyouveheard.Thenyoullunderstandthembetterandtheyllbemorewillingtolistentoyou.,A,6,TryToSeeTheirPointofView:Inaconflict,mostofusprimarilywanttofeelheardandunderstood.Wetalkalotaboutourpointofviewtogettheotherpersontoseethingsourway.Ironically,ifwealldothisallthetime,thereslittlefocusontheotherpersonspointofview,andnobodyfeelsunderstood.Trytoreallyseetheotherside,andthenyoucanbetterexplainyours.(Ifyoudontgetit,askmorequestionsuntilyoudo.)Otherswillmorelikelybewillingtolisteniftheyfeelheard.,A,7,RespondtoCriticismwithEmpathy:Whensomeonecomesatyouwithcriticism,itseasytofeelthattheyrewrong,andgetdefensive.Whilecriticismishardtohear,andoftenexaggeratedorcoloredbytheotherpersonsemotions,itsimportanttolistenfortheotherpersonspainandrespondwithempathyfortheirfeelings.Also,lookforwhatstrueinwhattheyresaying;thatcanbevaluableinformationforyou.,A,8,OwnWhatsYours:Realizethatpersonalresponsibilityisastrength,notaweakness.Effectivecommunicationinvolvesadmittingwhenyourewrong.Ifyoubothsharesomeresponsibilityinaconflict(whichisusuallythecase),lookforandadmittowhatsyours.Itdiffusesthesituation,setsagoodexample,andshowsmaturity.Italsoofteninspirestheotherpersontorespondinkind,leadingyoubothclosertomutualunderstandingandasolution.,A,9,Use“I”Messages:Ratherthansayingthingslike,“Youreallymesseduphere,”beginstatementswith“I”,andmakethemaboutyourselfandyourfeelings,like,“Ifeelfrustratedwhenthishappens.”Itslessaccusatory,sparkslessdefensiveness,andhelpstheotherpersonunderstandyourpointofviewratherthanfeelingattacked.,A,10,LookforCompromiseInsteadoftryingtowintheargument,lookforsolutionsthatmeeteverybodysneeds.Eitherthroughcompromise,oranewsolutionthatgivesyoubothwhatyouwantmost,thisfocusismuchmoreeffectivethanonepersongettingwhattheywantattheothersexpense.Healthycommunicationinvolvesfindingaresolutionthatbothsidescanbehappywith.,A,11,TakeaTime-Out:Sometimestempersgetheatedanditsjusttoodifficulttocontinueadiscussionwithoutitbecominganargumentorafight.Ifyoufeelyourselforyourpartnerstartingtogettooangrytobeconstructive,orshowingsomedestructivecommunicationpatterns,itsokaytotakeabreakfromthediscussionuntilyoubothcooloff.Sometimesgoodcommunicationmeansknowingwhentotakeabreak.,A,12,DontGiveUp:Whiletakingabreakfromthediscussionissometimesagoodidea,alwayscomebacktoit.Ifyoubothapproachthesituationwithaconstructiveattitude,mutualrespect,andawillingnesstoseetheotherspointofvieworatleastfindasolution,youcanmakeprogresstowardthegoalofaresolutiontotheconflict.Unlessitstimetogiveupontherelationship,dontgiveuponcommunication.,A,13,AskForHelpIfYouNeedIt:Ifoneorbothofyouhastroublestayingrespectfulduringconflict,orifyouvetriedresolvingconflictwithyourpartneronyourownandthesituationjustdoesntseemtobeimproving,youmightbenefitfromafewsessionswithatherapist.Couplescounselingorfamilytherapycanprovidehelpwithaltercationsandteachskillstoresolvefutureconflict.Ifyourpartnerdoesntwanttogo,youcanstilloftenbenefitfromgoingalone.,A,14,THETHREECOMPONENTSOFCOMMUNICATION,A,15,Inordertocommunicateeffectively,wemustuseallthreecomponentstodotwothings:,1.Sendclear,concisemessages.2.Hearandcorrectlyunderstandmessagessomeoneissendingtous.,A,16,SENDINGMESSAGES,A,17,EffectiveVerbalMessages:1.Arebrief,succinct,andorganized2.Arefreeofjargon3.Donotcreateresistanceinthelistener,A,18,ParaverbalMessages:1.Accountforabout38%ofwhatisperceivedandunderstoodbyothers.2.Includethetone,pitch,andpacingofourvoic,A,19,NonverbalMessages:1.Accountforabout55%ofwhatisperceivedandunderstoodbyothers.2.Areconveyedthroughourfacialexpressionsaswellasourposturesandgestures.,A,20,FacialExpression,A,21,PosturesandGestures,A,22,RECEIVINGMESSAGES,A,23,Listening1.Requiresconcentrationandenergy2.Involvesapsychologicalconnectionwiththespeaker3.Includesadesireandwillingnesstotryandseethingsfromanothersperspective4.Requiresthatwesuspendjudgmentandevaluation,A,24,Listeningindialogueislisteningmoretomeaningthantowords.Intruelistening,wereachbehindthewords,seethroughthem,tofindthepersonwhoisbeingrevealed.Listeningisasearchtofindthetreasureofthetruepersonasrevealedverballyandnonverbally.Thereisthesemanticproblem,ofcourse.Thewordsbearadifferentconnotationforyouthantheydoforme.Consequently,Icannevertellyouwhatyousaid,butonlywhatIheard.Iwillhavetorephrasewhatyouhavesaid,andcheckitoutwithyoutomakesurethatwhatleftyourmindandheartarr