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.,1,欣赏下列两个语段,并指出它们的技巧1.Briefasthepassageis,itstillarousesmyendlessimaginationtothepasttime.WereIinthepast,IwouldlikethatIstayedinBritaininthe19thcentury,whereandwhentheRevolutionofIndustrywasflourishing.Withtheinspiringatmosphereofthecreativetimes,Iwouldtrymyutmosttodomyfavoritescientificexperiment,sinceIhavegreatinterestinscience.Whatsmore,thescientificloverswouldbeinvitedtojoinmylittleclubtoinventsomebrand-newinventionsandcreatenewdesignsofourdailylifesproducts,cooperatingtoputthetheorywelearnedfrombookstoourpracticallife.InthiswayIcouldgetinspirationofwisdomandresourcefulnesstobringconvenienceandimprovementstoourlife.,.,2,2.ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.Firstly,Iwouldteachmymoderntheoryandknowledgetothegovernors,instructingthemtofightagainsttheenemiesandconstructpowerfularmies.Secondly,allthecitizenswouldbecalledontounitetogetherandresistothercountriesinvasionbravely.Whatsmore,joiningsomeanti-invaderspartieswouldalsobemychoice.,.,3,亮点句型写作指导,除了虚拟语气外,有许多亮点句型可以应用到写作中,增分添彩。,.,4,比喻,AistoBwhatCistoD.Likethesunshine,kindnesscanhelpthoseintrouble.Kindnessislikethelighthouse,whichcandirectthewayforthosewhoareindimsituation.,.,5,排比,IfIcouldgobacktothepastanddotheabovementionedthings,thelastthingmygrandparememberedwouldnotbetheindifferenceandthebackofhisbelovedgrandson.IfIcouldtravelbackthroughtime,thelastmemorybetweenhimandmewouldnotbehisclosedeyesandthedeadlookofhalf-unconscioussuffering.Thennow,Iwouldnothavetolivewiththisunbearableregretandpainfortherestofmylife.IfonlyIcould!,.,6,倒装(赢在写作P37-38),Simpleasthestoryis,Heregoesthesayingthat_.Onlywhen_canwe_.Onlyinthisway,canweOnlybydoing-,canwe_.Onlyafterdoingsth,canweOnthewestoftheschoolliesapond,wheremanyfishareswimming.Undernocircumstanceshouldwe-类似的用法:Never/Bynomeans/onnoaccount/innoway/atnotimeshouldI.Hardly/scarcelyhadIgotintotheroomwhenitbegantorain.(nosooner,than),.,7,Haditnotbeenforherstickingtobeingontime,shewouldnthaveearnedherselfawell-paidjobandmoreimportantlybuiltupanimageofreliabilityandintegrity.,倒装,ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.,.,8,亮点写作的注意事项,1.过多的亮点,显得堆砌对策:亮点分布,尽量首句2.亮点单一,例如全段排比或比喻对策:最好总排比-总的结构。照顾段落的完整性。3.华而不实,不重视内容,徒有框架没有内容对策:先想内容,再想修辞手法4.过多注重运用亮点,没有注意谋篇,顾此失彼对策:谋好篇,定好每点行数,才能下笔,.,9,亮点句型写作训练练习:1.说明挫折的意义2.你怎样看待老师对学生的影响。3.说说你对母爱的理解4.谈谈决心对人的影响,.,10,使用虚拟语气写作的注意事项:1.确定到底要不要“虚”?2.确定到底使用哪个时态的“虚”?3.所谓“一虚到底”,其实是指在该假设情境中的虚拟的时态的一致性。而非一定是通段都使用虚拟!一切要看情况进行选用。,.,11,说说挫折的意义,1.Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis,itisofsignificanceinourlife.Astheoldsayinggoes,“stormmakestreestakedeeperroots”,withoutfrustration,nevercouldwegrowupasastrong-willedperson.Werewesurroundedbyover-praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness,frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm,urgingusnottostopattheso-calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit.Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles,frustrationcouldbeaphilosophersstone(魔法石),withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestrongerInaword,lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain.,.,12,说说挫折的意义,2.Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself-developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess.,.,13,老师对学生的影响,1.Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife,studentslifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness.Withoutteachers,thelaboriousengineersofoursoul,studentspersonalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped.Withoutteachers,theladderwithselflessdevotion,ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature.Withoutteachers,thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge,nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture.,.,14,老师对学生的影响,2.Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers,nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult.Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers,nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture.Withouttheknowledgeableteachers,neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry.,.,15,母爱的理解,1.Withoutmaternalaffection,wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare.Withoutthisever-lastingemotion,neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness.,.,16,母爱的理解,2.Maternalloveislikeacircle.Ithasnobeginningandnoending.Butformotherhood,wewouldbethelittlestrayedlambswhosteponthemistakentrack.Butformotherhood,nevercanwebeenvelopedinwarmthandmerrimentbyapatchofsunlight.Butformotherhood,wecouldbeoverwhelmedbyendlessdarknessandtheworldwouldfadefromcolorfulandwonderfultodimandcold.,.,17,决心的影响,1.Determinationisthefuelofships,withoutwhich,nevercouldwearriveattheshoreofsuccess.Determinationisthewalkingstickoftheclimbers,withoutwhich,nevercouldwereachthepeakoflife.Determinationistheverycondition,withoutwhich,nevercouldwegetridofthedarkdepthofdepression.,.,18,决心的影响,2.Withoutthefirmdetermination,nevercouldindividualsgrowintostrongtreesstrugglinginthewindandrain.Withoutthesteadfastmind,nevercouldteamsunitetogethertocreatemiracle.Withouttheunswervingresolution,nevercouldcountriesuniteandfightfortheflourishingandbrightfutureaswellasaharmoniousworld.,.,19,.,20,说说挫折的意义,1.Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis,(倒装)itisofsignificanceinourlife.Astheoldsayinggoes,“stormmakestreestakedeeperroots”,(名言)withoutfrustration,nevercouldwegrowupasastrong-willedperson.(虚拟)Werewesurroundedbyover-praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness,frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm,urgingusnottostopattheso-calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit.Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles,frustrationcouldbeaphilosophersstone(魔法石),withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestronger.(虚拟+排比+非限制性定从)Inaword,lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain.(总结部分可以用现在时),.,21,说说挫折的意义,2.Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch.(倒装)Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself-developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess.(虚拟反说+比喻+排比),.,22,老师对学生的影响,1.Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife,studentslifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness.Withoutteachers,thelaboriousengineersofoursoul,studentspersonalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped.Withoutteachers,theladderwithselflessdevotion,ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature.Withoutteachers,thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge,nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture.(虚拟反说+排比),.,23,老师对学生的影响,2.Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers,nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult.Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers,nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture.Withouttheknowledgeableteachers,neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry.(虚拟反说+排比),.,24,母爱的理解,1.Withoutmaternalaffection,wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare.Withoutthisever-lastingemotion,neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness.(虚拟反说+排比),.,25,母爱的理解,2.Maternalloveislikeacircle.Ithasnobeginningandnoending.(比喻,多一句进行补充说明,使得比喻更具体形象)Butformotherhood,wewouldbethelitt
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