高考书面表达讲评--求助信(37张ppt).ppt

书面表达讲评-Aletterforhelp,Learningaims,1.TolearnthestandardsforevaluationofcompositioninEnglishexamination;2.Tokeepinmindhowtowriteagoodletterforhelp;3.Tobeabletowriteabeautifulletterforhelp.,直击高考,评分原则：1.本题总分为25分,按5个档次给分.(第一档：15分；第二档：610分;第三档：1115分；第四档：1620分；第五档：2125分）2.评分时,先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次,然后以该档的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。,3.词数少于80和多于120的,从总分中减去2分.4.评分时,应注意的主要内容为:内容要点,应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性,上下文的连贯性及语言的得体性。5.拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时,应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英,美拼写及词汇均可接受。6.如书写较差,以至影响交际,将分数降低一个档次.,Chineseknots,(2013课标卷全国II)假定你是李华，自制了一些中国结（Chineseknot）。给开网店的美国朋友Tom写封信，请他代卖，要点包括：1.外观（尺寸、颜色、材料）2.象征意义3.价格注意：1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3.开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。DearTom,Howareyoudoing?_Lihua,写作步骤：一、审题。二、写作。三、检查修改。,一、审题：,1.审主题2.审人称3.审时态4.列要点5.谋篇,Before-writing,审主题：2.审人称：请开网店的美国朋友Tom代卖自制中国结。Imwritingtoaskifyoucanhelpmetosellsomehome-madeChineseknots.3.审时态：请代卖中国结，介绍其外观、意义和价格。,求助信(aletterforhelp)。,故人称为第一人称和第二人称。,一般现在时为主，其它时态为辅。,4.列要点：5.谋篇：三段法模式第一段：Purpose:第二段：Body:第三段：Conclusion:,求助,求助原因,介绍情况。,表达期待或谢意。,请朋友代卖自制中国结。自制中国结的外观（尺寸、颜色、材料）。自制中国结的象征意义。自制中国结的价格。,二、写作：1.选词组织要点。2.扩词成句。3.整理成篇。,While-writing,选词组织要点：请朋友代卖自制中国结。自制中国结的外观（尺寸、颜色、材料）。自制中国结的象征意义。自制中国结的价格。,askyoutohelpmesellsomeChineseknotssellsomeChineseknotsformegivemeahandtosellChineseknotsforme,shape;6incheslongand5incheswide;inlengthandwidth;redsilkthreads;home-made;adiamond.,asymbolofunion;sdandfor;goodluck;love.,price;only5dollarseach;canbesoldatapriceof$12;.,2.扩词成句。请朋友代卖自制中国结。自制中国结的外观（尺寸、颜色、材料）。,IwonderifyoucouldsellsomeChineseknotsforme.Ifitisconvenienttoyou,wouldyoupleasegivemeahandtosellsomeforme?Wouldyoudomeafavortohelpmesellsome?,ChineseknotsarepopularwithChinesefamilies,whichareintheshapeofadiamond,about5incheslongand4incheswide.Theylookreallybeautifulintheshapeofadiamond,about5inchesinlengthand4inchesinwidth.,自制中国结的象征意义。自制中国结的价格。表达期待或谢意。,InChina,theseknotsstandforfriendship,loveandgoodluck.Chineseknotswillbringyougoodluckandlove.WeChineseattachmuchsignificancetoChineseknots,whichareasymbolofunion.,Theyareonly10dollarseach.Theycanbesoldatapriceof$5each.Youcanmaketheprice10dollarseach.,Lookingforwardto(receiving)yourearlyreply.Iwouldappreciateitifyoucouldhelpme.Thankyouinadvance.,3.整理成篇。(句式多样化)关联词的使用复杂句的使用高级词汇的使用DearTom,Howareyoudoing?ImwritingtotellyouthatIhavebeenmakingsomeChineseknotsrecently.Ifitisconvenienttoyou,wouldyoupleasegivemeahandtosellsomeforme?Youknow,inChina,ChineseknotsarepopularwithChinesefamilies,whichareintheshapeofadiamond,about5incheslongand4incheswide.Chineseknotswillbringyoufriendship,loveandgoodluck.Notonlycantheybepresentedtoothersasgiftsbutalsotheycanhangthemtodecoartetheirhouses.Thepriceis$13each.,Ifanyonearoundyoushowsinterestintheknots,contactmesoon.Meanwhile,doletmeknowifyouneedfurtherinformation.Ilookforwardtoyourreplyatyourearliestconvenience.Yours,LiHua,三、检查修改：检查单词拼写、标点符号等。检查要点是否遗漏。检查句子结构是否正确。估计字数是否符合要求。学生习作中的错误句子：IwantyoucanhelpmesoldsomeChineseknots.Itstandsforhappiness,healthyandluck.Ifyoucouldhelpme,Iwouldgreatlyappreciateyou.Lookingforwardforyoureply.,IhopeyoucanhelpmesellsomeChineseknots.,health,it,toyour,Post-writing,抄阅读文章中的句子;不知所云.得分为0分,语言素质欠缺;基本功差;语句毛病多;大小写;标点符号;书写不清等等;得6分.,卷面不整洁;涂改较多;语言错误多;层次不清;得11分,语言不地道;中文式思维;词汇错误;卷面有涂改;得15分.,有少许语言错误;得22分,（2016全国卷I）假定你是李华，暑假想去一家外贸公司兼职，已写好申请书和个人简历（resume）。给外教MrJenkins写信，请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）注意：1.词数100左右;2.可以适当增加细节，已使行文连贯。,Practice,Thinkabout?,Thestyle:Themainidea:Person:Tense:,Thestyle:Themainidea:Person:Tense:,aletterforhelp,askwhethertheforeignteachercanhelptopolishtheletterofapplicationandresume,thefirstperson,thesimplepresenttense,列要点,Point1:学生李华，向您求助Point2:暑假想去一公司任职Point3:申请书和个人简历已完成，希望老师帮忙修改Point4：修改内容Point5：表达期望,扣主题拓展句,Point1:升级句式（名词作同位语）Point2：拓展今年暑假去一家公司兼职+做兼职的意义(非限制性定语从句)Point3：拓展FirstlySecondlyLastly/besides,DearMsJenkins,Imoneofyourstudents,LiHuafromClassTwo.Imwritingtoaskforyourhelp.ThissummerIintendtotakeupapart-timejobinaforeigncompany,throughwhichIwouldliketobroadenmyhorizons,gainsomeworkingexperienceandmeetnewfriends.MyapplicationandresumehavebeenpreparedandIsincerelyhopeyoucanhelpmepolishthem.Firstly,Imwonderingifyoucanhelpaddsomecontents.Besides,iftherearesomemistakesinthem,Ihopeyoucanhelpcorrectthem.Lastly,Iattachsomematerialswhoseformathadbetterbechangedandhopeyoucanhelp.,Iwouldappreciateitifyoucouldtakethetroubletodosomuchforme.Lookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.Yourstruly,LiHua,五档作文,DearMsJenkins,ImLiHuafromyourEnglishwritingclasslastterm.Imwritingtoaskforyourhelp.Imapplyingforapart-timejobataforeigncompanyinmycityduringthesummervacation,andIhavejustcompletedmyapplicationletterandresume.However,IamnotquitesureofthelanguageandtheformatIveused.Iknowyouhaveaverybusyschedule,butIdbeverygratefulifyoucouldtakesometimetogothroughthemandmakenecessarychanges.Pleasefindmyapplicationletterandresumeintheattachment.Thankyouforyourkindness!Yours,LiHua,Howtowriteagoodletterforhelp?,Summary,Dear,Iamwritingtoaskafavourofyou.IwonderifyoucouldsparesometimetohelpmeTha