潍坊模拟高三英语作文讲评

1、高三英高三英语语作文作文讲评课讲评课暴露问题审题不准导致详略不当和时态误用。审题不准导致详略不当和时态误用。句式单调句式单调,存在中式英语现象。存在中式英语现象。缺乏必要的过渡，行文不流畅。缺乏必要的过渡，行文不流畅。词性、词义掌握不准，导致表达不清楚。词性、词义掌握不准，导致表达不清楚。4123解决问题写前审题审题定确定确话题话题明确明确要点要点合理合理布布局局其它其它体裁、人称体裁、人称 主体时态主体时态层次清晰层次清晰（分段）（分段）详略得当详略得当（扣题）（扣题）仔细阅读仔细阅读汉语提示汉语提示信息信息3信息信息4 开头开头 (歉意）歉意） 正文正文（请求）（请求） 结尾结尾（意愿）（

2、意愿）体裁体裁人称人称时态时态 章法章法一般现在时（一般过去时）一般现在时（一般过去时）Para.1Para.1Para.2Para.2Para.3Para.3信息信息1信息信息2信息信息5我很抱歉没有参加英语考试。我很抱歉没有参加英语考试。因为我周末滑冰把胳膊摔折了。因为我周末滑冰把胳膊摔折了。稍作展开（前因，后果）稍作展开（前因，后果）补考时间补考时间总结总结书信格式书信格式课外作业（如阅读书目，课外作业（如阅读书目，作业要求）作业要求）第一人称第一人称解决问题写中语言表达语言表达准确性准确性地道性地道性连贯性连贯性多样性多样性 病句分析病句分析 1. Im writing to expr

3、ess my aoplogize 2. Due to my careless , my arm was broken when I was skating. 3. Im sorry for my absent from the English exam. 4. Im sorry that I didnt attend to the English exam 5. Can you tell me when can I take the exam again? 6. Please tell me the homework is, such as the books I should read an

4、d what I should do for the homework. apologynessabsence准确表达地道表达 道歉句型：道歉句型：1. Please forgive me for my not attending the English test.2. Im sorry for my absence from the English test. 3. I sincerely apologize for my absence from the English exam 请求句型：请求句型：1.I am wondering when you could give me anoth

5、er chance to have a test?2. Would you please like to tell me what our homework is?3. I would appreciate it if you could give me another chance. 4. I sincerely hope that you could forgive me.5. I would be grateful if you could help me out.连贯表达1. 选出表达更连贯的表达 Im sorry that I didnt attend the English tes

6、t 填入合适衔接词。I failed to take the test. _it is very important for me. Would you please give me another chance for a make-up one and tell me the specific time for it. _ , Ill do whatever I can to finish the homework. _ I wonder if you could attach the requirements to the letter if it is convenient to yo

7、u.2. 考虑一下结尾哪种更好？ A. Dont worry about me, Ill recover soon. Looking forward to your early reply. B. Finally，I apologize to you again. Looking C. Im sorry to have to put you so much trouble. Looking Whats more, In addition, BesidesHowever多样表达 一句多译一句多译 我周末滑冰胳膊不慎摔断，因而没有参加英语考试。1. Because I broke my arm b

8、y accident, I didnt attend the English exam.2. (With my) arm broken, I didnt attend the English exam.3. Having broken my arm by accident , I didnt attend the English exam.4. The reason why I didnt attend the English exam was that I had my arm broken by accident. 5. I didnt attend the exam. This was

9、because I had my arm broken while skating.解决问题写后解决问题写后Dear Mrs. Clemens, Im writing to make an apology to you. _I I was absent from your test. Last weekend, I was happily skating _and had my left arm broken. _So Id like to ask you to give me a chance to take a make-up test. Please let me know when i

10、t is convenient for you after you make the arrangement. In addition, Id appreciate it if you could tell me what your homework is, such as the reading list for books and the requirements for homework. Im sorry to have to put you so much trouble. Wish you all the best! Looking forward to your early re

11、ply.Much as I like your English class,when suddenly I fell by accident However, English studying is very important to me.高分作文的六个特征高分作文的六个特征v层次不乱层次不乱 v句式多变句式多变 v亮点若干亮点若干 v巧妙串联巧妙串联 v蠢错不犯蠢错不犯 v整洁卷面整洁卷面Dear Mrs. Clemens, Im sorry for my absence from the English exam. Due to my carelessness, my arm was b

12、roken last weekend when I was skating. So I had to stay in bed for several days. Id like to ask you when can I have another chance to take a test again. In addition, please tell me the homework, such as the books I need to read and what I should pay attention to when doing it. I would appreciate it

13、a lot if you could contact me soon. Looking forward to your early reply. Yours, Li Hua 准确表达准确表达补考时间补考时间课外作业课外作业阅读书目阅读书目作业要求作业要求When I can get a chance to have another exam= make-up exam(after-class) homeworkthe books we need to read= the reading listwhat I should do = the homework requirements审题审题 假

14、设你是新华中学的学生李华，你周末滑冰时不慎假设你是新华中学的学生李华，你周末滑冰时不慎将胳膊摔折，因而未能参加英语考试。请根据以下要点将胳膊摔折，因而未能参加英语考试。请根据以下要点给你的外籍教师给你的外籍教师Mrs. Clemens 写一封电子邮件：写一封电子邮件：1.表达歉意并解释缺考原因表达歉意并解释缺考原因2.询问补考时间及课外作业（如阅读书目，作业要求等询问补考时间及课外作业（如阅读书目，作业要求等)注意：注意：1. 词数词数120-150 2. 可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。勾画利器勾画利器 信息整合信息整合=多个信息点多个信息点整合为整合为5点点段落

15、段落 要点（写作中心）要点（写作中心）第一段第一段第二段第二段第三段第三段第四段第四段开门见山，开门见山，合为一段合为一段目的：目的：缺考原因（详？略？）缺考原因（详？略？）补考时间补考时间课外作业课外作业 (阅读书目，作业要求）阅读书目，作业要求）结尾：结尾：Dear Mrs. Clemens, I still feel sorry for my absence from the English exam. Here Im writing to tell you the reasons for it.( Last weekend, I went skating with my friends

16、. Because of my carelessness, I fell down and had my left arm broken, which means that I couldnt attend the English exam. However, body in bed, my heart cant wait to come back to our classroom. So , I want to ask you when I can have another chance to take a test again. In addition, please tell me th

17、e homework, such as the books I need to read and the requirements for it. Im so sorry to have put you so much trouble. And I would appreciate it a lot if you could contact me soon. Looking forward to your early reply. 1, I broke my arm when I was skating. 2.I was absent from the English test because

18、 I broke my arm when I was skating. 3. I had my left arm broken because of my carelessness. 4. I went skating and had my left arm broken. This made me miss the exam.5,I was happily skating when suddenly I fell down by accident .Can you improve them?I broke my arm when skating. The reason why I could

19、nt attend the English exam was that I fell down when I was skating. So careless was I that I broke my left arm while I was skating. I went skating and had my left arm broken, which made me miss the exam. , making me miss the exam.Im sorry to tell you that I cant participate in the English exam becau

20、se I had my arms broken. didnt 问题1：永恒话题永恒话题：如何审题？如何审题？“千金方千金方”1：用“勾画利器勾画利器”战胜粗心大意要点勾画时， 发挥要适度，合情合理。Before writing1.认真审题，勾勒提纲认真审题，勾勒提纲2. 紧扣要点，扩展成句紧扣要点，扩展成句3. 修饰文章，提升层次修饰文章，提升层次4. 添加过渡，确保连贯添加过渡，确保连贯5. 查缺补漏，工整抄写查缺补漏，工整抄写Follow the five steps: With the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully, What we shou

21、ld do now is how to make full use of the stadiums. I heard you are dying for some advice on how to make the best of them. Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you. First of all, the stadiums can be opened to the public, where they can strengthen their bodies conveniently. Sec

22、ondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport companies which organize matches, thus bringing in much more profits. last but not least, They can be used as tourist attraction. Because many of them are so well designed with strong Chinese features that they will surely be attractions for visitors from al

23、l over the world. From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use of the stadiums. Only when we take actions can we bring a bright future to their value. I would appreciate it very much if you would take my advice into deep consideration2010山东作文山东作文【情景提示情景提示】 假设你是新华中学的学生李华，你和在假设你是新华

24、中学的学生李华，你和在上海上学的英国朋友上海上学的英国朋友Tom约好下周末去北约好下周末去北京旅游，但你因故不能赴约。请根据以下京旅游，但你因故不能赴约。请根据以下要点用英语给他写一封电子邮件：要点用英语给他写一封电子邮件：1. 表示歉意；表示歉意；2. 解释原因；解释原因；3. 另约时间。另约时间。注意：注意：1. 词数词数120150； 2. 可适当增加细可适当增加细节。节。Dear Mrs. Clemens, I am writing to tell you that I cant attend the English exam this Monday. I sorry for my a

25、bsence . Last weekend, I was preparing for the English exam when my best friend Tom asked me to go skating with him. I would have refused him if I had known what would happen next. But he said it might release my pressure and help me do well in the exam. So I followed his advice. Unfortunately , I h

26、ad my arm broken .I really regretted it）展示问题于秉琪于秉琪要求考生根题示要求考生根题示 进行书面表达。考生应能：进行书面表达。考生应能：1)地传递信息，表达意思地传递信息，表达意思 2)运用所学语言知识运用所学语言知识Dear Mrs. Clemens, How is everything going?Im sorry to tell you the reason why I cant attend the English exam. Last weekend, I skated with my friends. We chould have spen

27、t a better time. Unfortunately, I skated too fast to stop. To avoid knocking at a little girl, I fell off and my arm was broken. Thankfully, the girl was OK. But you neednt worry about me. I believe Ill recover soon. Id like to ask you when I can have another chance to take a test again. In addition

28、, please tell me the homework, such as the books I need to read and what I should pay attention to when doing it. Looking forward to your early reply. (张华都）didnt 审题与结构：Dear Mrs. Clemens, Im writing to make an apology to you. Much as I like your English class, I was absent from your test. Last weekend, I was happily skating when suddenly I fell by accident and had my left arm broken. Id like to