【公开课课件】读后续写：一次感恩友情的演讲

Continuationwriting一次

一次感恩友情的演讲Keywordsandphrasesannouncedourassignmentuponhearingitcouldn’thelpcomplainingtoMareyagetstagefrightbebotheredbyfiguredoutwhattosayI’dmessupwitheveryonestaringatme宣布了我的作业一听到....忍不住抱怨有舞台恐惧被...所困扰弄明白说什么我会弄糟的大家都盯着我Keywordsandphrasesscribbledsomethingonapieceofpapergiggledheldthepictureuptoherearworkedonourtalkstogether在纸上潦草地画了东西咯咯笑把图片放在耳边一起

弄演讲Difficultsentences1.Butonethingaboutreallygoodfriendswhoknewyoureallywellwasthattheydidn'talwaysdoexactlywhatyouaskedthemto.

但真正了解你的好朋友有一点是，他们并不总是完全按照你的要求去做。2.Mareyacouldbeprettypushytalkingofbeinghelpful.

说起帮助别人时，玛丽亚有时会非常积极/热心/热情洋溢。DifficultparagraphsButonethingaboutreallygoodfriendswhoknewyoureallywellwasthattheydidn'talwaysdoexactlywhatyouaskedthemto.Mareyacouldbeprettypushytalkingofbeinghelpful.Shescribbled(潦草地写)somethingonapieceofpaper,liftedmyhood,andsmiled.She'ddrawnafunnyelephantwiththewordBREATHEcomingoutofitstrunk.“ThisisFranky,the'everything'sgoingtobeallright’elephant.”Mareyagiggled.Sheheldthepictureuptoherearandasked,“What'sthatyousay,Franky?YouthinkmyfriendArizonashouldcomeovertomyhousethisweekendsowecanworkonourtalkstogether?”WhoisFranky?WhoisArizona?WhatdoesMareyameanbysaying“theunderlinedsentences?FrankyisanelephantdrawnbyMareya.Arizonaisthewriterherself.

MareyaisinvitingthewritertoherhousetohelpArizonawithhertalkinafunnyandwarmway.Majorproblemsinplot1.未看懂Arizona就是作者自己，所以第一段增加了一个人物“Arizona”.2.未看懂Arizona就是作者自己，也就未能准确理解第一个段首句,就出现

了

首段的场景是发生在教室里等情况。

Para5“ThisisFranky,the'everything'sgoingtobeallright’elephant.”Mareyagiggled.Sheheldthepictureuptoherearandasked,“What'sthatyousay,Franky?YouthinkmyfriendArizonashouldcomeovertomyhousethisweekendsowecanworkonourtalkstogether?”

Para6Andthat

wasexactlywhathappened.Whatdoes“that”referto?Twofriends’workingontheirtalkstogetheratArizona’shouse

重视对所给原文的最后一段。最后一段往往是故事高潮走向回落的转折点。

Attheendoftheclass,Mr.SmithannouncedourassignmentforthenextMondaywastotalkaboutsomeoneweweregratefultoinsteadofabookreport.Uponhearingit,Icouldn'thelpcomplainingtoMareyathatIwassonervousabouthavingtotalkinfrontofthewholeclass.“You'vebeeninatleastthreeplays,”Mareyapointedout.“Ifyoudon'tgetstagefrightinfrontofthosebigaudiences,whyareyoubotheredbyafewkidsinourclass?”Itwastrue,butinaplayyouwerepartofagroup.Ishookmyhead.Plus,thereweresomanypeopleIwasgratefulto.TherewasnowayIcouldpossiblypickjustone.Plus,evenifIpickedoneI'dhavenoideawhattosay.Plus,evenifIfiguredoutwhattosay,Iwasamillion-percentpositiveI'dmessupifItriedtosayitoutloud!I'dbestandingtherewitheveryonestaringatme,waitingforwordstocomeoutofmymouth.“Oh,mygoodness!”Ipulledmysweatshirthood(兜帽)overmyface,putmyhandsovermyearsandsaid,“Idon'twanttotalkaboutit!"Butonethingaboutreallygoodfriendswhoknewyoureallywellwasthattheydidn'talwaysdoexactlywhatyouaskedthemto.Mareyacouldbeprettypushytalkingofbeinghelpful.Shescribbled(潦草地写)somethingonapieceofpaper,liftedmyhood,andsmiled.She'ddrawnafunnyelephantwiththewordBREATHEcomingoutofitstrunk.“ThisisFranky,the'everything'sgoingtobeallright’elephant.”Mareyagiggled.Sheheldthepictureuptoherearandasked,“What'sthatyousay,Franky?YouthinkmyfriendArizonashouldcomeovertomyhousethisweekendsowecanworkonourtalkstogether?”Andthatwasexactlywhathappened...................................................................................................OnMondaymorning,however,IdecidedtotalkaboutMareya.........................................................Part1(1-3)problem

sonervousaboutthepresentationnextMonday

Itwastrue,butinaplayyouwerepartofagroup.Ishookmyhead.Plus,thereweresomanypeopleIwasgratefulto.TherewasnowayIcouldpossiblypickjustone.Plus,evenifIpickedoneI'dhavenoidea

whattosay.Plus,evenifIfiguredoutwhattosay,Iwasamillion-percentpositiveI'dmessup

ifItriedtosayitoutloud!I'dbestandingtherewitheveryonestaringatme,waitingforwordstocomeoutofmymouth.“Oh,mygoodness!”Ipulledmysweatshirthood(兜帽)overmyface,putmyhandsovermyearsandsaid,“Idon'twanttotalkaboutit!"心理

动作

语言

sonervous

aboutthepresentationnextMonday

Attheendoftheclass,Mr.SmithannouncedourassignmentforthenextMondaywastotalkaboutsomeoneweweregratefultoinsteadofabookreport.Uponhearingit,Icouldn'thelpcomplainingtoMareyathatIwassonervousabouthavingtotalkinfrontofthewholeclass.“You'vebeeninatleastthreeplays,”Mareyapointedout.“Ifyoudon'tgetstagefrightinfrontofthosebigaudiences,whyareyoubotheredbyafewkidsinourclass?”Itwastrue,butinaplayyouwerepartofagroup.Ishookmyhead.Plus,thereweresomanypeopleIwasgratefulto.TherewasnowayIcouldpossiblypickjustone.Plus,evenifIpickedoneI'dhavenoideawhattosay.Plus,evenifIfiguredoutwhattosay,Iwasamillion-percentpositiveI'dmessupifItriedtosayitoutloud!I'dbestandingtherewitheveryonestaringatme,waitingforwordstocomeoutofmymouth.“Oh,mygoodness!”Ipulledmysweatshirthood(兜帽)overmyface,putmyhandsovermyearsandsaid,“Idon'twanttotalkaboutit!"Butonethingaboutreallygoodfriendswhoknewyoureallywellwasthattheydidn'talwaysdoexactlywhatyouaskedthemto.Mareyacouldbeprettypushytalkingofbeinghelpful.Shescribbled(潦草地写)somethingonapieceofpaper,liftedmyhood,andsmiled.She'ddrawnafunnyelephantwiththewordBREATHEcomingoutofitstrunk.“ThisisFranky,the'everything'sgoingtobeallright’elephant.”Mareyagiggled.Sheheldthepictureuptoherearandasked,“What'sthatyousay,Franky?YouthinkmyfriendArizonashouldcomeovertomyhousethisweekendsowecanworkonourtalkstogether?”Andthatwasexactlywhathappened...................................................................................................OnMondaymorning,however,IdecidedtotalkaboutMareya.........................................................Part1(1-3)problem

Part1(4-7)solution

WiththehelpofMareyanervousaboutthepresentationnextMondaysogratefultoMareyaThemePreciousfriendshipbetweenclassmates

Majorproblemsinwriting1.续写第一段，进门部分描写过多，没有具体Mareya帮助作者的过程，

导致主次颠倒。2.续写第二段，一是与所给段首句的衔接不当。二是语言平淡，不能

让读者深刻感受到作者对Mareya的感激之情。Paragraph1:

Andthatwasexactlywhathappened.MareyaandIsatatthedeskatthestudyinherhouseonSaturdayafternoon.Iaskedhercuriouslywhoshewouldpicktotalkabout.“Mygranda”.Sheblurtedout.Shetoldmeshewasgratefultohergrandma,whotookgreatpainstobringherupdespitepoorhealth.Fromherexcitedlookandgentletone,Icouldfeelherdeepgratitudeandloveforhergrandma.IwassoimmersedinhertalkthatIdidn'tnoticeshehadfinishedituntilshepattedmyshoulder.ShethensuggestedItalkaboutmymum.IfollowedheradviceasIhadnoothergoodideas.Shealsohelpedmeorganizemyideasandgavemepatientguidanceonmygestures,emotionsandeyecontactwhenpractisingthepresentationinherpresence.ShewassohelpfulthatIgotprepar