读后续写：真正的球迷导学案 高三英语二轮专题

●原文呈现:阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

AlthoughIamagirl,IcansayIamatruefanofsoccergames，foritisdefinitelyoneofthebestwaystogetawayfrommytiringworktemporarilyandhavefun.Therefore,themomentIgotthenewsthattherewouldbeagamebetweenourhometeamagainsttheTeamfromLondonCity,immediatelyIbookedaseatatthefrontrow,wishingtohaveafantasticweekend.

lhadagreatmoodwhenIgotseatedinthestadium.However,asthegamebegan,Ispottedthatinfrontofmesataguy，wholookedquitenice.Butmaybehisideaofhavingfunwasnothinglikemine,ormostnormalwell-behavedfans,suchasstandingandyelling,non-stop,asloudashecould.Heyelledatthecoaches,attheplayers,attheLondonCity'sfansandevenattheofficialspresent,alwaysatthetopofhislungs.

Hekepthisactionfortheentire45minutesandnevershowedanysignoftiredness.Obviouslyhewassoabsorbedinthegamethathefailedtonoticehewasruiningtheexperienceofhundredsofothers.

Withhimyellingbyme,myeardrumsalmostgotbroken,forhismouthwassoclosetomyears.Forawhile,Ieventhoughtofshoutingbackathimandstoppinghisyelling.Peoplearoundwereturningtolookathim,andIcouldreadtheirthoughts,"Ishenevergoingtostop?”Butheseemedblindtothoselooks.Athalf-time,Iescapedbywalkingforafewminutesoutsidethestadium.Iwasthinkingofseekinganemptyseatinthestudentsectionacrossthestadium,buttomydisappointment,theseatswerealltaken.Ihadnochoicebuttogobacktotheguy.

Tomakemattersworse,whenreturningtomyseat,Imissedmystepsandfellheavilyonthestairs.AsIwasstrugglingtostandup,apairofhugehandshelpedmefrombehind.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph1:Ilookedbackandsawtheguy'ssmilingfaceand

concernedeyes.Paragraph2:Theguykepthisshoutingforanother45minutes.●原文大意:文章讲述了主人公是一个喜欢足球的女孩,去看一场比赛时遇到了一个粗鲁的男子，他一直大声嚷嚷着,影响了周围观众的观赛体验。中场休息时,女孩想去别的座位避开这个男子,但是没能成功,回到座位后还摔倒了,被男子扶起来。●文章中的好句式:1.状语1（副词）+状语2(时间状从,包含同位从)+状语3(非谓语)Therefore,

themoment

Igotthenews

that

therewouldbeagamebetweenourhometeamagainsttheTeamfromLondonCity,immediatelyIbookedaseatatthefrontrow,wishingto

haveafantasticweekend.2.状语1(副词）+状语2(时间状语从句)+简单句(包含宾从)+定从However,

asthegamebegan,Ispotted

that

infrontofmesataguy，who

lookedquitenice.3.状语(介词短语)+简单句+状语(原因状语从句)Withhimyellingbyme,myeardrumsalmostgotbroken,

for

hismouthwassoclosetomyears.4.状语1+状语2+简单句(并列动作)Tomakemattersworse,

whenreturningtomyseat,Imissedmysteps

and

fellheavilyonthestairs.●情节设置:写作指导:作者是个球迷，因为足球可以让她暂时摆脱疲惫的工作并享受乐趣。在一次看足球赛时遇到了一个全场都在大声喊叫的人，作者感到非常厌烦。中场时作者躲出去了，但在回座位时摔倒了，得到了这位球迷的帮助。通过聊天得知这也是他减压的方式。受他的热情感染，作者也沉浸在比赛中并喊叫起来，这感染了所有的球迷，似乎队员表现的也非常好。Paragraph1:Ilookedbackandsawtheguy'ssmilingfaceand

concernedeyes.参考情节:表示感谢→一直大声喊叫的原因→很尴尬→不再介意他的喊叫●修改过程:Paragraph1:I

lookedbackandsawtheguy'ssmilingfaceand

concernedeyes.1.“Areyouokay”Heasked

gently,his

voicealotdifferentfrom

hisshoutings.非常好,表现了男孩的另一面,显示了他在紧张的比赛中的热情和激动只是掩盖了他内心的温柔和体贴。作者通过描述男孩的声音改变来揭示这一点,这样的描写方式使故事更加生动有趣,让读者更容易被吸引。→其它写法:Withakindnessthatwasunexpected,he

movedcloserandasked,“Areyoualright?”Hisvoice

wassoftandcaring."2.Istunnedandwasrootedtothespot,mymindkeptrunningtoseekwordsforresponsebutactuallyIonlymanagedtoutterafewwordstosay

“thanks”.在该句中,语法和用词方面存在一些问题:stunned此处应该是形容词,前面需加was;kept应该去掉或改为racing,否则多了一个谓语作为回应应该是inresponse;say的后面是说话内容,数量上与afewwirds又相矛盾了。→初步修改:2.Iwasstunnedandrootedtothespot,mymindrunning/racingtoseektherightwordsinresponsebutactuallyIonlymanaged

touttera‘thankyou’.→修改提升1:I

wasstunnedandrootedtothespot,my

mindracing

tofindtherightwordsinresponse.

However,

despitemyeffort,allIcoulddowas

stammerout

afewwordsofgratitude.→修改提升2:Mymind

wentblank

and

I

stoodfrozen,

strugglingtocomeupwith

therightwordstosay.

Eventually,allIcouldmanagewasa

feeble

'thankyou'inresponse.3.AfterIseatedmyselfandresumedtowatchthegame,Ibegan

reflectingonthepreviousincident.seated改为hadseated,表明“坐下来”这个动作发生在“回顾”之前;resumed表重新开始原来在做的事情,所以用watchingthegame更恰当;

beganreflecting可以改为foundmyselfreflecting,更自然地表达了反思的状态。

→修改提升:AfterI

hadseatedmyself

and

resumedwatching

thegame,I

foundmyselfreflectingon

theprevious/earlierincident.4.Theguywhohadmuddledupmyfeelingsinthesoccergamewastheonewhohadjusthelpedmekindly.心理描写。该句子在语法和用词方面并没有明显的问题,不需要修改。但是,如果想要增强表达力和流畅性,可以在one前加same,hadjusthelpedmekindly改为hadjustkindlyofferedmehelp。→修改提升:Theguywhohadmuddledupmyfeelingsinthesoccergamewas

thesameonewho

hadjust

kindlyofferedmehelp.→其它写法1:Itwasthesameguywhohadleftme

conflicted(不知所措的）duringthesoccermatchwhonowshowedkindnessbylendingahand.→其它写法2:Thepersonwhohadearlier

perplexed(使困惑)

methroughhisactionsinthesoccergame

turnedouttobe

thesameonewhohelpedmejustnow.5.ShouldItalktohimtolethimbemorequiet

or

Ijustturnedanblindeyeonhim?心理描写;let太口语化;or是并列连词,所以orIjustturnedablindeyeon/tohim应该改为orshouldIturnablindeyeon/tohim;an改为a→修改提升:

"ShouldItalktohim

toask

himtobequieter,

orshouldIjustturnablindeyeonhim?"→其它写法1:ShouldItalktohim

and

askhimtobequieter,

or

shouldIjust

ignore

him?→其它写法2:ShouldI

confrontpolitely

and

askhimto

lowerhisvoice,orshouldIchooseto

ignoreitentirely?"6.TheinitialangerrecededbutIwasstillbotheredtohearhiscareless

exclaimationwhichwouldturnofftheroofthestadium.botheredtohear可以改为botheredby,更清楚地表达句子的意思;exclaimation单词误拼,应该为exclamation;turnoff关闭,意思不通,应该改为“broughtdown”,表示可以导致整个体育场馆的坍塌，→修改提升:Theinitialangerreceded,butIwasstillbothered

by

hiscarelessexclamation,which

couldhavebroughtdown

theroofofthestadium.Paragraph2:Theguykepthisshoutingforanother45minutes.7.ButasItriedtocomprehendhiswords,Istartedtosensethepassion

insidethem.语法和用词方面都没有错误,但可以进行一些修改,以使其更自然流畅、更易读.→修改提升1:AsI

triedtograspthemeaning

ofhiswords,Ibegantofeelthepassion

behind

them.→修改提升2:AsI

struggledtounderstandwhathewassaying,I

realized

that

therewasadeeppassion

inhiswords.8.Thesmallkindnesshegavemeprovidedmeaglimpseofhisinnerpersonality,whichissupposedtobeconsiderate,soitwasn’talwaysforhimtodothisannoyingthingtoshoutsoloudinthestadium.gaveme改为showedme,更加准确;supposedtobe可改为appearedtobe，表示根据小善举来推断他的性格特点;alwaysforhimtodo可以改为somethinghewoulddo,这样更符合句子结构和语法规则;annoyingthingtoshout改为annoyingbehaviorofshouting,句子结构更加清晰和易于理解。→修改提升:Thesmallkindnesshe

showed

meofferedaglimpseintohisinnerpersonality,which

appearedtobe

considerate.

Thus,

itwaspuzzlingthat

he

wouldengagein

theannoyingbehaviorofshoutingsoloudlyinthestadium.调整后的句子更加流畅、语法也更加完整和正确，更准确地表达了句子的含义。9.Ileanedforward

and

pattedonhisshoulder,asking

himifthisgame

meantalotto

him.难得的动作描写。简单句(动作并列)+状语,句子结构很好;用词和语法方面都没有任何问题。→其它表达1:Ileaned

forward

and

placedareassuring

(安心的)

pat

onhis

shoulder,

inquiring

whetherthisgame

heldsignificantimportance

tohim.→其它表达2:Leaningtowardshim,I

gavehimacomfortingtap

onthe

shoulder

andquestioned

whetherthisgame

possessedgreat

significance

tohim.10.Expectantly,hetoldmethathissonwasonthesoccerteamwhowasjustplaying.句子语法没有错误,但为了提高句子的流畅度和可读性,建议在"team"这个单词之后添加一个逗号。→修改:Expectantly(怀期待地),hetoldmethathissonwasonthesoccerteam,who

wasjustplaying.→其它写法:He

eagerlyinformedmethat

hisson

wascurrentlyplayingfor

thesoccerteam.11.Uponhearingthis,Isuddenlyunderstoodhisbehaviorandwas

wrappedinawarmfeelingIhadgainedfromhisanswer.状语+简单句并列(包含一个定从),句子结构很好；was前加上I,结构更清晰。Uponhearingthis,Isuddenlyunderstoodhisbehavior

and

Iwas

wrappedinawarmfeelingIhadgainedfromhisanswer.12.Itsuddenlydawnedonmethat

thefanslikemeweremerelycoldaudiencesofthisgame,but

thefatherwastheone

who

reallycaredaboutthiscompetition.呼应第一段第一句;Itsuddenlydawnedonmethat...这个句式是亮点→其它写法:I

suddenlyrealizedthat

fanslikemewerejust

passivespectators

ofthegame,

while

thefatherwastheone

whogenuinely

caredaboutthecompetition.●修改精简后的文章完美呈现:Paragraph1:Ilookedbackandsawtheguy'ssmilingfaceandconcernedeyes.“Areyouokay”He

askedgently,hisvoicealotdifferentfromhisshoutings.I

wasstunned,

mymindracing

tofindtherightwords

inresponse.

However,allIcoulddowas

stammerout

a‘thankyou’.AfterIhadseatedmyself,I

foundmyselfreflectingon

theearlierincident.Thepersonwho

hadearlierperplexed

me

turnedout

tobethesameonewhohelpedmejustnow.ShouldItalktohimandaskhimtobequieter,

or

shouldIjust

ignore

him?The

initial

anger

receded,butIwasstillbotheredbyhis

careless

exclamation.

(101words)Paragraph2:Theguykepthisshoutingforanother45minutes.AsItriedto

grasp

themeaningofhiswords,Ibegantofeelthe

passion

behindthem.Hissmallkindnessshowedmehis

considerate

personality.Thus,

itwaspuzzlingthat

hewould

engagein

the

annoying

behaviorofshoutingsoloudly.I

leanedforward

and

pattedhimontheshoulder,asking

himifthisgame

meantalotto

him.Expectantly,hetoldmethathissonwas

on

thesoccerteam.Uponhearingthis,I

suddenlyunderstood

hisbehaviorandI

waswrappedin

awarmfeeling.Itsuddenlydawnedonmethat

thefanslikemewerejust

passivespectators,while

thefatherwastheonewho

genuinelycaredabout

thecompetition.

(107words)●参考范文:Ilookedbackandsawtheguy’ssmilingfaceandconcernedeyes.

Iexpressedmythankstohimgenuinelyforhiskindandtimelyhelp,afterwhich