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EffectiveSentences《英语写作》Q:Whataretheprinciplesforeffectivesentences?CONTENTSUnityCoherenceEmphasisConciseness01020304Variety051UnityPart1:Unity1.Unity一致性、完整性Aunifiedsentenceexpressesasinglecompletethought.Itdoesnotcontainideasthatarenotcloselyrelated,nordoesitexpressathoughtthatisnotcompletebyitself.Part1:UnityOriginal:BorninasmalltowninSouthChinaintheearly50s,hegrewuptobeafamousmusician.Revised:HewasborninasmalltowninSouthChinaintheearly50s.Inhischildhoodhewasinterestedinsinging.Laterheenteredamusicschool,andinthe70shebecameafamousmusician.(Notcloselyrelatedideas)
Part1:UnityOriginal:
DuFuwasoneofthegreatestpoets.Revised:
DuFuwasoneofthegreatestpoetsoftheTangdynastyofChina.
(Incompleteidea)
2CoherencePart2:Coherence2.Coherence连贯性Coherencemeansclearandreasonableconnectionbetweenparts.Asentenceiscoherentwhenitswordsandpartsareproperlyconnectedandtheirrelationshipsunmistakablyclear.Toachievecohesion,thefollowingtechniquescanbeadopted:
RepetitionSynonymyPronounreferenceEnumerationParallelismTransitions…Part2:CoherenceAsentenceisnotcoherentifithas:
Faultyparallelism平行结构缺陷Pronounwithambiguousreference代词指代不清Faultyshift(inpersonandnumber,invoice,tenseandmood)人称、数、语态、时态或语气上混乱Danglingormisplacedmodifiers
“悬垂”修饰语或修饰语位置不当Part2:CoherencePractice:Findoutthefaultypartsinthefollowingsentencesandtrytorevisethem.Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobyhisdeeds.2.Shetoldmysisterthatshewaswrong.3.Sheboughtseveralpicturebooksandputthemintoherbag,whichsheintendedtogivetoherchildren.4.Lookingoutofthewindow,thegrasslandstretchesasfarastheeyecanreach.5.ThosewhowishtotakeLinguisticsareexpectedtosignhisnameonthissheetofpaper.Part2:Coherence1.Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobyhisdeeds.Revised:Amanisjudgednotonlybywhathesaysbutalsobywhathedoes.Faultyparallelism平行结构缺陷Part2:Coherence
2.
Shetoldmysisterthatshewaswrong.Revised:“I’mwrong.”shetoldmysister.“Youarewrong.”shetoldmysister.Sheadmittedtomysisterthatshewaswrong.Pronounwithambiguousreference代词指代不清Part2:Coherence3.Sheboughtseveralpicturebooksandputthemintoherbag,whichsheintendedtogivetoherchildren.Revised:Sheboughtseveralpicturebookswhichsheintendedtogivetoherchildren,andputthemintoherbag.misplacedmodifierMisplacedmodifiers
修饰语位置不当Part2:Coherence4.Lookingoutofthewindow,thegrasslandstretchesasfarastheeyecanreach.Revised:Lookingoutofthewindow,he/she/Icanseethegrasslandstretchingasfaraseyecanreach.Outsidethewindow,thegrasslandstretchesasfarastheeyecanreach.danglingmodifierDanglingmodifiers
“悬垂”修饰语Part2:Coherence5.ThosewhowishtotakeLinguisticsareexpectedtosignhisnameonthissheetofpaper.theirnamesFaultyshift(inpersonandnumber,invoice,tenseandmood)人称、数、语态、时态或语气上混乱3EmphasisPart3:Emphasis3.Emphasis强调性Whenthereisanimportantidea,itshouldbeexpressedwithemphasis.Inwritingtherearecertainwaysforplacingemphasisonsentencesorwordsthatshouldbeemphasized.Part3:EmphasisShortsentencesSentencefragmentsInvertedsentencesParallelconstructionNegative-positivestatementPeriodicsentenceandbalancedsentence…Emphaticsentences:Part3:EmphasisPlacingRepetitionActivevoiceSubordinationEmphaticwordsandphrase…Emphasiswithinthesentence:4ConcisenessPart4:Conciseness4.Conciseness简洁性Iftheideaisfullyexpressed,thefewerwordsareused,thebetter.So,itisagoodhabittorereadwhathasbeenwrittentoseeifthereareanywordsthatcanbedeletedwithoutaffectingthemeaningexpressed.5VarietyPart5:Variety5.Variety多样性Varietyisessentialtogoodwriting.Aseriesofsentencesofthesamestructureandlength,beginningwiththesamenounorpronounasthesubject,wouldsoundmonotonous.Part5:VarietyRevised:Advertisingisbigbusinessanduseseverypossiblemethodofexcitingyoutobuy.Itcanbestraightforwardandinformational.Televisionandthenewspaperareperhapsthetwomostinfluentialmeansofadvertising,becausetheycouldreachthegreatestnumberofpeople.Advertisementinlocalnewspaperlooklikeanetandtellyouwhereandwhentobuy.Televisionisadifferentmedium.Itplayswithemotionandseektoinvokeanimmediateresponse.Original:Advertisingisbigbusiness.Ituseseverypossiblemethodofenticingyoutobuy.Itcanbestraightforwardandinformational.Televisionandthenewspaperareperhapsthetwomostinfluentialmeansofadvertising.Theyreachthegreatestnumberofpeopleinlocalnewspaperlooklikeanet.Theytellyouwhereandwhentobuy.Newspapersseemtobefortheserious-minded.Televisionisadifferentmedium.Itplayswithemotion.Itseekstoinvokeanimmediateresponse.UnityCoherenceConcisenessEmphasisVarietyEffectivesentencesPractice:Rewritethefollowingsentencesandimprovetheireffectiveness.1.BernardShawwasoneofthebest-knownplaywright.(unity)2.Gloriaknewthatpatience,calmness,andifshewasaffectionatewouldquietthechilddown.(coherence)3.Ireadaninterestingstoryinamagazineaboutsportsmen.(coherence)4.Beforechoo
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