第06讲轻松驾驭概要写作之记叙文

第06讲：轻松驾驭概要写作之记叙文第06讲：轻松驾驭概要写作之记叙文课程目标课程目标演练EQ\o\ac(

,●)专题知识：针对考试题型，进行系统梳理，感悟解题方法。EQ\o\ac(

,●)题型检测：链接考试真题，题型组合练，能力逐个突破。知识梳理知识梳理演练（一）概要写作的要点1.简要性（Conciseness）：Omitunnecessarydetailslikeexamples,explanationsandotherunimportantinformation.2.完整性（pleteness）：Toincludeallthemainandsupportingpointsdeliveredinyouownwordsinacondensedmanner.3.准确性（Accuracy）：Togivethesameattentionandstresstothepointsastheauthordoes.4.连贯性（Coherence）：Ratherthananoutlinelistedaskeywordsandphrases,asummaryisaparagraphwithnecessarytransitionsandfunctionstructurestomakeitflow.5.客观性（Objectivity）：Donotincludeyourownideasoremotionsonthetopic.Thesummaryshouldreflectthecontentoftheoriginalpassageonly.（二）记叙文概要写作技巧记叙文(Narration)：找出时间(when),地点(where),什么人(who),做了什么事(what),为什么做(why),结果怎么样(how)六要素。其中,最重要的要点是某人(who)做了何事(what)。若是夹叙夹议的文章,还要加上作者的看法、观点、经验或感悟。

1.叙事性的记叙文(Narration)。

叙事性的记叙文的主要内容的概括主要抓住记叙文的几个要素：时间、地点、人物、事件和影响或后果。

写人的记叙文（Description）。

写人的记叙文总结要点主要抓住人物的主要特点或事迹，划出关键词（所谓关键词是文中反复出现的体现主题或关联的词）。（三）记叙文概要写作模板记叙文体的阅读材料，相比其他文体而言，写概要相对容易。在写概要前，除明确文章主题外，还应抓住六个要素：when,where,who,what,why,how。在这六个要素中，所占内容比重最大的是what。一般来说，记叙文的故事概要可以用这样的模板来表示：记叙文：what/who/when/where/why/howWhodidwhatby…because…当然，不是说每个故事概要都包含how或why，有时两者选其一即可。【课堂典例】Directions:Readthefollowingpassage.Summarizethemainideaandthemainpoint(s)ofthepassageinnomorethan60words.Useyourownwordsasfaraspossible.

Discoveringalostbrother①KieronGrahamalwaysknewhehadanolderbrothernamedVincent.ThoughKieronspentyearsthinkingabouthim,hecouldnevertrackhimdown.②ThatchangedinDecember2017,whenKieron’sadoptiveparentsgavehimanAncestryDNAtestasaChristmasgift.Kieron,now21,senthissaliva(唾液)sampleinforanalysis.Whenhisresultscameback,hewasstunnedtofindhehadalotofDNAmatchesforrelativeswhohadalsotakenthetest.Mostweredistantconnections,butonematchwassostrongthatitwaslabeled“closefamily.”HisnamewasVincentGhant.KieronlookedforhimonFacebookandsoonmadeapossibleconnection.“Thisisgoingtosoundsowild…butIthinkyou’remybrother,”KieronwroteonFacebook’sMessengerapp.“Iwasgivenupforadoptionin1997anditsaysonmypaperworkthatmymotherhasasonwithyournameandyourbirthdate.HernameisShawn.”③“OMGdoyouknowyourrealname?”wroteVincent,now30.④“IthinkitwasTyler.”⑤“OMGYES!!!Youaremybrother.”⑥“Wow,”wroteKieron.⑦“Thisiscrazy,”saidVincent.⑧Thecrazinesswasjustbeginning.Astheytalked,thebrothersrealizedtheylivedabout20minutesfromeachother.Moresurprising,theyattendedthesameuniversityandmajoredandminoredinthesamesubjects:politicalscienceandlegalstudies.⑨VincentwasninewhenKieronwasbornandrememberscaringforhisbabybrother.Buttimesweretough,andShawn,whoworked15plushoursadayasanurse,decidedthatplacingKieronforadoptionwouldgivehimthebestchancetosucceed.⑩“Shewasveryemotionalaboutthattime,tothepointwhereitwashardforhertoputintowordsanythingaboutwhathappened,”Vincentsays.⑾Nowthebrothershadthechancetomakeupforlosttime.Theydecidedtomeetatalocalteashopthatweek.⑿OneofVincent’sconcernswasthatKieronmightresenthisbirthfamilyforplacinghimforadoption.HewasrelievedKierondidn’t,andthathe’dgrownupinalovingfamily.⒀Sincethatfirstmeeting,thebrothershavebondedevenmore.TheyplayfootballtogetherandcelebratedChristmaswiththeirfamilies.“We’llkeepgrowingourrelationshipuntilit’stimetoleavethisplanet,”saysVincent.Thatshouldn’tbehard.AsKieronsays,“We’vegotyearsandyearstocatchupon.”【解析指导】1.Mainidea 本文讲述了一对分开多年的兄弟重聚的故事。文章前半部分主要讲Kieron如何通过基因检测和Facebook找到了他的哥哥Vincent，后半部分讲述了他们重聚之后的往来，以及迅速建立感情。2.Textstructure 全文可以划分为三个部分： ①⑧第一部分：Kieron通过基因检测和Facebook找到了他的哥哥。 ⑨⑩第二部分：Kieron的妈妈为什么放弃他，让别人领养他。⑾⒀第三部分：Kieron和哥哥重聚后，迅速建立感情。3.Mindmap4.WritingprocedureStep1：细读全文，明确主题。本文主要是讲述了一对分开多年的兄弟重聚的故事。Step2：划分要点。记叙文注意是找who/what/when/where/why/howwho：Kieronwhat:foundhisbrotherVincentwhen/why:文中划线处where:无需强调how:throughanAncestryDNAtestandFacebookStep3：标主题句或关键词。已在文中用横线标出每段主题句。Step4：概括。SummarywritingKieron,givenupforadoptionreluctantlybyhismotherwhenhewasababy,foundhisbrotherVincentthroughanAncestryDNAtestandFacebook.Surprisingly,theylivedquiteclosetoeachotherandstudiedthesamesubjectsinthesameuniversity.Aftertheirfirstmeeting,thetwobrothersquicklybondedandwouldenhancetheirrelationshipintheyearstoe.(60words)课堂精练课堂精练演练1．（2023下·上海·高二华师大二附中校考期末）Directions:Readthefollowingpassage.Summarizethemainideaandthemainpoint(s)ofthepassageinnomorethan60words.Useyourownwordsasfaraspossible.Morethanhalfayearago,myfactorywasboughtbyalargecorporationandthemajorityofthemanagerslosttheirjobs,includingme.ThatwasthetimeIdecidedtodosomethingI’dalwayswantedtodo—beeafreelancewriter.Changingprofessionshasmeantthatmylifestylehaschangedinanumberofways.IworkjustasmuchasIdidbefore—between46and51hoursaweek—butmyscheduleismuchlessfixedthanitusedtobe.Asamanager,Iworkedfrom9a.m.to6p.m.everyday,withafewextrahoursonweekends.Now,however,IworkwhenIfeellikeit.Forinstance,sometimesIworkuntilmidnightor3a.m.,thensleepuntilnoon.Ireallypreferthiskindofschedule.WhileIwasworkingasamanager,Ineverexercised.Ialreadyfelttiredafterwork,soIjustcamehomeintheeveningandwatchedTV.However,lastDecember,Ijoinedahealthclubandbegantodoregularexercise.Asaresult,Ihavelostover10poundsandIfeelmuchbetter.I’vealsostartedtoeathealthierfoods.Iusedtoeatalotoffastfood,butnowIdomyownshopping.Ibuylotsoffruitsandvegetablesandcookthemathome.Ofcourse,notallthechangeshavebeenthateasy.Forexample,Idon’tfeelassafefinanciallyasIusedto.WhenIwasworkingasamanager,Ineverworriedmuchaboutmoney.Icouldalwayscountongettingmypaycheckeverytwoweeks.Workingfreelance,Idon’thavearegularpaycheck.SonowIhavetomakesurethatthere’senoughmoneyuntilthenextcheckarrives.Allinall,Ireallylikemycurrentlifestyle.Ofcourse,thatdoesn’tmeanI’llneverwanttohavea“regular”job.Butforme,atleast,itsuitsme.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Aftertheauthorquithispreviousjobandbecameafreelancewriter,somechangeshavetakenplacetohislifestyle.Theworkingschedulebeesmoreflexible.Hehasalsodonemoreexerciseandeatenmorehealthily.Butheisconcernedthathemightnotgetregularwages.Anyway,hefindsthecurrentlifestylesuitableforhim.【导语】本文是一篇记叙文。文章讲述了作者辞去之前的工作，成为一名自由撰稿人之后，他的生活方式发生了一些变化。工作时间表变得更加灵活。他也做了更多的运动，吃得更健康。但他担心自己可能得不到固定工资。不管怎样，他觉得现在的生活方式很适合他。【详解】Aftertheauthorquithispreviousjobandbecameafreelancewriter,somechangeshavetakenplacetohislifestyle.Theworkingschedulebeesmoreflexible.Hehasalsodonemoreexerciseandeatenmorehealthily.Butheisconcernedthathemightnotgetregularwages.Anyway,hefindsthecurrentlifestylesuitableforhim.1要点摘录①ThatwasthetimeIdecidedtodosomethingI’dalwayswantedtodo—beeafreelancewriter.Changingprofessionshasmeantthatmylifestylehaschangedinanumberofways.②IworkjustasmuchasIdidbefore—between46and51hoursaweek—butmyscheduleismuchlessfixedthanitusedtobe.③However,lastDecember,Ijoinedahealthclubandbegantodoregularexercise.I’vealsostartedtoeathealthierfoods.④Workingfreelance,Idon’thavearegularpaycheck.⑤Butforme,atleast,itsuitsme.2.缜密构思将第1、5两个要点进行重组，将第2、3、4三个要点进行整合。3.遣词造句Idecidedtobeeafreelancewriter.Changingjobsmeansthatmylifestylehaschangedinmanyways.Myscheduleismoreflexiblethanitusedtobe.Gradually,Istartedexercisingregularlyandeatinghealthierfoodatthesametime.Asafreelancer,IwasworriedaboutwhetherIwouldbeabletohavearegularsalary.However,Ithinkthislifestyleissuitableforme.【点睛】[高分句型1]Aftertheauthorquithispreviousjobandbecameafreelancewriter,somechangeshavetakenplacetohislifestyle.(运用了after连接前后两个句子，同时句中使用现在完成时结构，表达高级)[高分句型2]：Butheisconcernedthathemightnotgetregularwages.(运用了that引导宾语从句，表达高级)2、（2023下·上海·高二华师大二附中校考期中）MeettheWomanWhoGivesRescuedFarmAnimalsaSecondChanceatLifeShortlyafterdoctorsdiagnosedtenyearoldJennyBrownwithbonecancer,theyhadtocutoffherrightlegbelowthekneetosaveherlife.Facingayearofchemotherapy(化疗)afterthesurgery,Jennybeggedhermotherforakitten.TheorangecalicoJennynamedBoogierarelyleftherside,lickingtearsfromhercheeksafterhospitalvisitsandcurlingupinherlapassheadjustedtolifewithaprosthetic(假肢的)leg.“MyrelationshipwithBoogieshowedmethatanimalsthink,feel,andsufferasmuchaswedo,”saysJenny,now44.In1994,JennygraduatedfromColumbiaCollegeChicagoandbeganacareerintelevisionanddocumentaryproduction.Ontheside,shevolunteeredasavideographerforanimalrightsgroups,andin2002,sheshotundercoverfootageofhorribleanimalmistreatmentatseveralTexasfarmanimalstockyards.“Afterseeingthat,IknewIneededtohelpanimals,”saysJenny.Ayearlater,shegaveupherfilmcareerandwithherfiancé,DougAbel,afilmeditor,openedtheWoodstockFarmSanctuary,anonprofitorganizationdedicatedtorescuingandrecoveringfarmanimals,ona22acrepropertytheyboughtintherollinghillsofWoodstock,NewYork,thenextyear.InAugust2007,shereceivedacallfromAnimalCareandControlofNYCaboutasmallgoatithadfoundhoppingaroundProspectPark.Jennyguessedithadrunawayfromoneofthecity’smurderhouses.Thegoat’slegswereseverelyinjured,probablyfrombeingboundtogetherwithwire,anditsmouthwascoveredinaching.Jennyandherteambroughtthegoat,whichtheynamedAlbie,tothepreserve,buttheysoonrealizedthatAlbie’sleftfrontlegwasinjuredbeyondrepair.Afteraveterinarian(兽医)cutofftheleg.JennyaskedErikTomkins,thedoctorwhomakesJenny’sprostheses,tofashionalegforAlbie.Todate,sevenofthepreserve’sanimalshavereceivedprostheticlimbsorbraces.“Onmostfarms,animalswiththeseillnesseswouldbeimmediatelykilled,”saysJenny.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Jennyhadherrightlegcutoffduetocancerat10.HercatBoogiekeptherpanyassheadjustedtolifewithaprostheticleg.Laterinherlife,Jennydevotedherselftohelpinganimals,atfirstbyfilminganimalmistreatmentandthenbyrunningananimalsanctuary,whereillorinjuredanimalsreceivedprostheticlimbsorbraces.【导语】本文是一篇记叙文。文章讲述了珍妮在10岁时因癌症切除了右腿。她的猫Boogie陪伴着她适应了假肢的生活。之后，珍妮致力于帮助动物，一开始是拍摄动物虐待，然后是经营一个动物保护区，在那里生病或受伤的动物接受假肢或支架。【详解】1.要点摘录①ShortlyafterdoctorsdiagnosedtenyearoldJennyBrownwithbonecancer,theyhadtocutoffherrightlegbelowthekneetosaveherlife.TheorangecalicoJennynamedBoogierarelyleftherside,lickingtearsfromhercheeksafterhospitalvisitsandcurlingupinherlapassheadjustedtolifewithaprosthetic(假肢的)leg.②Ontheside,shevolunteeredasavideographerforanimalrightsgroups,andin2002,sheshotundercoverfootageofhorribleanimalmistreatmentatseveralTexasfarmanimalstockyards.Ayearlater,shegaveupherfilmcareerandwithherfiancé,DougAbel,afilmeditor,openedtheWoodstockFarmSanctuary,anonprofitorganizationdedicatedtorescuingandrecoveringfarmanimals,ona22acrepropertytheyboughtintherollinghillsofWoodstock,NewYork,thenextyear.③Todate,sevenofthepreserve’sanimalshavereceivedprostheticlimbsorbraces.2.缜密构思将第1个要点进行总说，将第2、3两个要点进行分说。3.遣词造句Jennyhadherrightlegremovedbecauseofcancerat10.HercatBoogieacpaniedherassheadaptedherselftolifewithaprostheticleg.Laterinherlife,Jennymittedherselftohelpinganimals,atfirstbyfilminganimalmistreatmentandthenbyrunningananimalsanctuary,wheresickorinjuredanimalsreceivedprostheticlimbsorbraces.【点睛】[高分句型1]HercatBoogiekeptherpanyassheadjustedtolifewithaprostheticleg.运用as引导时间状语对原文第一段进行了概括。[高分句型2]Laterinherlife,Jennydevotedherselftohelpinganimals,atfirstbyfilminganimalmistreatmentandthenbyrunningananimalsanctuary,whereillorinjuredanimalsreceivedprostheticlimbsorbraces.用where引导非限制性定语从句对最后三段进行了概括，表达非常高级。3、（2023上·上海·高二上海市晋元高级中学校考期中）SurferGuystotheRescuePasttheBreakers,about50feetfromshore,twobrotherswerefightingfortheirlives.Theyhadbeensweptouttoseainawildcurrent,theirmouthbarelyabletostayabovewater.Thickfogmadeitdifficultforbeachgoerstoseetheguys,butthescreamswereunmistakable.Andeverysecondcounted.Thebrothers,ages15and20,werewearingshortsandTshirts,unsuitableforaNovemberday,letalonethe50degreewater.KevenHarder,asupervisingranger,toldtheNorthCoastJournalthatswimminginsuchatemperature“takesthefightrightoutofyou.”Luckily,foursurfersinwetsuitswerenearby.NarayanWeibel,SpenserStraton,andSdrianYork,all16,alongwithTaj,15,wereontheirsurfingboardsridingupanddownthecoastonfivefootwaveswhentheyheardthecries.Theyturnedandsawtwobobbingheadsandfourflailingarms.“Welookedateachotherandknewtheseguyswereabouttodrown,”WeibeltoldtheWashingtonPost.Weibel,Stratton,andOrtizeBeckpaddledtowardthedistressedswimmerswhileYorkheadedtoshoretoalertsomeonetocall911.Hethendivedbackintohelphisfriends.Asthesurfersdrewclose,thebrotherswerestruggling.“Itwasprettystressful,buttherewasn’tanytimetothinkaboutit,andthathelpedmekeepcool,”OrtizBecksays.OrtizBeckpulledupalongsidetheyoungerbrother.Grabbinghimunderhisarms,heliftedhimontohisboard.StrattonandWeibel,meanwhile,werestrainingtohelptheolderbrother.Hewaslarge,250to300poundsandhewaspanicked!Yorkarrivedintimetohelpgettheolderbrotheratopthesecondboard.Thesurfersthenpaddledseveralminutesthroughthewatertothemedicalhelpwaitingonshore.Thebrotherswerescaredbutfine.“Whenwegetacalllikethis,it’susuallytoolatebythetimewegetthere,”saysDillon,afirstaider.“Ican’tsayenoughaboutwhattheseguysdid.Theywerewillingandpreparedtorisktheirlives.”【答案】Twobrothersweresweptouttoseaandtheywereabouttodrown,screamingforhelp.Fourboys,whensurfing,noticedandcametorescue.Threeofthempaddledtowardsthemandonealertedsomeoneonshoretocall911beforehejoinedtherest.Thebrotherswerefinallyrescued,thoughfrightened.Theboyswerepraisedfortheircourage.【分析】本文是一篇记叙文。两兄弟被卷进海里，眼看就要淹死了，他们尖叫着求救。四个男孩在冲浪时注意到了，并赶来营救。其中三人向他们划去，其中一人提醒岸上的人拨打911，然后才加入其他人的队伍。兄弟俩最后得救了，尽管他们很害怕。这些男孩因勇气而受到表扬。【详解】1要点摘录①PasttheBreakers,about50feetfromshore,twobrotherswerefightingfortheirlives.Theyhadbeensweptouttoseainawildcurrent,theirmouthbarelyabletostayabovewater.Thickfogmadeitdifficultforbeachgoerstoseetheguys,butthescreamswereunmistakable.②Luckily,foursurfersinwetsuitswerenearby.Theyturnedandsawtwobobbingheadsandfourflailingarms.Weibel,Stratton,andOrtizeBeckpaddledtowardthedistressedswimmerswhileYorkheadedtoshoretoalertsomeonetocall911.③Thebrotherswerescaredbutfine.④Ican’tsayenoughaboutwhattheseguysdid.Theywerewillingandpreparedtorisktheirlives.2.缜密构思：按照先后顺序对事件的发生经过进行了讲述3.遣词造句Twobrothersweresweptouttoseaandtheywereabouttodrown,screamingforhelp.Fourboys,whensurfing,noticedandcametorescue.Threeofthempaddledtowardsthemandonealertedsomeoneonshoretocall911beforehejoinedtherest.Thebrotherswerefinallyrescued,thoughfrightened.Theboyswerepraisedfortheircourage.【点睛】[高分句型1]Twobrothersweresweptouttoseaandtheywereabouttodrown,screamingforhelp.运用了现在分词作状语对原文第一段进行了概括。[高分句型2]Fourboys,whensurfing,noticedandcametorescue.运用了状语从句的省略对第二段进行了概括，表达非常高级。课后反馈课后反馈演练（2023下·上海七宝中学·高二期末）Directions:Readthefollowingpassage.Summarizethemainideaandthemainpoint(s)ofthepassageinnomorethan60words.Useyourownwordsasfaraspossible.SueandJohnsyarefriendsandtheyliveinonestudio.ButJohnsykeptherbed.Thedoctorthoughttherewasuncertainhopeandhecouldn’tseeanyconfidenceinJohnsy.Atthesametime,Johnsylayonthebed,lookingthroughthesmallwindowandcounted“10、9”and“8、7......”Shesaidfeebly.Whenthelastleaffellshemustgo.Sueheardthatandfeltsad.ShewenttoinviteoldBehrman,whowasapainterwithnoachievement.Andhealwaystalkedofhisingmasterpiece.BehrmanheardthestoryofJohnsyfromSue.Afterthebeatingrainandfiercewindthathadenduredthroughthenight,therewasstilloneleaf.Andanotherterriblenight,itwasstillhere.Johnsylayforalongtimelookingatit.Thenshesawthelife’senergyandwantedtolive.WiththehelpofdoctorandSue,Johnsywasoutofdanger.ButthebadnewswasthattheoldBehrmandiedofpneumonia.Andtheyknewthesecretthatthelastleafwasjustapainting,drewbyBehramninthatterriblenight.Thisisreallyabeautifulandsorrowfulstory.Wecangiveotherpeopleenergy,hopeandlove.Youcanseesomethingglitteringinourheart._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________